Tiger- Crusade

by David Smith

  The Ship’s doctor, Commander Katrin Mengele was less sure ‘Whilst I agree with that sentiment, I would remind you that we have a significant number of civilians, or at least, non-Starfleet personnel on board, to whom we owe a duty of care. We should at least ensure they are out of harm’s way before taking any further action.’

  She paused, as if slightly confused. ‘There’s also another factor to consider. I’ve noticed an increase in cases of inebriation amongst the crew. I can’t find a particular cause and can only attribute it to stress or anxiety, presumably related to our precarious position. It’s possible the crew may not be mentally and physically capable of dealing with this situation.’

  Dave was surprised. It seemed the majority of the crew liked a drink or ten, but in his time aboard Tiger, he hadn’t found this to be any more of problem than it was on any other ship. It wasn’t as if the crew hadn’t been in stressful situations before either. Alcohol dependency would be quite understandable considering what Tiger had gone through in the last year or so, but generally the crew had dealt with stress far, far better then they’d dealt with boredom.

  The Doctor continued. ‘I’m still looking into the matter, as the data presents a conundrum: incidents of intoxication are increasing, but the level of consumption of alcohol doesn’t appear to have changed significantly.’

  It didn’t make sense to Dave. ‘How is that possible?’

  The Doctor looked uncomfortable but had to admit ‘I am unsure. However, I’m concerned that it indicates a degree of dysfuctionality in the crew: that should be a consideration when making a decision on the ship’s course of action.’

  Even the normally reluctant Lieutenant Shearer felt a need to speak her mind. ‘Aww haway man! Jus cos we’re all feelin a mite ropey, we canna jus swan aff an leavem pooer innacen Sha T’Al on Todot Hahn an Cho-dal-far an all in botha! Somebody hasta stand oop forem liek.’

  There was a brief pause while everyone considered the arguments and Dave tried to work out what the hell Shearer had said, but before Dave could make a decision, the door to the briefing room opened and Captain B’Stard swept into the room like a bad-tempered, glowering hurricane, followed by a rather uncomfortable looking Commander Ruiz.

  ‘What is the meaning of this??’ growled B’Stard.

  Dave bit his tongue and smiled. ‘Welcome, Captain. Don’t stand outside, please come in!’

  She ignored Dave’s sarcasm and leaning over the table, fixed him with a steely stare. ‘As a senior officer and representative of the office of the Judge Advocate General, I expect to be invited to all formal meetings of senior staff.’

  Dave stood up, leaned over the table himself and calmly replied, ‘You can “expect” all you want, but I’m pretty certain there’s no regulation that obliges me to invite JAG staff to an operations meeting.’

  Captain B’Stard obviously knew that Dave was right. After the briefest of pauses she admitted ‘That may be correct, but common courtesy . . . ‘

  When he looked back at it later Dave wasn’t sure why he did it. Perhaps exhaustion had caught up with him, or more likely, his subconscious told him that he probably didn’t have anything else to lose.

  Either way, Dave took the opportunity to antagonise the anally-retentive Captain, and cut her off abruptly. ‘I’m sorry Captain. We don’t have time for this. We have a serious operational emergency, and my staff and I need to formulate a plan of action. Please leave.’

  He could see the shock and indignation on her face and struggled to suppress a small smile of victory. ‘The door is behind you’ he added.

  Captain B’Stard’s jaw flapped and she made unintentional gasping sounds as she struggled to align her fury with some regulation or other.

  The other members of Tiger’s staff sat open mouthed, but clearly delighted, even more so as Dave pointedly added ‘Would you like someone from our Security team to guide you back to your quarters?’

  B’Stard’s voice lowered, and her reply was a growl. ‘You’ve over-stepped the mark, Commander Hollins.’

  She straightened her back, pulling herself up to her full height. ‘By the power vested in my by the office of the Judge Advocate General I hereby relieve you of duty.’

  ‘On what grounds??’ choked Dave.

  It was B’Stards turn to smirk. ‘Regulation forty-seven, sub-section four: “Any officer under investigation by JAG maybe removed from active duty in instances where continued service may exacerbate situations.” Basically, that regulation puts the matter at my discretion, Commander, and it’s my belief that you’re a liability at the moment.’

