Fire and Fog

by Andrew Grey

  Robin inhaled and stifled a groan. Dwayne smelled so good. Desire and excitement washed through him, and he shuddered. Thankfully, Dwayne seemed to interpret that as fear and held him tighter, which did nothing to alleviate the problem that was going to become evident as soon as Dwayne pulled away. He closed his eyes, agreeing to call Dwayne right away if he ever saw Harvey again.

  “It’s late, and….” Robin pulled the blankets up around himself, wishing he had Dwayne’s strength and the comfort of a home of his own. But that was ridiculous. Dwayne was only being kind to him, and he didn’t need some loser street kid perving on him because he was only being nice.

  “Are you going to be all right?” Dwayne asked, releasing his hug and standing.

  “Of course. Thank you for helping me.”

  Dwayne patted his shoulder, then turned away and switched off the light, plunging the room into darkness. “I’ll see you in the morning.” Dwayne left the room, and Robin listened intently as he moved through his bedroom. Robin imagined the thunk when his heavy boots hit the floor and the soft squeak of bedsprings as Dwayne sat down. Robin knew he should be keeping his errant imagination in check, but the danged thing ran overtime. He closed his eyes as Dwayne left his room to use the bathroom, but once he returned, Robin imagined him undoing the buttons of his shirt and slipping it off his broad shoulders before dropping it on the floor. He wondered if Dwayne was hairy or smooth. He hoped for acres of smooth skin that he could run his hands over and down to Dwayne’s belt.

  There was a chunk, and Robin smiled as Dwayne’s belt hit the floor. Then his imagination took over once more as the image of himself in his head opened Dwayne’s pants and slid them down his legs, displaying hard, firm, round buttcheeks. Robin ran his hands down his own chest and into his briefs and gripped himself hard, keeping his eyes closed. A soft sigh reached Robin’s ears as the lights switched off in the bedroom. He wondered if Dwayne slept naked and, as warm as it was, if he only had a thin sheet over him. Robin’s heart raced as his imaginary Dwayne rolled over, sheet pulled up to his waist, giving Robin a spectacular view of his chest.

  “Good night,” Dwayne said, his voice drifting in from the other room, bursting Robin’s bubble.

  He said good night and rolled over, remembering where he was and why he was here. That was enough to jar him back to reality. His imagination had the last word and took off once again as soon as he closed his eyes and began falling to sleep.

  Chapter Three

  DWAYNE WOKE to a scream and bolted upright in bed, reaching for the light.

  “No…. Let me go! I….”

  He sprang from bed and was out of the room in two seconds. It took that long for his brain to put together that it was Robin doing the yelling. Dwayne reached the sofa, where Robin thrashed and rolled, twisted in the blankets.

  “You’re safe now,” he told Robin, sat next to him, and gently stroked his shoulder. He didn’t want to jar him awake, so he went for softness in his touch and tone.

  “Stay the hell away from me!” Robin jerked away and then gasped as he sat up, still wrapped tightly in the bedding. “What the…?” He looked around, blinking, and then deflated, the rigidity slipping from his body.

  “It was just a dream.”

  Robin shook his head and struggled to get out of the blankets. He was still breathing rapidly, and Dwayne gave him a chance to calm down and get himself under control.

  “I don’t know what happened.” Robin raked his hands down his face, still shaking.

  “You were having a bad dream, that’s all.” Dwayne figured he wasn’t going to make a huge deal about it, even though the things Robin was yelling were pretty disconcerting. “It’s understandable after what happened today.”

  “Yeah.” Robin wiped his eyes and lay back down. “Thanks for checking on me.”

  Dwayne gave him a small smile. “Sure thing.”

  He went back to his room and got under the covers. It wasn’t until he was half-asleep that he realized he’d only been wearing a pair of boxer shorts. Robin had been upset enough he hadn’t seemed to notice, and that was fine. Robin was cute, if a little thin, but even though Dwayne found him incredibly attractive, he was not going to act on it. The last thing Robin needed right now was to be perved on when he was trying to get his life together. He needed a chance to get his feet under him. But dang, Dwayne had gotten a good look at the creamy skin of Robin’s shoulders and chest. He was slim but pretty, and it had taken all Dwayne’s self-control not to pull Robin into his arms and guide him off the sofa and into his bed where he could hold him all night and keep his nightmares at bay.

