by Lisa Ireland
* * *
It was late afternoon before Luke made his way back to the hospital. A call to check on Jenna’s condition had provided some good news, she’d been moved out of ICU and was now in a regular surgical ward. This knowledge had eased his guilt at being away from her side for so long. All day he’d been distracted, unable to stop thinking about her, but it had been important to spend this time with Maggie, especially now. Soon there would be a huge distance between them and he wanted to make sure that Maggie was fine before he left.
And then there was business to attend to. Tandarra wasn’t running itself in his absence. He’d been fortunate enough to get his cousin, Sean, to manage the property while he was away. Sean was expecting him back the day after tomorrow but now there was a change of plans. Luckily his cousin had been amenable to a more open-ended arrangement.
He hoped Jenna would be awake when he got there. Maybe it was selfish but he didn’t want to wait any longer to tell her about his day, to tell her about all the plans he’d put in place.
He found her on the fourth floor, thankfully in a single room. It took some charm and persuasion before the nurse in charge granted him permission to see her — apparently visiting hours finished at three o’clock “sharp”— but his doctor status, along with a promise not to overexcite the patient, got him over the line.
The perfume of cut flowers assaulted his nostrils as he opened the door. Jenna looked up from the magazine she was reading. ‘You came back.’
‘Of course I did. I’m sorry I took so long, but I had some things to take care of.’ He kissed her gently on the cheek and sat down on the vinyl-covered chair beside her bed.
‘That’s okay. I know this was a big day in the Tanner family. I hope you didn’t rush off on my account.’ She lowered her eyes.
‘I had plenty of time with Maggie and Joey. Mind you it was hard to get a look in with Maggie’s mum and sisters all clucking about.’ His mouth formed a lopsided smile. ‘I’m glad to see you looking so much better than you did this morning.’
Jenna nodded. ‘I feel better, thanks to you. I’m so grateful for your help. If you hadn’t come over when you did, goodness only knows what would have happened.’
He waved her thanks away. ‘You would have called an ambulance yourself. I really didn’t do anything.’
She shook her head and her eyes became watery with emotion. ‘I don’t know about that. In any case, thank you for coming when I called and for staying with me.’
‘It was truly my pleasure.’ He couldn’t bear to watch her cry. More than anything he wanted to comfort her, to take her in his arms and plant soft kisses on her head, but he was unsure of how she would react to such an outpouring of affection. Hopefully there would be time for that later. Instead he changed the subject. ‘It’s like a florist in here. I can’t believe so many people have tracked you down already.’
‘I know. I’m pretty amazed myself. The roses are from Maggie and Joey, the lilies are from Brooke, and that beautiful native arrangement is from Charlotte.’
‘Lottie, eh? Good to see the Barlow Grapevine is in good working order.’
Jenna laughed and then winced. ‘Ow. Don’t be cracking too many jokes. It hurts to laugh.’
‘I’ll try to keep that in mind. Speaking of the Barlow Grapevine, there’s something I want to talk to you about before some well-meaning busybody mentions it to you. I want you to hear it from me first.’
* * *
Last time a guy had said he wanted to give her the news himself, the “news” was he was marrying someone else. Please God, don’t let it be that. Not today. She realised now she’d never loved Simon, so while his betrayal had thrown her it hadn’t left her completely devastated.
Luke was a different story. What if it wasn’t that he had no room in his life for love, but that he simply didn’t have enough room for her? That was a rejection she wasn’t up for. Not today at least. ‘You don’t owe me any explanations about anything, Luke. I’m leaving Melbourne soon so I don’t think you need to fear me accidentally discovering your secret, whatever it may be.’
Luke grinned. ‘Now that’s where you’re wrong.’
Clearly he was hell bent on spilling the beans. She sucked in a breath and tried to steel herself against whatever was to come. ‘Okay, out with it then.’
‘I’ve decided to sell Tandarra.’
In a million years she would not have guessed that these words would come out of his mouth. ‘What? Why? I don’t understand.’
‘It doesn’t feel like home anymore.’
‘But Maggie — ’
‘Maggie agrees. Turns out that I needed Maggie far more than she ever needed me. She’s decided to move back to Melbourne to be closer to her mum and sisters. It’ll be good for Joey to grow up surrounded by his cousins, just like Joe and I did.’
‘But surely Tandarra needs to be part of that? If not every day, then on holidays?’
Luke shrugged. ‘That would be ideal of course, but Tandarra doesn’t run itself. It needs someone to manage it. I can’t afford to employ someone, and even if we sold off the stock, I can’t afford to have the property just sitting there idle.’
‘I’m confused. If you’re not running Tandarra what will you be doing?’
Luke smiled. ‘Something I should have done ages ago. I’m going back to medicine.’
Now he was starting to make sense. ‘Luke, that’s wonderful.’
‘I have you to thank for making me realise it was possible.’
‘Me?’
‘Yes. When Brooke hurt herself and I had to treat her I realised how much I missed being a doctor, but I still didn’t trust myself enough to consider going back to the profession. Then you made me look at things a different way.’