  Dave knew he’d been scuppered, and there were shocked gasps around the table. Even Commander Ruiz seemed surprised. Unlike most of Tiger’s crew, at least he had something to say.

  ‘With all due respect Captain, that regulation is intended to remove personnel whose behaviour maybe prejudicial to an ongoing investigation. It’s clearly not intended for a situation like this. We’re isolated in territory that is now clearly hostile, and you’ve already removed the ship’s Captain from duty. It would be inadvisable to remove the ship’s First Officer as well.’

  B’Stard span around and glared at him. ‘Thank you for your input Commander. May I remind you that I am your superior officer, and I expect you to follow my instructions.’

  Ruiz didn’t back down. ‘I don’t need reminding of that Captain, but I also don’t need reminding that I have a duty to advise you if I think you’re making a mistake. We’re in trouble here Captain, and we can’t afford to strip the ship of its command structure.’

  The air temperature in the room seemed to drop ten degrees. The Captain growled ‘We will not be stripping its command structure, merely replacing it. As senior officer, I will assume command.’

  Ruiz gawped in open-mouthed astonishment. ‘Captain, you’re not a command officer! You have the rank, but you don’t have the knowledge, training or the experience needed to command this ship!’

  B’Stard looked insulted, but at least acknowledged the issue, and calmed down a little before replying. ‘Perhaps, but as the Tiger’s previous First Officer is still aboard, I’m sure he can support me adequately.’

  Dave wasn’t convinced either. ‘Commander Joynes?? But he’s . . . I mean he’s . . . well he’s not . . . ‘

  Dave paused wondering how he could broach Joynes’ habitual and near continuous recreational drug abuse without causing further upset. He gave up. ‘I’m sure he’ll give you whatever assistance you need.’

  B’Stard smiled imperiously. ‘Very well then, it’s settled. I’ll be in command, Commander Joynes will be my First Officer, and Commander Ruiz will be my Executive Officer. As soon as we’re underway Ruiz and I will also proceed with interviews of the members of the crew who have been charged with breaches of regulations during the Professional Standards Audit.’

  There were disbelieving looks around the table, but Dave knew there was nothing he could legitimately do about the situation. Looking around the table and making eye-contact with each of the ship’s officers he calmly said. ‘That’s your prerogative Captain. I’m sure the officers and crew of USS Tiger will co-operate fully and assist you to the best of their ability.’

  ‘Excellent! My first order is to turn this ship about immediately and make for Hole . . . ‘

  The room exploded in uproar, as every member of the ship’s staff made their feelings known.

  After a minute of trying to restore order, Captain B’Stard screamed at the top of her voice ‘SILENCE!!!!’

  The hubbub quickly subsided, but the Captain’s voice was still noticeably louder than normal as she continued. ‘I shouldn’t have to remind you that as this ship’s Commanding Officer, I do not need to explain my decisions to you.’

  She glared at them. ‘Even so I would imagine it should be clear to all of you that what happens between the Sha T’Al and the Tana is none of our concern.’

  There were audible mumbles about the table, but the Captain continued regar
dless. ‘There is no state of war between the Federation and either party, and I have no intention of interfering and jeopardising that position.’

  Izzy couldn’t stay quiet any longer. ‘That’s easy for you to say Captain. This ship . . . this crew . . . has done everything humanly possible to stabilise the situation in this region . . . ‘

  B’Stard glared at Izzy and shouted over her. ‘I’m glad to hear you say that Commander! That’s an admission that you’ve broken every regulation the Fleet has ever issued on non-interference and political neutrality . . . ‘

  ‘We couldn’t just sit around and watch them die!!’ Izzy yelled back. ‘Their whole society was falling apart at the seams because of the actions of a few stupid humans! We were duty bound . . . ‘

  Captain B’Stard leaned over the table and screamed at Grosvenor. ‘DON’T TALK TO ME ABOUT DUTY!! I would remind you that I am the representative of the Office of the JUDGE ADVOCATE GENERAL. We exist to ensure compliance with Fleet Regulations and I can assure you that you have failed in your duty! Your duty isn’t to the Tana, or the Sha T’Al, it’s to the Fleet, first, foremost, and only!’

