“Boulder, you are getting old,” Amanda says.
“I guess I am.” Boulder runs his palm up and down Amanda’s arm. “It would be fun.”
“It would be fun,” Amanda says. “You, me and the kids.”
Boulder nods at her several times and his eyes turn glassy for a moment. Something brushes the edge of my consciousness like a refreshing spring breeze. Something liberating, sprouting like new life in spring. Something fragile between Boulder and Amanda.
I smile at Boulder, then at Amanda.
Boulder chuckles. “She is adorable.”
“She’s a little angel,” Amanda says.
I look over my shoulder and notice that Wendy is stroking Axel’s cheek.
“Bitch,” Amanda says. “She knows he’s here with you.”
Boulder shakes his head and curses under his breath as I watch Axel who takes Wendy’s hand off his face and growls something to her. She pushes at his chest and backs up as his eyes meet mine.
Well, I decide to behave like a coward and shake Amanda’s arm.
“To-ilet,” I say.
“Go through the back door, cross the kitchen and it will be on the left,” Amanda says.
I don’t waste time and hurry to find refuge in the bathroom. Two kids cross my way and I almost bounce off them. Passing Zane and Dash, I enter the kitchen, glance at Maria putting pieces of my cake on the plate and go to the bathroom. Heavy footsteps chase me and strong arms encircle my chest from behind.
“Sive.” Axel kisses my cheek.
I’m mad with him. I should be mad with Wendy, but my whole frustration centres on him. Jealousy is eating my insides like I have a horde of maggots in my chest. My body wiggles in his embrace, and he pulls the bathroom door open, shoving me inside. I turn around and watch him closing the door.
“What do you want me to do?” he asks. “Kill her?”
“Kkill themm all,” I say as tears well up in my eyes.
I’m angry with myself. My behaviour is childish but I can’t help it. Why is it so difficult? I want all the women of the age between eighteen and forty to evaporate so they won’t seduce Axel. It’s the lack of dignity, but I have no control over my instincts.
“It could solve a few problems,” Axel says. “I will kill every chick who dares look at me and you will kill every dick who dares look at you.”
I bob my head at him and he leans towards me. His mouth covers mine as his tongue parts my lips and we kiss like before. Like we are insane. Like we’re the last two people in the world.
Axel shoves his hand between my legs and his fingers slide under my panties. I push at his shoulders, but he pins me to the tiled wall and immobilises me with his body pressing against mine. His finger parts my folds and slides into my pussy, fucks me almost violently. Axel’s mouth grazes my neck.
“Nno,” I say.
Not in somebody else’s bathroom. It would be rude. I squeeze his shoulders with my hands, but he bunches my wrists and pins them to the wall over my head. His mouth covers mine and kisses my moans of disapproval.
Axel lifts my thigh and wraps it around his hip. My back pushes up the wall as my other foot tears off the floor. He opens his jeans and moves the lining of my panties to the side, driving his hard cock into my pussy, rooting me. Making me weak in both shock and pleasure.
My muscles tense up as my whole body absorbs the sensation of being full and stretched. Axel pulls out then goes even deeper. I rest my forehead against his. I don’t breathe and I don’t move. I just feel him.
Axel releases my hands and wraps my other thigh around his hip. His breath puffs into my ear as his finger slips into my mouth.
“Suck it, Sive.” His tongue touches my ear, and he bites my earlobe as my lips wrap around his finger.
I taste myself. A hint of salt and seaweed pricks my tongue. Axel pulls his finger out of my mouth and slides his hand under my panties. I feel his finger moving along my ass crack and pushing at my other opening.
“Nno, A-xel.”
He silences me with a kiss, gathers my wrists, and his finger pumps into my ass, knuckle deep. I writhe against him at the stinging sensation from my tight hole, but he kisses me deeper, steals my breath and moves his hips against mine. I surrender to his demand.
My body shakes at this mixture of pleasure, pain, and novelty. Axel slowly thrusts into my pussy as his finger moves in a circle in my ass, stretching me. It’s like there are too many sensations to bear. Too much heat, too much tension, and too much of a dirty bliss surging through me. Urging me to seek my release. I tremble violently, take a deep breath, then scream into Axel’s mouth, ascend and shatter as my orgasm ripples through me.
