Buried and Shadowed

by Alexandra Ivy

  He stood, framed by her front door, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his brow furrowed. Just a few days before, she would have gone to him and hugged him in greeting. His wolf felt so lost and confused that it only made her wolf want to comfort. That was what she did, how she lived, how she breathed. The fact that she couldn’t do that because she’d broken something between them ached.

  But it wasn’t a few days ago, and things had shifted between them. She hadn’t wanted to lose Theo in the process of finding herself, of finding a future where she could be whole and survive, perhaps thrive in, but it seemed that choice might be out of her hands.

  She hoped they were both strong enough to stay friends. Because while she wanted Oliver and Gibson in her life, it was Theo who had been there for her when she’d had no one.

  Mandy shouldn’t have to make a choice, and yet things were never as they were in dreams.

  “Hi,” she said finally. Awkwardness settled between them and she shifted from foot to foot. If she’d been in wolf form, her tail would have been firmly tucked between her legs.

  “I’m sorry for walking out like I did,” he said finally before closing the door behind him. He let out a breath, his jaw set, but the sadness in his eyes was a mark on her soul.

  “I’m sorry you felt like you had to walk away.” That wasn’t a true apology and she knew it. Only she didn’t feel like she should apologize for feeling what she did.

  She moved toward him then, keeping her hands close to her body so she didn’t accidentally touch him. They were wolves, tactile creatures and used to touch, yet she knew she couldn’t reach for him then, even for a hug, without giving him the wrong impression.

  Theo must have seen her indecision. He snorted. “I never asked you, you know.”

  She tilted her head. “What?”

  “I never asked you if we could be mates. I just assumed. And I guess that makes an ass out of me, huh?” He said it dryly, but she felt the heat behind the words. She wasn’t sure if he was angry with her or himself, but either way, this wasn’t what they used to have and it worried her.

  “Theo…”

  He shook his head. “No, it’s on me. I get it. I just thought…” He sighed. “I thought we would make it through all of this, this war, this uprising… Together, you know? But I guess I was wrong.”

  “I don’t want to lose you, Theo.”

  He gave her a sad smile. “You never really had me, it seems.”

  Annoyance filled her. “Stop it. What is wrong with you? We were friends. Best friends. And yet now that I’m finally honest with myself, you’re going to be like this? Your wolf doesn’t want me, Theo. You just thought you did because you didn’t have anyone else. You’ll find your mate. I promise.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Like you found Oliver and Gibson?” At her pause, he shook his head. “You can’t hide things like that in a den this small. I can’t say I’m happy for you, not yet, and that makes me an asshole. But as long as you’re safe, that’s all that matters.”

  Mandy sighed. “Mates aren’t just supposed to protect each other. There’s more to it.”

  “And, apparently, we didn’t have that.” He held up his hands. “I didn’t come here to fight. Only to say I need some space.”

  She pressed her lips together.

  “I get that that makes me an idiot. An unfair one. But I need some space to think about what I want and what I thought I wanted for that matter. You have Oliver and Gibson now. You’ll be busy.”

  That was a low blow, and she raised her chin, not meeting his eyes. Her wolf wouldn’t let her, and it galled her that the other half of herself worked against her. Maybe if she’d been a dominant wolf, she’d have been able to navigate the muddy waters of who she and Theo were without hurting either of them, but that wasn’t the case and she would have to learn to deal.

  “If that’s what you feel like you need to do. But remember this, Theo. We’ve been best friends since we could crawl. If you’re going to throw that all away because you’re not getting what you want, then maybe you need to think about the relationships in your life.” She pressed her lips together once more, forcing herself not to say anything more because she wouldn’t be able to take it back.

  He studied her face a long moment before sighing. “I want you happy, Mandy. That’s all I ever wanted.”

  She blinked up at him. “I think I can be happy this way, for what it’s worth.”