  Izzy was never one to back away from a fight. ‘I will not compromise my principles for the sake of a stupid regulation! We’re human; we have emotions and empathy to temper our decisions, to guide us through difficult times. If we stick rigidly to regulations without thought, we’re giving up the very things that make us human!’

  ‘That does not concern me, and it is not your decision to make!’ roared the Captain. ‘The regulations are crystal clear! I don’t need emotion or empathy . . . ‘

  Weeks of frustration boiled to the surface as Izzy screamed ‘That much is apparent, Captain! You’re as cold and heartless as a bloody machine!’

  Silence descended and everyone knew Izzy had crossed a line. Captain Anastasia B’Stard stared open-mouthed and speechless, her face flushed red with fury

  She seemed to be struggling to control her anger and through gritted teeth growled ’That is enough Commander Grosvenor! Consider yourself suspended from duty due to failure to comply with the direct orders of a superior officer.’

  ‘You may out-rank me, but you are not my bloody superior!’ yelled Izzy as she span and stormed out of the room.

  B’Stard glared around the remaining officers and challenged them: ‘Does anyone else have an issue with following orders??’

  There were mutinous stares around the table, but before anyone else could argue, Dave stood up and replied on their behalf ‘No, Captain, I’m sure the team will rally around you and do their very best.’

  He looked each of them in the eye again, willing them to calm down. Very deliberately he added, ‘There’s nothing to argue over, and the ship won’t achieve anything if the entire crew is suspended from duty. I’m sure everything will be fine from now on.’

  B’Stard smirked like the cat that’d caught the canary. ‘Excellent. Now, I suppose I’d better meet with my First Officer and discuss roles and responsibilities. Does anyone know where Commander Joynes will be?’

  There were blank, shell-shocked shakes of the head all around the table, while the various officers resisted the urge to comment along the familiar lines of ‘off his face. Again’ or ‘away with the faeries’ or ‘he’s on a trip.’

  They knew that Captain B’Stard would find out for herself soon enough.

  --------------------

  Joynes stepped forward, invading Captain B’Stard’s personal space and lowered his voice. ‘Ah’m always happy t’help the Judge, man, but this issue is a lil’ sensitive, ya get me?’

  Captain B’Stard bristled, but didn’t take a step back, determined to assert her superior rank. She looked up at the huge Jamaican, who towered above her, and this close to him she could smell his unique personal aroma which was a lethal mix of recreational drugs and potent male pheromones.

  She was sure she could feel heat emanating from his body and felt quite flushed herself, although she wasn’t sure why. She gave herself a mental shake and recognised that the Commander was quite at liberty to insist that any discussions about his appointment as First Officer should be undertaken in private. ‘Of course, Commander. I will book some time in the Officer’s Briefing Room and we can . . . ‘

  ‘Nah! No need for all that! We don’ wanna be puttin’ everyone else outta place. Tell you what, you com down ta ma quarters, 1900 ship’s time, ah’ll be ready an’ waitin’ for ya’ smiled the huge Jamaican with a wholly inappropriate wink.

  ‘Well really!’ huffed the Captain as Joynes turned and ambled off, but Commander Ruiz noticed a distinct flush in her cheeks as she said it.

  --------------------

  She arrived at the door to Joyne’s quarters at 1900 ship’s time on the dot. She paused, and as was her usual routine, ran through her objectives in her mind before entering.

  She wanted to clear up several issues that were causing her concern. First and foremost, as she’d suspended Captain LaCroix, Commander Hollins and Commander Grosvenor, she wanted to make sure that Joynes wasn’t a serious offender in her ongoing investigation. An officer in her position couldn’t afford to be seen to be applying double-standards: she’d lose all credibility.

  Having already interviewed all of Tiger’s senior officers informally at least, she’d got a clear impression that Joynes was easy going and placid. She was certain that he’d struggle to evade her precise questioning, and she felt sure she’d be able to manipulate him into divulging information he probably wouldn’t want to.

