Surrendered

by Monica James

  I hold back my sob, biting down on my lip so brutally I know it’s beginning to bleed.

  “So, let’s leave it to fate,” he whispers. “Because fate brought you to me, and I believe it will do so again. I love you, Ava… I always will.”

  With one final kiss to my shoulder, Jasper leaves me.

  He leaves me standing, silently sobbing for the man I want, but can’t have.

  And now, I’m lost.

  Alone.

  Scared.

  I reopen my eyes, wiping away my tears, and a bittersweet smile sweeps across my lips.

  I may be lost, alone and scared.

  But… I will never surrender.

  And with that, the final chapter closes on Jasper White and Ava Thompson.

  One year later

  “C’mon, guys, let’s get this food out A-sap.” I clap, looking around the kitchen, which is filled with my brilliantly talented chefs.

  “Yes, Chef!” they say in unison, totally making fun of me.

  Giving them all a pointed look, I laugh lightly when they rush to their stations, prepping for the mad dinner rush.

  It’s 7:00 p.m., and I know the night has only just begun.

  I have been living in New York for one year, and what a year.

  After getting over the hustle and bustle that is New York City, I actually fell in love.

  New York is truly the city that never sleeps. And that’s one thing that New York and I have in common. But that’s okay, because when I sleep, I only dream of one thing—a pair of cerulean eyes. And that’s something I’ve been trying to forget, but no matter how many miles are between us, I don’t think I ever will.

  My life without Jasper has sucked, but I’ve made it work.

  The night Jasper and I said goodbye was the last time I ever saw him. Not that I actually saw him, as my eyes were shut tight, afraid to meet his because I couldn’t deal with the pain.

  Jasper White—even till this day, my heart belongs to him, and I have a small confession to make. I have been keeping track of him because P.O.E broke it big. Like real big.

  Jasper’s face has been on more than one cover of Rolling Stone, just like I knew it would. I never doubted he would succeed in something he was born to do. I have read each article more times than I care to admit, but I’m just so proud of him, and it comforts me to know that our journey together was all worth it.

  For the both of us.

  As I look around my baby, Metropolis, my heart swells in pride. I built this up from the ground, and all the blood, sweat, and tears were so worth it.

  Every night has been insanely busy, with most Friday and Saturday nights booked out weeks in advance. And that’s all because people want to try my food. My creations that may be a little different, but somehow, they work.

  I have redecorated and given the place more of a romantic feel. Soft lighting adds to the atmosphere, as do the pillar candles, which burn brightly in the middle of the square tables. I know, I know. I’m a hopeless romantic, but hey, it works. And besides, I need a little romance, seeing as I’ve been off the romance chart since I moved here.

  Not that I’m complaining.

  I have accepted that I’ll become the crazy old cat lady, screaming out gibberish to anyone who will listen—and I’m okay with that.

  But in all seriousness, I just can’t. The thought of being involved with anyone other than Jasper just isn’t worth it. I know who I want, I found my Mr. Right.

  He just wasn’t my Mr. Right at the right time in my life.

  Not that there is ever a right time for love.

  I give myself a mental slap and snap out of my funk, as these thoughts are not welcome here in my workplace. I can think about them when I slip into bed, alone at night, because God knows, that’s all I ever think about.

  “Gee, the service here really blows,” I hear to my left.

  Now that snaps me out of my mood.

  I spin around quickly and see a familiar face, smiling at me cheekily.

  “V!” I exclaim, running around the counter to tackle my best friend into a bear hug.

  She lets out a huffed laugh as I squeeze the air out of her. “Ava… can’t… breathe,” she says, slapping me on the back.

  “Oh shit, sorry,” I quickly let her go, apologizing for nearly crushing her lungs.

  But I can’t help it, I’m just so happy to see her, as I haven’t seen her in months.

  “Where is she?” I ask, looking around eagerly, hoping Lucas will be carrying in his little bundle of joy.

  V brushes back her long pink bangs, which I think complement her black hair beautifully. But V will always be beautiful in my eyes.

  “I left her in the car with the window down, she’ll be fine,” she says, waving me off playfully.

  My eyes bug out of my head and she laughs hysterically. “Oh, Ava, what kind of parent do you think I am? I left her with that hot guy you have working up front,” she says, waggling her eyebrows up and down, elbowing me.

  “Oh my God, you’re so bad,” I laugh, knowing that Cara is with Lucas.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask, untying my apron and escorting my best friend to a table.

  She latches onto my arm before I have a chance to sit.

  “It’s a surprise,” she says vaguely.

  “Okay,” I reply apprehensively, as I never know what I’m in for with V’s surprises.

  I look around, waiting for the surprise to magically appear, but then I bounce up and down, jumping to conclusions.

  “You’re pregnant!” I shout, and receive a few disapproving stares from a couple off to the right.

  “Sssh, you’ll jinx me,” V says, looking totally disgusted I would even suggest such a thing.

  “Watermelon and lemon, Ava, that’s all I’m saying.”

  I laugh, as I’ve heard her analogy about birth a billion times.

