Pulse

by Amity Cross

  “Ren…”

  “Hey Dad.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were attacked?” he asked. “I could’ve helped you. We could’ve gone to the police.”

  “You did help me,” I said, closing the door behind me.

  “How Ren? Because right now I feel like a failure as a father. To both my daughters.”

  “You let me train with you. You told me the truth about you and Mum. We got to know one another.”

  “But that never let me protect you.”

  “Dad…”

  “Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked again. “Why didn’t you tell the police?”

  “Because of this, Dad,” I cried, gesturing towards the window where below, three beefed up fighters were on tenterhooks with one another. “Mistakes were made on all sides. I should’ve done a lot of things. Same goes for you, Monica, Ash…everyone. There was nothing I could’ve done. It would’ve been my word against his and with no evidence and the guy’s history with Ash… They would’ve thrown it out of court. Nothing would’ve been solved.”

  He shook his head, crossing his arms over his wide chest. “Since when does my twenty-three year old daughter know more about life than I do?”

  I cocked my head to the side. “You’re really asking me? After all the shit we’ve been through?”

  He ran his hand over his face before slumping down into the office chair.

  I didn’t know if I should ask the question, or even care after what my sister had done, but I asked it anyway. It seemed like the classy thing to do. “What are you going to do about Monica?”

  Dad sighed, spinning to face me. “She’s had a talking to, but I’m not done with her.”

  “She’s been punished all this time, Dad,” I said. “I’ve made sure of it. She understands that what she did was wrong.”

  “It’s going to take time Ren. I’m so disappointed in her.” He shook his head yet again.

  Monica had been the apple of his eye, his beautiful princess who could do no wrong. It wasn’t until I came along and shook things up that everyone realized just how bitchy the princess could be. Monica Miller was not the angel he’d believed she was and that had to fuck with his head.

  “Maybe now,” I said carefully, “she can become a better person.”

  Dad glanced up at me. “I hope you’re right Ren. What about you and Ash? Is it really fine between you two now?”

  Dad was the only one besides Josie who knew I’d been seeing Ash all this time. Not even the Twins knew where I’d been disappearing to now that I wasn’t going to Sydney. It was amazing the way I could talk to my dad. After so long hating him for abandoning me and Mum, shit, it was just amazing.

  “We’ve worked through a lot of stuff,” I said. “It’s a lot better.”

  His lips thinned with disapproval. “But why did you even bring him here?”

  “Dad, you respected him once. After all the things he confessed downstairs, you still want to be on the outs with him? He thinks the sun shines out of your ass by the way. I know enough about Ash Fuller to know he’s still the kid that found his way in here off the street. He wants to do the right thing.”

  Dad drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’ll never forget that day. He just wandered in and that was it. I couldn’t get rid of him. He told you about that?”

  I smiled, perching on the edge of the desk. “He’s told me a lot of things.”

  “That man would literally kill for you Ren,” he mused. “I won’t pretend that doesn’t worry me.”

  “I know Dad.”

  “Why is he back at all?”

  This was the moment I was waiting for. “We’re going back to The Underground and we’re going to fight.”

  Dad shoved to his feet, his face reddening with anger.

  “You are not going back there,” he exclaimed.

  “You don’t have a say Dad.”

  “Like hell-”

  I held up a hand, facing him off and his eyes cleared for a moment. “Like I told those assholes down there, I’m a grown ass fucking women. I’m not made of glass, I don’t need a man to protect me and I don’t need a father in this. I can fight, I can win and I’m going to get my revenge.”

  “Ren…” Dad breathed, his expression crumbling.

  “Ash and I are going to be together forever. We’re a team in this and everything life throws at us. We are going to take back what’s ours and you can either be a part of it or not.”

  “And that’s it?”

  “Yep.”

  “Nothing I can say will change your mind, will it?”

  “The money alone could set us up for life. It could help Beat, Ash’s sister…”

  “Violet?”

  I wasn’t surprised Dad knew about her and I could’ve been angry with him about not mentioning her to me before, but that was water under the bridge. “She’s as much a victim in this as all of us.”

  “This isn’t about money or doing the right thing Ren,” Dad said shaking his head. “It’s about revenge.”

  I snorted. “If I’m going to get payback, wouldn’t you rather me do it this way?”

  “Fight in an illegal underground tournament?” He shook his head, obviously disappointed that this was the life I’d left the AUFC for.

  I grimaced. “Better than driving round the guy’s place and beating him to death.”

  Dad grunted. “That’s exactly what Ash did, Ren. Twice.”

  “Ash has issues, I know that. His past is-”

  “A problem.”

  “Dad,” I hissed. “I know everything. I know every fucked up detail and I’m still here. It doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care that he was in prison. I don’t care about his anger. We’re working through it. I trust him. I’d like to trust you, but it goes both ways.” I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his neck. We hardly ever showed affection, so when he stiffened slightly, I didn’t think anything of it. “Please Dad. Trust me.”

  “You really love him, huh?” he asked gruffly, hugging me back.

  “I love him more than you can imagine.”