Axel kisses my cheek. “Next time I’ll fuck your sweet ass. You want me in your ass, don’t you?” He pumps into my pussy roughly a few more times and rests his forehead against mine as his face sharpens with pleasure.
We steady our breaths, then Axel pulls out of me and I slide down, sitting on the floor. My inner thighs feel sticky and wet.
“Wwash yyour hannds.”
“Alright.” He raises his hands in a warding gesture, moving towards the washbasin, and turns on the water.
I scramble to my feet, tear off a piece of toilet paper, dampening it under the tap, and wipe my thighs.
My legs wobble and I’m furious. Sated and happy at the same time. Axel leans towards me and kisses my lips.
I growl with fury and slap his abs. He’s never asked about my permission. He’s never asked whether I’m on the pill. And I’m not.
He is the adult here. Let’s hope he knows what he’s doing.
I push the door open, step forward and bounce off Boulder. He glances at me with a mischievous flicker in his eyes. My head drops and incinerating heat rushes to my cheeks. I want to kill Axel.
“I don’t blame you, son,” Boulder says like he’s gritting his teeth. “She has a beautiful ass.”
I want to kill Boulder now. Or disintegrate.
I blink and a loud sound like a thunder tearing through the sky makes me freeze. Boulder leaps towards me and we fall onto the floor. His body covers mine as more thunder-like sounds tear at the air. They resemble those of the gunshots from the action movies. Then there is a ghastly silence, sticky around us like a layer of fresh snow has covered us.
Chapter 20
Axel
It was only a warning from the Cobras. Nobody was hurt. Not physically at least. One window is broken and the kids are scared.
The women’s cold eyes slide over Boulder, almost piercing his chest, unspoken reproach hanging in the air.
The women want to ask questions; they want to be reassured that the incident doesn’t mean anything serious. Yet they know they will get neither answers nor soothing words from Boulder.
I glance at Ma who is holding Sive in her arms. My little mermaid is panting. She’s developing a panic attack as tears flow from her eyes forming rivers on her cheeks.
“The fireworks you are saying?” Sheriff Grant Ruiz says and Boulder nods at him.
“The fireworks,” Boulder says.
Grant fixes his pale blue eyes on Sive and she stiffens in Ma’s embrace. Her face turns into an emotionless mask.
“What’s your name, honey?” Grant asks and watches her with narrow eyes. “Is it Sive Teagan by any chance?”
Sive sucks in a breath. “Mo-lly. Mo-lly Bbrown.”
It looks like my little Sive has a strong self-preserving instinct. She composes herself and wipes tears from her eyes, then gazes at me as though she can see my soul.
“Molly Brown you are saying?” Grant smacks his lips and rubs his round belly with his palm. “Molly Brown not Sive Teagan? Are you sure?”
“Are you deaf or what, Grant?” Ziggy growls from his chair. “The girl said Molly Brown. She is my niece. You’re scaring her, you idiot.”
“Your niece?” Grant asks as the furrows on his forehead deepen. “Since when?”
“Since none of your fucking business,” Ziggy grumbles. “Si
nce my sister forgot what dignity was. Fuck off. I’m looking after the girl now. She’s not well, can’t you see?”
“Message received,” Grant mutters, raising his hands as though to form a shield. He glances at Boulder with cold eyes. “Next time, be more careful with those fireworks.”
“No worries,” Boulder says. “Come to ours tomorrow. For a cup of tea.”
Grant nods at him as a subtle repulsion radiates from his glance and his jaw muscles twitch.
Boulder will serve him something stronger—a glass of whiskey or a shot of vodka and he will shove a tick envelop into his pocket. As always when we cause trouble in the town. It’s been like this since forever. First, Grant’s father, the previous Sheriff, ended up on our payroll then Grant inherited this privilege. The cooperation went smoothly until the Cobras appeared on the horizon.
I must admit Grant is not a greedy scum. He just happened to have three kids who started Uni. He needs money, but doesn’t need our style of entertainment. And it’s getting more and more dangerous. I can tell he’s a decent man who happened to be born in the wrong town.
