Lean On Me

by Tori Scott

  The day before she and Hunter were due to leave for their weekend at the cabin, Brenda shooed Sandy off from the center two hours early, telling her to go get ready for her weekend.

  Her mind was on Hunter and the days ahead as she turned on to her street. The sight that greeted her made her heart seize.

  Melanie was riding down the sidewalk on a brand new, cherry red tricycle. Jason and Hunter walked protectively on either side of her, but Sandy barely noticed them. All she could see was a replay of the day almost two months earlier, when her daughter lay unconscious in the street, a mangled tricycle resting against the opposite curb.

  She vaguely remembered Hunter saying something about replacing the trike, but she also remembered telling him quite clearly that was not going to happen. She pulled to the curb several houses away and put the car in park. Then she dropped her head against the steering wheel, sucking in huge gulps of air to ward off the panic attack that threatened to overwhelm her.

  When would she learn? Men were all the same. Some just managed to hide it better and for longer periods of time than others. She'd thought Hunter was the one man in the world who could value her, who understood she was capable of making rational decisions and sticking to them. But here he was, just like her dad, just like Todd, casting off her decisions as worthless and replacing them with what he thought best.

  She wasn't a child who didn't know better, or an insecure wife who could be coerced into believing she was wrong. She was Melanie's mother, and would continue to be long after Jason and Hunter were no longer a part of their lives. Which would be very soon.

  When her heart no longer hammered in her chest and her hands no longer visibly shook, Sandy put her car in gear and drove the short distance to her house. She pulled to the curb in front, afraid to cross the sidewalk with her vehicle as long as Melanie was riding.

  Melanie looked up when the car door slammed. "Look, Mommy. I'm riding. My leg's all better and so's my tricycle."

  "That's fine, Melanie. Would you please go in the house now so I can talk to Hunter? Jason, would you go with her, please?"

  She saw the two males exchange wary glances, then Jason tried to get Melanie to go with him. Her daughter threw a very unladylike fit. Jason finally picked her up and carried her, kicking and screaming, into the house, closing the door behind them.

  Sandy turned to Hunter. "Just what in the hell do you think you're doing? Who gave you permission to buy that death trap for my daughter? Did you even bother to ask me? No, you just ignored my wishes and bought it anyway."

  "Now, Sandy. Be reasonable," Hunter interrupted.

  "Reasonable, my…foot. Tell me what's reasonable about a man, who is no relation to my daughter, going over my head and buying something that I expressly forbid him to buy. That tells me you don't care what I think, Hunter. My opinions have no merit. The big strong man knows better than the little woman. Well, if you were looking for a way out of this relationship, you found it. We're through, Hunter Thurman."

  "Sandy, please. You don't mean that."

  Her voice rose to a screech. "I don't mean that. How do you know what I mean? Can you read my mind now? One thing you'd better get straight, Mister Thurman, is that I always say what I mean. You've deliberately put my daughter in danger. You've overridden my decisions, and belittled my opinions."

  Sandy knew she was overreacting, could hear the tinge of hysteria in her voice, but she couldn't stop. This was her baby's life she was fighting for. "I don't want you near me or my daughter, do you hear me? We were doing just fine before you came along."

  Hunter flinched as the words struck him, but his voice was deadly calm when he said, "Fine. If that's the way you feel, it's a good thing it's out in the open now. I could never live with a woman who allowed her life to be ruled by fear. I've been through that and I don't intend to repeat the experience," he said, his hazel eyes clouded with pain. "But how can you believe that I would put Melanie in danger? I love that kid. She's the daughter I never had. Don't you know I would die rather than hurt her?"

  Sandy wrapped her arms tightly around her waist and shook her head. "What about me, Hunter? Don't you think this hurts me? You said I could trust you. And look where it got me."

  "Yeah, let's look where it got you. You have a beautiful daughter, a teenage boy who adores you, and a man who loved you. Now, you toss us away like yesterday's garbage. You haven't even stopped to think about what you're doing to those two, have you?" He waved toward the house, and she looked up to see Melanie, her nose pressed against the window and tears streaming down her face. Jason stood beside her with his arm around her shoulder, his face pale and worried.