  “What is it then?” I ask curiously.

  “Come with me,” she says, tugging on my arm.

  Giving my regulars a small smile, I try to play off the fact I’m being dragged through my restaurant by a crazy, tattooed woman.

  “Where are we going?” I whisper out of the side of my mouth, attempting not to draw any more attention to myself.

  “What part of surprise don’t you understand?” V states as she pushes through the double glass doors.

  I try to shrug out of her firm grip, but she continues dragging me down the street like I’m a naughty child.

  Thankfully, she doesn’t manhandle me for too long and we hit a local bar, a few doors down.

  “What are we doing here?” I ask, shooing her hands away as she pulls out my ponytail and begins fluffing up my hair.

  “V, stop,” I yelp, as she unbuttons two of the buttons on my fitted white shirt.

  But of course, this falls on deaf ears.

  “Take your top off,” she says seriously.

  I look at her like she’s lost her mind. “What? No,” I reply, crossing my arms over my chest protectively.

  “Ava, don’t make me undress you here on the sidewalk, because you know I will,” V sighs in boredom, and I know she’ll make good on her threat.

  She begins rummaging through her bag, and pulls out handfuls of baby paraphernalia, something I never thought I’d see my friend ever doing.

  As I stare at her, my arms still crossed, she looks up, giving me a sharp look.

  “Okay, okay, sheesh,” I say, taking off my shirt, thankful I have a blue silk camisole on underneath.

  V pulls a tight sapphire one shoulder top out of her bag. “Put this on,” she says, and I don’t even argue with her as I slip it over my head.

  She stands back and taps her chin, deep in thought.

  “That’ll have to do.” She shrugs and starts yanking on my arm.

  “V!” I say, but she’s ignoring me, as she’s all but dragging me into the venue, people watching our unusual exchange.

  Mercifully, she lets go and plonks me onto a seat, rotating
me so I’m staring at the stage. She sits near me, looking around the packed venue, impressed.

  There are red leather couches and tables casually placed around the venue, and it works really well. The bar is off to my right and I turn to see patrons waiting patiently to be served. The place has a calm, laid back feel, and I wonder why I haven’t been here for a few drinks after work.

  Oh that’s right—my hermit status might be the cause.

  There’s an old, rickety stage in front of me, and I have no idea what she’s up to.

  “V?” I ask, as she applies lip-gloss, ignoring me.

  “V, what is—” Before I have a chance to finish, she grabs my cheeks in one hand, pursing my lips to stop me from talking.

  She cocks her head to the side, examining my face, and decides I need a coat of lip-gloss as she applies a thick layer.

  Pulling out of her grip, I shake my head. “What is the matter with you?” I ask, afraid for her sanity.

  The lights dim and V cocks an eyebrow, gesturing with her head for me to look up at the stage.

  A microphone stand and a lone stool are sitting center stage. A single spotlight is beaming down, highlighting its simplicity. My heart begins pounding against my chest because this is a scene I’ve seen before. It may be with a different instrument, but the effect is still the same.

  This is a memory I revisit often.

  But she wouldn’t.

  He wouldn’t.

  Would he?

  Could it be?

  All my questions are answered when out strolls a man who has taken my breath away from the first moment I saw him.

  He doesn’t look as I remember him.

  He looks better.

  He looks happy and he looks healed.

  I can’t take my eyes off him.

  It has been one whole year since I’ve seen the man I dream about. The man I have dreamt about every single night since I left him. The man I will want for the rest of my life.

  He coolly sits on the stool, adjusting his left-handed acoustic guitar, so it rests snugly across his lap. It takes all my willpower not to jump up and wrestle him to the floor. He is yards away from me, not miles, but mere yards. How am I going to control myself?

  But I wait, because I know Jasper, and what he has to say, he’ll do through song.

  I sneak a quick peek at V, who has a big smile on her face, and pokes her tongue out at me when I give her a ‘you’re so dead’ look.

  I will deal with her later, as the man in front of me has my full attention.

  He is breathtaking.

  His hair is still tousled, giving him that rebelliously carefree look, and his full lips are pulled in tight, deep in concentration.

  But it’s those eyes. Oh, those eyes.

  Those cerulean jewels that render me speechless.

  Jasper won’t meet my eyes, but I know he’s aware of my presence.

  He always is.

  His elegant fingers correct the positioning of the microphone, and he angles it perfectly, so it rests inches away for his cherub lips.

  “This is called “Surrendered,” he simply says, still not meeting my eyes as his windswept hair slips over his brow.

  Oh God—I just died.

  He takes a visible breath which expands his broad chest, and his grey t-shirt stretches over his taut torso, showing me a slice of heaven I want to snuggle into and never let go.

  His fingers flutter over the strings, and he deeply exhales before he starts playing the most beautiful song I have ever heard. The intro is melodious and heartfelt, and I know he’s written this song for me.

  I am mesmerized by his graceful fingers working over the strings, and as he parts his beautiful lips and begins singing, my heart kicks against my ribcage, demanding to break free. I haven’t heard him sing in so long, and up until now, I didn’t realize how much I needed it to breathe.