Grant waves his hand at Sonia, his second-in-command and they leave the garden.
“All of you, at the office in fifteen minutes,” Boulder says.
“Ma, look after Sive,” I say.
“Sure, sweetie,” Ma says. “Go.”
“I’m going with you,” Ziggy rasps.
“You are too old,” Boulder snaps.
“Don’t fuck with me, Boulder,” Ziggy says and Dash helps him stand up and lean against his frame.
“Alright,” Boulder says, sounding exhausted, and we disperse in every direction.
Within twenty minutes, we have gathered around the table in the ‘Jilly Jet’.
Ziggy settles himself into the president’s chair and veins pop out in Boulder’s temples. Zane drops his head to hide his grin as Gunner digs his hands into the cupboard and takes out a cut. He hands it to Ziggy.
“Who said that I would stay for longer?” Ziggy says like he doesn’t care but he grabs the cut like a hungry cat would grab a fat mouse.
“It’s been the second time within four months,” Boulder says and spreads a piece of paper. It was wrapped around the stone that broke the window in Blaze’s house. “Next time they will kill one of us.”
“We need numbers to fight back,” Blaze says. “Otherwise we will have to pack our clothes and move out.”
“We are at war,” Gunner says.
Boulder props his folded elbow on the table. “Axel, you deal with that job for Samael. Zane, Gunner, you’ll deliver our warning to the Cobras.”
“We will clash,” I say, “It’s more than certain we’ll clash if we deliver the warning.”
“At certain point of time,” Boulder says. “I’ll contact Mac. His boys and he may support us.”
Mac is my uncle, but he doesn’t visit us very often for one simple reason—he is not an outlaw. His club consist of a bunch of old men finding enjoyment in eating nice food, drinking beer and riding their bikes for pleasure.
“Mac is a pussy,” Ziggy comments and smacks his lips. “He can’t even hold a gun properly.”
“But he’s family,” Boulder says. “We’ll have numbers and it may buy us more time for negotiating a sensible deal with Samael.”
The boys murmur their approval.
“If it’s really bad,” Boulder says.
“Peru?” Blaze asks and the boys guffaw.
“I thought about moving out to Europe,” Boulder says with humour. “I actually thought about the Scottish Highlands.”
“Aye.” Blaze nods. “Our roots.”
“We’ll talk about it when the time comes,” Boulder says.
Zane opens the narrow door secured with a push button lock and leans forward into our small armoury room. He takes out three guns and hands one to me. It has a silencer on the barrel.
I put the gun under the waistband of my jeans and bow my head at Boulder, then ask Dash to give me a ride home. We leave the bar and jump on his bike.
“Like I’m with a girlfriend,” Dash says.
“Shut up. You are too young to think about girlfriends.”
“Do you think, Axel?”
“You should focus on your education.”
“You’re right. Girls like educated men. Maybe one day I will meet someone like Sive and marry her.”
I slap him on the arm. “Focus on the education.”
Sive’s face flashes through my head and iciness runs through my veins.
Sive
Amanda takes me to Axel’s house. She orders me to sit in the couch and makes us two cups of tea.
As I sip my tea, she sits next to me and holds my hand in hers.
“You can ask me questions if you want,” she says.
“A-xel?”
“Yes, he is who you think he is.”
My heart stops beating and my insides feel heavy like they have turned into solid iron. Axel is an outlaw. All of them are outlaws. It means that I have to pack my clothes and leave this town as soon as possible. I have to forget about this whole experience like it is only a bad dream.
I slam the cup on the coffee table, spilling my tea, and rush upstairs, sensing Amanda right behind me. Our feet are thumping against the stairs and the atmosphere thickens around me like a storm cloud is enveloping me and sucking the air out of my lungs.
I enter the bedroom and grab my bag, but Amanda tears it away from my hand and tosses it on the bed. Her eyes burn with fury and I step back at the shimmery darkness of her gaze. She’s turned into one of them. She’s tough like them, dangerous like them.
“You think that I’ll allow you to ruin this?” she hisses. “He is happy. For the first time since that ungrateful little bitch left him. He was sixteen, ya know. He was in love, had plans.”