  We stood for a while, hugging like fools, letting the events of the day sink in. Finally, Dad said, “You want to use my gym?”

  I nodded.

  “Then use it.”

  That was his seal of approval and I was taking it before he could even think about snatching it away. Pulling back I kissed him on the cheek, another out of the ordinary display of affection.

  “Thanks Dad.”

  “Renee Miller!”

  I glanced up at Ash who had just come out of the kitchen to grill me about my conversation with my dad, when Josie stormed across the studio, coming right for me in a whirlwind of destruction. I would know the tone her voice carried anywhere. She was in a rage alright.

  “I heard,” she exclaimed, standing before me and putting her hands on her hips.

  “It’s all out now,” I said as Ash began to back away. If things weren’t so on edge, I would’ve laughed at the fact that Maverick was wary of Josie of all people.

  “Let me guess,” she declared, tapping a finger on her chin in mock thought. “You’re going back to The Underground.”

  “Yes,” I retorted. “We are.”

  “You gave up pro for that?” she shrieked, the Twins coming into my line of sight. Great, round fucking two.

  “I don’t want the spotlight,” I cried. “I don’t want fame or fortune. I want to fight on my own terms, no one else’s. Mine.”

  “You want revenge, right? That’s what this is about?”

  “It’s about a lot of things.”

  “You’re letting her go back?” Dean exclaimed, fixing his anger on Ash again.

  “I don’t approve,” he replied. “I never have.”

  I spun on my heel and fixed my gaze on Ash. “You’re not fucking serious. I told you…”

  “I never agreed Spitfire,” he murmured like he was trying to calm a wild beast.

  Castin
g my gaze over the assembled throng of discontent, I threw my hands up in exasperation. “What is this? An intervention?”

  “If it has to be,” Josie declared.

  “You of all people should understand,” I pleaded with her. “This is something I have to do. I have to go back.”

  I didn’t need anyone’s approval to do what I wanted with my life, but deep down I wanted it from them. I’d been alone for so long and now that I had a family and friends… I needed their approval. I was tired of doing it all on my own.

  When Josie shook her head, I turned back to Ash.

  “We’re a team, Maverick,” I murmured. “You of all people understand how much I need this.”

  He looked conflicted. “Ren…”

  “Please don’t take it away from me.”

  “Ren-”

  “It’s us together and that means what’s mine is yours and yours better be fucking mine, too.”

  “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  “I don’t want to see you get hurt,” I said sullenly. “But it’s going to happen to both of us.”

  “I should never have let you go there in the first place.”

  I shook my head, wanting to beat my fists against his chest. “I want to help you create a life for us both. I want to help Violet and Beat too. Let me.”

  Ash’s expression began to crumble and I knew he was coming around.

  “We just don’t want to see you get hurt,” Josie said, her anger softening. “I understand why you want to go back, but I’ll never stop worrying.”

  I glanced at the Twins and Dean shrugged. “I never thought I’d agree with Fuller. You know my stance on this Ren. Shit, I went there and saw how brutal it was. I saw you fight.”

  “And what?” I asked. “You still want me to stay away? You saw me, I’m good.”

  “Maybe he’s right, Ren,” Lincoln added.

  I shook my head. “I’m going back.”

  “I don’t agree with it Ren,” Ash said, winding his arm around my waist. “But I know you’re just going to ignore us, no matter what we say.”

  “You’re giving in?” I breathed.

  His green eyes searched mine. “Reluctantly.”

  “You better look after her Fuller,” Dean said, jabbing a finger at him in warning.

  “You’re the one fighting Hammer,” I said to Ash, ignoring Dean. “I’m going to give them the middle finger and to show them that I won’t be intimidated.”

  “Well,” Josie declared. “You better hand that asshole his ass, Ash Fuller, or I’m coming for yours.”

  Despite the frustration I felt towards everyone for trying to keep me wrapped up in cotton wool, I began to laugh. Josie always had this flair for the dramatic, but the image of her wedging her six-inch heel up my hulk of a boyfriend’s ass had me in fits.

  Josie’s face began to crumple and then she started laughing with me. “You’re thinking the exact same thing as I am, aren’t you?”

  “Yep.”

  “Women,” Dean exclaimed, turning on his heel and striding across the mats.

  “You better get out of here before I decide to lock you in your room,” Josie said, waving her hand at the door.

  Ash grabbed my hand and began dragging me across the studio. “Good fuckin’ idea,” he muttered.

  Knowing that I was on tenterhooks with everyone myself, I let him be all caveman superhero and drag me away from Beat. There was nothing left to say, so it was about time for some separation. We could come back and train tonight. I told Ash as much, as we stepped out onto the street.

  He grunted in approval and I slapped him on the ass.

  “The work starts tonight Maverick,” I declared. “Prepare for total domination.”

  He chased after me, slapping my ass in return. “That’s my line.”

  Chapter 22

  Ren

  We spent the afternoon in the coffee shop around the corner talking and getting Ash reacquainted with the world again.

  He said it was like he’d forgotten how things worked, that his senses were all out of whack. Much worse than jail had been. He said that inside he’d had human interaction, no matter how fucked up it’d been.

