Pretend Princess With Benefits: A Royal Fake Marriage Romance

by Lara Swann

  “Derek, I don’t know—I can’t—” I hiss at him, glancing back to the man obviously waiting very impatiently. “I have to go change, at least!”

  The man interrupts us, talking curtly to Derek and I can feel Derek’s frustration as he gives a biting response. He turns back to me and his expression almost immediately smooths into an apology.

  “I don’t think we’ve got time, Hanna. The train was late, so they’ve been waiting in official presentation for over an hour, and…well, that never puts anyone in a patient mood—”

  “You’re telling me I have to meet your parents - the King and Queen - like this? While they’re already frustrated and uncomfortable, and I don’t know anything about—”

  “It’ll be fine.” He says, with an obviously forced smile. “This is on them, not us - they’re the ones that want this to happen right now. They’ll understand that you haven’t had time to change.”

  I get that nervous-anxious feeling in my stomach again. I’m pretty sure that’s not the way it works - but telling him that isn’t going to help anything, so I bite my lip.

  “Okay, okay.” I finally sigh in resignation.

  This is his country. His parents. He knows what he’s doing - all I ever agreed to was going along with what he wanted.

  And hell, if his parents are anything like him they’ll probably just make a joke of the whole thing, right? It’ll be fine.

  We’ll all laugh about it later…

  I tell myself that as we follow the stern man through the corridors, and I cast a mournful glance back at the idea of the bed I was promised.

  “This is a short thing, right?” I ask quietly.

  I’m really not up for several hours of ceremonial affairs right now. Okay, being honest - I’m not sure I’d ever be up for that. But particularly not now.

  “Yes, at least this one is simple - it’s simply their official welcome, and your acceptance of it.”

  “Right.” I nod. “Wait, what - acceptance? What do I have to do, Derek?”

  I hate not knowing what I’m doing, and I can’t remember the last time I felt so out of my depth.

  “Just shake their hand and say something nice. It’s fine, really.”

  I breathe deeply.

  Okay.

  That sounds like something I can do.

  We follow the maze of corridors until we come to another large, arched wooden door - with another two guards on either side. These ones seem largely ceremonial, though, with crisp, ornamental uniforms that would probably get in the way in a fight, and large wooden poles that extend down to the floor.

  When they see us, they stiffen immediately, and the man in front of us falls away as he gestures us forward. Derek squeezes my hand, and then lets go, and I feel oddly bereft without the warm touch that is starting to become familiar.

  The doors open inward, and then there’s a loud bang that makes me wince - followed by two more.

  “The Prince Frederick Augustus de Salducco, and his Princesca-attenciano.”

  Oh god.

  I start freaking out a little bit, just inside. I’m not sure I’m fully prepared for all this official stuff. For all Carly’s fascination with ancient lineages and royal customs…it’s never been my thing. If I’m honest, I find the whole thing quite pretentious and unnecessary - fine for hundreds of years ago, but now?

  Derek starts walking forward, with the kind of regal bearing I don’t think I’ve ever seen from him in college. I swallow as that hits me, but I don’t have a choice, and I walk with him - into a beautiful, ornate room.

  My eyes dart from one part of it to another, taking in the amazing decor, the stone pillars lining either side of it and the high, arched ceilings. It’s surprisingly empty of furnishings - just the raised dias at the end with…oh, right. Yes. That’s what we’re doing.

  Get a grip, Hanna.

  I stop gawking like an ill-mannered kid and try to straighten up, wishing for the first time in my life that I knew how to be graceful and elegant.

  We walk into the center of the room, which is still a good distance away from the people on the dias. They’re all dressed in fine, elaborately decorated clothing that looks stiff and heavy to my eye, and I suddenly understand Derek’s comment about official presentation and not wanting to keep them waiting any longer. By contrast, I’m sure I look…no, wait, I don’t want to think about that.