  Dwayne was exhausted, and closed his eyes, trying to go back to sleep, but all he could think about was Robin lying on his sofa, so close and yet out of bounds.

  DWAYNE EVENTUALLY fell asleep but woke numerous times, trying to hear if Robin had more nightmares. It seemed Robin slept soundlessly the rest of the night, while Dwayne tossed and turned, wishing for things he couldn’t have. It seemed to be his lot in life to find something he might want and either have it taken away or simply have it out of reach for some reason.

  At seven in the morning, he blinked at the clock and groaned. “Robin,” he called as he pushed back the covers. “It’s time to get up so you aren’t late for your appointment.”

  He didn’t get an answer. Dwayne got up and pulled on a pair of pants and a T-shirt, then padded out of his room and to the sofa. He expected to find Robin’s blond head sticking out from the covers, but the bedding had been folded and stacked neatly. His heart raced until the tinkling of dishes drew his attention to the kitchen.

  “I wasn’t sure what you liked to eat, but I figured if it was in your refrigerator, you must like it. So I made some toast with jam and scrambled eggs.” Robin brought two plates to the table, which was already set, and Dwayne sat. Robin carried over two glasses of juice and joined him. “I’m sorry for waking you up last night.”

  “It’s all right.” Dwayne picked up his fork and took a bite of what had to be the worst-tasting eggs he’d ever had. They had been oversalted and were a little runny, but he took another bite and said nothing. Obviously Robin wasn’t a cook. The toast was burned around the edges, but again he said nothing and ate it. “You know that you can’t help it, and sometimes at night the mind mixes things up and puts stuff together again in weird ways.”

  “It wasn’t that.” Robin set down his fork and pushed his plate away. “This is awful.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I never really learned how to cook much, and I guess I thought I’d try to do something nice for you after everything you’ve done for me, but all I did was make a mess.”

  Dwayne finished the eggs and got some jam from the jar. He added it to the toast and crunched into it. Unfortunately the jam did little to hide the scorched bread.

  “It’s fine. Thank you for making it for me.” He drank some of the juice and set the glass back down.

  “It was hideous and you know it. But thank you for being polite about it.” Robin smiled and began taking care of the dishes.

  “Sometimes it’s the effort and thoughtfulness that count,” Dwayne said as he finished his juice. It had been a while since someone was kind to him. As Robin cleaned up, Dwayne watched him move, especially when he bent to throw things away and his pants tightened against his round, pert rear end. Dwayne glanced away in case his thoughts, which were anything but pure, showed on his face when Robin turned around. “You need to get ready to go. We have little more than half an hour before you need to meet Terry.”

  “Okay.” Robin finished and hurried to his boxes of now-clean clothes and retrieved what he wanted to wear.

  Dwayne let him use the bathroom first while he took his glass to the sink. Then he got ready and met Robin in the living room.

  “I found my old lifesaving certificate in among the papers I had.” Robin bounced a little, clearly excited.

  “Do you have a Social Security card and identification?”

  Robin
nodded and patted his back pocket, which drew Dwayne’s attention to that area. He wasn’t able to move for a few seconds.

  “Dwayne?”

  “Let’s go.” He kept his head where it should be and followed Robin down the stairs, locked up, and then headed for his car.

  “This is going to be so great. I didn’t think I’d be using my lifesaving skills again. Not that I knew what sort of job I’d be able to get other than serving food at Panera or McDonald’s.” He walked quickly, swinging a plastic bag back and forth, then slowed down for Dwayne to catch up.

  In a way, Robin was like an excited puppy. No, that was a bad analogy. He was excited and nervous at the same time. Dwayne could easily tell that.

  “If I get this job, then maybe I can get a place of my own.”