  Theo gave her a slight nod. “I’ll…I’ll be back later, I guess. Just stay safe, okay? We still don’t know what happened to Gibson, and the SAU guards are being suspiciously quiet since the higher-ups disappeared. Something’s off, and I don’t like it.”

  Something was off about a lot of things, and no, Mandy didn’t like it either.

  “I’ll stay safe,” she promised. At his look, she shrugged. “I’ll try to. Is that more honest?”

  He gave her a tight nod before turning away and leaving her home. She swallowed hard, her hands shaking at her sides. She hated confrontation, and yet she seemed to be dong a lot of that recently. Mandy ran her hands over her face, knowing she needed to get back to work or she’d go crazy. Oliver and Gibson would be over eventually, and while she was alone now, she wouldn’t be for long. Because of the way the bears and cats had been forced into the den, she now had three roommates, all submissive female wolves who were on shifts in the den center.

  Oliver and Gibson were the important ones and had homes of their own. And she needed to kick herself. I’m important, too, she told herself once more. She was. And those who didn’t see that, didn’t understand that, were the ones lacking.

  However, exploring a relationship with two men would probably be easier at their places rather than hers. She might be alone for the moment, but she wouldn’t be for long.

  She made herself a cup of tea, using some of the blend that Soren had snuck into the den, and was about to get to work when someone knocked on the door. She turned toward the sound and inhaled, a small smile playing on her lips after she caught the scent of the wolf and bear who filled her dreams.

  She left her tea cooling on her shabby dining room table next to her notebooks and made her way to the front door to let them in. It wasn’t lost on her that Theo had walked in without knocking, and yet these two were cautious, respectful of her space. Theo had earned the right to come in when he felt like it long ago, and yet she had a feeling that might change now. It hurt, but she would learn to deal. It was what she always did.

  As for Gibson and Oliver, the way they knocked on her door rather than making themselves at home would change, as well. Everything in her life seemed to be changing, emotions long since buried making their way to the tip of her fingers, to her heart, to her entire being.

  When she opened the door, she had to keep herself from sucking in a breath. It wasn’t fair that these two were so good-looking. Oliver had pulled his chestnut hair back in a band, but his beard touched the top of his chest. Gibson’s dark brown hair brushed the tops of his shoulders and covered his eyes a bit until he brushed it back. The action sent shivers through her since his biceps bunched just right with the movement. He had more scruff than beard, and she loved the look of them both. If this worked out, she would be one lucky wolf.

  “Hi,” she breathed and wanted to shake herself. She could do better than that. “Want to come in? I thought you two were resting.”

  Oliver tilted his head to study her, and Gibson ran a hand over his heart. “What happened when we were gone?” the bear asked.

  “You’re hurting,” Gibson added softly.

  Well, crud. Apparently, being with the Omega and a very observant Foreseer meant she’d have to be careful with every emotion. Some things were meant to be her own until she could work through them.

  “I’ll be okay,” she said and put up both of her hands. “Let’s just leave it at that for now. I need to work through a few things and then I can talk about it.”

  “If that’s what you want,” Oliver said
, his voice low.

  Gibson shifted from foot to foot. “Yeah, sorry about that. I’m still getting used to all of these things. I don’t know how I’m supposed to help people eventually when right now it feels like all I’m doing is intruding.”

  Mandy sighed. “We’ll find a balance. Now, do you want to come in? Or do you plan to occupy my porch until my roommates come home.”

  Oliver’s eyes flared. “I forget you have roommates sometimes.”

  “It can’t be helped,” she said simply.

  “That much I know,” Gibson said after a moment. “We’re actually here to take you to the den center. Holden wants a meeting.”

  “Why didn’t I hear about it?” she asked. “And why would I need to go unless it’s for the entire den. I don’t usually attend high-ranking meetings like that.”

