Love Struck

by Amber Garza

  When I hug her, she brings her hand up to cup my chin. Then she turns my face to hers and steals a kiss on my lips. I raise my eyebrows, surprised by her boldness.

  "Feel better now?" She laughs, taking the seat across from me.

  "Kind of. I mean, it'll tide me over for now, but I'll need a bigger fix later."

  "You're quite greedy, aren't you?" She juts out her hand, curling her fingers around the white paper cup in front of her. I watch as she lifts it to her lips and takes a sip. "Hmmm. I love it. Star and I can't get enough of our mochas."

  It's the first time I've heard her mention a common interest between she and her best friend. Maybe they aren't as different as I think. "Have you and Star been friends for a long time?"

  She nods, setting her cup down. "Since freshman year. Kind of the same thing as you and Beckett. Star is like a sister to me. I mean, I have a sister, but we're not that close." Her eyes take on a serious look I rarely see with her.

  "What about your parents? You close to them?"

  "Depends on how you define close. To an outsider it would seem we are a tight knit family. My dad is kind of all about appearances. He's a prominent doctor in our area, and our family’s reputation is important to him. But he's a workaholic, and my mom spends more time with her friends than me." She lifts and drops her shoulders in a nonchalant way. "It's no biggie though. Who wants to hang with their parents anyway, huh?"

  Her tough act isn't working on me. I can tell it does matter to her. Reaching across the table, I cover her hand with mine.

  She clears her throat. "What about you? Are you close to your mom?"

  I know she's just trying to avert the conversation, but I go with it anyway. "Yeah. It's always just been the two of us, but it's cool. Less complicated that way."

  She smiles. "Sounds heavenly. I hate complicated."

  "Yeah, me too."

  Lola's gaze scours the room. "So what's the story with this place? Any bad memories you need me to erase?"

  I lean back in my chair, wanting to say yes. The thought of shoving Lola up against the wall and kissing her is pretty tempting. But I answer honestly, "No, only good memories here. Beckett and I used to come here all the time to talk through songs and lyrics. Then we started playing a lot of open mic nights. It actually helped us gain a lot of exposure."

  "So do you write songs too?" Lola picks up her cup again.

  "No, not like Beckett. Sometimes I help him with a lyric here and there when he's struggling. But he's the true songwriter."

  "Star writes a lot too." Lola sips her drink, a wistful look in her eyes. "I've always been amazed with her ability to make something out of nothing. I could never do that."

  "Come on, you never wrote anything? Not even angsty poetry as a teen?" My gaze catches on the couple in the corner, their messy hair and unique style, and I think how they probably write poetry.

  "Nope. Not even then. I wasn't one of those brooding teens who wore all black and shopped at thrift stores," she replies with a grin, and I wonder if she can read my mind.

  "I imagine you were too busy breaking all the guys' hearts," I tease, taking a large gulp of my coffee.

  "How'd you know?"

  I angle my body forward, resting my elbows on the table. "You're not going to break my heart, are you, Lola?"

  "Don't give me a reason to, and I won't," she deadpans, and I realize we aren't joking anymore.

  I sit up straighter. "I won't ever do anything to hurt you, Lola."

  "Sometimes people can't help it, Ryker. Sometimes even with the best of intentions people hurt each other." She pauses, searching my eyes as if she's trying to read something in them. "That's the thing that scares me about relationships. I don't know if you've noticed this about me, but I kinda like being in control."

  I chuckle, running my fingers over the rim of my cup. "No, I hadn't noticed that. Not at all."

  "Shut up." She swats away my words with a short giggle. "That's why I've never fallen in love. The idea of relinquishing control to another person scares the shit out of me. I never want someone to have that kind of power over me."

  I know I'm falling for this girl, and the idea that she will never let herself fall for me pierces my heart. Maybe Beckett’s right. Perhaps she will end up hurting me just like Fiona did. Pushing my coffee cup out of the way, I take both of her hands in mine. "But what if you meet the right person; the person worthy of your heart; the person who will guard you heart like it's more precious than anything else in the world?"