  Her discussions with his fellow officers had indicated that Joynes’ performance should be largely within regulations. Everyone had immediately confided that Joynes had done nothing wrong since he’d been on the Tiger, although strangely almost everyone had phrased it more along the lines that he’d done ‘absolutely nothing’ in his time aboard the ship.

  That didn’t matter. Once she was comfortable he was in the clear, she’d reinstate him as First Officer and make use of his knowledge and experience to help her command the vessel. How hard could that be?

  She’d show Ruiz and Tiger’s crew that she was capable of running a ship without breaking regulations. Prove that she was just capable as they were. Prove that she wasn’t cold and heartless. Not that Commander Grosvenor’s comment had upset her at all. She was a professional, after all.

  She gave herself a mental shake and focused her mind on her target. She pressed the call button and Joynes’ familiar booming voice answered. ‘Come in, ah’m ready for ya!’

  The door opened and Anastasia blanched as a thick wave of warm air engulfed her in heavy herbal aromas. Her eyes watered, but after a moment’s hesitation she headed in anyway. She was a predator on the hunt, and he was her prey.

  The room was barely lit at all, but she was sure she could make out thin wisps of smoke hanging in the air. Strange guitar music hung in the air too, and she had the vaguest recollection that this style of music was called ‘Reggie’ or something.

  Commander Israel Joynes was sprawled over a huge sofa wearing just a vest and a pair of tatty old shorts, and making the sofa look quite small and insignificant. The air seemed to get ever thicker as she approached him and in her naivety, she asked ‘What on earth is that smell??’

  Joyne’s smiled, ‘Ah . . . that would be . . . Mama Ganja’s herbal incense. I get terrible home-sick fer ol’ Kingston. Need a lil’ somting ta remind me a home.’

  Anastasia coughed, ‘It’s very strong? Is incense compatible with regulations concerning ship’s air purity?’

  Joynes had had to answer that sort of question throughout of his Starfleet career. ‘Not strictly in line wi’ regulations, but the Captain cuts me som slack as it’s permissible for religious purposes.’

  Anastasia was getting used to the smell now, and was oddly unworried by Joynes’ questionable explanation. ‘I suppose that’s all right then, I’m sure the Captain has given the matter all due consideration. And besides, we have bigger fish to fry.’
<
br />   She cleared her throat and took another deep breath before continuing, blinking as she did so. She felt quite strange. ‘Commander Israel Joynes, I am here as a representative of the Judge Advocate General. I am investigating a series of anolomies . . . sorry, I mean amonolies . . . ‘

  She paused. What the hell was that word?

  She shook her head, trying to clear it. He’d understand. ‘There’s been weird stuff happening and I want to get to the bottom of the barrel from your perspective.’

  That didn’t sound right.

  ‘I mean I’m here to talk to you and get to your bottom, perspective-wise.’

  Nope still not right.

  ‘That is to say, I intend to speak to you to get to the bottom of the amon . . . anem . . . stuff . . . and clarify whatever it is you lot have been up to and who’s been bloody well doing it. Am I making myself clear?’

  There, that was better. Clear, concise and unequivocal.

  She felt slightly dizzy, and Joynes noticed that she was swaying slightly. ‘Here, sit yoursel’ down ‘fore ya keel ovah’ he smiled, patting the seat next to himself. Her eyes looked watery, and she complied without question, plonking herself down heavily next to him.

  She looked across to where Joynes was sat and found that her eye-level left her staring at his broad muscular chest. She leaned her head back and looked up at him towering over her like a huge cliff of . . . male-ness.

  ‘Wudja like a lil’ drink?’ asked Joynes as he leaned forward and poured a big slug of dark liquid into a tumbler.

  He held the bottle out to her, his huge hand dwarfing the one litre bottle of dark rum.

  She looked at it suspiciously. Obviously the writing on the bottle’s label must be ridiculously small as she found herself struggling to focus on it. She took it from him and held it up to the light, squinting as she peered at it.

  Captain Jack’s ol’ Time No.4 Rum

  A traditional blend

  of finest Jamaican rum & herbal extracts