  "I'm sorry, but you should have thought about the consequences before you bought that blasted tricycle. You should have thought, period. Good-bye, Hunter."

  She turned on her heel and stormed into the house, slamming the door behind her. Hunter stood where she'd left him, shell-shocked and confused. He still didn't understand exactly what he'd done wrong. Melanie had been thrilled with the tricycle. He'd been worried that she would be afraid of it, even though she still didn't remember the accident.

  He'd been so proud of her when she'd climbed right on and started pedaling. She'd had to take it easy, go slowly because her muscles weren't completely back to normal. But she'd climbed on the tricycle, not worried that it might hurt. Not afraid to get back on and ride. He couldn't have been any prouder if she'd been his own daughter.

  And in a few more weeks, she might have been. He'd planned to propose to Sandy this weekend. Everything was set up at the cabin. Lillian had worked for days to put all of his plans in motion. She'd been so excited, so willing to help, but now it was all for nothing. Sick at heart, he picked up the tricycle and carried it to his garage.

  Jason came home a few minutes later. He walked into the living room, where he found his father slumped in the recliner. "Dad?"

  Hunter opened his eyes and looked at his son. Jason looked as miserable as Hunter felt. "Yeah?"

  "What happened? Why was she so mad?"

  "Well, son. I blew it. Again."

  Jason dropped onto the couch across from Hunter. "I kinda figured that part out for myself. What did you do?"

  "I bought that tricycle after Sandy told me not to. But I really thought that was just a reaction to the accident, and she hadn't said anymore about it since Melanie came home from the hospital, so I figured she'd gotten over it."

  "I guess she hasn't, because she was fuming when she came in the house. She even made Melanie go to her room when she wouldn't stop crying. I've never seen her like that. Sandy, I mean. She's usually real patient with Melanie."

  "Maybe if we just leave them alone for a while she'll get over it. See she's overreacting. Maybe she just had a bad day, and this was the last straw."

  Jason shook his head vehemently. "Dad, I don't think that's a good idea. You two need to talk about this. Isn't that what you tell me every time I go to counseling? Problems don't go away if you ignore them. How many times have I heard that in the last six months?"

  "Yeah, I know. But this is different," Hunter said. "She doesn't want to see me again. I'm not sure you'll be welcome over there either."

  "She can't do that," Jason said as he stood and paced the rug. "Melanie needs me. And you and Sandy are perfect for each other. In fact, we'd hoped that maybe…well, that maybe you two would get married and we'd be a family. You've got to talk to Sandy, Dad. Apologize. Please?" He looked at Hunter, tears in his eyes.

  "I'm sorry Jason, but I don't think that's going to help. She has problems I can't overcome. And I'm not sure I want to anymore. Try to understand, son. Your mother did something to you while I was gone on those missions. I don't know exactly what, since neither you nor the counselor have let me in on your conversations, but I think she put a lot of her fears on your shoulders. I can't be with a woman who does that to her child."

  "But Dad, Sandy isn't like Mom was. She's scared right now, but she isn't like that all the time.
"

  "I know. I'm just hurt right now. But Sandy sounded like she meant what she said. She doesn't want to see me anymore and I can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do. So the best thing for us to do is go on the way we've been doing. Just the two of us."

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Sandy threw clothes into the suitcase, not caring that they would be wrinkled and creased by the time she reached her parents' house. She'd decided that it wasn't fair to cancel Melanie's visit since her mom and dad had been looking forward to it for three weeks. The only change in plans was that she would be staying the weekend with them, too.

  Melanie was sulky and uncooperative, refusing to pick out her clothes or choose a toy to take with her. Sandy made the choices herself and added them to the suitcase. She let Melanie pout in her room while she tended to her houseplants and checked the locks on windows and doors.

  She loaded the suitcase into the car, then went inside to get her daughter. Melanie was still pouting, but she allowed Sandy to buckle her into the car seat without protest. With a last glance toward Hunter's house, she drove away.

