Buried and Shadowed

by Alexandra Ivy

  That was her job, and she didn’t take it lightly.

  So she and Ariel would make plans for those in their care and do their best to make sure their people would be able to breathe freely once more. While the other shifters in the compound would lay the groundwork and do the actual fighting, there were more things to accomplish than that. That’s where she and Ariel came in.

  Hours later, her brain hurt and her back ached, but they had some semblance of a plan. One that could go up in flames in an instant, however, so they would make backups for their backups and include insights from people with more knowledge of the outside world than she had.

  “I’m going back to my place to see how Holden and Gibson are holding up,” Ariel said once they were done for the day. “Do you need anything? Want to come?”

  Mandy shook her head. “No, I’m fine. I might go to the den center to help out there and grab a bite to eat.”

  Ariel frowned. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to go out alone right now. We don’t know who attacked Gibson yet.”

  Mandy sighed. She shouldn’t be surprised that Ariel was being overprotective, but she was.

  “She won’t be alone,” her best friend and sometimes pain in the butt, Theo, said as he walked out of the trees, Holden by his side.

  “You really think I’m going to let my mate walk around alone right now?” Holden asked. He brought Ariel close and kissed her hard.

  Mandy blushed and did her best not to stare, but she couldn’t help it. What would it be like to have someone hold her like that? To know that, no matter what, they were hers?

  Theo wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she stiffened. She tried to hide it, but he saw it. He sighed but didn’t remove his arm. “We were heading over to see if you guys were hungry. Good timing.” He sounded casual, but she knew he was anything but.

  He wanted her as his mate, but her wolf didn’t want the same thing.

  It was something they’d had to deal with since she’d come of age, and yet she knew that if she didn’t do something about it, her wolf might just give up on whom they truly wanted and give in to Theo.

  And that would break her, just a little.

  Not that Theo wasn’t an amazing wolf who cared for her, but he was her best friend. Not her mate. And the fact that he knew that broke him, too.

  It just wasn’t fair that the two she wanted didn’t seem to see her. They weren’t for her at all.

  And this was why she didn’t mate.

  “I’m actually going to see my mate home,” Holden said, his hand firmly on Ariel’s butt. It was a wonder he let his mate out of bed.

  “We’ll go get food, then,” Theo said. “See you.”

  Mandy sighed as she waved goodbye to the others. “You could have asked, you know.”

  Theo looked down at her, a frown on his face as well as a general look of confusion. “What do you mean?”

  She held back another sigh. He just didn’t get it. He was just so dominant and pushy, even when he didn’t think he was being pushy. He never meant anything bad by it, but he also couldn’t help it. If they were truly mates, his wolf wouldn’t automatically push her into a little box of helplessness, but he didn’t see it that way.

  And that’s why they would never mate, even if her wolf tried to give in eventually.

  Mandy wanted better for herself.

  Even if it broke her best friend’s heart.

  “Let’s just head that way,” she said, ignoring his question. He wouldn’t understand anyway. He was only a year older than her, and because of the way his wolf was ranked, he wasn’t as in control as the other males in the den. Meaning, he honestly couldn’t help himself when he did his caveman routine.

  That didn’t mean she was going stand for it every day. It just took her a little while to gain the confidence to speak her mind.

  He put his arm around her shoulders once more and they made their way to the den center. Because of the way the SAU had grouped them, shifters were forced to live relatively close to one another. But instead of infighting and daily challenges that would end in pain and death, they’d created a den they could live in for the time being. Within the den center, there were large meeting places for various groups of shifters, plus food storage and other places that allowed them to survive the long winter months.

  And since some of the maternals loved to cook for large groups of people, there were a couple of café-like places were everyone could grab a bite to eat without having to cook themselves. It worked for Mandy since she tended to burn things if she tried too hard.

