by Mandy Baggot
‘Come on, let’s get you a beer,’ Cole said, putting his arm around Robyn and shielding her away from Brad.
‘She doesn’t love you!’ Brad called as he was led away. ‘She doesn’t know how to!’
Forty-Five
She hadn’t spoken the whole drive and they were nearing home. After Brad had been escorted from the arena, she had drunk only four bottles of Bud Light with the team and had turned down Henrik’s offer of shots. It wasn’t like her to turn down the offer of alcohol, and if she didn’t break out the chips and dip when they got home, he was going to be really concerned.
‘What he said back there isn’t true, you know,’ she said as if reading his mind.
‘I know.’
‘I do distract myself with projects, I do like to be busy, but that has nothing to do with how I feel about you. You know that, right?’ Robyn continued, turning to look over at him.
‘Sure.’
‘I didn’t recognize him tonight. He looked at me like he loved me and hated me all at the same time. I didn’t see Brad, I didn’t know who that was,’ she continued.
‘If we hadn’t met, do you think you would have…’
‘No. No, Cole. I don’t feel that way about him. When we were together before, it was just friends making out every now and then, it wasn’t anything even close to serious—not for me, anyways,’ Robyn explained.
‘D’you think maybe we should postpone the wedding?’ Cole asked.
He looked across the car at her.
‘You mean cancel, don’t you? You mean call it off,’ Robyn said with an exasperated sigh.
‘No, I don’t mean that, I mean postpone it, put it off for a while, until this business with your police case is over at least.’
‘You think Brad’s right, you think if I have time, I’ll change my mind or move on to another project,’ Robyn said, tears forming at the rim of her eyes.
‘Robyn, I don’t think that.’
‘Then what?!’
‘Look, Robyn, I found out… the clinic in England did keep the information from the abortion. They’re emailing me on Monday,’ Cole informed her.
She saw him look for her reaction and she gave it to him. She stiffened and balled her fingers into fists then, stretched her fingers out and balled them up again. Turning her head she looked out of the window.
‘Whoever did that to me took away everything I had. They took away my whole life, all my good memories, and they made me leave everything I loved behind. If that was Jason, has he paid enough? If it wasn’t Jason, what do I do then? I’ve spent the whole time in England thinking I knew who it was, detesting his image, reliving what happened in my dreams. What if I’ve been hating the wrong man?’ Robyn asked him.
‘That’s why we’re going to find out,’ Cole reassured her.
‘Maybe I leaned on Brad too much after it happened. Maybe I gave him the wrong impression about my feelings for him. It seems like I’ve ruined his whole life as well. I’ve been in England sleeping with Clive to try and rid myself of the ugly memory of it all, and Brad’s been pining over something I didn’t think we ever had. What if that’s what I’m going to do to you—to us. Maybe I was right all along and I can’t have a real relationship—ever,’ Robyn blurted out.
‘No, because we’re having a real relationship, right here, right now,’ Cole told her.
‘Are we? Or are we both freefalling toward each other because we don’t know what else to do?’
She looked over at Cole, checking to see if his expression showed his feelings.
He pulled the car into the drive of his home and turned off the engine.
‘Get out,’ he said, opening the door of the Mustang and stepping out of it.
She unfastened her seat belt and followed him out of the car.
He leapt up onto the hood and pulled himself up onto the roof, where he lay down facing the sky.
When Robyn lay down beside him, he pointed up to the stars.
‘One day, whether we like it or not, you and me are going to be up there, just like Mitzy, Old Man Harrison and Don Mitchell Ryan—my dad,’ he said, drawing a loop between the stars with his finger.
‘You think people are gonna be climbing up on the roofs of cars choosing stars for us in fifty odd years’ time?’ she asked.
‘Our grandkids, maybe?’ he suggested, turning to her.
‘What are you saying to me?’
‘Robyn, life’s too short to worry about everything, you know… what people say, what people do, what people think is right or wrong. Some people in life just aren’t gonna like what you do. Some people are going to be with you your whole life long and others are gonna fall by the wayside for one reason or another. I want to be there your whole life long,’ Cole told her.
‘But how do you know that already?’ she asked him, her voice wavering with emotion.