  During the two-hour drive, Sandy had plenty of time to think. How dare he do something like that? It was a good thing she'd found out what he was really like before she'd made another mistake. Todd hadn't shown his true colors until after they were married, and by then it had been too late. She'd hated having to admit she'd made a mistake, and she hadn't been strong enough or confident enough in herself to leave him.

  Well, she was a lot stronger now, thanks to the experiences life had given her. She didn't need a man in her life. Although, for a while, it had been nice to have someone to lean on, someone to laugh with. Someone to make love with. No, scratch that last thought. She didn't regret having sex with Hunter, but it was something she wasn't going to repeat.

  "Mommy?" Melanie asked from the back seat.

  "Yeah, baby?"

  "Are you still mad at me?"

  Sandy glanced in the rear-view mirror and met her daughter's sad eyes. "Honey, I wasn't mad at you. I was mad at Hunter. You just scared me."

  "Why, Mommy? I was just riding my tricycle. You weren't ever scared before."

  "Because I don't want you to get hurt again, Melanie. I don't think I could stand to go through that again. And you caught me by surprise. I wasn't expecting to see you riding. Hunter didn't tell me he was buying a new trike."

  "I was practicing so I could show you my leg was all better. It was s'posed to be a s'prise."

  "I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean to spoil it. I guess I just wasn't ready for it. Anyway, we're almost to Grandma and Grampa's. We'll have fun this weekend. You'll see."

  "Mommy, how come Jason couldn't come with us?"

  "Because he has things to do with his daddy. Jason's almost a grown-up, Melanie. He doesn't have time to play with little girls all the time."

  Sandy glanced in the mirror again and saw that Melanie had her eyes closed. She couldn't tell if her daughter was asleep or just avoiding her gaze. She turned her attention back to her driving. Hopefully, Melanie would forget about Jason soon. Kids bounced back from disappointments a lot more easily than adults.

  Sandy didn't intend to prevent Jason from seeing Melanie. Just because she and Hunter had parted ways didn't mean the kids had to. But she wasn't sure how Jason would feel about coming over to visit. She knew the kids had hoped she and Hunter would get married. Sandy had figured that much out. She was sorry they'd been caught in the middle of her breakup with Hunter, but there was nothing she could do about it now.

  ***

  When she pulled into her parents' driveway, her mom and dad were waiting on the front porch. She lifted Melanie out of the back seat and handed her to her father, then retrieved her suitcase from the trunk. With a subdued greeting for her mother, Sandy went into the house and headed straight for her old room.

  When her mother came up behind her, Sandy asked, "Why haven't you redone this room? Couldn't you use it for an office or sewing room?"

  "Oh, I suppose we could. We just always hoped to have grandchildren coming to visit and wanted to have enough beds for them. Of course, since Ryan has never married, and Denise lives so far away, it looks like Melanie might be the only one to need it for a while."

  Sandy took in her mother's wistful expression and felt guilty for keeping Melanie to herself so much. It seemed she wasn't the only one who had been hurt by the events of the past. She'd inflicted some pain herself.

  "I'm sorry, Mom," she said as she gave Lillian a hug. "I was wrong to keep Melanie away so long. I promise we'll come to visit often from now on. And just wait. The love bug will bite Ryan one of these days, you'll see."

  "I don't know. He seems determined to keep on the move so he doesn't have to take the chance. I wish…well, never mind. My father used to say 'If wishes were fishes, we'd have 'em fried' and I guess he was right. I'm just so glad to have a chance to spend the weekend with Melanie."

  "Um, Mom, I'm staying, too. Is that all right?"

  Lillian looked surprised, then recovered quickly and said, "Of course, dear. You're always welcome. But I thought you were going out of town for the weekend. What happened?"

  Sandy's eyes filled with tears and they began to spill over onto her cheeks. She shook her head, unable to speak. The anger had sustained her during the two-hour drive to Tyler, but now it was replaced by the anguish of another loss. Only this hurt so much more than any other she had ever experienced.

