I'm on the ground, in a fetal position, my legs curled up to my stomach, protecting the small life inside me. My head hurts so much.
"Pregnant?" Nathan roars, and kicks the bottom of my spine. "I bet its Mr. Millionaire’s, isn't it? The cunt you cheated on me with? It is, isn't it?"
I don't answer. I don't know where we are, but he's driven me out in the sticks somewhere.
"Are you going to answer me, little woman? Or just act all sweet and innocent? Because we all know you aren't that, don't we? Little whore."
His boots are near my head; I clench my eyes shut, ready for the impact. But there isn't one. I hear the cocking of a gun.
I visit all the happy times; I scan them quickly through my memory.
My first kiss with Luke, times with Jamie, my family.
I can taste my mom’s meatloaf in my mouth, and I’m laughing.
I can’t hear Nathan’s voice anymore.
I’m relishing in all my happy times.
I’m laughing with Jade; she’s dancing around my bedroom.
I’m in Luke’s arms.
I’m an onlooker onto my past. I can’t grab that girl and tell her to change her life. I can’t get to her.
Luke’s spinning me around; he’s asked me to marry him. His lips are kissing mine, and we’re both smiling.
My favorite song is playing in my head – Heartbeats.
The song I’ll always call Luke’s and mine.
Pain runs up my arm in a sharp current. I wake up, all those happy times gone.
“Don’t fall asleep on me, Ella. Get up.”
I lift my head to look at Nathan and his gun is pointed at my face. I back away again.
“Get the fuck up before I blow your fucking stupid brains out,” he spits through his teeth.
I stand slowly and reach for the car to steady myself. Once I’m standing straight I can see how much I hate this man. I need to fight him but I can’t find the strength.
He storms toward me and grabs my forearm. “You will follow me, and you won’t scream. Got it?”
I nod. He pulls me along a dirt track for what feels like forever, and he screams at me every time I stumble. We reach what looks like a warehouse and I look around at my surroundings. There is literally nothing here. He shoots the padlock on the chain and it makes me jump. He lets go of my arm and pulls away the chain holding the doors together. They open easily, and he pushes me inside.
It’s empty. I run to the opposite side of the warehouse and try the door. It won’t unlock. I can hear Nathan’s footsteps approaching me from behind and I turn around. I run to my left and end up behind him. He turns around and fires the gun at my feet.
I fall to the ground and he laughs. “Nowhere to go, little woman. Scream all you want. Fight all you want. You got nowhere to go.”
I scream, its ear piercing, and Nathan barges toward me. I scatter to my left, toward the door he just unlocked. I reach it and try to unlock it. What the…?
“You think I’m stupid? I’m not, Ella. I can keep you here until I kill you. Because that’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to kill you.” He waves his gun as he talks.
Why am I so scared? I turn to face him. “You won’t kill me.”
He tips his head back and laughs. “I won’t kill you? Are you kidding me? I fucking will!”
His hand is wrapped around my throat before I can utter a response. He trails the gun slowly up my thigh and stops when he reaches my panty line. He drags it across my pubis and up toward my breasts. I take deep, calming breaths, but the gun is loaded; a fear is instilled in me. He’s continued north with the gun, and opens my mouth with the muzzle of it then slides it in. I let him. I can feel the cold metal on my tongue and I close my eyes.
“Open your eyes. I want to see you die.”
“You’re crazy,” I say through the gun barrel in my mouth.
He pulls the gun out of my mouth. Creeping the gun up his side, he holds open his jacket and slides it into the pocket. “Crazy. Me? No, my beautiful. I’m a plain maniac. I want to kill you. I would do anything to see your body suffer in pain, desperate to be fixed. To see the strength slowly leave your soul, and watch it drown in the destruction I created. I want to rip that life from you limb from limb, and let you see that in death life is better. That in death we can be together.”
I swallow and open my eyes. His eyes skim mine and he pulls back completely.
What? He walks backwards and places his hands on his head in distress. He turns around and looks at me.
