“I don’t know what to do,” Axel mutters, then pulls my hair together and winds it around his fist.
I hiss in pain as he pulls my hair down and kisses my neck. The blanket falls onto the floor with a quiet puff and I bring my fists up to my chest.
“I don’t know what to do,” Axel growls into my ear.
He sounds like he’s angry.
His fingers lower the strap of my nightdress, exposing my breast, and he pinches my nipple. The pain from his touch causes flutters of desire to diffuse into my veins. My pussy clenches with need. My body surrenders to his demand, but my rationality makes me pull forward.
“Sive,” Axel rasps as our feet tangle with the blanket, and I fall forward.
He supports me as I gently land on all fours and feel him right behind me. His hands touch my lower back, then move down and shove my ass so I lie down on my stomach, sprawled on the wrinkled blanket.
The sound of fabric tearing startles me as my panties fall off me and Axel moves atop me, crushing my body with his. He parts my thighs with his knee and drives his hard cock into me. I stiffen with pain, but it’s better than previously. The pain is pleasant, arousing.
“Fuck,” Axel says as though he’s gritted his teeth. “It’s so good. It’s so good in your hot little pussy. You’re so tight.” He grinds his hips against my ass and a little whimper comes out of my mouth. “Just relax, baby, and take me.” His hand slips under my tummy and he lifts me so I kneel in front of him, impaled on his cock, and panting.
My hands seek support so he turns us towards the couch, and I clutch the edge of the seat cushion. Axel kisses my temple and his fingers brush my tummy then move down to my pussy. He gathers up my nightdress and rubs my clitoris with his thumb. Flutters of pleasure waver through me and mingle with the stretching pain he’s causing me. My elbows bend and Axel encircles me with his arm to prevent me from falling forward. There is more heat in my tummy and more throbbing between my legs as he massages my clitoris in circles and suddenly, I have no control over my primal instincts. My body wants more and more and faster and faster and my ass pushes against his hips. I want it rough. I want the pain. I want this dirty pleasure to consume me.
Axel moves inside me, strokes my clitoris harder, carries me higher and higher, my body tauter and tauter. I cry out my need for release, digging my fingers into the couch. It’s like I’m ascending in delirium then falling a bit, rising again, almost touching my peak and descending again. Axel works my clitoris expertly and thrusts into me faster, bringing me closer and closer to my ultimate ecstasy until my back arches and my whole being shatters.
My head has a dense fog as a strong palm grips the back of my neck and my cheek rests against the blanket. My ass is in the air as Axel thrusts into me. He works me hard and fast as my body rocks back and forth. He goes deeper and deeper until I’m nothing more than this painful divine sensation of being fucked without mercy. Of being full and stretched. Of two bodies being one.
My cries are laced with hoarseness as he pounds into me even harder and stiffens behind me, moaning his satisfaction. There is something magical in this moment, elemental, and ultimately intimate.
Axel’s palm slides from my neck and I lift myself to all fours, then turn to him sitting on my heels. He rolls his eyes in a haze and zips his jeans up, then stretches his legs and pulls me to him. Our lips meet and we melt into one another.
Axel growls into my mouth. “My little mermaid.” He rises to his feet, cradling me in his arms like a child.
“A-xel,” I say and stroke his cheek.
My whole facial skin was scratched by the unshaven roughness of his, but it’s a nice feeling. His seed is dripping from me, but I ignore that.
I want him to tell me what all of that means, but he only tightens the embrace around me and carries me to bed. To our bed. He strips and we lie on our sides, facing each other.
“A-xel.”
“What, baby? You want something to drink?”
I shake my head.
“So sleep.” He strokes my hair and kisses my forehead. “I love you, ya know, you are everything to me.”
My heart skips a beat, then starts pounding. I’m not sure whether I heard him properly. Maybe my brain just imagined that because I wanted to hear those words so badly. I take a deep breath and his mouth covers mine.
“That’s okay, Sive, one day you’ll love me too. I’ll make you love me.”