  She swallows hard, her neck swelling with the effort. "People are flawed. It's a fact. No one's perfect. Therefore, no one can promise to never hurt me, no matter how well intentioned."

  "You know what I think?" I say softly, bending forward. "I think that love is a risk, and I think that before you met me, you hadn't met anyone worth the risk."

  "Are you saying that you're worth the risk, Ryker?"

  I nod. "I am, and I'll prove it to you if you'll let me."

  She rests her back against the chair, assessing me for a moment. I can hear my heart hammering in my ears. My palms moisten, but I don't dare release her hands. In fact, I squeeze even harder. Finally a slow smile spreads across her face. "I've never been one to step down from a challenge. You're on."

  I smile.

  "Don't disappoint me," she answers sternly.

  "Hey, I'm the one with the most to lose here. If I screw up, who's going to feed my addiction?"

  This causes a laugh to bubble from her throat, and my heart soars. I will never tire from making her laugh. I have a feeling I'll never tire from anything about her. In my entire life, I've never wanted anyone like I want Lola Vega. Proving to her that she can trust me with her heart is something I have to do, because losing her just isn't an option.

  9

  Lola

  "How are things going with you and Ryker?" Star tosses her clothes into the hamper near her bed. Of course, she misses, and her jeans land on the ground a few feet away. Without bothering to pick it up, she thrusts her pajama clad body onto her bed, the springs creaking beneath her weight.

  My gaze stays glued to the offending jeans, my fingers itching to pick them up. Agitated, I look away. I'm too tired to get out of my bed anyway. It's late and I have class early in the morning. "It's going well. How about you and Beckett?"

  "There's nothing going on with me and Beckett." Star props her pillow up behind her head.

  "Yeah, right," I snort. "It's clear that you like him. I mean, you haven't even looked at another guy since you met him. Hell, Ryker even set you up with one of his friends and you weren't interested at all." Wind howls outside the window.

  Star gives me a dumbfounded look. "Forrest? He was seriously not my type."

  "Not your type?" I sit up, bunching the covers near my waist. My gaze once again flickers to the jeans.

  "It's really bothering you, isn't it?" Star follows my eyes.

  "Oh, hell. Just pick them up," I say, exasperated.

  Giggling, Star shoves off her covers, and slides off the bed.

  While she collects the jeans, I plow on. "Forrest is exactly the kind of guy you usually go for. So, what gives?" I think back to the disastrous double date with Star and Forrest. He was such a nice guy, but she didn’t even give him a chance.

  Star tosses the jeans inside the hamper and then jumps back up onto her bed. The light in the room is dim, the blinds closed. Voices ring out in the hall.

  "Maybe my taste in boys has changed since we came here. Yours certainly has."

  "Meaning?"

  "Oh, come on. Ryker is not like the guys you usually date. I doubt he has a country club membership, and I don't think he can afford to shop at a fancy boutique. He's not exactly the kind of guy you can bring home and introduce to Dr. Vega."

  Her words ring true and cause my stomach to ache. As much as I hate to admit it, Ryker is the first guy I've actually been able to envision myself staying with long term. Only I know it'll never work out with him. My
parents will never accept my relationship with a struggling musician. Then again, maybe he has more going for him than just that. I make a mental note to ask him what his major is and what plans he has for after graduation.

  "Not to mention the fact that he seems to be falling for you, and you haven't pushed him away yet," Star points out.

  I groan, my fingers finding the edge of my comforter. Slipping my fingers beneath it, I fiddle with the soft fabric nervously. "I tried. I talked to him about it the other night."

  "Don't tell me you shared your whole philosophy on never falling in love."

  I squirm beneath her knowing gaze.

  "Lola, you didn't."

  Nodding, I flash her a wry smile.

  "How did he take it?" Star stretches her legs out under her comforter and rests her head against the wall.

  "He sort of took it like a challenge." My whole body warms, thinking of our conversation in the coffee shop.

  "Lola Vega," Star says with a smile. "I think you may have finally met your match."