‘Because somehow someone wrote it up there… and I believe them,’ Cole said, indicating the dark blanket above them.
Robyn let out an audible cry and burrowed her head into his shoulder. He turned slightly and pulled her into him, protectively stroking her hair away from her face.
‘I do need looking after and I eat far too many pickles. I’m gonna end up with an ulcer if I don’t get help,’ Robyn blubbered, raising her head to look at him.
‘I know that, you need me.’
Robyn shook her head, smiling as she wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt.
‘I’ve spent so long trying to honor my dad and please my mom and find a cure for everything, I lost sight of who I was and what I wanted. You’ve helped me get that back. Yes, what I do at Gen-All is important, but it isn’t everything,’ he said. ‘I have to make time for me.’
‘Time for ice hockey and turkey shoots and the Old Country Buffet,’ Robyn reminded him.
‘And Robyn Matthers,’ he said, kissing her.
‘Time for us,’ she whispered.
*
When they’d made love that night, she’d cried and clung to him and begged him to never let her go. She trusted him enough to show him her vulnerability and that meant so much. She was sharing everything with him, her past, her fears, and her insecurities behind the tough exterior she’d built up. This relationship that had sprung itself on them was a new beginning for them both in such different ways. But they were embarking on it together, full of hope, full of love, and full of anticipation for whatever was to come.
Forty-Six
Monday arrived before she knew it. Most of Sunday had been spent at the roadhouse. Mickey, Sarah, Wes, Wade, Henrik and Art – finally better - had come in for lunch and no one had seen or heard from Brad. Mickey had called him a ‘prize wiener,’ Sarah had sheepishly said nothing, and Henrik had suggested a night out after the next game. Jason and Grant had also come in for dinner. They had hung around the entrance awkwardly wondering whether they should be there or not until Robyn had greeted them with menus and a rundown of the day’s specials. She had made Nancy serve them.
Now Robyn waited outside the mall in the rain for Sarah, Nancy and Cole’s mother, Martha. Cole had gone to pick her up from Battle Creek International and was due at the mall any second.
When Robyn saw Sarah, she waved at her frantically.
‘Now listen! You’ve spent years walking round these wedding dress shops, have you seen anything good? Because I’ve been having nightmares about pearls and lace and frills and butterflies and giant marshmallows. If Pam gets her way, I’m gonna be trussed up in some massive dress and everyone’s gonna think I’m a hot air balloon!’ Robyn shrieked.
‘Where is Pam?’ Sarah asked.
‘Oh, she’s started already. You can hardly see her arms. She’s loaded them up with frocks like some sort of freaking human clothes horse.’
‘Hey, sugar. Sorry I’m late, your dad had to give me a blow by blow account of last night’s Red Wings game. I swear he makes some of it up. I mean, there can’t really be a fight a minute, can there?’ Nancy rem
arked as she joined them.
‘Oh, there was last night—it was pure filth,’ Robyn replied.
‘Is Cole’s mom coming?’ Sarah asked.
‘Yeah, she should be here any minute,’ Robyn said, looking at her watch.
‘What’s she like? I mean, am I gonna have to speak proper?’ Nancy asked.
‘Properly,’ Robyn corrected.
‘Whatever.’
‘She’s nice. I mean, how could she not be nice? She’s Cole’s mom.’
‘Yeah, but ain’t she also the mom of the brother that did the dirty with his girlfriend?’ Nancy asked, chomping on her gum.
‘We don’t talk about that. Not today, not ever,’ Robyn warned her.
‘The brother coming to the wedding?’ Nancy wanted to know.
‘Shh, there’s Cole’s car. She’s coming. Oh, and by the way, she has a vacuuming obsession,’ Robyn said, waving her hands in a bid to silence Nancy.
‘Stand up straight, shoulders back,’ Nancy whispered to Sarah.
‘Was she in the Army?’ Sarah asked.
‘Hi, Martha. How was your flight?’ Robyn asked as she greeted her.
‘Bombay mix. Cole’s given me a bottle of water,’ Martha said, showing it to her.
