by Mandy Baggot
Cole laughed.
‘So, what did you say?’ Robyn asked, setting off again with the cart.
‘What?’
‘To Veronica.’
‘I told her I didn’t want to talk and I didn’t want her contacting me again,’ Cole replied.
‘Nice work—oh dear, doesn’t sound like that idea worked for her,’ Robyn said as Cole’s phone announced the arrival of a new text.
‘Pasta,’ Cole said, grabbing a package from the shelf and putting it in the cart.
‘You have pasta at home. Do you go through a bag a week or something? Well?’
‘Well what?’
‘Aren’t you gonna see what it says?’ Robyn asked.
‘No.’
‘No?’
‘I don’t care what it says. There’s nothing she can say that would make me want to speak to her again, okay?’ Cole snapped.
‘Man, she hurt you bad,’ Robyn remarked.
‘Can we just shop?’
‘Sure, of course, it’s none of my business,’ Robyn said, pushing on with the cart.
‘Listen, I wasn’t being an ass, it’s just…’ Cole began, hurrying after her.
‘It’s fine, I shouldn’t have asked. I know I talk too much and, seeing as we’re sharing a house, you have my permission to tell me to shut up when it gets too much.’
‘Robyn, I didn’t mean—’
‘Now, onto my favorite aisle—ice cream,’ she announced, a look of delight crossing her face.
‘You told me it was only your aunt who had a drawer dedicated to ice cream.’
‘I did, didn’t I? But you have a fridge that talks to you! In fact, it suggested to me only this morning that it was severely lacking in the whole ice cream department and begged to be restocked,’ Robyn said, opening a freezer door.
‘Did it really?’
‘Didn’t you hear it? Didn’t it wake you up with its constant muttering, I need chocolate toffee and mint choc chip.’
‘No, someone cooking on the barbecue, singing “Sweet Home Alabama” woke me up,’ Cole informed her.
‘I don’t sing.’
‘Pinocchio, your nose will grow!’
‘Was it really bad and out of tune?’
‘The birds had their wings over their ears.’
‘That is so mean! And birds don’t have ears, do they?’ Robyn asked, piling more tubs into the cart.
‘Stop! You’re crazy!’ Cole exclaimed as he attempted to halt her.
Robyn hoofed another half dozen tubs into the cart and set off down the aisle as quickly as she could. This was more fun than she remembered. She jumped onto the cart and let it glide down the aisle toward the cereal section. She jumped off and was about to turn down into the next row, when the sight of something stopped her in her tracks.
Just up ahead was a man, six-foot tall, wearing a green baseball cap, a gray T-shirt and faded blue jeans. Just peeking out under the cap was a shock of ginger hair.
Robyn felt the breath catch in her throat as she watched him put a packet of Cheerios into the basket on his arm. The way he moved, his gangly, awkward appearance and the red hair—she knew instinctively who it was. She felt the realization wash over her.
Her heart was hammering so hard in her chest it hurt. She backed away, frantically dragging the cart with her. She didn’t want to see his face. She couldn’t bear to see his face.
She pulled the cart hard, didn’t see Cole and collided with him.
‘Whoa! You okay?’ he asked, steadying her as she threatened to fall into the display of half-price liquid hand soap.
‘I have to go,’ Robyn stated, perspiring and wringing her hands together.
‘Go? Go where?’ Cole asked, his head tilted as he took in her anxious expression.
‘I just have to go. I’m sorry,’ Robyn said, backing away from him and abandoning the cart.
‘Robyn? What’s happened? Come on, look, don’t go, I’ll pay more attention. Hey, I love ice cream, I could eat it for every meal, talk to me,’ Cole urged, taking hold of her arm.
‘No, let go,’ Robyn ordered, and she wrenched her arm free and began sprinting down the aisle toward the exit.
Tears were welling up in her eyes, and she needed to get out of the store before she came face-to-face with him.
What was he doing here? People said he wasn’t around. He shouldn’t be here, not now—not ever.
Fifteen
Robyn ditched Leonora outside the front of Gold Realty and rushed into the office, still sweating and breathing like she was about to have a heart attack.