“I don’t want to kill you, Ella. We were good together, you know? We were and you fucking know we were. We had the best time.”
I sink to the floor because my legs and brain are not co-operating anymore.
“We could have been something. I could have married you!” He pulls the gun back out of his pocket.
I need… I have to say something. “We still can, Nath. You don’t have to worry. We can be whatever you want us to be.”
His expression softens. It’s working. “How can we be together when another man’s baby is inside you?” He holds the gun to his temple. “How could that child ever love me? I’m fucking vermin. I don’t deserve any happiness.” Sweat drips from his brow and he looks a fucking mess. I take him in for a second. His white tee shirt is filthy, like he hasn’t washed in days.
“Please, just drop your gun. Come sit here and talk to me. We can talk through this. We can help ourselves.” I look at him, and if you were to see him walk into a bar like I did, you would see the attraction. Leather jacket, ripped jeans, perfect strong jaw. Abs to die for. He’s every girl’s walking fantasy. “I think you could easily meet someone, Nathan. Marry them, have a happy life.”
He looks at me, disgusted. “I don’t want any other girl. I. Want. You.” He runs toward me and I use my heels to back me into the wall. He stops. “See? You’re terrified of me. I need to get rid of you, of us. We could die together.” He contemplates his words. “Yeah. We could be happy then.”
He’s lost it. Completely. He killed my best friend in cold blood to show me he’s around. He tried to get to Luke, to my family. I can’t take this anymore. I need to win him round. “Fine.”
He falls to his knees. “Can I kill you first? I want to see the woman who destroyed me die.” He spits his words, and I know his anger could trigger him to shoot me at any second. Tears fall from his deep, dark eyes. “Why did he do that to us, Ella? Why did he try to pull apart our perfect relationship?” His saliva is spitting at me through his clenched teeth. “Why did you choose that mother-fucking-lowlife over someone like me, huh? Is his dick two inches bigger? Does he make you come like I do? Of course he does, because you’re just the whore with the open legs, twenty-four-fucking-hours a day. God, I’m so fucking angry with you! At him!” He turns and shoots the gun at the ceiling,
I move away from him again, desperate to try finding some way out. Come on, Ella. Find that fucking inner strength. You will not die today. I reach for his boot but he kicks me again, causing dizziness to float throughout my mind.
****
I awake to a damp smell and a disgusting long arm over my waist. I push his arm off me and stand quickly. I look around, and walk over to the large wooden doors again. I can’t escape. But why hasn’t he tied me up?
“There’s nowhere to run to, Ella. I told you that.” His voice curdles in my gut, making me feel the need to vomit immediately. I bend over and vomit on the ground, the color, green. My body is desperate for water. I push my hair away from my face and pull off my sticky denim jacket. The heat in this place is unbearable. I turn to face him and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.
“Why did you do it? Why did you kill her?” I spit at him. I storm toward him and he laughs. I keep heading straight for him and he retaliates by pulling out his gun and aiming it at me with two hands.
“Fucking come any closer, I’ll kill you.” I stop walking. “I won’t hesitate.” His eyes are black, deep, and filled with rage
. A few strands of hair cover his eyes, showing me how much he really has changed. He was never a normal guy, always one to make everyone’s lives suffer with abuse. But he was never this careless.
I find some strength from the pit of my stomach and look up when a large four by four comes crashing through the locked doors at the other side of the warehouse. Nathan jumps to his feet and grabs me from the floor. He turns to face me. “Who did you call?” I don’t answer. “TELL ME WHO YOU FUCKING CALLED?”
“I didn’t call anyone! You took my cell, remember?” I’m sobbing now, my breaths slow. I know I’m going to pass out.
He pulls my cell from his pocket and notices a flashing arrow in the corner. “We’ve been fucking followed! By your millionaire boyfriend!”
He’s not my boyfriend.
Nathan twists me and holds the gun to my temple. I’m his bargaining tool. Harrison steps out of the car, along with Luke. A few cars follow in behind them with around ten or so men exiting the vehicles. My heart finally starts beating at the sight of Luke.