  The the King and Queen in the middle - obvious from their bearing and the crowns I immediately spot on both - are sat on the only furniture in the room, two deeply polished wooden chairs with winged backs and a plush presentation. Thrones, I guess.

  Actual thrones. I feel like I’m in some kind of movie.

  But the younger man stood to the left of the Queen and the elderly woman stood to the right of the King…I’m not sure who they would be.

  We stand there in silence as they stare at us, with me trying not to imagine what they see.

  Then Derek starts talking in an official voice that I’ve also never heard from him. It’s in English, though, which I guess is for my benefit, and I silently appreciate the consideration.

  “Father, my King. Mother, my Queen. May I present to you the woman that I have chosen to join our family - my Princesca-attenciano, Hanna Cook. Please welcome her into our court.”

  I sneak a glance at him, wondering how the always-laughing Prince Derek can keep a straight face saying all that. But somehow, he is. And I sternly remind myself that laughing isn’t an appropriate response for this occasion on my part, either. I can’t read Derek’s expression very well, but if anything, he seems tense - and that’s enough to refocus my attention.

  Back onto the King and Queen…who don’t exactly seem pleased. In fact, none of the group at the end of the room look impressed - the younger man is almost glaring at us. My skin prickles again, and I hope it’s not obvious how awkward I feel.

  It takes me all of two minutes to work out that this stern group of people are nothing like Derek - and my hopes that we’ll all end up laughing about this in the end disappear in an instant.

  Stony silence greets Derek’s words, and this starts feeling like that moment when you walk into the canteen at college for the first time and look around to see everyone watching and judging you…only this is so much worse. I can feel Derek getting more tense beside me, and I’m not sure what we’re supposed to be doing now - I want to ask him what’s going on.

  So much for having plenty of time to talk through what all this Princess stuff means. Damn it.

  My head throbs in the quiet room and I wish I could reach up and massage it, but I have a feeling that would be frowned upon. Even more than I’m already being frowned upon.

  Yeah, agreeing to come and be judged by Derek’s whole country…what the hell was I thinking.

  After what feels like far too long, the King raises himself slowly to his feet.

  He spreads his hands out towards us, and finally responds. “You are welcome here, Princesca-attenciano. We will hear your petition, son.”

  As he says it, I could swear he’s scowling, and I get the feeling that I’m not exactly welcome at all.

  Great.

  Well, at least it’ll work for Derek’s attempt-and-fail plan. And in the meantime, I just have to hang out with a bunch of people who don’t like me at all…maybe it’s the exhaustion, but as Derek leads me up onto the platform, I find myself getting annoyed at their attitude. Okay, so this isn’t the best impression - but I’m supposedly a foreigner that their son wants to marry…don’t I get a bit more leeway than that?

  “My brother, Nicolas Alexander de Salducco, Crown Prince of Aldora.” Derek says.

  I look up, blinking. Did I know he had a brother?

  They look nothing alike, either.

  I find myself thinking that as I go to shake his hand, Nicolas’ severe expression glaring down at me. Instead of shaking it, he takes my hand as lightly as possible in his and brings it briefly to his lips, giving a small bow over it.

&n
bsp; “Princesca-attenciano.”

  Oh. So that gesture wasn’t just Derek being dramatic. He actually learned it. Fuck me.

  I try to smile at him, which only gets a disapproving glower in response.

  Well, fuck you too, then.

  I think back at him, even though I know it’s probably uncharitable.

  “It’s an honor to meet you.” I say instead, hoping it sounds sufficiently official - and not at all like it’s actually a pleasure.

  Then I greet the Queen - who kisses me briefly on the cheek, and wrinkles her nose as she leans back. I try not to groan in embarrassment. Damn train. She’s a delicate woman with fine features, and while her expression is more reserved than in any way positive, at least she’s not actively frowning at me like the men.

  I step past her a moment later to the King, who looks at me like I crawled out of somewhere unpleasant, and I start feeling awfully tired of this reception.