‘Good morning, ma’am. How can I help you today?’ a middle-aged woman with gold-rimmed glasses questioned, beaming at Robyn with a pearly white smile.
‘I need to see Sarah Gorski please,’ Robyn announced nervously.
She felt sick and faint and she couldn’t catch her breath. She could see his face in her mind’s eye. The freckled complexion and the crooked smile.
‘Are you looking to buy or to sell?’ the woman asked, picking up a pen and preparing to write on a clipboard.
‘What?’ Robyn asked, looking at the woman and trying to concentrate on what she was saying.
‘What sort of property are you looking for?’
‘I’m not looking for a property. Could you tell her Robyn Matthers needs to see her?’
She was feeling really sick now. It was like seeing him had turned her insides out. Her stomach felt heavy and twisted. She could smell him; the memory of it was almost forcing her to retch.
‘Take a seat. Would you like some coffee?’ the woman offered.
‘No, no thanks,’ Robyn replied, thankful to have the opportunity to sit down before she fell down.
It was all so long ago, but sometimes it felt like it had happened yesterday. The fear hadn’t lessened, the memories hadn’t dulled, and the pain still felt raw. Whatever she told people about it being forgotten was a lie. She hadn’t forgotten a thing. Everything was etched on her like an internal tattoo.
‘Robyn? Is everything okay?’ Sarah asked as she appeared in the reception area.
Her glasses were perched on her nose, her portfolio was in her hand and she was looking like the efficient professional she obviously was. Robyn, for some reason, felt worse. She was still the girl who liked to get covered in oil, the childish one, the girl whose parents should never have got together in the first place. Sarah was an adult, and Robyn knew she was one tug away from unravelling again.
‘Have you got like ten minutes?’ Robyn asked awkwardly, still toying with her hands.
‘Sure. What is it? You don’t look too good. Are you okay?’
‘Sit in Leonora?’ Robyn suggested.
‘Leonora?’ Sarah asked.
‘Come on,’ Robyn urged, pulling her friend by the arm.
She led her outside and opened up the door of the Mustang. Sarah got in and Robyn joined her, instinctively locking the door.
‘So this is the car Mickey was raving about,’ Sarah said, running her hand over the interior. ‘It’s nice.’
Robyn didn’t answer. Her head was spinning.
‘So, what’s happened? Oh Robyn, it’s not your dad, is it? Has he had another heart attack?’ Sarah asked, concerned.
‘I… saw Jason,’ Robyn blurted out, looking at her friend with wide, tear-filled eyes.
‘What?’ Sarah exclaimed in horror.
‘He was right there, in Meijer’s, right in front of me,’ Robyn said, her voice cracking and tears spilling from her eyes.
‘No, Robyn, he couldn’t have been. He hasn’t been back here, not since… not since everything happened,’ Sarah assured her.
‘I know it was him,’ Robyn stated, wiping at her eyes with her fingers and trying to stabilize her breathing.
‘Are you sure? I mean, you haven’t seen him for years. I haven’t seen him for years. No one I know has seen him for years, except Grant. Anyway, Grant flies to Mississippi to see him, that’s where Jason lives now,’ Sara
h explained.
‘It may be where he lives, but it isn’t where he is! He’s on Westnedge, in the freaking supermarket!’ Robyn announced hysterically.
‘Okay, well let’s think about this logically. Why would he be here now? I mean, he’s been gone nine years, why would he come back now? There’s nothing here for him, no job, no friends. Okay, there’s his dad, but their relationship is as up and down as the housing market. And nobody in this town wants him here. What’s he got to come back for?’ Sarah asked her.
‘Do I have to spell it out for you? He’s back because I’m back! Grant probably told him I was back, and he’s come here to make me live the whole thing all over again!’ Robyn shrieked.
‘But what has he got to gain from doing that?’
‘What’s he got to lose? I can’t be here with him here. I can’t be in the same town as him, the same state as him. I don’t even want to be in the same country as him—that was the whole point of leaving,’ Robyn began, struggling to maintain control of her emotions.