“Nathan, don’t do this. If you fucking hurt a hair on her head-” Luke shouts, and starts to move forward before Harrison pulls him back.
“She’s fine, you son of a bitch!” Nathan shouts. He turns to me and rests his forehead on mine. “I want to be with you forever. We can die and be eternally happy.”
“What about my baby?” I whisper, terrified.
“Your baby too.” He licks my earlobe.
Before I can say anything, Nathan is on the ground. Luke has a gun pointed straight at me. I duck down with him, terrified, and Luke runs toward me. Nathan’s still alive; he shot him in his leg. He’s writhing in agony on the floor.
I feel Luke’s arms around me, and he lifts me and runs with me to the car.
He opens the door and puts me on the backseat. “I’ll be right back,” he whispers, and strokes his fingers down my cheek. He closes the door and I watch through the windscreen.
Luke walks up to Nathan and lifts him up. He punches him in his gut, his face, and back to his gut again. I turn away. If he’s going to kill him I can’t watch. I can’t let him. I open the door and step out, but my body’s rigid. I put my hand to the pain, the pain on my ribs. Why am I hurting? I pull my hand away and crimson drips from my fingertips. I’m bleeding. I’ve been shot. I feel my body fighting the pain, trying to fix me. I fall out of the car, my strength has fallen away, and it’s dripping away with the blood. I fall to the ground, hard, and Harrison runs to me.
“Ella?” I look up into his blue eyes and try finding something positive to focus on. “LUKE!” Harrison yells, and I turn my head to see him running toward me.
“Ella? Ella, please. What’s wrong?” Luke’s voice is panicked, and it scares me.
“I think Nathan shot her,” Harrison mutters, and pulls out his cell.
“Hey,” Luke whispers, and strokes my hair from my face. “It’ll be okay. Paramedics are on their way, and I won’t lose you. I can’t fucking lose you.” He rests his forehead on mine and puts my fingers in his. I don’t have the strength to grasp them. “I can’t lose you.” He pulls me into his arms.
Darkness comforts me in its blanket, and carries me away.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Hospitals are so boring. They’re filled with death, with pain. I hate them. Nathan gave me a puncture wound, nothing too serious. I’m scarred but I’ll be okay. I asked the nurses to keep my personal life to themselves and to not tell Luke anything about my pregnancy.
My nurse, Ashlee, walks in and gives me a perfect smile.
“Hey, Ella.” She takes a seat next to my bed. “I’m going to ultrasound you now, okay? To see if the baby is okay.”
I smile the hardest I have for weeks. “Okay.”
She stands. “Great! I’ll be back in twenty to scan you. Also, after that, you can go home.” She leaves.
“Okay,” I say to an empty room.
Did this week really happen? Everything became perfect; I was dealing with Jade’s death. Luke introduced me to our new home. We made love in almost every room. I swallow back my tears as those memories come back to me in full-blown color; terrorizing those feelings and making them flicker alive. The feeling of loss twists my emotions, tightening every second, reminding me of what has happened. I could’ve died. Luke lied to me. He told me Nathan was dead. He put me and Jade in this danger. This is his fault. How can I forgive him for that?
Because he made you believe in true love before you knew what it was.
Ashlee comes back in with a machine; it has a small screen and a keyboard underneath. “Don’t panic. I can see how far along you are now. Are you sure you want to do this alone?”
I stare at her and contemplate telling Luke for just a second. “Yes,” I say, hesitation coating my tongue. I cringe when the cold gel hits my small, swollen tummy, and breathe in deeply when she starts to move the gel around with the device needed to scan the baby. I breathe in and close my eyes. A deep, slow beat fills the room and I turn quickly to look at the screen.
“That’s the baby’s heartbeat,” Ashlee says, and I’m entranced with the images beside me. The black mist on the screen looks alien to me, but I watch in fascination. Ashlee points to the screen. “And that’s the baby.”
I scrunch my nose up and look at her. “It’s just a dot,” I say, and Ashlee laughs.
