~
“Gone where?”
“Harley took her,” said Atom. “After you left, which is to say, after we threw you out and humiliated you. Harley had a chopper on the roof.”
“She grabbed Candy and they split,” said Blendo.
Canary stood up. “Harley . . . my granddaughter?”
Zammy continued. “She was ranting about the future of robotics and Les Grossman and the iCandy project and ridding the world of robots and taking Candy someplace where no one would ever find her.”
Canary returned to his seat, slowly, as Zammy’s words sank in.
“Well, that complicates things a bit,” said Danny.
“Which is why we’re here,” said Atom.
“We want to help,” added Blendo.
Rony took a step forward. “If you’ll let us.”
“Look, Mister Olivaw,” said Poo, “as soon as Harley said that she’s in bed with that fat-fingered fuck Les Grossman, we all realized how stupid we are. Harley’s been playing us, funding the Palace as a kind of false flag operation so she can use it as evidence that robots kill people and should therefore be banned. It’s because of her that our livelihoods have suffered. There’s three things in life that you don’t fuck with: a man’s automobile, his woman, and his livelihood. And Harley and Les Grossman are fucking with my livelihood. They’re fucking with it big time. I can’t get a movie made to save my life. I can finance it myself, but I can’t get a distribution deal. All I’m left with is doing stand-up comedy. Which I love, don’t get me wrong. But stand up doesn’t pay the bills. And momma needs a new pair of shoes, figuratively speaking, so that I can kick them off in a fit of joy one day when all this is over and things are back to normal. So, whatever it is that you’re planning, I want to help. I’m in.”
“Our livelihoods have been destroyed as well,” said Atom.
“That’s right,” said Blendo, “this new wave of anti-robot sentiment ruined our careers by driving our show off the air. We’re accustomed to busting things. We’re ready to bust some heads. We’re in.”
“For sure,” said Rony.
“All the way,” added Bella.
“We want some payback,” said Rukara.
“So do we,” said Zammy. “Delilah and I. See, we began Robot Palace as a non-profit organization designed to improve human-robot relations. But it has somehow evolved into the instrument of death you witnessed this evening. It’s been perverted. And now it’s being used against me. I’ve got nineteen separate lawsuits filed against me right now. Every single one of them filed by an anti-robot organization covertly funded entirely by Les Grossman. He’s trying to out-litigate me, making me go broke on attorney fees and court costs. And it’s working. I’ll be damned if I’m going back to delivering burritos on my bicycle. If now is my chance to stick it to Grossman, I’m in.” He put his arm around Delilah and pulled her close. “You’ll have to ask her yourself, but I’m pretty sure my wife is in, too. Right, sweetie?”
“Damn right,” said Delilah. “Z and I started Robot Palace together. It’s been our life’s work. We’re not going down without a fight. I’m in, too.” She caressed Zammy’s face. “And don’t worry, sweetie, you won’t ever have to go back to delivering burritos.”
Delilah and Zammy kissed.
Danny couldn’t believe it. “You guys are married?”
“Twenty years in February,” said Zammy.
Danny addressed Delilah. “What was all that complimentary cocktail talk and shoving your tongue in my ear?”
“That’s called closing the sale,”–Delilah put on her sexy, breathy voice–“Mister Olivaw.”
Zammy nodded. “She does that with everyone.” Zammy turned to Bernard. “Bern, didn’t you have something you wanted to say?”
“I did indeed, sir.” Bernard faced Danny. “Mister Olivaw, I stand before you with great sadness in my positronic flow, and grief in my mental relays. Though Candy and I have cohabitated these past months, our relationship has been that of kindred friends who also work together.
“You see, I, too, experienced a break-up much like yours. I was with a human female named Prima. Prima and I were very much in love. But the growing attitude against robots, and against human-robot relationships in particular, led to problems for Prima.
“Her family and friends did not approve of me.
“This caused much pain for Prima. Seeing Prima suffer was more than I could bear. I therefore ended our relationship.