  “It’s for most of the den,” Gibson answered. “And we’re here to ask you to go, hence why you’re just hearing about it now. It wasn’t a planned thing. And since I’m going, well, they want you there, as well.” He paused. “Actually, I think you might have been invited anyway. You’re more than you think you are, Mandy.”

  She studied his face and nodded. “Okay, then. Let me put on some shoes.” She wasn’t sure what had gotten into her recently, but she didn’t like that she continually doubted herself. She was proud of her place in the Pack. She was needed and accepted. Yet as soon as she thought of herself next to these invaluable men, she kept putting herself down.

  That needed to stop, and yet she wasn’t sure how considering she didn’t know why she kept doing it in the first place.

  When she stepped out onto the porch with them, Oliver stopped her by cupping her face. “What is it?” she asked.

  “You are far more important to us, to the Pack, to yourself than you give yourself credit for,” the big bear whispered. “I wish you would see that.”

  Gibson gripped her hip from behind and leaned forward, his lips near her ear, the warmth of his breath sending shivers down her spine. “We see you, Mandy. We always have. We might have stayed away for our own reasons, but it was never because you weren’t worthy. You’re more than all of us. You’re the glue, the reason our beasts can breathe. You might not go to war rooms and fight in the battles that leave us bloody, but that doesn’t mean you’re pushed to the sidelines. Just remember that, okay?”

  Tears filled her eyes and she nodded. Oliver lowered his head then, brushing his lips against hers, once, twice. “Good,” he whispered.

  He pulled away, and Gibson cupped her jaw and tilted her head toward his, capturing her lips with a kiss of his own. “We’ll keep saying things along those lines until you start to believe it.”

  She sniffed, annoyed with herself for getting so emotional. “I used to,” she said honestly.

  “And then things shifted,” Oliver said. “It’s shifting for all of us, but we’ll get through it together. That’s why we’re here, after all.”

  “Now let’s head to the den center before Holden and the other Alphas get annoyed.”

  “The other Alphas will be there?” she asked then winced. “Well, duh, since Oliver is going and his Alpha isn’t Holden.”

  Gibson smiled softly and took her hand. Oliver took the other, and they started down the path toward the den center. “It’s confusing with the three Alphas who have to work as one. And with all of us mating each other, bear, cat, and wolf, it alters the politics.”

  “What does that mean?” she asked, fear slowly filling her. “I remember some of the elders telling me that before the Verona Virus hit, the Packs would mate with one another and then the couple or triad would choose which Pack to align themselves with. But you’re an Omega, and Oliver’s the Foreseer, it’s not like the two of you can switch.”

  They both squeezed her hands, but she couldn’t relax her wolf.

  “There have been times when mates are from different Packs and remain that way for reasons of their own,” Oliver answered. “We are not the first to deal with this. If I remember correctly, there was once a bear, cat, wolf triad.” He smiled at that. “The politics in that would have been far more complex than what we’re dealing with.”

  She relaxed somewhat, but not enough. “If you say so.”

  “I do,” Oliver said.

  She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped as the scent of death hit her.

  “Shit,” Gibson hissed and pulled Mandy behind him. She didn’t stop him since she wasn’t a fighter, but it galled her that she couldn’t help against whatever was coming.

  “What is it?” she whispered. “Who is it?”

  Oliver moved forward and lifted a fallen branch, letting out a curse of his own when he revealed the source of the scent.

  Mandy peered around Gibson and let out a gasp. “Oh, God, it’s Claire.”

  Claire had once been with Holden, their Alpha, but never as a mate. That hadn’t sat well with the female wolf, and she’d done all she could to gain the power needed to be worthy of Holden. Yet that’s not what the male wolf had wanted at all. Instead, he’d fallen for a human-turned-wolf, and had mated Ariel soon after they’d met. Claire hadn’t taken it well at all—an understatement to be sure. She’d ended up telling the SAU how Ariel had come to be part of the Pack, starting the series of events that had led to the internal war they were in the middle of now.