  “My father, Charles Nicolas de Salducco, King of Aldora.” Derek introduces, and the King just grunts. He actually grunts at me, and after a moment I think that’s all I’m going to get.

  My ire spiked, I smile sweetly back at him instead. “Thank you for the generous welcome, your Majesty. Truly, I’m surprised Aldora isn’t known throughout Europe for its hospitality.”

  Derek snorts beside me, bringing his hand to his mouth and turning it into a cough as the King’s eyes widen - then narrow. This time, I step past him without the urging from Derek to remind me, and smile at the elderly woman to the side.

  She looks me up and down - the only one who has done so openly and it’s obvious her eyes are considering and judging me. But I’m so used to that being a common habit in older women that I don’t actually mind it - I’ve worked alongside that for the last two years, and I’ve always enjoyed that work. Besides, she at least seems to be weighing me up, rather than disapproving outright.

  So my smile becomes more genuine as Derek steps up beside me to make the introduction.

  “The Queen Mother, Adele Esther de Salducco.” Derek says, then murmurs. “My Granna.”

  She looks between us, then nods and steps forward to kiss my cheek as well.

  I’m silently grateful that she doesn’t seem offended by the smell, and then Derek is leading me off the platform and out of a door to the side that I hadn’t even noticed.

  The moment we leave the hall, his arm comes back around my waist and I grip the thick muscle of his forearm, my body sagging slightly against him.

  “Fuck my life.” I mutter.

  “You did great.” He squeezes my waist, and I stare at him.

  Was he there for any of that?

  “I think I offended all of them - just by being there.” I bite my lip.

  “They were just irritated at having to wait in all those stupid outfits for so long.” He says with a shrug, and I squint, not sure whether to believe him.

  “I turned up looking - and smelling - like nine hours on a plane followed swiftly by twelve hours on a train. I think it was more than their outfits.”

  “They’ll get over it.” Derek really doesn’t seem bothered about it, so I start hoping that maybe it wasn’t as much of a disaster as I thought. Maybe that was all in my head. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d overreacted to a situation where people might be judging me.

  Then I remember how I’d responded to it and groan.

  “And I deliberately offended your father.” I point out, as we start walking slowly down the hall. I’m so glad there’s no one else around - but the royal family haven’t followed us out, and I guess that’s not how the welcome ceremony goes.

  Derek laughs, and his eyes are sparkling as he turns to look at me. “That was the best part.”

  I shake my head, feeling like he’s not taking this seriously at all - but I can’t deny I’m a little relieved to see his usual attitude back. When he started getting all serious in there was when I really started worrying.

  “I’m not sure…” I start.

  “C’mon. Let’s find your room, and you can get some sleep. I’ll smooth over whatever needs to be fixed, I promise.”

  I hold his gaze for a moment longer, but that sounds like an offer that’s far too appealing to pass up, and I nod. I’ll just have to trust him that I haven’t offended anyone too badly - but they’re his family. He knows what he’s talking about.

  You hope.

  We navigate back through corridors I’m sure I’m never going to remember, but I get the impression we’re going further into the center of the castle - and then we climb a wide staircase and I feel like I’ve finally found the alive part of this building. The lights are on, there’s chatter and noise around us, and people walking up and down the long hallway we end up on.

  There are doors all along it, but Derek walks down to the end and turns the corner before stopping in front of one.

  “Here.” He says, opening it. “Mikhael said this was the room prepared for you.”

  I blink at him, sleepy at the very thought of finally finding a bed. It might be mid-morning here, but with jet-lag and being awake for the last twenty-four hours, if not thirty-six or some crazy number…I felt like I could sleep right through into the next day.

  “Aren’t you staying here too?” I ask, confused.

  His mouth twitches into a smile. “Disappointed?”

  I just scowl at him and he shakes his head.

  “The Princesca-attenciano doesn’t share a room with the Prince until they’re married - as I said, Aldora is quite a modest society.”

  I stare for a moment. That modest society had birthed the most notorious playboy in our classes?