  They were almost to the building when the familiar scent of bear and man hit her nose. Her wolf brushed at her, trying to get a look at the man they wanted. Theo’s arm tightened around her shoulders, and she knew his wolf had caught her reaction. Damn shifters and their heightened senses.

  Oliver came out of a group of trees, alone, his head down as he walked back toward his home. She wanted to go to him, to be near him, if only for a moment, but Oliver didn’t even look at her, and Theo’s arm felt like a band around her, keeping her close.

  Then as if in sweet mercy, Oliver looked up at her. He finally looked.

  She met his gaze, the blue of his eyes stark in their need and pain—in their knowing. Mandy inhaled, the intensity of his being almost too much for her, though her wolf wanted to get closer, to see him, to be with him.

  Theo began to pull her away before she could even say a word, when Oliver staggered. Without a second thought, she pulled from her best friend and ran to the bear’s side.

  She pressed her body to his, keeping him upright. “Oliver? Do you need to sit down?”

  He looked down at her, confused, and put his hand on her shoulder. This time, she didn’t want to pull away like she had with Theo. Instead, her wolf slid up close to the surface, needing his touch, craving it.

  They stood there, one of her hands on his chest, the other on his back, and he leaned on her. She didn’t even come up to his shoulders, and yet she knew she was helping at least a little.

  “Thank you,” Oliver said softly, his voice a deep rasp. “I tripped.”

  She tasted the lie, but she let it go. Oh, he might have tripped, but that wasn’t the extent of it. She knew being the Foreseer meant that each vision took a little more out of the person. She wasn’t sure how he handled seeing parts of the future, never knowing if what he saw would come to pass. Yet he did his best, even if he cut himself off from everyone. She rarely saw him within the den center surrounded by people. It was always only in times like these while they passed one another. Always being near, but never too close.

  Only now, she had her hands on him. She was pretty close, all right.

  “Everything okay?” Theo asked as he came close. She could feel the heat of him behind her, but unlike with Oliver, her wolf didn’t press her. If anything, her wolf went toward Oliver even more.

  Oliver looked over her at Theo and frowned. He pulled away from her and sighed. “I’m fine now. Thank you.”

  Theo pulled her toward him then, and she wanted to claw at him, but that wasn’t in her wolf’s nature. When Oliver didn’t reach for her, she let Theo pull her away fully. Damn her wolf. Damn it all.

  Of course, as soon as she thought that, another scent came upon them and she wanted to curse. A wolf.

  Gibson looked like he’d been through hell. Dark circles under his eyes made his skin stand out in stark contrast to the dark of his hair. He looked like he’d lost weight in the day she hadn’t seen him.

  He glanced between the three of them—Oliver, her, and Theo, and frowned just as Oliver had. When his gaze settled on the territorial way Theo held her, she tried to pull away, but Theo was too strong.

  Gibson went up to Oliver’s side and looked at the other man intensely. “Let’s get you home, big guy.”

  “You’re not looking so strong yourself right now, wolf,” Oliver grumbled.

  “Then it’ll take both of us,” Gibson said simply. He turned to Ma
ndy. “I’ve got this. You should go with Theo. Don’t want a dominant wolf all riled up.”

  She blinked at him, annoyed and hurt. He was the Omega now. How could he not feel what she felt? How could he not know that she didn’t want Theo, that she wanted the men before her? Of course, she knew that he couldn’t pull the different emotions between so many people apart yet, but that didn’t matter.

  Her wolf wanted him, wanted Oliver, and yet they pushed her toward Theo.

  She watched the men walk away without another word, her heart breaking. She needed to tell them, needed to show them who she was and find the courage. Because this was killing her.

  Theo hugged her close, and she finally pulled away. It was easier when there weren’t others around; when he wasn’t holding as tightly because his wolf didn’t have to fight for dominance.

  “What was that?” he asked, genuine confusion on his face.

  “I’m not your mate, Theo,” she blurted. His eyes widened. “Stop treating me like I can’t be next to other men.”