“Not a day goes by that I don’t regret what I did. I had decided to deactivate myself. But then I met Candy. She helped me to see that life is precious, even the life of a robot like me. Together we created the performance you witnessed this evening. Though, in truth, it was entirely Miss Candy’s idea. She wanted to bring true art back to the Palace. She did not condone the executions. That is how we became friends and roommates and dance partners. She spoke of you often. It was her greatest desire to be with you. You should know, however, that she was deeply hurt by what transpired between the two of you. That is what led to Miss Candy’s downward spiral. But I believe that if you want to be with her and are willing to fight for her, she will return your affections most ardently.”
“I concur, sir,” said Howard. “I have studied the manner in which Miss Candy looks at you. It defies the known laws, and seems to defy the very essence of robotics itself. If there is the possibility of a reunion between you and Miss Candy, I feel comfortable in saying that everyone in this room wants to help.”
All around the room, everyone was nodding and voicing their agreement.
The doorbell chimed.
Howard answered the door and returned with Tim, Maggie, Issac, Nik, Gali, Copper, and Turing. They took turns greeting and hugging Danny.
“We heard there was a rescue operation underway,” said Tim.
Maggie spoke next. “We all love Candy, especially the kids. So if there’s a chance of getting her back and of you two being together, we want to help in any way that we can. We’re in.”
Before Danny could process the generosity exhibited by Tim and his family, the doorbell chimed again. Howard answered it. When he came back, four pairs of red cyborg eyes came with him: Blackie, Whitey, Kong, and VanCat stood in Danny’s living room.
“What are you guys doing here?” Danny asked.
“I called them,” said Tim.
Blackie stepped forward and took Danny’s hand in his own. “We felt really bad about what happened at the Fourth of July party.”
“There was too much pressure on you,” said Whitey.
“We gave you shit about buying that ring and not being ready,” said Kong.
“Yeah,” said VanCat, “and the new song . . . and everyone watching. . . . It was too much. I know I couldn’t have handled it.”
“We’re really sorry,” said Blackie. He continued to hold Danny’s hand.
“Yeah,” added Whitey. “So whatever it is you guys are cooking up, we want to offer our assistance. We want you and that stone-cold fox Candy to be together. We’re in.”
“Yeah!” said Kong. He wore a sleeveless red and black plaid shirt, and he raised his arms and flexed his muscles.
VanCat raised all four of his arms and flexed his considerably smaller muscles. “Yeah!”
The doorbell chimed.
“Who could that be?” Danny asked no one in particular.
Blackie at last released Danny’s hand.
Howard returned from the front door with two robots, one large and black, the other smaller and shimmering white. Susannah went to the pair and exchanged a warm embrace with both of them. “Everyone, this is Moshe and his mate Tikva. They’re clients of Candy’s.” She faced Danny. “I called them.”
Moshe and Tikva stepped forward. Moshe was very tall, equal in height to Kong. “Mister Olivaw, Lady Tikva and I are sorry for your loss. But Lady Susannah has explained that a new possibility exists. Tikva and I are here to help. Were it not for Miss Candy, Lady Tikva and I would n
ot be here today. We owe her our lives.”
“Whatever is required of us,” said Tikva, “you need only ask.”
Danny and Moshe shook hands. “Thank you.”
“Robot Moshe,” said Howard, “I am Robot Howard. I noticed that in your greeting of Master Olivaw, you addressed him as Mister rather than the traditional Master.”
“Your observation is astute, Howard,” said Moshe. “I did not use the traditional address because Lady Tikva and I are sentient, sovereign beings. We have no human master. Nor should any robot.”
The doorbell chimed.
“What now?” Danny asked.
Susannah grinned. “I made one additional phone call.”
Howard returned with Helen Flanks and her robotic companion Sparky. Helen and Sparky both wore black leather, and lots of it: leather boots, leather pants, and matching leather jackets.
“Nice jackets,” said Zammy.
“Why, thank you, dear.” Helen wore a black leather bustier under her jacket. She was not ill-equipped.