  “But…if you want, Princesca…there are a few ways around these things. It’s been known to happen.” He winks, and I shake my head immediately.

  “Sleep. That’s all I’m interested in.”

  “If you say so…I’ll leave you to it, then.”

  I nod, then block the door before he can close it on me. “Wait. Where are you going to be? How will I find you?”

  “There’ll be a page waiting here for when you wake up - just ask him and he’ll take you wherever you want to go, or get you whatever you need. I’ll show you more of the castle after we both get some sleep.”

  My skin prickles with discomfort at that idea, but I’m too tired to argue, or even care that much. I can deal with trying to work out this Princess thing in the morning. I mean, night. Or next morning.

  Ah, who the fuck knows.

  “Sleep well, Princesca.” Derek says with a smile, then lifts my hand and kisses it, giving the kind of little bow that his brother did earlier. Only this time, it tingles as he lets go.

  “Goodnight.”

  I close the door before thinking that actually, it’s not night time.

  Then I see the bed, and forget about everything else.

  Chapter Six

  Derek

  I leave Hanna to sleep, and then slump against the wall outside with a long sigh.

  Well, that went well.

  I’m not sure what my parents were playing at but that was ridiculously unfair - on both of us, but Hanna in particular. I feel bad dismissing her concerns about finding somewhere to change before we arrived at the castle, but I honestly didn’t think it would go like that.

  She liked the castle as much as I’d thought, at least, and maybe when we’ve both caught up on a little sleep I can make it up to her by showing her around.

  I’d like that. More than I thought I would, too.

  After a few moments I drag myself up and walk slowly towards my own rooms - on the other side of this little courtyard square. I didn’t get a chance to show her that, either.

  Maybe when she wakes up…

  My mouth tugs up at that, and I’m surprised how much I like the idea of spending more time with her. Showing her my home. Even if, so far, this trip has had very little to recommend it.

  And that meeting with my parents didn’t go well. Not at all.

  B
ut I’ll be damned if Hanna thinks that was her fault. They’re just good at being bastards when they want to be.

  I’ll deal with that when I wake up, too. And spin them the whole trying to fulfil my duties story. That should get me some credit, at least, since I’ve adamantly refused to consider a Princesca-attenciano before now.

  I’m halfway around the long corridor when Mikhael comes into view again. I throw a scowl in his direction, then steadfastly ignore him.

  As my father’s steward, he and I have had a mutual enmity for each other for about as long as I can remember. The kind that builds up over years of demands, completely unjustified superiority…and maybe a few pranks, too. Okay, a lot of pranks. But the guy deserves it - lording a position he doesn’t have over me - me, a Prince. He’s always been perfectly respectful towards Nicolas, but no…suspicion and hostility was all I ever got.

  Unfortunately, as I make to walk past, he steps into my way again.

  “The King requests your presence, Frederick.” He says, in the clipped Aldoran tone that I swear he reserves just for me.

  See? No Prince, no respect, and no acknowledgment that the King happens to be my father.

  I raise an eyebrow. “What for?”

  “State business.”

  Which means he doesn’t know. But he’s not going to admit it to me.

  “I haven’t slept in over thirty hours, Mikhael - as I told you earlier. Tell my father I’ll speak to him later - I’m in no fit capacity to help with state business right now.”

  His lip curls at the order, and he shakes his head sharply.

  “The King was insistent.”

  I give him a long look. I don’t know how true that is or whether he’s just trying to make my life even more difficult, but it’s not hard to believe. After the introduction Hanna and I just had…it wouldn’t surprise me if my father wants to talk to me.

  But right now? For fuck’s sake.

  Not wanting to give Mikhael the satisfaction of my irritation, I give him a curt gesture to lead the way instead. His frown deepens, but he turns to walk back in the direction that I just came down with Hanna.

  “Come with me.”

  I roll my eyes at the oneupmanship but follow anyway. I’m too tired to waste time in verbal sparring with Mikhael - and hopefully the sooner this is over with, the better.