‘Martha, this is my best friend, Sarah, she’s getting married, too. My Aunty Pam is already in the store, neck-deep in dresses, and this is my almost stepmom, Nancy,’ Robyn introduced with a swallow of nerves.
Martha was wearing a floral shift dress and matching jacket; Nancy was wearing jeans with open zips across the knees and a hoodie with the word ‘Cougar’ written across it.
‘Pleased to meet you,’ Nancy said first, moving the gum to the side of her mouth.
‘And you,’ Martha said, smiling at both Nancy and Sarah.
‘Nancy helps me at Eddie’s Roadhouse. Eddie’s my dad, I told you about him. He’s had his operation, everything went well. Nancy’s so particular, you know, about cleanliness, particularly vacuuming,’ Robyn stated.
‘I have a Dyson, too. It’s secondhand, but it still sucks real well,’ Sarah chipped in.
‘Goodness! People sure vacuum a great deal around here,’ Martha said.
‘Don’t we all?’ Robyn asked, rolling her eyes.
‘Well, if you have the time, I guess. I try and avoid it as much as possible now that the boys have left home,’ Martha told them.
Sarah stifled a laugh.
‘Shall we go in?’ Robyn suggested hastily.
‘Sure, honey. I have your daddy’s credit card—this dress is on him,’ Nancy announced.
‘Oh no, he doesn’t need to do that. I have money,’ Robyn said.
‘He wants to, honey, almost made me have the PIN tattooed on my butt before I came here,’ Nancy said with a cackle.
‘Okay, well, let’s go,’ Robyn said, leading the way into the mall.
*
His mom had looked a little tired today. She said she was sleeping, but he wasn’t sure she was telling him the truth. And she hadn’t even mentioned Bryn. Perhaps she had resigned herself to the fact that a reconciliation wasn’t going to happen. The idea of that would be killing her.
Cole picked up the phone and forced himself to press a sequence of numbers. He took a deep breath and looked out of the window at the park. Two boys were chasing each other with small branches from a tree, using them like fencing swords.
‘Bryn, it’s Cole. Listen, don’t hang up, I haven’t called to fight. This is stupid. I want to move on.’
*
‘Pam is carrying like ten dresses. Is she expecting me to try them all on?’ Robyn asked Sarah.
‘I think that’s exactly why she’s holding them,’ Sarah said, browsing the racks.
‘Can you try some of them on? I mean, they might be perfect for you.’
‘They might be perfect for you.’
‘I can barely see her under them! There are more pearls in there than in a whole colony of oysters.’
‘You can’t see them properly over her arms like that.’
‘I can see enough.’
‘Well, what style are you looking for?’ Sarah asked, looking up at a crystal embroidered bodice.
‘I don’t know, I’ve never looked at wedding dresses before.’
‘But you must have some idea.’
‘Must I? Oh jeez, Nancy’s in the spangly section and Martha’s looking at stoles. What am I gonna do?’ Robyn asked.
‘Suck it up.’
‘Like your secondhand Dyson?’
‘Robyn, honey! I’ve picked some beautiful gowns for you to try on,’ Pam called, waving her arms underneath a blanket of tulle.
‘Great!’ Robyn said, faking excitement.
‘Sugar, there’s some real pretty gold ones over here,’ Nancy called.
‘Have you thought about a stole or a wrap? It’s bound to be windy by the lake,’ Martha added.
‘This was such a bad idea,’ Robyn murmured to Sarah.
‘Well, I’m gonna try this one on,’ Sarah said, taking a dress down from the rack.
‘Just one? The crazy women over there are expecting me to make a whole day of it!’
‘Come on, I don’t see the problem. You’re looking for something beautiful to wear when you marry Cole. Cole, the gorgeous guy you met on a plane, the one who swept you off your feet, the guy who adores you,’ Sarah reminded her.
‘I know. That’s why it’s got to be right,’ Robyn said with a frustrated sigh.
‘It’s nerves,’ Sarah decided.
‘It isn’t nerves, I’m not nervous. I have nothing to be nervous about, right?’
‘Then look excited about it! You’re getting married! On Friday!’ Sarah reminded her enthusiastically.
‘I know!’ Robyn said, this time with a happy smile.