  “But…I thought…” Theo’s voice trailed off, and she wanted to kick herself for being so direct.

  “Go to the den center,” she said after a moment. “I need a minute to myself.”

  Theo studied her face. “I’ll walk you back.”

  She opened her mouth to speak, but he shook his head.

  “It’s not safe alone right now,” he said, his voice stern.

  “Theo…”

  “Not now, Mandy.” He sighed. “Not now.”

  Mandy sighed herself, and in awkward silence, walked beside Theo as they went back to her place. She’d changed things, perhaps broken who she and Theo were together, but she wasn’t sure she’d have done it another way.

  Her wolf didn’t want Theo the way his wolf wanted her. It wasn’t fair to either of them, and yet she was afraid she’d wrecked the one friendship that had kept her sane within these den walls.

  When Theo left her alone at her place, she shut the door behind him and sank to the floor. She’d never liked when she couldn’t find the courage to do what she had to do in order to survive and breathe. She’d gone to Oliver’s side when she might not have before, and that was at least a step in the right direction.

  As for hurting Theo’s feelings, she would mend that because that was who she was. But she would make sure he knew what she needed in order to be her.

  She just hoped she hadn’t damaged what they had irrevocably already.

  As for Gibson and Oliver, perhaps it was time for her to show them what being a submissive wolf meant in the grand scheme of things.

  She wouldn’t give up, wouldn’t walk away. But that meant she had to go about things a little differently than she would if she were a dominant wolf. She wouldn’t barge in and demand for them to tell her everything, to show her what she needed.

  But she’d find a way to make something happen.

  Because her Pack was in a state of change, and Mandy was about to change right along with it.

  Chapter 3

  Death clawed at him, digging its talons into his back and soul. Oliver tried to fight off the dark caped soldier of fate but knew that if he didn’t find a way out of the depths of his own subconscious, he would lose.

  Oliver shook himself within the dream that was no dream but found himself trapped. He sighed and took a look around at his surroundings, knowing this could be important once he woke up.

  Tall trees blocked the moonlight from hitting the soft ground below his bare feet. He let out a breath. So he was in the den’s small, forested area, devoid of homes. This was where his people would go on hunts within the den walls to allow their beasts to feel the moon and nature. Though in this vision, the moon wouldn’t help, and it would have to be Oliver alone who got himself out of it.

  Because whatever happened to him within the vision, also happened to his body outside the scope of this dream that wasn’t a dream. That was why with each vision, each glimpse into the future, he knew he was one step closer to death.

  While others thought it was merely the weight of the visions taking their toll that tired him and took from him, that wasn’t all of it. He lived the deaths he saw, lived the pain and torment.

  And if he weren’t as strong as he was—or at least as strong as he once was—he’d have died long ago.

  That was why it was the bear that held the mantle of Foreseer. Ursines possessed the strength to hold off death for as long as possible. The wolves held the Omega, for they were the ones closest to their beasts and hearts, able to comprehend every emotion and trace of empathy. The cats were the wily ones, the ones who held themselves closest to the vest, so they held the Shaman, the magic wielder.

  Oliver was the fate bringer, Gibson the fate soother, and the unknown Shaman of the Felines, the fate changer. Together, they would one day be able to bring pure health and depth within the Pack. Without each facet, the way the bonds of those they led, those they followed would never be whole.

  Of course, Oliver had been alone far too long with his duties, and they had taken their toll. Maybe now that Gibson had found his true calling things would change, but he wasn’t so sure. The wolf was too far gone down his own path of what he thought he would be, and Oliver couldn’t hold the mantle forever.

  And they didn’t have their Shaman to complete the circle.

  A growl sounded within his vision and he turned toward it, knowing he needed to get his head out of musings of what the future could bring and into this future.

  The vision darkened, and he did his best to focus. Things weren’t always easy to understand within the foggy darkness that was his mind during a new scene.

