Scarred by Love

by C. A. Harms

  We ended up with a group of fourteen walking into Sony’s. It was close to one in the morning so the place was used to drunken college kids strolling in. I rode with Riley and when she walked to a Black Chevy Camaro convertible I did a double take. I was expecting some cute little bubbly girl car.

  “This is your car?”

  She nodded and laughed, “Yeah.”

  I shook my head lightly; damn this girl was sexier by the minute.

  ***

  The waitress took my order and Riley got her cheese fries. I felt like I needed to talk to her more but with all these people that came with us I knew I would have to wait.

  How do you tell a girl that you feel like you were meant to meet her without her thinking you’re a freak. I wanted her to know who I truly was and I wanted to know everything about her.

  Breathe Zander….

  “So Z…you like my sister huh?”

  I tapped my straw against the table to remove the paper and looked over to meet Riley’s eyes. “Hell yeah I do. If she wasn’t so stubborn I would have saved her from getting wrapped up with Grant. She thought I was a player though.” I smiled and then looked back to Carson.

  “That kid is a fuck man…he was a major buzz kill.”

  “Thank god I don’t share that trait with him. The only similarity between him and I is our eyes.”

  Carson’s eyes shot up and he looked back and forth between Riley and I. “Wait…you and Grant are related. No fuckin’ way.”

  “Unfortunately his dad is my sperm donor. He’s a piece of shit though. I grew up without him around and it seems I turned out the better man for it.” I needed to get off this subject, the last thing I wanted to do was talk about Grant.

  “Damn.” That was Carson’s only response. I chuckled at his shocked expression though.

  “MAX!” Riley yelled to a tattooed guy that came through the door. He had another guy with him and he started in our direction. She squeezed past me and hugged him. I felt a pinch of jealousy.

  “Who’s that?” I asked Kate.

  “Calm down killer…it’s her brother.” She laughed.

  I turned to look back at Riley and could now see a slight resemblance. Max was a mean looking dude. Sleeved tattoos on both arms. The guy had some guns too. His eyes flipped up to find me as Riley talked to him.

  I knew at that moment I was being sized up and I felt a little sense of nervousness kick in high gear. I tried to remain chilled as they started walking toward the table.

  “Max this is Zander…Zander meet another one of my brother’s, Max.”

  I stood from the table and now was eye to eye with Max. I extended my hand toward him, “Good to meet you Max.”

  He stalled for a minute before shaking my hand. He still hadn’t said anything. Riley jabbed him in the ribs. “Don’t be an ass Max…I mean it.” He looked back up at me.

  “Never again man,” he was looking directly in my eyes. “Treat her right or this time Carson won’t have to clean up the mess. I’ll beat him to it. She’s got four brother’s…just remember that.”

  I stood tall and I could feel my jaw begin to twitch. I had no idea what his fuckin’ problem was or what he was talking about. I tried to keep my anger dialed down. “Got it…and I have no intentions of mistreating Riley. A real man knows how to treat a lady…I ain’t no punk ass boy.”

  The tension in the room was so thick at that moment it could have been cut with a knife. I think everyone was watching, waiting for the next move. What the hell was this dude’s problem?

  Just then Max cracked a smile and I heard Carson laugh. “Good…that’s what I need to hear.” He turned to face the waitress, “I’ll take a large chocolate shake…and put it on Zander’s tab.” He turned back to face me, “He owes me one for allowing him to date my sister.” He slipped into the booth next to ours and I then allowed my shoulders to relax.

  “Sorry about him…he’s just overprotective. That was so embarrassing.” She hung her head and covered her face. I raised her chin by placing my finger under it.

  When our eyes met I whispered, “You heard him though…I get to date his little sister. He approved it so now you gotta date me right?”

  “Yeah, I guess so.”

  Fuck why did we have to be sitting here with all these people and in front of her brothers? I wanted to kiss her so damn bad. Instead I placed my hand onto her back and led her into the booth.