  Humans hadn’t known how shifters were made until Claire had spilled the truth. She hadn’t thought beyond her needs, and had endangered them all. Instead of thinking shifters were only born, not made, humans now had another reason to take shifters, to study them. They had even tried to make shifters of their own using kidnapped Pack members, and when that hadn’t worked, they’d gone so far as to take Anya’s two bear cubs.

  The SAU was now crumbling from within because their manic experiments had failed, but countless lives had been lost in the process. The Unseen were working on their own path to free themselves from secrecy and liberate those with brands and collars from their own fate, but it wasn’t easy. And frankly, Mandy didn’t even know all of it.

  Claire hadn’t been sentenced to death by Ariel because the Alpha’s mate had wanted Claire to see all the pain she’d caused. Yet it seemed death had found her nonetheless.

  “We need to find Holden,” Gibson muttered.

  “No need,” Holden said from behind them.

  Mandy turned at the sound of her Alpha’s voice and lowered her eyes.

  “I can’t scent anything on the body,” Oliver said suddenly. “How can that be? I only scent death and Claire.”

  Cole came out of the shadows then, the feline Tracker and the shifter with the best sense of smell in the den. He crouched over the body and inhaled, letting out a curse of his own. “You’re right, Oliver. The scent of whoever did this is muted, much like it was when Gibson got hurt.” He narrowed his eyes. “Someone is playing games.”

  Mandy gripped Gibson’s hand at the memory of his injury. She looked up at him and wanted to curse herself. “We need to get you out of here,” she whispered.

  “I’m fine,” he bit out, his face pale. There were too many people feeling intensely. He had to be in pain, but he wouldn’t leave, not yet. Damn wolf.

  “You know what else is missing?” Oliver said, his voice low. “Where are the SAU guards? They weren’t here for Gibson, and they are mysteriously absent now. The scent might be of shifter on Claire and Gibson before, sure muted, but shifter nonetheless. Yet the SAU isn’t here.”

  Mandy narrowed her eyes. “If the SAU is going through issues of their own, it might mean they haven’t noticed,” she said and lowered her head as all eyes turned to her.

  “You’re right, little wolf,” Holden said, his voice low but anything but calm. “It seems we’re in the center of two storms.”

  And what would happen when the storms fully collided? Mandy wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

  Chapter 6

  Oliver rested his head in his hands; his forearms steady on his thighs as he sat in his
large oak chair. His body ached from lack of sleep, and frankly, lack of release, and yet he couldn’t think about that now. What he should be doing is trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with his visions and why he couldn’t see beyond the misty tendrils of death and into what would actually come to be.

  He hadn’t seen Gibson’s injury.

  He hadn’t seen Claire’s death.

  And he sure as hell hadn’t seen Gibson and Mandy in his life.

  He could still see the wide, vacant eyes of Claire as she stared blankly at the sky; her body cold and covered in cuts and bruises. There wasn’t a single claw mark on her, worrying him more than it should. If a shifter had been angry enough with Claire for what she’d done to the den or for another reason, he would have thought they’d have used claws and teeth to kill her.

  Instead, someone had used a knife to slowly bleed away her life. He might not have liked Claire, nor the decisions she’d made in the heat of the moment, but she hadn’t deserved to die the way she had. The fact that Holden, Soren, and Gibson hadn’t felt her die along Pack bonds told Oliver that there was something going on far beyond a grudge against a woman who had made a terrible mistake.

  Yes, it could have been the SAU that had taken her life and even hurt Gibson, yet Oliver wasn’t sure. That wouldn’t explain the hidden severed bonds and shifter scent on the body. The fact that it was a muted scent so no one could tell what kind of shifter it was, let alone who it was, meant this went far deeper than a guard with a knife.

  Only he couldn’t figure it out, and his body hurt from vision after vision. Visions that didn’t seem to be helping anyone. All they did was take a little bit more out of him and keep him up at night.