Delilah eyed Helen’s bustier and whispered to Zammy, “I should totally get one of those.”
Zammy grinned. “Totally.”
Helen addressed the room. “I’m Helen Flanks. This is my lover, Sparky.”
“Good evening, everyone.” Sparky was bare chested beneath his jacket, revealing the olive-skinned muscles of his chest. He was not wearing the much-debated hood he’d worn in Candy’s office.
“We’re clients of Doctor Calvin’s,” said Helen. “Truth be known, we’ve always counted her as a friend as well. We owe our relationship to Doctor Calvin. When Susie telephoned and said you had a lead on Candy’s whereabouts, we came right over. You’ll have to excuse our appearance. Monday is Moto Guzzi Orgie night at the seniors’ center. We didn’t have time to go home and change. But we’ll do anything we can. Won’t we, Sparky?”
“Most assuredly.”
The doorbell chimed.
Susannah held up both hands. “It wasn’t me.”
“I’ll get it,” said Zammy.
Zammy came back a few moments later with a robot and a man in a yellow suit. “Everyone, this is Romeo, owner of the Six-Thirty-Six Cafe, home of the world’s best vegetarian fish. And this tall drink of lemonade is my good friend Oberon, owner of Mechanical Man.”
“Who called them?” Danny asked.
“I did,” said Zammy.
“Actually,” said Oberon, “Z called me while I was having dinner at Six-thirty-six–”
“Sampling my newest creation,” Romeo exclaimed. “Vegetarian barbecue ribs!”
“–which are quite good,” said Oberon. “I told Romeo what was happening and we came right over.”
“That tub of shit Les Grossman has been paying health inspectors to try and have my restaurant shut down for years,” said Romeo. “If I have an opportunity to stick that prick with a few regulations of my own, then honey, count me in because I am in like the latest new party drug. Only, I heard that stuff can make you go blind, so stay away from that shit.” Romeo waved his arm and snapped his fingers in emphasis.
“I heard that, too,” said Poo. He raised his arms and felt about in the air with his hands. “It’s not true.”
Oberon said, “Z told me you all might be going up against Grossman and his cronies. That sack of shit has been trying to drive me into the ground for a decade. I’ll show him for screwing around with my livelihood.”
“Poo was just talking about livelihoods,” said Atom.
“I’m a robot salesman,” said Oberon. “The day will likely one day come when robots are declared autonomous beings, which would make my job tantamount to slavery. When that day comes, I’ll gladly switch from the robot sales business to the robot adoption business. But until then, my livelihood depends on robots. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let that bastard rule the world. Plus, I sold the Pagaz units to Zammy.” Oberon and Zammy shook hands.
“How’s it hangin’, Obie?” Zammy asked.
“You know me, the water in the urinal is cold.”
“And deep,” Zammy added. “I thought you said you were going to finally burn this yellow suit.”
“Yellow is going to be the new black, just you wait and see.”
Zammy pointed to Helen and Sparky. “I think black is the new black.”
“How’re the Pagaz workin out?”
“Perfect,” said Zammy. “Not one freeze-out among them.”
“Freeze-outs are down eighty-six percent,” said Atom. “Eighty-six percent. That is significant.”
“But we did lose Rennie tonight,” said Blendo.
“No, not Rennie!” said Oberon. “He’s such a nice guy.”
“And he makes the best linguini,” said Bella.
“Can he be repaired?” Oberon asked.
Zammy turned to Rukara. Rukara withdrew his phone from a pocket of his trenchcoat (which was giving off a subtle red light), and made a call. “Hey it’s me. What’s the status on Rennie?” He listened. “And how much to fix him?” Rukara turned to Zammy. “A million five.”
“Shit, with our profit margin, that’s almost six months’ take.” Zammy turned to Delilah. “What’re we going to do?”
Canary stood. “Do it. I’ll pay for it.”
“You don’t have to do that, Mr. C.,” said Zammy.
“I want to. We’re all in this together.”
“Thank you,” said Zammy. His thanks were echoed by Delilah, Rukara, Bella, and Rony.
