He turns toward me and smiles. “I’m yours to keep. I can’t stop dreaming of all the things we could be, Ellie. We could be so amazing. Have a perfect family. Live and be in love like we wanted to all those years ago. Only we can make our future. I want you in mine if you’ll have me in yours.” His voice is choked. After feeling so hot and cold with everything he’s done in the last few months, I feel now he is finally being realistic.
“You really hurt me,” I whisper, and tangle my fingers together.
“I… I know I did. I was hurting too.”
I look into his eyes. “I don’t mean then. Of course that hurt me. I mean at the club the other day. You kissed her, right after tasting me. God, seeing that…. that hurt me so much.” He catches one of my falling tears with his thumb and wipes it away.
“I’m sorry I did that. I’m sorry for what I’ve been doing these past few months. I needed to get you out of my head but I just couldn’t. You’ve consumed my every thought for months now. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. Since you walked into that conference room and got so mad at me, I haven’t been able to love anything or anyone else. I am solely yours. I knew that the first day I met you.”
I cup his cheeks and pull his mouth to mine. My lips are wet from my tears, and we stop as I start to laugh beneath the kiss. “I missed you.”
He smiles against my mouth and moves his lips to my neck. “I missed everything to do with you,” he says against my skin. I break out in goose bumps.
“I can’t wait to start my love story with you.”
“Our love story began years ago. We just lost ourselves for a little while.”
He gently presses my lips with his and I fall backward. He moves his legs so he’s astride me, and kisses me. He kisses me with forgiveness, with love, with memories we both forced to bury. His fingers crawl up my skin and rip open my coat. He stops kissing me. He sits up, still astride me, and looks over my buttoned shirt. Smirking a small smile from the right side of his mouth and rips the shirt in half. Buttons scatter to the floor and I inhale a long breath. He leans down and runs his tongue from my pubic bone to the swell of my right breast. He pulls down the cup of my lilac bra so my breasts are above it, and uses his tongue as a method of torture. My back arcs under his expert mouth, and I clench my fingers on the side of the couch. He notices and grabs my hands, entwining our fingers. He tantalizes my breasts for the longest time before standing.
“Stand up.”
I stand.
“Strip.” His voice is so dark, filled with sexual dominance.
I pull the chiffon shirt slowly from my shoulders and unclasp my bra. He lets out a gentle gasp as the bra falls to the ground. His arms are crossed, and he’s leaning against the wall opposite me. His body is so long, so lean, so desirable.
I pull my skirt down my legs and step out of it. I’m left standing in my lilac lace panties and garter. I have no idea why I wore a garter, but they make me feel so feminine.
He growls. Like, full on, growls.
“Can you see what your body does to me? What it’s always done to me?” Before I can say anything, his arm is under my knees and he’s lifting me. I’m naked, well, almost, and in his arms. He bites my shoulder as I kiss his neck, and he carries me into another room.
“Before you ask, no, Leona has never been in here. This is my space for relaxing after work. Right now, the only way I’m going to relax is by being inside you.”
I gasp at his words and I’m literally thrown onto a bed. He crawls up my body, which is still in shock from being thrown, and he kisses every piece of skin he sees. As he reaches my panties, he licks over the material, bringing my sensitive skin to life.
“We need to lose these.” He pulls the lace easily, ripping it in his fingers. How is that even possible? But fuck, it’s hot. The garters are unclipped and pulled from my legs, along with my pantyhose. He stands and I sit up on my elbows to watch.
He walks over to a dresser and pours a drink. It’s amber, looks like whiskey. He puts the glass on the bedside table next to me and I look from the glass to his hands, which are unbuckling his belt. He pulls it from the loops and I can’t take anymore. I sit up fast and move toward him.
He backs off. “Oh no, baby. This is about you. I want to have all your pleasure.” He lifts the glass. “Drink?”
I nod.