“It’s not just a dot, Ella. It’s your baby. Do you want me to print you a picture?”
I nod, and she presses some buttons on her monitor. My life has drastically taken a turn away from the life I wanted. It’s heading down a damaged road. How can I deal with what’s happened? Luke told me Nathan was dead, when in fact, Nathan killed my best friend. That wouldn’t have happened if Luke had have been honest. Like a light switch flicking on in my mind, I see everything. I see why he approached me to begin with. I see why he did this. I see why he asked me to go home with him for the holidays. I see his good intentions.
But those intentions also killed my best friend.
But he did this for you.
He did this to save you from a human who thought hurting you was okay.
He never asked for Jade to be killed.
He never asked to be punished for making you safe.
I swallow back the bile forming at the base of my throat, and I barely notice Ashlee giving me a small piece of paper. I stare at the image, my child embedded in ink on the white sheet, and I smile.
My baby is alive. I am alive. After all we’ve been put through, we’re still here. I stare out of the window; the sunshine is pouring in and heating my cold skin.
The door slams open and Leona barges in. I immediately retreat into the bed as if it’ll save me from whatever she wants. I hide the photo underneath my pillow.
“YOU!” she screams, and slams a finger into my arm. “Are nothing but a cheap little whore. I hope he was worth it.” Her blonde hair is in a messy bun on her head and her skin is free of makeup. She looks really affected. She scoffs and turns away from me. “I know you told him you saw me, but you need to tell him the truth. He won’t believe me. But he’ll believe you. His little employee with cheap-looking tatty shoes and messy hair. What did he ever see in you?”
Does she not realize I was kidnapped yesterday?
“You’ve lost me.” I pinch the bridge of my nose as a headache arrives.
“I know about you and Luke.”
“I gathered that much. I’m guessing you’re more upset over the fact that I saw you making out with some guy just before Christmas?”
She claps. It really fucking grates on me. “She has brains! Yes, that’s what I want you to retract. Tell him you were lying. Otherwise I’ll tell him you’re pregnant. Luke knows he can’t leave me. My father will pull all ties with him. You know who my father is, right?” She laughs gently. I shake my head. She laughs again. “My father is Jeremy Francs. He practically runs this city. He has shares in Luke’s business. He basically owns Luke. He can’t afford to lose him.” I s
tare into her deep eyes, into her infidelity, into her poisonous mind. “So you see why Luke can’t afford to lose me.”
I scan my thoughts for anything that can help save me right now. If this is the truth then I can’t afford to let Luke lose all he has built. Can I? I’d be the absolute soul destroyer of him and his company.
“I’ll text him. But I need to get away for a little while. Now that Nathan is behind bars, I can actually roam wherever I want for a bit.”
She tilts her head at me. “Who’s Nathan?” she asks, curiosity on her tongue.
I sigh. “He’s no one. I’ll message Luke, tell him I was lying. But you have to promise you won’t tell him either. If I’m going to keep him out of the baby’s life, I have to cut us both out.”
“Deal.” She walks out, leaving nothing but a foul smelling perfume circling the room.
It all makes sense. Why he hasn’t been in contact. Why he is being ridiculously distant and only seeing me when it benefits him. I pull out my cell and look for Luke’s number. I open my messages to three new ones. All from Luke.
Leona knows that I know. She also knows about us.
Ella? Please reply to me.
I’ve seriously fucked up. I’ve ruined everything.
I bite my tongue to stop my tears as I type out my goodbye to Luke.
It’s a shame we are who we are now.
I’m sorry you can’t be saved, that I can’t be that for you.
I hope you live a long and healthy life with Leona,
and that she brings you all the happiness you deserve.
I’ll try my hardest not to love you.
My selfishness got the better of me.
Leona didn’t cheat on you.
I lied.
I just needed you and you kept running away.
Forget about me.
Thanks for saving me. A&F.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The apartment reeks of memories. My fingers trace along the walls as I head for the kitchen. I’ve come back to LA just for a few days to see Jade’s apartment, and to give myself a well-deserved break from everything.
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