  Met my match indeed. In the late afternoon, I emerge from my final class to find Ryker leaning against the wall. Elbowing my way through the other students all filing out of the classroom at the same time, I make my way toward him. He pushes off the wall when I approach. He presses a kiss to my temple and snakes his arm around my waist, fitting perfectly under my backpack.

  "What are you doing here?" I ask, leaning my head against his shoulder.

  "I missed you," he says simply, and I'm stunned by the brazen response. Most guys do not admit when they miss a girl. At least not in my experience.

  "I thought you had class tonight?"

  A couple of days a week Ryker had class in the evening, so he could stay up late the night before for gigs or rehearsal or whatever.

  "I do, but that still leaves me with a couple of hours with you." His arm tightens around me. "Think you can spare a couple of hours for me?"

  "I guess I can fit you into my schedule," I tease. The truth is that I am a stickler for my schedule. I hate doing things spontaneously. I like things well planned out. But right now there's nowhere I'd rather be than here with Ryker.

  "Hungry?" he asks.

  "A little," I say coyly.

  "Then I think it's my turn to have your remedy." He allows his arm to slide out from around my waist. Then he grabs my hand and yanks me forward. We step out of the hallway, away from the crowd of students. "C'mon."

  Curious as to what he's up to, I follow behind him. He leads me out to the parking lot, and together we weave our way in and out of cars until we get to his Honda. Cars skid past us, and students race by.

  "So, where are you going to take me in your rockstar mobile?" I tease.

  Ryker circles his arms around my waist and kisses me swiftly on the mouth. "Sorry. I needed a little hit."

  "You know that's never going to satisfy your craving." I grab him by the collar of his thin t-shirt and draw his lips to mine again. Chattering and footsteps sound behind us, and I pull back. When I glance around I realize that the other students barely give us a second glance.

  Ryker exhales, a long stream of air pushing past his lips. "We're not going anywhere in my rockstar mobile, as you called it."

  "We're not?" I lean against the side of the car. The door handle sticks into my butt, and I readjust my position.

  "Nope." He pops the trunk and dips his hand inside.

  Too curious not to peek, I lean forward on my tiptoes and look inside just as Ryker extracts a picnic basket.

  "A picnic? You're really messing up your whole rockstar rep, you know that?"

  "I'm not interested in my rep, Lola. I'm interested in you." Holding the picnic basket in one hand, he slams the trunk closed with the other.

  I bite my lip, unable to formulate a response. This guy really does know how to render me speechless.

  "Let's go. I know the perfect spot." With his free hand, he snatches up mine.

  The perfect spot is a lush patch of grass under a large, leafy tree. Ryker spreads out a blanket and then plops down on top of it, rooting around in his picnic basket. As I sit down next to him, I ask, "So where did you get all these picnic supplies? Is this like what you do with all the girls you date?"

  With his arm still half hidden inside the basket, he tosses me a smile. "No, I've never actually taken a girl on a picnic before. But my mom got this basket as a gift years ago. She let me borrow it."

  "Oh." I bend my legs, pulling them closer to my body.

  Ryker holds up two foil wrapped burritos. "Chicken or beef?"

  "You got us burritos?"

  "Not just any burritos. I bought them at the best burrito place in town."

  I giggle. "I guess you've gained some of your man card back. I was a little worried that the basket was full of strawberries and champagne."

  He peeks inside. "Nope. Sodas, burritos and chips. Is that okay?"

  "It's perfect," I answer. "Chicken."

  "Here you go." He tosses me the foil wrapped monstrosity.

  "This is huge," I eye the giant burrito, wondering how I'll ever eat the whole thing.

  "Yeah, I get that a lot." He winks.

  "And now your man card has been returned in full." I roll my eyes. "I guess you have kept your rockstar image intact after all." I lean back on my arm. A flurry of students blur past just a few feet away. They all look so stressed and harried. Actually they look the way I normally feel. But not in this moment. In this moment, I feel completely at peace.

  "You know you love it."

  He's right. At first I thought I just liked Ryker because he was different from the guys I normally date, but the more time I spend with him I find myself falling for who he is, not what he is. He's no longer 'rockstar Ryker' to me. He's just Ryker, and I like him. A lot. It's actually a little scary.