He places the glass to my lips and tips it in. I groan at the heat of the alcohol and swallow. He leans down and kisses me. “God, it tastes so much better from your tongue.” I pull his head back to my mouth and he spills the drink. I smile and he shakes his head. “Naughty.” He kisses me again. His tongue slides along the seam of my lips before I open to him. Alcohol and him… Jesus. Christ. He tastes absolutely phenomenal. I let out a small moan as I feel his ever-growing erection against my naked stomach.
“Too many clothes,” I say. “I feel you’re getting all the satisfaction from this. I want to see you.”
He laughs.
Coldness hits my stomach and I gasp as I realize he’s poured the remainder of whiskey on me. It drips off either side of my stomach. He goes back to fill the glass again, and places it on the table. He rids himself of his pants, but leaves his shirt and boxers on. His tongue meets my skin and he groans.
“I lied. It tastes so much better from your skin. I wonder if it’ll taster better here…” His tongue lightly touches my clit and my blood sparks to life. It feels hotter, and I know it’s the effect of the alcohol on me. He kisses my nub a few times and pulls away. “Tastes so much better from you. Fuck, you’re so wet, baby.” His tongue swipes from my entrance, lapping me up, and dances over my clit.
The heavy feeling in my stomach starts to build, causing my fingers to twist in his white bed sheet.
“Luke…” I say through a breathless whisper.
“Yes, baby?”
“Don’t stop.” I move my right hand from the bed and twist my fingers in his hair.
My orgasm is ready to go but something is holding me back. I don’t want this feeling to end. His finger slips inside me and I burst. That’s it. Done. The feeling explodes, sending my body into pure bliss, reminding me how good an orgasm that’s wanted should feel. I scream out and my legs clench shut around his head when he doesn’t stop. He escapes from my grip and crawls up my body. I look into his eyes and rip his shirt apart like he did mine.
“Seven hundred dollars down the drain.” He smiles.
“I don’t care.” I smile and he lifts me. I push the shirt from his shoulders and bite into the trap muscle on his neck. His moan is enough to make me explode again.
“I need you inside me.” I sound whiny, but I don’t care.
“Patience, baby. I want inside you too, but I want to remember this.”
His lips meet mine and he’s inside me before I can even register what’s happening. I practically scream into his mouth as he works his hips back and forth.
“Fuck,” he grinds out, and starts a fast rhythm. I barely notice the way his fingers are digging into my hips. Everything is hot, so fast, and my skin prickles as sweat starts to form. He pulls out of me and flips me over. We’re all fingers and lips and tongues. He takes me from behind, slamming into me over and over, our panting breaths and moans echoing around the room. His fingers are really digging into my hips now and I groan, knowing the bruises that will be there tomorrow. It doesn’t bother me, it turns me on. Because it’s him.
He pulls out again and turns me back over, his hands not soft and gentle, but carnal and…. well…hot.
He pushes into me gently this time, and leans forward. His palm is hot against my cheek, his forehead resting on mine.
“I’m going to come soon, baby,” he says against my gasping lips, and I moan with every thrust he gives me.
I let go. My groans are so loud, so possessed, I don’t even recognize them. I come so hard. My nails dig into his back and I bite at his mouth as my orgasm consumes me.
He thrusts faster and harder, leaving my orgasm to
linger. His thighs begin to shake as he comes hard inside me, grunting and spilling everything he has into me. I try to control my breathing but we’re gasping for any air we can get. He looks me in the eyes and smiles.
“Fuck. Me.” He pulls out of me and I wince at the emptiness I suddenly feel. He rolls over and onto the bed next to me.
“I think I just did.” I laugh. He turns his head toward me and laughs with me.
“Time for a shower and round two I think.” He’s up and off the bed, lifting me over his shoulder and marching me toward his bathroom.
Love of my life.
My soul mate.
Mine.
Always and Forever.
He promised.
7am never looked this beautiful.
7am never looked this perfect.