  Chapter Thirteen

  ~Riley~

  I could have died of embarrassment I swear. Max had freaked me out for a minute but ever since Parker he was more on guard when it came to me. He never got a chance to meet Grant which is the guy apparently he needed to give that speech to.

  The guy is more fake than that blond girls tits from the bar earlier. I laughed to myself remembering her expression when she saw Zander take my hand into his.

  “What are you smiling at?” Kate asked from across the table. I shook my head to brush it off.

  “Nothing.”

  I watched Zander carry on with both of my brothers. Max had calmed down quite a bit and that was a huge relief. I knew now that he was taking the time to get to know Zander so I sat back and allowed them to carry on with one another. I let my brothers hog him even though I wanted to talk to him myself.

  Zander’s hand slid over mine and he began playing with my fingers. I couldn’t hold back the grin that spread across my face. He made me feel giddy, it was crazy. Seriously my stomach fluttered from just a small touch, what the hell was I, twelve?

  Once his fingertip lightly brushed my knee the chills spread over my legs and arms. He laughed and I blushed. Face in hands…what a spaz. What was wrong with me?

  “I’m outta here chumps. My girl gets off work in fifteen minutes.”

  I turned to see Max getting up from the booth next to us. “What girl Max…you don’t have a girlfriend?”

  “My girl Riley…not my girlfriend. Bree.”

  “Are you still toying with that poor girl? That’s just cruel. You do know she likes you right? …Like really likes you and you just keep stringing her along.”

  He winked, “I like her too Riley, especially in my bed.”

  “Ah, honestly she’s someone’s daughter and someone’s sister. Would you approve of someone treating me like I was just some piece of ass?”

  He turned back to face us but when he answered my question he looked straight at Zander. “Hell fuckin’ no I wouldn’t…I’d kick his ass.” Then he smiled and looked at me. “She isn’t just a piece of ass Riley, trust me sis.” He winked and left.

  Sometimes he frustrated me so much. He has been playing with Bree’s feelings for over a year now and he wouldn’t commit to her which drove me insane.

  We all made our way outside after paying our bills.

  “Riley, I figured I would ride home with Carson if that’s okay? Then you and Zander can talk or…whatever.” Kate wiggled her eyebrows suggestively when she said “whatever”. I just shook my head at her and smiled. She walked off before I could answer and left me standing next to Zander.

  I turned in the direction of my car and Zander followed me. I swung my keys around my finger. “You wanna drive?” He grinned and took a step closer to me.

  Zander placed his hand onto my hip and came really close to me. I looked up into his eyes and waited for his next move. I thought for sure he was about to kiss me. Instead he reached around my other side and eased the keys from my fingers. I smiled and then he kissed the tip of my nose.

  “Hell yeah, I wanna drive.”

  Silly boys and sporty cars, I shook my head and climbed into the passenger side as he shut my door behind me.

  When we pulled into his driveway I looked at the cute little house up ahead. “Nope not over there,” he pointed up above the garage, “Up there.” Zander took the keys out of the ignition and handed them to me. “You wanna come up for a little bit?”

  Instant butterflies filled my stomach. Was I ready for this? Already? “Riley, no
t for the reason’s your thinking…just to talk, that’s all.” He brushed my hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ear. “We never got to talk much tonight so I thought if you wanted to you could come up and hang out for a bit.”

  I couldn’t speak; I just nodded my head and followed him upstairs.

  When he opened the door it was more than I expected. It was small but comfortable. He had a little living room area with a kitchenette that was a lot like mine at the apartment. His bedroom was open to the rest but he had dividers set up for privacy. There was only one room that had a lot of space.

  “It’s not much but it works.” He said from behind me.

  “No, it’s nice. Really.”

  I felt his hand on my lower back as he nudged me in further so he could close the door behind us.

  “You want something to drink? I got beer, soda…water?”