  I carefully unwrap the top of the burrito. When I take a bite, salsa dribbles down my chin. "Do you have a napkin?" I wipe some salsa with my hand to keep it from traveling down my neck. Ryker tosses me a napkin, and I wipe my face. "So, what's your major?"

  He chews for a second and then swallows. "Business."

  Maybe I'd misjudged him. "Really? What kind of business do you want to go into?"

  He shrugs. "I don't. I just want to play music. I only majored in business because my mom talked me into it. She wants me to have something to fall back on in case music doesn't work out for me."

  "So, you have no plans to acquire a high powered corporate job after graduation?" I quip, picking a cube of chicken out of my burrito and popping it into my mouth. The spicy, tender meat melts on my tongue.

  "Hell no. After graduation I plan to continue to play my guitar. Hopefully we'll make it big."

  "And if you don't?" I hope he has some kind of backup plan. If he ever meets my parents they will definitely ask him about it.

  "Then I have no idea what I'll do. Music is the only thing I'm good at."

  "That's not true." I stretch out my leg, and nudge him with my foot. "You arrange a mean picnic."

  "Yeah, if only that were a career."

  "It is," I banter back. "It's called catering."

  "Oh yeah, that sounds right up my alley."

  I laugh, but when the reality hits me my insides coil. Yeah, I can just see how well this conversation would go with my parents. "When will you graduate?"

  "This Spring, actually. I'm in my last year."

  "You must be so excited." It's not like he went away to college. He stayed in his home town so school is just school to him. Not an adventure like it is for Star and me.

  "Not really. Finishing school means that I'm going to have to pay off my student loans, and I won't get financial aid anymore. So really, once I finish school I'm going to have to be a grown up. Not exactly looking forward to that." He pauses. "What about you? What are you majoring in?"

  I shrug. "Not sure. Right now I'm just focusing on general-ed. I know I have to pick a major, but it's so hard. I don't know what my thing is. I'm not lu
cky enough to have found my passion like you did."

  "C'mon, there's got to be something you like to do."

  "I like to boss people around," I say with a light chuckle under my words. A cool breeze tickles my arms, and I shudder.

  "That's a start. It's the makings of a good boss, right?"

  Is this guy for real? Like I can really make a career out of the fact that I'm a control freak? "Yeah, I suppose so."

  "What's it like being so far from home, Lola?" Ryker reaches for the hand in my lap, the one not holding the giant burrito.

  His fingers mesh with mine, and I smile. "It's kind of nice actually. Freeing." I look up at him. "Did you ever think of leaving Seattle?"

  "Nah. I can't leave my mom. She needs me."

  His eyes light up whenever he talks about his mom. I seriously found the last good guy left on the planet. I'm sure of it. "But what about if you make it big? Won't you have to leave her then?"

  "I'll deal with that when the time comes." He studies my fingers, lazily stroking the inside of my palm with his thumb. "But there's no reason to leave her prematurely."

  While I sit under this tree with Ryker's fingers exploring my palm, I think about how Ryker doesn't fit into the carefully constructed plan I have for my life. I may have never been able to figure out what I want to do for a career, but I always knew what kind of guy I'd end up with. A guy with big aspirations and a lot of schooling - a doctor, lawyer, or dentist or something. Someone with a lot of money who could give me the kind of life I'd grown accustomed to. A guy my parents would approve of. However, in this moment I don't care if Ryker doesn't fit into the plan. In fact, I think I'd be okay with changing the plan to make sure he fits in it. Because right now, I can't imagine a plan that doesn't involve him.

  .

  10

  Ryker

  "You sure you're okay with this, Lola?" I curl my hands around Lola's tiny waist and pull her to me. My fingers slide through the little loops in the side of her impossibly short skirt. We're in her dorm room. Star's gone, but we don't have time to take advantage of it. We have to get back to my place for the party Pierce and I are having. It was Pierce’s idea. I’m still not sure it’s a good idea, so a part of me is hoping Lola won’t want to go. However, so far she’s been more excited than anyone.