The sunshine is blinding and shining brightly onto my face, and I’m scared to move in case someone takes this amazing, blissful feeling away from me. I can see skyscrapers through the window in front of me, and I look at the beautiful crisp morning. I turn onto my back and notice I’m alone in this big bed. There is an orange stain on the white bed sheet and I smile at last night’s memories. I hear the sound of a shower and I sit up. Wrapping the white sheet around me, I stand and go exploring. It’s a penthouse. Who would’ve known this was above the building I’ve been working in for months? Everything is so clinical. I find the kitchen and open the refrigerator. I pull out a carton of orange juice and look for a glass. When I can’t find one, I unscrew the lid and drink from the carton. Fingers curl around my waist and pull me back against a hard body. He kisses the skin under my ear and wraps his arms around my front.
“Dirty habit,” he mutters under his kisses, and I tip my head back and drink some more.
“Bite me,” I whisper, and he does, seductively. His teeth gently graze my earlobe, sending a sense of sexual longing through me.
He releases me and turns on some music. “Breakfast?”
I turn around to face him and breathe in a shuddery breath at the vision in front of me. He has grey tailored suit pants on, with bare feet and bare chest. It’s too much.
“Yes, please.” I involuntarily sway my hips to Jason Derulo. “I don’t want to live another day, without your body next to me.” I sing along, and Luke stops what he’s doing and wraps his arms around me again.
“I’d fight for you.” He starts to dance with me, our hips grinding. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and kisses my cheek. He drops me low and I laugh as he pulls me back up. The sheet falls slightly and he pulls it from me completely. I’m totally bared to him.
“Mmm,” he groans. “This is how I want my every day. I’m going to end it with Leona today.”
I take a step back. “Really?”
He nods, and I smile. I smile a smile I haven’t for years. I have him back. My Luke James. “Okay,” I whisper, and he kisses me until I’m breathless.
****
After a perfect breakfast cooked by Luke, I shower and dress in one of his shirts, a pair of boxers, and my pantyhose. I look ridiculous. I laugh into the mirror when green eyes look into mine.
“I look ridiculous.”
“You look beautiful.” He’s fully dressed now, and ready for a day of work. He pulls out his vibrating cell and frowns at the caller ID. Leona, more than likely.
“Luke James.” He listens intently to whoever it is and his eyes jump to mine, worry in his stare.
“What?” I mouth, and he just keeps staring. “What, Luke?” I ask, louder now because he’s worrying me.
“I understand. Thank you for the phone call, sir.” Luke ends the call. “It’s Jade.”
CHAPTER NINE
When you receive that phone call from someone who loves you and cares about you, but it’s not them. It’s someone else talking instead of him or her. Your heart immediately plummets to the depths. It falls and you can’t catch it. You watch it fall.
“I’m so sorry, Ella. She’s… she’s been killed.”
Eight words. That’s all it takes. Eight words to stop my world again, to make me remember that anyone I love gets taken away. They all get taken away.
“She was… shit, she was murdered.”
Murdered.
Knifepoint.
Throat.
The rain starts to pour around me. The big drops fall onto my cold, rigid body. Why? Goddamn it, why? Why her? Why now?
I scream.
The world turns and looks at me. They all stare at me. I run. I run as fast as I can through the busy streets. I run into the road and cabbies swear and beep their horns at me. I run through them. I don’t care anymore.
I don’t know how I even got here.
I just want my fucking happy ending.
Why can’t I get my happy ending?
Why will nobody give me happiness?
Why must I always see that stupid darkness?
It swallows me whole and keeps me locked tight.
My best friend is dead.
My best friend.
My beautiful, talented best friend.
I let her into my life when I needed her most; she showed me how to love her, and how to become a better person. She showed me how to ride my bike properly. She helped me save myself. She kept my depression at bay. We’d spend nights watching movies on her parents sofa, and eat crap popcorn and drink Pepsi. She was the best thing in my world.
And she’s gone.
She’s gone.
I’ll never get to look into her eyes again. I’ll never get to laugh with her again. I’ll never get to wish her ‘happy birthday’ again.
I stop and stand in the road.
I wail.
My body is giving up its fight.
I hold my arms out and look to the sky. “What do you want from me? You’re supposed to look after me! You’re supposed to save me! Why do you keep punishing me?”