  He knew Robin was trying to make plans to get his life back on track, but Dwayne wasn’t in a particular hurry for that to happen. Robin was good company, and he liked having him around. Also, deep down in a place where he was scarcely able to admit it even to himself, Dwayne wanted Robin to notice him as more than just the guy who was trying to help him. But that was all they could be for now. Robin was figuring out who he was and what he wanted to do. It wouldn’t be fair to take advantage of him when he was vulnerable, even though just watching Robin bounce down the street was enough to bring a smile to his face.

  They reached the car, and Robin got in and clicked the seat belt. He was barely able to sit still as Dwayne drove them the mile or so to the Y and parked. Terry met them in the lobby area and escorted them into his office.

  “I didn’t have time to write up a resume, but I did find my certificate.” Robin handed it to him, and Terry in return passed Robin some forms.

  “That’s all right. You can fill out an application instead and then we can talk.” Someone knocked on the door and stuck their head in. Terry stood. “Excuse me. Go ahead and start on the forms. I’ll be right back.” Terry hurried out of the office while Robin started filling out the paperwork. He didn’t get very far.

  “This sucks….” Robin’s hand shook. “I don’t have an address. What should I put, homeless?”

  Dwayne gently patted Robin’s shoulder and dictated his address. Robin wrote it down and continued filling out the form. He was able to answer most of the rest but grew more and more nervous as he continued.

  “What’s getting to you?”

  “This seems so normal, and I suppose it is to everyone else.” Robin hesitated, and Dwayne peered over his shoulder to look. The handwriting was cramped and simplistic, with a few words spelled phonetically rather than correctly. It made Dwayne wonder just how much schooling Robin had had or how effective it had been. He said nothing because Robin was nervous enough already. Robin sighed and bent over the form again. Finally he reached the bottom and signed his name.

  Terry returned after ten minutes and slumped in his chair. He looked over the form and shared a look with Dwayne before asking Robin a few general questions and setting the application aside.

  “Did you bring your suit?”

  “I have some shorts I can use.” Robin held up the plastic bag he’d brought his things in.

  “Okay. The locker room is down the stairs on the right. Go ahead and change, and I’ll meet you in the pool in a few minutes. If I’m not there, go ahead and warm up and we’ll get started.”

  Robin nodded and left the office.

  “Did you see this?” Terry handed Dwayne the application. “He can barely write.”

  “He’s told me some of what happened to him, but I know there’s more to it. My parents weren’t exactly perfect, but imagine being kicked out of your family.”

  “It happens,” Terry said softly.

  “Yes. But I also want to think that there had to be something else. I mean, so he was gay. I think his stepfather just used that as an excuse to get rid of him. He said his mother didn’t stand up for him. So I suspect she hasn’t stood up for him in a lot of ways. School being one of them, from the looks of it. He does have a lifesaving certificate.” He wanted to bring Terry around to what he hoped was important.

  “Yes, he does, and he seems happy to have a chance.” Terry stood and got ready to leave. “I’ll give him one if he has the skills.” He was about to open the door but stopped. “What’s going on between the two of you? Is there anything?”

  “No.”

  “But you want there to be.” Terry sounded like he was having too much fun at the moment. “Come on, I’m not blind. I see the way you look at him.”

  “That doesn’t mean that anything has happened… or will.” Dwayne paused. “But I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t something about him.”

  “He does have that kicked puppy look,” Terry said.

  “Yeah. But there’s more than that. Yes, he’s been beaten down hard, but he’s still got strength and hope. He could hardly sit still in the car on the way over here. He was excited and looking forward to today. He’s been through hell and yet he keeps trying to bounce back. There’s a lot to be said about someone like that.”

  Terry nodded and smiled. “Yes, there is. But that doesn’t change my original question. You like him.”

  “What’s not to like?” Dwayne asked and shrugged, leaving it at that. He followed Terry out of the office to the pool, where Robin was swimming laps from one end to the other.

  “Very nice.” Terry watched him for a few minutes. “Your stroke is very smooth and efficient,” he added once Robin stopped and stood near them, looking at them. “Did you compete?”