‘Listen to me, Rob, it won’t have been Jason. It can’t have been Jason. You saw Grant last night at hockey practice, didn’t you? If he was here, he would have told you, you know he would. He wouldn’t be stupid enough not to tell you,’ Sarah reassured her, taking hold of her friend’s hands.
‘You think I’m crazy, don’t you? You think I’m seeing things because of what the twins did,’ Robyn said with a shake of her head.
‘The twins? What have they got to do with anything?’
‘They’re ghoulish little freaks I can’t believe are related to me! Painting things on walls and whispering to each other, looking at me with those black, soulless eyes. They wrote Jason loves Robyn on my bedroom wall and it made me feel so sick. I couldn’t stay a second longer, I couldn’t bear to see them sniggering across the breakfast table. Pam and Bob couldn’t have been sorrier, but those brats rule that house and they’re out of control.’
‘You left?’
‘Yep, ran away to a million-dollar house on the lake.’
‘What?’
‘Brad hates Cole, Cole probably hates Brad, and they’re supposed to be gelling as a team. At least they both seem to like Henrik, although none of us know what nationality he is. Dad’s started a Hershey’s chocolate diet, and he’s in cahoots with Max who must have a porter in his employ to be able to smuggle that amount of crap in without detection. Milo hates the new uniform and I’m scared he’s gonna grow a beard, and I haven’t managed to order any plates for my customers to eat off of when I reopen the roadhouse next week. I should phone Clive, but I can’t bring myself to because I know, deep down, that how I’ve been living my life isn’t right. And Cole, well he doesn’t like ice cream quite as much as I do, although he lied and said he did to make me feel better, and I left him, at the supermarket, with a cart full of food,’ Robyn blurted out.
‘I think you’re gonna have to explain because I didn’t understand any of that,’ Sarah admitted, looking at her friend with concern.
‘I don’t know what to do,’ Robyn said, sighing heavily.
‘Maybe you should go back and see the counselor,’ Sarah suggested.
‘You still don’t believe me. You don’t believe I saw him,’ Robyn stated, staring at her friend.
‘I’m not saying that. I just think it’s unlikely, that’s all. You’re tired, you’re probably still jetlagged, and…’
‘Get out!’ Robyn ordered, leaning over Sarah and opening her door for her.
‘Robyn, don’t be stupid. I just don’t think it was Jason. It’s too much of a coincidence.’
‘Get out!’ Robyn screamed.
‘Robyn, I…’
‘By the way, you really need to stop dragging Mickey past wedding dress stores. They could be giving the frocks away for free and he probably still wouldn’t set a date!’ Robyn blurted out.
She clamped her lips shut and bit down on her tongue. Why had she said that?
Sarah just stared back at her friend, tears immediately pricking her eyes. She didn’t say anything else. She got out of the car and shut the door behind her, hurrying back into the office, clutching her folder to her like a shield.
Robyn let out a frustrated sigh and punched the steering wheel with her fist. Why was this happening?
*
The shopping was all put away and he didn’t know what to do next. Where was she? He was worried. Hell, he was more concerned for Robyn now than he had been when Veronica had pulled an unannounced all-nighter—probably with his brother.
He shouldn’t have let her go. He should have gone after her, caught up with her. They could have left the shop and gone for a drink and he might have found out the reason for her panic. He was a tool. This was how he let people down. He shouldn’t want to be involved. Being involved just got your heart stomped on. Anyway, he didn’t need someone to make his life worthwhile—he had his career for that. Didn’t he?
He looked at his watch and then heard a tentative knock on the front door.
*
Cole opened the door and Robyn pushed him inside. She grabbed hold of his hands and put them on her hips. She kissed him, pushing him down onto the floor of the hallway. She wanted to get as close to him as she could. She pulled his T-shirt over his head and looked appreciatively at the firm, muscular chest underneath. She ran her fingers down, across his sternum to the waistband of his jeans.
Cole stopped her, taking hold of her hand and squeezing it in his.