  It’d been about six months since I’d seen Seth and even longer since I’d laid eyes on the owner, Joseph. They’d welcomed us with open arms and smiles and Ash met Seth for the first time, properly, on equal ground. Last time Maverick was being a jealous asshole...a quality which I now found endearing because this time around he was all mine.

  Sitting at the coffee shop had an ulterior motive attached to it, which was letting things cool off at Beat. It’d been an emotional cluster fuck of a day for everyone and distance from it was the only thing that seemed logical. They’d come round, I was sure of it, but first they all needed time to get with the program.

  The thought had crossed my mind that Ash would become a beast again the moment the lights went out. Being in a place that had sparked such an explosive response in him and after being cooped up for so long, it had to mess with his mind. He’d been okay with it during the day, but the worst thing that had happened between us had happened at Beat at night.

  Things had been going so well with his anger and with us, that I was afraid it was all an illusion. Maybe this would be his trigger.

  As we approached Beat through the lengthening shadows, my worry began to change into a full blown concern. Beat in the day time with the real life consequences of his actions were one thing, but going back in the dark? I wasn’t so sure. Darkness brought all kinds of feelings and memories to the surface and Beat was full of them. Good and bad, but that’s the thing about memories…the bad ones always threatened to overwhelm.

  Images of Hammer pinning me against the mirrors, Hammer chasing and dragging me to the mats, Hammer touching me… Before I could stop it, I shuddered, my hand tightening around Ash’s. What was my problem? I’d been living and training here ever since it’d all gone down… I was okay with this.

  Ash glanced at me, a frown creasing his forehead.

  “Spitfire?”

  “I’m alright,” I said as I dug in my pocket with my free hand for the key to Beat. “It’s just been a big day.”

  “We can give tonight a rest if you want.”

  “No, we need to start training in a real gym. You don’t have the full set up at your place. This will be better.” I unlocked the door and shoved inside, punching in the alarm code as I went.

  As expected, it was dark and silent. Everyone had gone home a while ago and it was just us….and our demons but who was counting those? Me.

  Flipping on the back set of lights, the shadows became even longer, the orange glow dappled by the yellowness of the overhead bulbs. I kicked off my boots and walked across the mats, wishing I’d thought this through a little more. I could’ve been a little more sensitive about training here at night.

  “When do you want to go back to The Underground?” I asked trying to distract myself. “The new season starts in a week. It’d be good to get in on the ground floor this time. Start to finish.”

  “We’ll go tomorrow and convince them,” Ash said, pulling off his T-shirt and stuffing it into his gym bag.

  I tried not to drool as his impressive body came into view, but I didn’t have a choice. Distraction obtained. I shook my head as if I was trying to clear it and said, “I hope you know what you’re gunna say, because I don’t have the foggiest.”

  “I’ll think of something,” he muttered as he shoved his jeans off his hips.

  Fuck me. I stared at his ass in his boxer briefs and couldn’t believe he was mine. Glancing up at me, he smirked. So no Hulk smash beast, just the sexy caveman beast. I could deal with that.

  He pulled on his trademark shorts and began stretching his arms across his chest. I watched carefully as his gaze scanned the studio and his expression slowly changed from cocky asshole to troubled.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, not sure if I should go to him or not.

&n
bsp; He grimaced before turning toward me. “It’s just this place has a crap load of memories. Good and bad ones.”

  We stared at each other for a moment, letting the notion sink in. The last few months, spending time getting to know one another, had done Ash good. He seemed to be able to voice his feelings a lot better than before.

  “I know,” I whispered. “Same.”

  “It didn’t register before, when we came in. Now that it’s dark...”

  “There’s too many good memories to let the bad ones stain this place.”

  “Right there.” He pointed to the spot on the mat where he’d taken me from behind, the memory of his cock consuming my entire body sending tingles through my nerve endings.

  I sighed, clenching my thighs together and Ash stepped into me from behind. He clamped his hands onto my hips and began rubbing his erection against my ass.

  “Wanna recreate it?” he asked, fisting his hands into my hair and tugging.

  “What about training?” Shut up Ren. “I need to get changed…”

  “We’ve got a big day tomorrow Spitfire,” he murmured, his lips grazing against the shell of my ear. “I could use a stress reliever.”

  “Fiend.”

  He covered my mouth with his, grazing his teeth against my bottom lip, his erection pressing against my ass. Fuck, I’d missed this. I’d missed his uncontrollable lust, his possessive kisses, and his raw passion. I missed it all, but I had it back now. We had it back and I found myself grasping onto him with both hands, never wanting to let go ever again.

  I twisted in his arms, running my hands down his back and underneath the hem of his shorts.

  “How am I more naked than you?” he asked, his voice rumbling deep in his chest.

  Before I could retort, he yanked my T-shirt up over my head, my hair spilling everywhere in a wild mess, then his fingers were fumbling at the clasp of my bra. Reaching behind me, I shoved his hands out of the way. Unhooking the clasp, I let the annoying piece of material fall to the floor.