I want to scream but my body tenses and my breathing becomes convulsive. I hate it. My hands search for his body to reassure him at least this way and I cling to him with such strength like my life depends on that.
“You will have your gallery,” Axel murmurs, “and you’ll cook for me. And I will take care of the rest. Sleep. We are going to Blaze’s place in the afternoon. For a barbeque.”
I close my eyes, but we kiss and my body demands more. I run my palms up and down Axel’s back and he kisses me deeper, frantically, then moves on top of me, spreading my folded legs wide apart, and enters me in one firm thrust. I almost come at the sensation of being rooted like this. My ankles cross on his back as I pull him to me and bury my face into his neck. He pumps into me as my body rocks beneath his. It’s too rough, too fast so I dig my fingers into his back and bite on his shoulder to stifle my cries.
Axel fucks me relentlessly until I rise into forgetfulness. He growls his pleasure and collapses on me, knocking the air out of my lungs. My mind drifts into oblivion.
Axel
I watch her and everything is so clear to me. I can’t imagine myself how it was before. When she wasn’t present in my life. When I didn’t love her.
I love Sive for everything that makes her her. Or maybe I just want to love her. Fuck it. The conclusion is the same. I want that mute chick to stay in my bed forever.
Tomorrow, I’ll take care of her properly. I’ll worship her body at night because she deserves that. It will not be like before. Before it was my desperate attempt to keep her close to me. To lose myself in the peace her body entangled with mine was giving me.
I’m so selfish that it intrigues me. My need to own her is endless. I gave her no choice and I’m not going to. She. Is. Mine. Period.
I have a nap but it’s like being aware and drifting among blurry images in my head. Like my mind is desperately clawing at the state of awareness. Like there is a subconscious fear inside me that I’ll fall asleep, wake up after, and Sive won’t be lying beside me.
Greyness spreads across the bedroom as the world freezes in the transition between day and night. Sive rolls on her side with her back towards me and my palm moves down along her arm to the indent of her waist and over her ass, tasting and memorising her lush softness. Pale pink paints her cheeks and a few droplets of sweat shine between her breasts.
My fingers close around my hard cock and I move closer to her. I need her one more time, just for a moment so I line up my cock with her entrance and enter her in one firm thrust. I don’t even try to be gentle. The animal in me needs it rough to shake all the doubts and fears off my head. Sive shudders and her pussy clamps around me. Her wide unconscious eyes meet mine and a little whimper comes out of her mouth.
I tumble her on the stomach and push into her harder. She smells of sex, of me; she is dirty, marked by me, and it makes me feel insane.
I fuck her selfishly, enjoying every small whimper she emits, and my orgasm rolls over me like a violent avalanche.
Sive hums my name as I enclose her with my body and fall asleep at once.
Heat and a delicious smell wake me up. The bedroom smells of home. My body jerks up and my eyes roam over the bed. Sive is not beside me.
“Sive, where are you? I growl with fury.
I jump out of the bed and slip into my jeans, then go downstairs and notice that Sive is bustling around the kitchen as two homemade cakes on the table plead me to taste them. I go to the bathroom, brush my teeth then join Sive. She beams as I lean over the cakes and attempt to grab a piece. Sive grips my ar
m and tells me something in sign language. I’m pretty sure that she’s swearing at me.
“Just a tiny piece,” I say.
Sive growls and shakes her head, then hands a plate with scrambled eggs to me. I sit at the table and eat my breakfast as she spreads a piece of paper at my right elbow. My eyes flick over her handwriting. It says:
Can you inform me in advance about your decisions about my life? It will make my life less surprising.
“Sure,” I say with a full mouth. “Any other issues?”
Another letter speaks to me:
Can you stop fucking me like an animal? I can’t move.
“I love you like this, Sive, and I will fuck you like an animal.”
Another letter. It’s getting funny. I read it and my heart leaps.
I love you with my whole heart. I loved you the moment I saw you for the first time. You are my angel.
Warmth washes over my heart. It’s the kind of warmth that makes you unable to react, deafens you like you are inside a huge bell ringing and makes your heart squeeze with both pain and joy.