  He blinked as his nephews, Anya and Cole’s cubs, Lucas and Owen, ran through the clearing, their panicked growls hitting his gut like a lead hammer. He ran toward them, but the trees spread out around him, blocking him from the little boys. Cole jumped out of a tree then, blood coating his fur as he fought off a dark enemy.

  Oliver couldn’t see who it was, only that it wasn’t human. Whoever would put his family in danger was a shifter, and that put Oliver on edge. His body shifted into his bear, his hump rising, his jaw unhinging as he roared.

  He went to Cole’s side, trying to help, but couldn’t reach him, the darkness overtaking him once more.

  Oliver blinked, and instead of Cole and the cubs in front of him, two wolves fought, back to back. Or rather, one wolf battled and the other limped behind while they tried to keep the fighting wolf’s back safe from whoever attacked them.

  Oliver inhaled and staggered on four paws. Mandy was hurt, and even though she was a submissive wolf, she was doing her best to protect Gibson. The male wolf, Gibson, fought with his heart, but it wasn’t enough against the onslaught of so many of their enemies.

  Oliver ran toward them, desperate to save them, but it was too late. Something pierced his side, a fiery pain arching over his chest and through his body. He roared again, and this time, it ended on a scream.

  He woke up in his bed, alone and sweaty, the scent of Gibson and Mandy coating his skin.

  He let out a shaky breath and swallowed the bile in his throat. Why could he scent those two as if they had been here instead of just in his vision? He’d never had that happen before. In fact, he wasn’t sure he’d ever had such a clear vision of shifters that were not bear before.

  His bear needed air, and so did he.

  Oliver stripped off his sheets and sighed. He’d need to wash them again since he’d sweated through the lot. That had been happening more and more often lately. At least the bright side this time was that he wouldn’t have to face Anya’s worried stares anymore. Now that she’d moved into Cole’s place with the boys, Oliver was alone to hide his shame and the evidence of his declining health.

  It was hard enough knowing he was dying inch-by-inch, vision-by-vision, without having to break his sister’s heart in the process.

  He quickly put his sheets and pajama bottoms in the ancient washing machine he shared with
a few other shifters. Though he lived alone, he did his best to share what he had. It wasn’t easy when the SAU kept moving them around on a whim, but Oliver wouldn’t let others be inconvenienced because he needed more…things than others because of his role in the Pack.

  Instead of going outside right away, he jumped in the shower and set the spray to cold. He’d want another shower later, and he might as well wash off the sweat and not waste the meager hot water he had.

  He quickly soaped up, doing his best to push the visions from his brain just for the moment. Of course, it was never as easy as that, and he couldn’t get thoughts of Gibson and Mandy out of his head. Despite the frigid water temperature, his cock hardened at the thought of them.

  His bear wanted them both, and frankly, so did the man. If he weren’t such a bad bet, he might have done something about it. With how few shifters there were within the den walls, even if they were in tight quarters, it wasn’t uncommon for triads to develop. Hell, it hadn’t been that uncommon twenty-five years ago when they lived in secret amid the human population.

  And though it wouldn’t make others bat an eye at the sight, he knew he couldn’t have both of them. Mandy was so sweet, so innocent, and from what he’d seen, in the sights of another wolf. Theo.

  And Gibson…Gibson wasn’t for him. Even before he’d become the Omega, he was too remote, too self-sacrificing to be with a Foreseer. The wolf needed to be with someone who was whole since he gave so much of himself.

  And that wasn’t Oliver.

  He sighed, but his cock didn’t seem to pay attention. And because of that, he gripped himself, using soap to make lather as he squeezed the base. It wouldn’t be wrong if he thought of them while doing this…as long as they didn’t know. People fantasized about others while getting themselves off all the time.

  And if this had been the first time he’d done it, he might have believed that. Yet Oliver knew he’d crossed that line weeks ago. So now, as he pumped his fist and rocked his hips, he would do what he had to do, what he needed to do, and live with the consequences.