“I-I—“
“You what, huh? You make a man love you and you want to leave him at the first signs of problems?” She steps forward, her hands on her hips, and her frame threatens mine. “Angie was weak and stupid. But you? I know who you are. I checked your bag, sweetheart. And guess what I found? The tools used for stealing cars. How many cars did you steal, you little girl?”
“Ffour.”
“You are better than my boys.”
“I-I ddon’t wantt.”
“I don’t care. You make him behave like a human again. He’s madly in love with you. I thought I would never see him loving a woman like this and I won’t let you ruin that. Over my dead body.”
The front door bangs, startling me. My heart jumps up to my throat and a wave of nausea washes over my stomach.
“Sive,” Axel shouts from downstairs.
Amanda grabs my arm, causing pain to paralyse me and drags me behind her like I’m a ragdoll. She is a strong woman. We tumble downstairs and stand in front of Axel.
“Ma, what is going on?” Axel looks at Amanda with dark eyes, then he glances at me and his face stiffens. “Don’t tell me that you want to leave me, baby?”
Amanda releases my arm and backs up, then sits down on the stairs.
“I have to go somewhere,” Axel says as his voice has a slight tremor. “Only for a few days. Ma will look after you, Sive.” He steps forward, extending his arm towards me.
I step back and hug myself. For God’s sake, he’s a criminal. I have to leave him and this place as soon as possible.
“Sive.” Axel’s jaw muscles twitch. “I will be back in a few days. We’ll talk then, okay. Everything will be fine, I promise.”
“Nno.” I bend slightly forward with my fists clenching.
“Sive, baby, everything will be fine. Just don’t freak out.”
He really is a hypocrite. I despise criminals. They hurt innocent people and they should be in prison. My God, he might be a drug dealer or a killer. The hair on my neck rises. An unnerving thought wavers on the brink of my consciousness. He sometimes looks like a killer.
“Ma will talk to you,” Axel says and a vei
n pops up in his temple. “You can ask her whatever you want. Draw your fairies and don’t think too much.”
“Nno,” I yell as my fingers spread and I raise my hands like a cat would raise its paws to attack.
Emotions flood me like a dam has crumbled into pieces and I’m drowning below the cascades of water. I feel scared and betrayed. Unsure whether all of that is even real. My mind is a battlefield. I want to wake up from this nightmare; I want to rewind my life to the point where I was unaware of Axel’s dark side.
Axel’s head droops as he laces his fingers on the back of his neck then his brooding eyes shift to mine. “Promise me that you’ll be here when I return. Promise me, Sive.”
“Nno.”
“What if he didn’t return,” Amanda says from behind me. “Did you think about it, little girl?”
My heart turns into a burning wound like somebody has branded it many times and the tissues have gotten infected. Axel will be in danger. Why is he even doing this? Why does he want to live this dangerous life?
I want him to be safe but I’m repulsed by who he is.
“Promise me,” Axel rumbles.
Every atom of my body jumps at the tone of his voice. I feel as though a knife is stabbing my brain. My mind fills with a fog. There is a war inside me. I love the man who saved me on the road, but I despise his dark side.
“Promise me,” Axel says quietly.
“Nno.”
I can’t promise that to him. There is no future for us. Not like this, not with the gunshots during the barbeque, not with him leaving to do only God-knows-what.
Axel chuckles and shakes his head. “Ma, I have to go.”
“Come back in one piece,” Amanda says in a rough voice.
“I always come back in one piece,” Axel says, winks at me and turns back.
He walks towards the door, taking my heart with him. Everything turns numb inside me and I become a spectator of my love turning into ashes. It’s over. A sense of loss wafts through me. My body becomes an empty shell. There is no me, only a cold void.
Axel pushes the door open and freezes. Everything freezes—the time, people, and surroundings. It is as though a mechanism of cogwheels scrunches inside me, stops working then restarts but at a faster pace and works more smoothly. A realisation explodes inside me. I will be dead without him. He is my life. An invisible force smacks me on the back, shoving me forward. I gulp and shoot towards Axel. I have to stop him, tell him that I’ll wait for him. I have to kiss him.
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