She looked into his eyes, those deep, dark eyes. She kissed his lips again, closing her eyes and savoring every second of how it felt to lose herself in someone, without any questions or recriminations. Without anyone having to get up and go home.
Cole brought her fingers to his mouth and softly kissed each knuckle in turn. His gentleness was too much to bear, and she drew herself away, let him go and got to her feet, sweeping her hair back out of her face.
‘Sorry about the whole leaving you in the supermarket thing. How much do I owe you for the food?’ Robyn asked.
‘Nothing, it’s fine. They had a special offer on the ice cream,’ Cole answered, getting to his feet.
‘So, can I help put it away? I mean, I like things ordered a certain way and, although you might think that’s a bit freaky, you really need to just let me do it because…’ Robyn began, heading into the kitchen.
‘It’s done. Look, do you want coffee, or a beer or something?’ Cole offered.
‘Don’t you have to get back to work? Don’t you have some deadly diseases to cure this afternoon?’ Robyn asked, opening the fridge and looking at the groceries.
‘I have assistants for that if I can’t make it,’ Cole answered, his eyes not leaving her.
‘Oh,’ Robyn said not knowing what else to say.
‘What happened back there, Robyn? You took off like you were doing the hundred meters in the Olympics,’ Cole said as Robyn closed the fridge and leaned against the countertop, trying to avoid his gaze.
‘I saw someone I didn’t want to see,’ she admitted, biting her lip.
‘Who? An ex or something?’
‘No, nothing like that.’
‘Then who?’
‘You don’t want to know. The last thing you want to hear about is my messed up past. I mean, you know about my useless mother and my ill dad and my love of ancient old cars. I think that’s about enough for anyone,’ Robyn said with an unconvincing laugh of nerves.
‘I also know you kiss me when you want to lose yourself in something… when you need to escape your life for a second,’ Cole told her.
He hadn’t put his T-shirt back on yet, and his body was just there, he was just there, looking like he did, attracting her with all his Freddie Prinze Jr similarities.
‘Robyn, at the moment you know more about me than anyone round here. We’re friends already and we’re living together. I’m exactly the person who needs to know, and Robyn, I want to know,’ Cole spoke.
‘I saw Jason, Grant’s s
on,’ Robyn blurted out, putting her fingers to her mouth and chewing her nails.
‘Okay, and you’re upset because…’
‘Because… before I left for England… he raped me,’ Robyn admitted, swallowing a knot of tears as her stomach contracted in remembrance.
Cole let out a long, slow, almost inaudible breath, but his expression gave all of his feelings away. Robyn saw a flicker of anger and then something like pain in his eyes as he looked at her. He put his T-shirt back on and pulled it straight, as if being topless was inappropriate.
He crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her protectively into his embrace. He began stroking her hair so softly.
She shut her eyes for a second and enjoyed the feeling of being held.
She could just relax into him, she could let out a breath and all the tension might slip away. He would probably hold her for as long as she needed him to, maybe even forever. She just had to let him in.
She pulled away suddenly, like she’d been jarred by something, and she shook her head vigorously.
‘No, don’t. I don’t want you to do that. Don’t be nice to me like that. I couldn’t stand it,’ Robyn said, wrapping her arms around herself.
‘Did he go to jail?’ Cole asked, watching her.
‘Yeah, four years.’
‘Is that all?!’
‘Yeah. That’s all you get for raping someone and reminding the whole town about how in olden times apparently that’s what they used to do to the witches round here. And now he’s back, just when I’m back,’ Robyn said, her hands trembling as she held them together.
‘Well, he can’t be allowed near you, can he?’ Cole asked.
‘I don’t know. I saw him, it freaked me out, you saw me, you said it yourself—I did a world-record-breaking sprint out of the shop,’ Robyn said.
‘And is that why you give Grant a hard time?’
‘Do I give him a hard time?’
‘A little. But now that I know, it’s understandable. I mean, his son did that to you. Man, where was he when that was all going on?’
‘I know it isn’t his fault, but when I look at him, all I can see is Jason. I’m messed up right?’