She was excited. She was so excited she could almost burst. Cole was amazing.
‘Then let’s get an assistant to help us try on everything in the whole damn store,’ Sarah suggested.
‘We’ll need snacks,’ Robyn said.
*
‘I’m not totally sure about the feathers,’ Robyn said.
The dress, Pam’s choice, had a figure-hugging boned bodice with ostrich feathers sewn in and a full skirt. She wasn’t sure whether to hold her arms out straight or bend them at the elbows and cluck like a chicken.
‘You look like a Thanksgiving turkey before the plucking,’ Nancy stated.
‘I’m not sure it’s you,’ Martha agreed.
‘Oh, I think it’s beautiful. It really complements your hair, honey,’ Pam said.
‘My hair looks like feathers?’ Robyn exclaimed in horror.
‘That wasn’t what I meant,’ Pam began.
‘Nah, I hate it,’ Robyn declared for about the twentieth time.
‘Try on the gold,’ Nancy suggested.
‘Try on the ivory bodice, full skirt, and the fur wrap,’ Martha piped up.
‘How about this one? The beads are so delicate,’ Pam said, holding up another intricately designed gown.
‘I think I’m gonna try this one,’ Robyn said, picking a dress off the rack of gowns the assistant had chosen.
‘Oh no, not that one. There’s nothing to it, it’s so plain, honey,’ Pam exclaimed, putting her hands to her face in horror.
‘You are definitely going to need a shawl with that,’ Martha remarked.
‘Yeah, sugar, a sequinned one at the very least,’ Nancy added, putting a handful of pretzels into her mouth.
‘I like it,’ Sarah said, nodding at Robyn encouragingly.
The dress was cream, and had a scalloped neckline and spaghetti straps.
‘Try it on,’ Sarah said.
‘With this,’ Nancy added, passing over a sequinned bolero.
‘Or perhaps this?’ Martha said, finding a fur shrug.
Robyn took both items offered and the dress and disappeared into the changing rooms, anxious to rid herself of the feathered frock she had on.
She close
d the door and tugged at the zipper. None of the dresses had felt right yet.
‘It isn’t going to be that cold by the lake,’ she heard Nancy remarked to Martha.
‘It isn’t Vegas either,’ Martha commented back.
‘I thought she would like something that makes more of a statement. I mean it is the most important day of her life,’ Pam added.
Robyn unfastened the door and opened it a crack to listen. She peeked out and saw Pam picking up a gown that wouldn’t have looked out of place on a limited-edition Disney Princess.
‘It’s all a rush though, isn’t it? I mean she hasn’t had time to plan anything, let alone consider the importance,’ Martha said, folding up a fluffy cape.
‘What you mean by that?’ Nancy snapped immediately.
Robyn smiled at her almost stepmom’s defensive attitude.
‘Well, I can’t be the only one here who thinks this marriage decision is far too hasty,’ Martha stated frankly.
‘I agree,’ Pam admitted.
‘Well I don’t. When you know, you know—end of story,’ Nancy replied.
Robyn nodded her head and felt something inside her warm even more to the woman she’d thought was such a bad influence on her dad.
‘I agree with Nancy. I mean I know me and Mickey have had our ups and downs just lately but…’ Sarah spoke up.
Wow! Now her best friend was wading in with support. Now the roadhouse was up and running she should really set aside some time for Sarah.
‘They’ve known each other just over a week,’ Martha said.
‘I know and I think all this stuff with Jason being raked up again is affecting her judgment,’ Pam carried on.
‘Who’s Jason?’ she heard Martha ask.
Robyn closed the door again and hurriedly removed the dress. She looked at the one hanging on the peg on the door and she put it over her head. It slipped down over her shoulders, fell lightly over her breasts and dropped to the floor. She looked at her appearance in the mirror, turning to the side and back again. She picked up the sequinned bolero and put her arms into it. It would have been perfect on Nancy, but made her look like a chorus girl. She took it off and swapped it for the fur shrug Martha had given her. It made her look like Bugs Bunny. She discarded it on the floor and looked at herself in the mirror. The simplicity of the gown made it beautiful. It made her look beautiful.