  My eyes take in the beautiful scene before me as Jasper sings the verse of how we met, and how I made him feel. All the ache, and all the turbulent highs and lows, he expresses so beautifully, and I almost forget how much they near broke me into two.

  He makes this song his and totally owns it, showing off his incredible talent by hitting all the high notes flawlessly.

  I can’t tear my eyes away from the miracle in front of me, and as he opens his lungs to the heavens, starting on the chorus, he finally meets my eyes.

  Our eyes stay locked when he sings, ‘I have surrendered to you,’ and I know he means that literally.

  He’s come back to me.

  The audience hums along with him, some locking arms with strangers and swaying to his angelic voice.

  The entire song my eyes stay glued to his, and his only waver when he lowers his head to look at the strings, which isn’t often, as he is a musical genius.

  As he sings about our journey together, and what it took to get to the here and now, there are no tears in my eyes because I’m not sad. No, I’m thankful. Thankful he still feels the same way about me as I do about him.

  He ends the song with the heartfelt and emotional phrase, ‘I have surrendered to you,’ and the crowd erupts into a loud applause. But the deafening sound doesn’t interrupt our stare off. And that’s because in this moment, no one else exists.

  It’s only me and Jasper.

  Just how it should be.

  I can’t stop my feet as I jump up and run towards him. He rises with a dimpled smile, knowing me all too well.

  Charging up the stairs, I throw myself into his arms and feel my feet leave the ground as he wraps me into his tight embrace, not letting go.

  I vaguely hear a wolf whistle, which I know belongs to V, but the building could be crumbling around me and I wouldn’t care.

  I am in the arms of Jasper White—my miracle.

  Burying my nose into the crook of his neck, I inhale the only fragrance in the world that smells like home.

  I’m not sure how long we stay intertwined, and only when my feet touch the ground do I come back down to earth. Well, only just.

  I’m afraid to pull out of his embrace and I hold on tighter, just in case this is all a dream. But as I feel his familiar fingers rub circles on my lower back, I know this is real, and then…the tears start.

  Once they begin, they don’t stop, and I don’t expect them to, as I’m crying a year’s worth of tears.

  Jasper takes my hand and leads me someplace, and only when light raindrops tickle my skin, do I realize we are outside.

  I feel like an idiot. I know I need to stop crying, so I bite the inside of my cheek and tell myself to breathe.

  It thankfully works, and after a few calming breaths, I stop sobbing.

  I look at Jasper, and my God, he is beautiful.

  My memory has done a poor job at remembering him.

  I stare at him, just like I was when we first met, and it’s funny, because that’s how I feel. I feel like I’m meeting him for the first time.

  And then I realize, this isn’t Jasper White.

  No, this is Jasper White Blackwood. A confident, brave survivor who has finally grown into the man he was determined to become. But I know Jasper, and he will always remain Jasper White. No matter how horrible his past, his name is a reminder of what he endured to survive.

  “Ava…” he says in a soft whisper.

  Oh dear Lord, his voice is music to my ears, and I wonder how I survived without it.

  I close my eyes, afraid if I take in another inch of him, I’m going to collapse.

  I feel his warm hands snake around my middle, and my breath catches in my throat.

  “I love you.”

  It’s amazing that three simple words can change a person’s life.

  I reopen my eyes, watching raindrops race down Jasper’s chiseled jaw, slipping into his parted, lush lips. It’s only then do I realize it is pouring. But I’m not moving an inch, as this moment is everything it should be.

  “Ava, I—”

  I peer at him curiously, what is he going
to say?

  The rain is matting my hair to my forehead, and it’s getting into my eyes, but I’m frozen. I need to hear what he came a billion miles to tell me.

  “I surrender,” he simply says, a dimple hugging his left cheek.

  “Surrender?” I softly question.

  Jasper nods, his hair sticking to his brow. “I have surrendered to you.”

  I don’t fail to notice the significance in that one tiny phrase.

  Jasper and I have surrendered to each other—completely.

  No more fears, or apprehension, this is it this time. The time apart, no matter how hard and painful, and at times unbearable, was worth it. And that’s because it has led us to this. We have both grown and accomplished our dreams. And now, our dreams can be shared together.

  Jasper reaches into his back pocket, producing something that regardless of the rain, catches the shine off the full moon. The rain begins pounding heavier, and my teeth start chattering because I’m sopping wet. But this, this is how I envisioned being proposed to.

  This… this is simply perfect.

  Jasper drops to both knees, yielding before me, clasping my trembling left hand in his. He peers up at me, and the sight before me is ethereal.

  “Marry me.”

  This time around, when he says it, there is no doubt in my mind what my answer will be. I don’t care where we go. New York, L.A., Australia—it doesn’t matter as long as I’m with him, everything else will fall into place around us.

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  Jasper closes his eyes, a dimpled smile spreading from cheek to cheek.

  As he reopens them, his eyes shine, rivaling the bright moonlight. But his shine won’t fade by dawn. No, his will last for an eternity.