  Lillian pulled Sandy into her arms and held her close, soothing her as she would a small child. "What happened to cause all this? You seemed so happy the last time we saw you. Has something happened between you and Hunter?"

  Sandy nodded against her mother's shoulder, then took a deep calming breath. "I b-broke up w-with him," she stuttered."

  "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. Do you want to talk about it?If you don't, I'll understand, but sometimes it helps."

  Sandy pulled back from her mother's arms and sat on the edge of the bed. She picked up the edge of the old cornflower-blue bedspread and used it to wipe her eyes. "He bought Melanie a tricycle! Can you believe that? I thought he was different, that he really cared, and then he did something like that. So I told him I never wanted to see him again."

  Lillian remained silent until Sandy finally looked at her. The puzzlement on her mother's face was easy to read. "I don't think I understand the problem. You broke up because he gave Melanie a gift?"

  "Mom, it wasn't just any gift. It was a tricycle! Why couldn't he have bought her a doll or a new game? I told him not to buy one, back when Melanie was in the hospital. Did he listen? Of course not. He decided he knew best and went ahead and did it."

  "I take it you don't want her to have another one? Why not?"

  "Don't you understand? That tricycle almost got her killed. I couldn't bear to go through that again." Sandy stood and paced the small room, passing back and forth between the canopy bed and old oak dresser. "I came home today and found Melanie riding down the sidewalk. I nearly jumped out of my skin. I told Hunter exactly what I thought of him, going behind my back that way. Then I left and came here. I don't want to be home by myself this weekend, in case he tries to talk to me. I don't ever want to speak to him again!"

  Lillian looked thoughtful for a moment, then said, "Sandy, sit down." When she complied, Lillian reached out and picked up her left hand. "Do you remember when you smashed your wrist in third grade?" She waited until Sandy nodded before she continued.

  "You were roller skating on the driveway with Denise when you hit a pebble, which made your skate stop suddenly. You went flying head over heels into the street. The whole time you were in surgery, I kept thinking, 'what if?' What if there had been a car speeding down the street? What if you'd landed differently and had broken your neck instead? What if you'd died?"

  "When you were in the operating room, the hospital chaplain came by. We talked for a while, and I told him what I just told you, about those thoughts that wouldn't go away. He
said something I never forgot. He quoted Herodotus, who said 'It is better by noble boldness to run the risk of being subject to half the evils we anticipate than to remain in cowardly listlessness for fear of what might happen.' I realized I couldn't live my life in fear of what might happen to my children."

  Lillian walked to the window and pulled back the curtain. "Matthew 6:34 says 'So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' I've always found that to be a good way to live."

  Sandy wiped at the tears on her face, but more replaced the ones she wiped away. "But it's so hard to let someone you love take chances. I don't know if I'm strong enough."

  "Where are you going to draw the line, Sandy? Will you let her learn to ride a bicycle? Drive a car? Go out on a date? Get married? Life is full of danger. You can't protect Melanie every minute. All you can do is love her, pray for her, and let her grow."

  Lillian looked out the window, silent for a moment. "Do you remember what you did as soon as you got the cast off your arm?"

  Sandy thought for a moment, then gave her mother a watery smile. "Yeah. I came in and put on my roller skates."

  "That's right, you did. And do you remember what I did before I let you skate down the driveway?"

  "You got a broom and swept the entire driveway to be sure there weren't any pebbles left on it. I'd forgotten about that." It seems I've forgotten about a lot of things. The times she picked me up when I was hurt, tended my wounds, and sent me right back out to play. The way she swallowed her own fears to let me try my wings.

  Sensing Sandy needed some time alone to think, Lillian kissed her daughter softly on the cheek and left the room, pulling the door closed behind her.

  ***

  Jason knew he had to do something. He'd failed his mother, but he wasn't going to fail Melanie, or his dad. There had to be some way to get Sandy and his dad together, alone someplace where they'd have to talk. He'd overheard them talking about going to a cabin somewhere, one that belonged to Sandy's parents. If only he could figure out how to get them both there without either of them knowing the other was coming.