I nudge the plate and my lips search for hers. We kiss, but it’s crazy and frantic like she tries to breathe in me and I try to breathe in her. I devour her and she devours me. It’s a kissing frenzy, almost as good as fucking. No—
Equal to fucking, but different. Our bodies try to merge together and even that is not enough like we want to touch and feel one hundred percent of one another.
I kiss her neck, scratching her skin with my teeth then she does the same. My palms stroke her arms as do hers, hard and impatiently like we have a fever. Like a real fire will incinerate us at any moment. I never expected that such simple touch could be so sensual and intense.
The bang of the front door tears us from our madness, and Zane strides over towards us. He smirks and tosses back his hair, then his eyes travel to the cakes.
“Don’t even think about it,” I say.
“Kolya has just collected the money,” Zane says. “He asked me to remind you about the job.”
Sive hands a plate with scrambled eggs to him and something heavy sits on my chest.
I nod. “After the weekend.”
“I can do that,” Zane says.
I shake my head. “No.”
Sive tilts her head and stares at us.
“Just the garage stuff, baby,” I say.
Zane grabs Sive’s letters, sweeps his eyes over them, and erupts into laughter.
“Put them back,” I warn him.
Zane stands behind Sive, kisses her cheek, and wraps his arms around her chest.
“Leave that animal, Sive,” he says, “and move in with me. I will be gentler with you.”
“Take your hands off her.”
“She’s family now. I’m just trying to be nice to her.”
“Get out, Zane,” I growl.
Zane kisses Sive’s other cheek and returns to the garage.
I run my fingers through my hair as my eyes slide to Sive’s feet. “You need a pair of nice shoes, I guess.”
Sive’s glance travels to her naked feet and she nods at me. I rush to the bedroom, pull on a t-shirt and my cut, then join Sive and take her for a walk to the town. She squeezes my hand with hers and turns her head in every direction as we saunter along the main road. It would be nice if—
If every man didn’t gape at her. Even women shoot her curious glances. And Sive is completely unaware of her influence on people. I’m not going to enlighten her. It would spoil her rotten.
I buy her a pair of sandals and show her the tobacco shop. Her joy makes me happy. She’s excited and shaky as we explore the dark interior. She seems to love every inch of that place.
As we walk slowly to the house, she talks to me in sign language. I don’t understand anything for shit, but I’m even happier. That unearthly creature is hopping beside me like gazelle, sighing, gasping and gesturing furiously. Her face shows so many emotions that I feel touched like never before.
What else would I want in life?
At five fifteen, Sive packs her cakes and Ma picks us up. Ziggy is sitting in the passenger seat. He has shaved his ugly face, has put on clean clothes and hasn’t touched alcohol yet. Ma’s face brightens at the sight of Sive and she starts bombarding her with questions.
“My ears will explode, woman,” Ziggy mutters and smacks his lips.
“Cover your ears with your palms then,” Ma says and continues her interrogation. “Does Axel feed you properly every day, sweetheart?”
“He doesn’t,” Ziggy says. “Can’t you see that the girl looks like a skeleton?”
“A-xel,” Sive hums and clings to me.
In the rear-view mirror, I see Ma’s lips curling into a smile.
“Her speech is worse than mine,” Ziggy comments.
Soon, we pour out of the car, and I pull Sive behind me to Blaze’s garden as Ma helps Ziggy. I don’t even try to offer my help because Ziggy’s glance would kill me.
Sive breathes heavily as we immerse ourselves into the green space filled with smoke, the smell of grilled food, laughter and chattering. About twenty people have attended; they are drinking beer or eating. Gunner is playing the guitar. Blaze’s three kids squeal and run across the yard. The women deliver food and drinks.
“It will be nice,” I say and my palm squeezes the back of Sive’s neck.
Blaze approaches us, hugs Sive and smacks me on the back. His lady shoots a curious glance towards Sive.
“Where did you find such a cute girl?” Maria asks.
I hand the bag with Sive’s cakes to her. “On the road. She waited for me to save her.”