  “Yes. At least for a few years in high school. One of the other guys on the team came out of the closet, and then a second one did. My stepfather made me quit. He didn’t say that was the reason at the time. But he probably was afraid I was going to catch the gay from the pool or something.” Robin rolled his eyes. “I love the water.”

  “You swim strongly, and that’s the first part. Let’s see what else you can do.” Terry put Robin through his paces while Dwayne found a seat and watched.

  Robin was truly impressive. Each exercise Terry asked him to do, Robin performed without hesitation or even a question. It looked like he was at home and comfortable there.

  “That’s enough for today. We’ll get your certification renewed so it doesn’t lapse and you’ll be good to go. You definitely have all the skills, and you can start on Friday. I was going to have to cancel the open swim because I only had one lifeguard, but you can be the second.”

  “Awesome.” Robin smiled and slapped the water.

  “Come in on Thursday afternoon, and I’ll sit down with you so we can go over everything and the procedures we use.” It was immediately evident that Terry was more than pleased. He turned to Dwayne. “He’s one hell of a swimmer. It’s too bad he was taken off the team. He has real talent.”

  “Could he compete now if he wanted to?” Dwayne asked as Robin got out of the pool and walked toward the locker room. Dwayne’s gaze followed his navy blue shorts as though they were a flame and Dwayne a moth. When Robin entered the locker room, Dwayne turned to a grinning Terry.

  “I don’t know. That would be up to him. But if he hasn’t trained in a long time, it would be hard for him to get up to speed. It’s a lot easier if you’ve trained regularly. His form is really good, though.” Terry turned as others entered the pool and began swimming laps. “I think it’s best if he decides what he wants. Training for a sport takes dedication, almost to the exclusion of most other things in your life. I used to swim for six to seven hours a day when I was preparing for the Olympics, and that was in addition to working and trying to have time with Red. It wasn’t easy, and I was so lucky Red was there to support me.” He waved to the lifeguards and led Dwayne out of the natatorium.

  “Do you regret the time you spent?” Dwayne asked.

  “No. Because I was lucky and it paid off in a really big way. For everyone like me who trains and works and makes it onto the team and then wins a medal, there are dozens of people who fall short a
t one stage or another. It doesn’t mean I was more dedicated than they were. I was lucky and gifted with a talent for it and maybe had a better coach. If it was only hard work, then winning would be possible for anyone. It’s so much more than just one thing.”

  “I understand that.”

  “Not that I didn’t work hard. I swam my ass off every day for months… years. But other things come into play as well.”

  Dwayne nodded as they headed back to Terry’s office. Robin met them there once he’d changed, his hair still wet, his smile radiant.

  “Was that okay?”

  “You did great,” Dwayne told him and gave him a one-arm hug, sharing in Robin’s excitement.

  “I’ll see you Thursday, and we can do an orientation and introduce you to the other team members. Then on Friday you’ll work your first shift.”

  “Awesome!” Robin could barely stand still.

  “We’d better go, and leave Terry to his meeting.” Dwayne shook hands with Terry, and Robin did the same. Then they left the office and walked through the center and out to the car.

  “This is going to be great. I like the thought of being a lifeguard again and being around the water. Do you think I’ll be able to use the pool when I’m not working?”

  “Ask Terry on Thursday. I don’t know what their rules are, but I suspect it’s fine. Terry has used the pool for training for years. They’re good people.” He unlocked the doors and they got inside. “Let’s get you home and we can dry your things.”

  “Do you work the same shift as yesterday?”

  “Yeah. I’ll go in this afternoon and will be home late tonight.” Second shift really sucked. It was even worse than third because it messed up the day something fierce. At least he didn’t work that shift all the time. He pulled out of the parking lot and turned toward home. “Do you think you could show me the house you saw Harvey come out of last night?”

  “Yeah. The street is a couple blocks up from where you live.” Robin watched out the window as Dwayne headed north through town. When they got close, Robin pointed him in the right direction. He turned onto North Street and continued east, driving slowly. “That’s where he pushed me into the wall, and he was coming out of that house.”