She shook her head slowly. ‘How did I do that?’
‘When you yelled at me during Maggie’s labour and told me to get over myself, I started to wonder if I was being self indulgent by staying away from medicine. Joey’s birth made me think about the possibility of going back to it. Then, last night…’ His voice wavered slightly and he dropped his gaze.
‘What?’
‘Last night when you called, I knew that despite knowing everything about me, you still trusted me with your health. That meant a lot.’
‘Of course I trust you. Everyone in Barlow trusts you too. You are your harshest critic.’
Luke nodded. ‘You’re right. The truth is I’ve been scared. It takes guts to make the hard decisions and I’ve been a wimp. Last night I decided it was time to harden up.’
‘Good for you. And for the people of Barlow.’
Luke shook his head. ‘Maybe not so much for the town depending on how you look at it.’
Was it the painkillers they had her on or was Luke being deliberately obtuse? Jenna creased her brow in exasperation. ‘What do you mean by that?’
‘I’m not going back to Barlow.’ There was a hint of excitement in his voice.
‘Oh… I guess I can understand that. Maybe a fresh start is what you need. Where do you think you’ll go?’
He was beaming at her now. Grinning like the proverbial Cheshire cat. ‘Guess.’
Now he was just being tiresome. ‘I don’t know. And really, I’m rather tired. Either tell me or don’t. I’m not in the mood for guessing games.’
‘Sorry.’ His face flushed slightly. ‘London. If you’ll have me, I would really like to come to London with you.’
Did he mean…? Was he saying he wanted to be with her? Really be with her? Was this some sort of drug-induced hallucination? Or was he joking? She looked up sharply. ‘What are you saying? Don’t mess with me, Luke. I’m not well enough to deal with practical jokes right now.’
‘I’m not joking. Far from it. That’s where I’ve been all afternoon, ringing and emailing mates in the UK. Seeing if I can wangle myself a job over there. I love you, Jenna. Last night, watching as they carted you off to surgery, I was terrified. I knew then that I didn’t want to waste
any more time. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.’
Oh God he was serious. Jenna closed her eyes and tried to process what Luke had just said. He wanted her. He was prepared to sell his family home and give up the country life he loved just to be with her. It was everything she’d secretly dreamed of since that first kiss on the night of the ball. Luke was prepared to make her the centre of his universe, something that no man, hell, no person, had ever done before.
There was just one little problem.
She opened her eyes and looked at him. The grin was gone and an apprehensive expression had settled on his face. She realised he was waiting for her answer. ‘So did you find one? A job I mean.’
He nodded. ‘I think I’m in with a good chance of picking up a position in the ER at St George’s. My mate Hamish works there. He wasn’t too thrilled when I woke him at 6 a.m. London time, but after he’d woken up he was happy to help. He said there’s a temporary position opening up in six weeks’ time. He’s emailed me the details and says he’ll put in a good word for me. Reckons I’m a shoe-in.’
‘Oh God, I’m so sorry Luke.’ She couldn’t help herself. She placed a hand on her wound to support it and began to laugh.
Luke frowned. ‘Sorry for what? What’s so goddamned funny?’
She shook her head and held out her hand to him. ‘I love you too. I want nothing more than for us to be together, but I have to tell you, I’m not going to London. I turned down the job yesterday afternoon.’
‘What?’ He manoeuvred his arms around the various tubes and gathered her up into to his arms. ‘You’re kidding me, right?’
‘I’m afraid not.’
Luke joined in her laughter. ‘Hamish is going to kill me.’ After a moment his face became serious again. He brushed the hair from her face and tenderly stroked her cheek. ‘I don’t care where it is, I just want to be with you. You’re my home.’ He leaned in and tenderly pressed his lips to hers.
Jenna drew him to her, wanting to feel the thud of his heart against her own. This was real, not a dream, but she could hardly dare to believe it.
After a moment he pulled back and gently took her hands in his. ‘So if not London, then what? I thought you said you were leaving Melbourne?’
‘I am. I mean that’s what I’d planned. You were on the mark yesterday morning when you asked if I was finding it hard to settle back into my work. The time I spent in Barlow changed me. I realised I had my priorities all wrong.’
‘How’s that?’
‘I’ve spent my whole life trying to control everything. I was so busy trying to protect myself from being hurt that I wasn’t really living at all. When I met you I realised I couldn’t stop myself from falling in love. It just happened. If you didn’t love me back, no checklist in the world could shield me from the pain.’
‘Checklist? What are you talking about?’
She felt the heat rise up her neck and into her cheeks. ‘I had a list of criteria for potential partners.’
Luke guffawed. ‘So how did I fare?’
‘Not well, I’m afraid.’ She gave a small chuckle. ‘In fact your score was downright dismal.’
‘I’m shocked.’ Luke grinned at her. ‘So, I still don’t get it. Why not London?’
‘I never intended to go into this line of work. I always wanted to be a writer, but I was afraid I would never make any money writing fiction. I started off writing freelance stories for magazines and eventually I ended up being the editor of Gloss.’
‘I thought you loved your work.’