  “Um…sure, whatever.” I felt so unbelievably nervous. Maybe I should have left. I wasn’t sure I trusted myself here… alone with him. He turned from the fridge holding two beers in hand. He popped the tops and walked toward me holding out one. “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  We stood there staring at each other for a few seconds before I looked away.

  I followed him to the couch and he turned on the television. We talked for a while about the band and how they started. They had been playing together since they graduated high school. It was more of a hobby and they had no intentions of making it more.

  “So what do you wanna be when you grow up Zander?”

  He smiled at my question. “When my mom got sick I kinda gave up all my plans. I spent a lot of my time taking care of her ya know. She was sick a lot from the chemo and radiation. I used to want to go somewhere with my football career. I gave up football though last year. I hurt my back pretty bad and I figured walking everyday had some importance to me.” He chuckled when I smiled. “So then I started looking at other options. My mom pushed me to make some choices until she couldn’t push anymore. I remember though right before she died she said ‘Don’t lose sight of who you are Zander and who you were destined to become’.” His eyes seemed glossy and he took another drink of his beer.

  I waited for him to continue.

  “I’ve been interning at an architectural firm. I wanna build shit.”

  It was a simple statement and it made me laugh. “Build shit, huh?” He smiled in return, nodding his head.

  “How about you Riley, what are your plans for the future?” He set his beer down on the table next to mine. I watched while he stretched his arm out behind me.

  “Journalism.” I breathed as my stomach fluttered from his closeness.

  His fingers brushed my shoulders and the chills returned instantly. I watched closely as his other hand toyed with the edge of my skirt. My breathing picked up and I was internally counting to ten to calm my racing heart. When I looked up into his eyes they were full of heat and desire. I fought against it for a few seconds and when I could no longer hold back I tilted my head up and kissed him.

  Zander’s hand gripped my thigh and I slid mine to the back of his neck pulling him closer. I couldn’t tell who was moaning more him or me. Our tongues rolled together and he bit my lower lip causing me to whimper against his mouth.

  My body took over immediately leaving my mind in the dust. I rose up and brought my leg over his lap. I straddled him and pushed forward. “Mm, Riley.”

  I didn’t want him to stop me so I brought my lips to his to quiet him. I let go of all my fears and melted against Zander’s body.

  When both of his hands gripped my bare thighs under my skirt I grabbed for the hem of his shirt. With one quick pull he raised his arms and allowed me to pull it over his head. His chest was chiseled and so sexy. The tattoos ran across his shoulders and down his arms. His stomach muscles were tight and defined leading down to the perfect V before disappearing below the waistband of his jeans.

  “Do you approve?” He caught me checking him out and I giggled. I felt like such a girl. I was drooling at the sight of his body.

  “Definitely.”

  In one quick movement he picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He walked through the back of the room and lowered me down onto his bed. His body covered mine as we began to kiss once again. I didn’t want to think about it…I just wanted to let go.

  “Riley maybe we should stop?”

  “Shh.” It felt too good to stop. I have spent months hiding from life. I was ready to let go and live again. Zander made my heart race and the excitement of being with him was flowing through me full force.

  Zander ran kisses down my neck, reaching for my shirt and sliding it up to expose my stomach. I grabbed for my shirt and lifted it up and over my head. He took me in a few seconds before he smiled and lowered himself down onto me once more.

  I felt him leave a trail of kisses down my neck and chest. His tongue traced my stomach and I arched my back up bringing myself closer to him. His lips made their way back up my body until he met mine once again.

  “You are so beautiful Riley…so damn sexy.” He whispered between kisses. I was lost in his words and the feeling of his hands and lips. All at once his body covered mine completely. His door had flown open and then someone started yelling.

  “Z, where are you? Beth is fuckin’ hammered man and she won’t get outta the fuckin’ car. She said she wants you.” The guy Mark from the bar walked around the divider wall and found Zander scrambling to cover me up with a shirt that he grabbed from the floor.