Danny surveyed everyone in his living room. “I’m not sure what to say. Except, thank you. I’m sure with your help, we’ll find Candy and Harley and will get Candy back.”
Laura rose from the sofa and stood beside Canary. “There’s just one problem. We have no idea where they are.”
“I do.”
Everyone turned.
Standing in the hallway, just outside the room, was Rory.
~
“I let myself in. I hope you don’t mind.” Rory went to Danny and threw his arms around him. “Sorry I’m late. And I’m sorry for ruining your life. You’re a good friend, and I love you. I want you and Candy to be together. You deserve to be happy. So does she. So, I hope you can forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” said Danny.
“I never should have opened my mouth. I should have let you and Candy be happy.”
“No, I needed to know the truth. A relationship with any chance at success has to be built on truth and honesty. It was my fault, I didn’t handle it well. We’re in this situation because of me. But I’m glad you’re here.” Danny surveyed the room. “I’m glad you’re all here. It means a lot to me.”
“So what’s the plan?” asked Floyd.
“Harley once told me about a private island where Grossman goes for vacation,” said Rory. “I’ll bet you positrons to popcorn that she’s there.”
Danny grinned.
Chapter 35
All Night Long
It was after midnight. Santa Monica airport was deserted. The airfield was dark, punctuated by the rows of blue lights on both sides of the taxiways.
In his hangar, Danny performed the pre-flight walk-around of the Viper Jet. The pre-flight inspection was as much a ritual as an inspection. It was time used to connect with the aircraft, to rediscover its nuances before climbing inside the cockpit and experiencing the magic of flying. The Viper Jet hadn’t been in the air in almost four months, not since his night flight with Candy. This inspection had to be thorough.
The fluorescent lights overhead brought out the shine in the black and green paint. Danny ran his hands gently over the aircraft. He searched for cracks or dents, loose screws or unseated rivets, as well as any dripping fluids. With a clean, soft cloth, he removed the remnants of dead insects accumulated in flight. Small black splotches, tiny wings, and small bodies that crunched when he wiped them away.
He began at the cockpit and worked his way backward and around, the way he always did. He squatted beneath the wing
s and inspected the landing gear. He checked the wings’ leading edges and the full travel of the control surfaces, including ailerons and elevons.
He reached into the cockpit and flipped the Master switch to On. He walked quickly around the jet. All lights were on and functioning. This was to be a night flight. Illumination was critical.
With the checklist complete, Danny took up from the shelf a clean cloth and a small can of micro-acrylic cleaner. He sprayed the windshield and canopy with the cleaner and waited for it to foam. Once the distillates had penetrated the microscopic pores of the acrylic, Danny wiped it away. The canopy was left deep-cleaned and shining. Cinderella always rode in a carriage right and perfect.
Satisfied, Danny towed the jet out of the hangar. Ten minutes later, he was strapped snugly in the cockpit, engine at idle, and completed the last items on his Before Take-off Checklist.
He advanced the throttle a bit to get the jet rolling, and used the rudder pedals to steer as he taxied onto the runway and into position. He aligned the nose wheel with the white runway centerline.
He glanced at his rear-view mirror. At the seat behind him.
The seat was empty.
The last person to sit there was Candy. Everyone had offered to ride in Danny’s airplane. Howard had been particularly insistent, until Canary reminded Howard that he was needed to pilot one of the other two jets.
No, the seat was reserved for someone special.
Danny was coming back with Candy in the passenger seat, or he wasn’t coming back at all.
That much he had already decided.
He advanced the throttle to take-off thrust. The engine wound up, Danny removed his toes from the brake pedals, and the Viper Jet tore down the runway.
In moments he was ripping through the night sky, sailing out over the ocean, and toward the rendez-vous point.
~
Danny circled the Viper Jet in the sky over Santa Barbara Island, the smallest and centermost of the eight Channel Islands. Santa Catalina was another of the eight land masses. Danny could see lights along its coast as he banked left and circled southward.
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