“So romantic.” Maria looks into the bag and her full lips part in a smile.
She’s at least ten years younger than Blaze—an expressive and very curvy brunette. Blaze married her two years after his first wife had packed her belongings and left him.
“Do you want a glass of orange juice, Sive?” Blaze asks. “Or a glass of milk?” He winks at me and Maria nudges his chest with her elbow.
“O-rangge,” Sive says and smiles at our hosts, honestly like only she can smile.
My eyes roam over the guests and meet Wendy’s glare. I didn’t expect that bitch to be here.
Whatever was between us it’s over now. She should make peace with that.
Chapter 19
Sive
I notice Wendy at once and my stomach flutters like I have a horde of flies inside it. She flashes me a bitter smile. Another woman approaches us.
“This is Mia,” Blaze says.
“This is Sive,” Axel says.
Mia glances at me, her lips curling into a polite smile, and we shake hands, but I have a vague impression that she hates me. I’m almost certain she was Axel’s woman once or twice. It is as though people who had sex together are bound with invisible strings one’s subconscious can detect.
My insides seize with a consuming fire. I feel angry and helpless. It’s a bit like Axel doesn’t belong to me, only to all those women from his past.
Maria loops her arm through mine and pulls me behind her. Axel nods at me as she leads me across the garden past the swings towards Amanda who bursts into laughter next to Gunner. I look over my shoulder and see Wendy joining Axel, Mia and Blaze. She kisses both Axel’s cheeks and loops her arm through his.
Somebody’s hand strokes my cheek and my glance meets Amanda’s.
“Don’t pay attention, sweetheart,” Amanda says.
Maria hands a white plastic cup with orange juice to me. “Axel has lost his head over Sive completely. I can’t recognise him.”
“Me too,” Amanda says as her knuckles brush my cheek. “Is he treating you well?”
I bob my head at her. Her son is treating me like a little princess for the majority of time. In the meantime, he’s using my body in whatever way he fancies. Not that I complain. I like it very much.
“Wendy is desperate,” Maria says with sarcasm and tilts her head towards where Wendy is hang
ing on Axel. “You two gossip and I’ll cut Sive’s cakes.” She walks off.
“Break Wendy’s nose,” Amanda says. “She is a coward without dignity. I’m telling you.”
I nod at her and catch Ziggy’s glance. He is sitting in the plastic armchair. A cough fit torments him for a moment, then he brings a bottle of beer to his lips.
“Women love bikers,” Amanda continues. “You have to keep your eye on the ball. Boulder didn’t keep his dick in his pants once. The boys... Well, it doesn’t matter now.”
“Mmy mmum chea-tted onn—“
“On your father?”
I smile at her.
“You know the pain then,” Amanda says.
I squeeze her hand with mine and a sudden impulse pushes me to fall into her arms. She stiffens at first and a wave of embarrassment goes through my chest but then she wraps her arms around me and draws me closer to her. I’ve never experienced such warmth from my own mother. Amanda’s arms feel so safe. Stable and long-lasting like rock. It is as if she is sharing her strength with me.
A big calloused palm moves up and down my back, and I pull away from Amanda. Boulder is standing next to me.
“Are we going to adopt her?” Boulder asks. “You said you didn’t want more children.”
“I said I didn’t want more sons,” Amanda says. Her face sharpens but I can’t read whether it’s anger or sadness. “Let’s get rid of the boys and adopt Sive.”
“Axel has adopted Sive,” Boulder says, “but I’m happy to produce a little girl with you.”
“We are too old,” Amanda says.
“You look like you are twenty,” Boulder says.
“You see,” Amanda says and nods at me. “Prince charming.”
I have an impression that Boulder’s attention makes her nervous.
“Let’s focus on making sure that Axel and Sive will produce grandchildren for us,” Amanda says. “Sive’s children will be beautiful.”
“Five beautiful kids in our garden,” Boulder says. “Can you picture that, Amanda? I’ll start building swings for them. We could take them for holiday. Imagine yourself, you, me and the kids.”
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