I cry harder. Someone is tugging on my arm, asking me to move from the road. But I don’t want to. I want to be with her, and with him. With the two people who never hurt me. Who wanted the best for me. What have I got now? What do I have to give to the world?
“I just want them back,” I sob, and face the stranger trying to save my life. “I don’t need you saving me.”
She smiles gently. “Come on, honey. You need to get out of the road.” Her fingers lace with mine and I let her pull me gently away.
Luke’s waiting for me. His suit is drenched and his hands are on his knees, trying to catch his breath. I sob harder, my lungs desperate for some air. His eyes look hard into mine, and he grabs my hand and pulls me into his body.
My howls are so loud, so needed. My girl has gone. My girl. My best friend.
“I’m so sorry, Ellie,” Luke whispers against my hair over and over. “I will do anything you need, okay? I’m here for you.” My fingers grasp onto his shirt, twisting in the wet cotton. I fist my hands and bang them against his chest, and he holds me still.
“Why? I can’t go through this again! I just can’t!” My cries are so hard, I feel suddenly faint. “I feel weird…” I groan and Luke pulls me away from his chest.
“Shit, Ella. You look so pale. Are you...?”
****
“It was the shock. She just needs her vitals looking over once more, and we’ve put her on an IV for her dehydration. She can go home as soon as she wakes up, Mr. James.”
My eyes flicker open slowly, and I try to sit up. I complain when I rest on my hand, and look down at the needle stuck in my vein. The memories come rushing back but they’re all disorganized. I shouldn’t have to say goodbye to her. I shouldn’t. The rain follows me, and I’m sick of it. I want it to stop following me. She’s gone from my life. Today, she left my life. I swallow back the cry I need to let out. I can’t be weak. Jade wouldn’t allow it.
“Hi,” Luke whispers. “How’re you feeling?”
I look up to meet his eyes. I’m forever drowning in them. “I feel numb.”
He nods and comes closer. His han
d holds mine and his thumb soothes me. It’s gently moving backward and forward over the sensitive skin on the back of my hand. “I want to let go. I want to forget.”
“I know, Ellie. God, I know, baby.” He wraps his arms around me and I’m comforted by him. He smells like rain.
“I feel sick.” My body starts to convulse, and he grabs a paper sick bowl from the side. He holds it under my chin and holds my hair back with the other hand. I throw up. God, I feel so shitty.
“Can you hold this, Ella? I’m going to let the nurse know you’re awake.” His voice breaks, just slightly, and I can tell he’s sad too. I know he kept in touch with Jade; she told me often of how he’d email her and ask about me. But I never planned on telling him I knew about that.
I nod and he leaves the room. I gaze at my surroundings for a little while, taking in the white walls and machines surrounding the bed. I’ve been in the hospital twice this year. I shouldn’t have been here at all. My heart feels so broken. I won’t see my best friend, or hear her sweet voice ever again. I’ve lost everything. I truly have nothing. I feel like the most selfish human being on this earth.
A young nurse enters, notes in her hands, and she closes the door behind her. She’s alone.
“Hi, Ms. Stone. How are you feeling?” Her voice is soft and welcoming. She takes a seat on the blue plastic chair next to my bed.
“I’m feeling a little lost. I guess Luke told you-”
“He did, Ms. Stone. I need to talk to you about a pressing matter.”
“Please, call me Ella.” I give her a small, forced smile.
“Okay, Ella. Did you know that you’re around five weeks pregnant?”
I laugh as loud as I can. “What? You’ve got that wrong. There is no way-” I scan my thoughts for the times I had sex.
Luke and me.
Ryan and me.
Daniel and me.
It can’t have been Ryan because he can’t have children, and we used a condom every time. I used a condom with Daniel. But Luke… I can’t remember…
“I can’t get pregnant. I have polycystic ovaries. It’s not possible.” I breathe out a deep breath, trying to comfort my body from its override.
Always and Forever (Always #2) Page 7