  “Oh fuck dude, I’m sorry. SHIT!” He bolted back toward the front door and Zander looked frustrated. He ran his hand through his hair. I laughed and he relaxed a little.

  “Sorry about that. I forgot to lock the door.”

  The interruption brought me back to reality and I was kind of glad. The last thing I wanted was for Zander to think I was easy.

  “Don’t worry about it. I should probably get home anyway.” He groaned and then shook his head slightly back and forth, disagreeing. I couldn’t help but giggle at his cute response.

  “Yes…and Mark needs your help.”

  He leaned down and kissed me again before pushing off the bed to retrieve my shirt. He helped me lower it down over me before brushing my lips once more with his.

  “Remind me to get a deadbolt for my door…okay.” I smiled and he chuckled before taking my hand and I followed him outside.

  Mark wasn’t lying, Beth was a mess. She was lying across the backseat mumbling something about Zander. “Wow, she is really out of it huh?” Mark looked at me with apologizing eyes and I smiled in return to let him know it was no big deal.

  Zander led me to my car and when I opened the door he came up behind me. He was so close I could feel his entire body against mine. He kissed my shoulder and whispered against my ear.

  “Tomorrow…can I see you?”

  I nodded without saying a word. I was so turned on by his closeness but I had to hold it together.

  “How do I get ahold of you?”

  I let out a slow calming breath as I turned around to face him. I reached into my purse and pulled out a pen. I didn’t look up into his eyes because I knew I would cave. I reached for his hand and flipped it over facing his palm upward.

  After I wrote my number out onto his hand, I looked up into his eyes. “Call me.”

  His lips curled up in a grin that almost brought me to my knees. His lips covered mine sweetly in a slow seductive kiss. Was he seriously trying to kill me? I felt like I was gonna pass out.

  “I’m gonna get Beth inside before her mom comes out and beats her ass. Then I’m gonna take a very cold shower.” I smiled and he groaned. “I’ll call you in twenty minutes to make sure you made it home okay. Then we can make some plans for our first real date. Does that sound good?”

  “Yes…sounds perfect.”

  I drove home with butterflies in my stomach. I felt like I was on a high. I was excited and wide awake even though it
was close to three in the morning. I silently cussed myself for not talking to him more at the first party I met him. I had almost missed out on Zander because I was being a pigheaded brat.

  No more…I was letting my guard down. It was time to give in to the feeling I had when I was with him. It was time to allow myself to feel something for someone again and something was already telling me with Zander it wouldn’t be hard to fall.

  Chapter Fourteen

  ~Zander~

  With Beth and Mark crashed on my couch I knew I couldn’t say much to Riley but I couldn’t wait to call her. After the third ring her soft whisper came through the phone.

  “It’s only been sixteen minutes.”

  “I couldn’t wait the other four…are you home yet?”

  “Yes, I only live about five minutes away from you.” She laughed.

  “You serious?”

  Another laugh, “Yep…did you get Beth inside?”

  “She puked outside twice and then Mark and I drug her ass up the stairs. She’s passed out on my couch snoring. I’m not sure how Mark is sleeping alongside her but whatever.”

  I loved Riley’s laugh. It gave me goose pimples along my arms every time.

  “Tomorrow I kinda already had plans. I made them last week with a few people but I want you to come with us.”

  “Zander it’s okay. I don’t want to ruin your time with your friends. We can do something later or even Sunday.”

  “Riley you’re not ruining anything. Please, I want you to come.”

  “Okay but where are we going?”

  It was my turn to chuckle, “Well I’m gonna keep that part a secret until we get there. This way you can’t back out. Just wear jeans and sneakers.”

  “Should I be scared?”

  She honestly sounded a little nervous and I couldn’t help myself. “Probably, just a little.” I heard her gasp causing me to smile. “Goodnight Riley. I’ll call you later and let you know what time I’m picking you up.” I hung up and couldn’t for the life of me wipe the smile off my face.