‘I did, I guess, but probably not for the reasons you think. My career moves were all part of the grand plan of “having it all”. I know this will be hard for you to understand, coming from the family you do, but I’ve never known the joy of living in a home filled with love. I thought if I tried hard enough I could create the perfect family. I figured if I made good money and chose a partner carefully I could give my children the stability I never had. Now I realise how stupid that was. Being able to give kids a big home, fashionable clothes and an expensive education isn’t important. Creating a home filled with love is what counts.’
‘How many?’
‘How many what?’
‘Kids. How many kids are we factoring in to our new Grand Plan?’
We. He definitely said we. Jenna’s heart soared.
‘Lots. At least three.’
He leaned in to kiss her again, his hand reaching behind her head to pull her close. When she eventually drew away from him, he smiled. ‘You still haven’t told me where we’re going.’
She shrugged. ‘I really didn’t have a destination in mind. Writing the story about Maggie and the other Barlow women gave me an idea for a novel set somewhere in the bush. My plan was to move to a small town for a while to immerse myself in the community. I guess you could call it research.’
‘Any ideas where?’
She shook her head. ‘I thought I’d just see where the road takes me.’
‘Sounds like a plan.’
‘It would be great if we could find a place that needs a doctor.’
Luke grinned. ‘Bound to be plenty of those.’
A smile twitched at Jenna’s mouth. ‘Yeah, in fact I can think of one already.’
‘Where’s that?’
‘Barlow.’
The look on Luke’s face brought a lump to her throat.
‘Really?’ he asked, his voice thick with emotion. ‘You’d move there for me?’
‘Luke Tanner, there’s nothing on earth I wouldn’t do for you. But moving to Barlow is for me as well. For us. Tandarra’s in your blood. It’s where you come from, who you are. It’s your history. I want our kids to feel part of that. Please don’t sell it.’
‘Whatever you want, Miss Jimmy Shoes.’
Jenna rolled the magazine up and clocked him on the head with it. ‘That’ll be enough of that, Doctor Tanner. I might love you but I’m still not impressed with you calling me that name.’
‘Hmmm, we’ll have to think of a new name then. How about Mrs Tanner?’
Jenna frowned while she pretended to consider his question. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I like that one. I like it very much indeed.’
Epilogue
Country Chic
From the kitchen table of Jenna Tanner
Greetings from Barlow,
I write today with mixed emotions. I’m partly sad, because this will be my last column for Gloss, at least for a while. But another part of me is bursting with happiness and excitement, because it won’t be long before I’ll get to meet “the bump”.
Luke and I have decided to go against the current trend; we don’t know if “the bump” is a boy or a girl. Well, Luke says he doesn’t know, but I’m not convinced. You’d think the town doctor would be able to interpret an ultrasound scan, but he swears he closed his eyes at the critical moment!
Shopping for baby gear and fashionable maternity clothes here in Barlow presents somewhat of a challenge. Last month I drove 60 kilometres to a nearby town, only to find everything in stock was more last century than last season. You will be pleased to know that I have risen to the occasion and have managed to furnish the nursery and dress myself quite adequately without so much as one visit to The Big Smoke. How? The internet, my friends, I have discovered online shopping. It’s like magic. All I have to do is click on the object of my desire and voila! It’s mine.
My friends have helped too, sending an array of gifts from far and wide. The ladies at the Country Women’s Association have all knitted booties (how sweet!) and my friend, Brooke, has made me some gorgeous maternity clothes. She and her husband Rob are living on a wildlife reserve in Africa now, so her last lot of floaty garments were inspired by the vivid colours of her surroundings. I can tell you I caused a bit of a stir at the General Store when I went to buy milk wearing an orange chiffon caftan!
I can’t believe that I have been writing this column for almost two years. I know when I moved here some of you wondered
how I would survive away from designer stores and sushi bars. Indeed, I did wonder the same thing myself. But I’m a Country Chick now. Last week I found myself singing along to a Keith Urban song. Will wonders never cease?
I am beginning to appreciate the everyday wonders that living in the country affords me: good friends and neighbours and the time to really talk to them; fresh local produce and real home cooking; breathtakingly beautiful scenery from every window in my house; and, of course, my wonderful husband is here to share all this with me, which makes life perfect. Well, almost perfect. I still need to teach Frank, our local publican, how to make a decent skinny latte.
Being here has also inspired me to follow my heart and do the thing I’ve always dreamed of. After years of talking about it I’ve finally written a novel. As yet, I haven’t found a publisher, but keep your fingers crossed for me.
I must leave you here, as I’m a busy little farmer today. There are animals to be fed, bills to pay, and guests to prepare for. My sister-in-law, Maggie, is on her way to stay with us. Luke’s family have a tradition of planting a rose when a new baby is born, so Maggie and her son, Joey, want to be here for the occasion. She’s also bringing the new man in her life. I’m very excited because we’ve not had the pleasure of meeting him yet.
So this is it. Farewell, dear reader, and if you ever find yourself in Barlow, do drop in and say hello.
Jenna x
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