Pulse

by Amity Cross

  “Ren, I-”

  I snorted, glaring at my sister with the fire of a thousand suns and she clamped her mouth shut, but then she did something I never knew she was capable of. She grew a spine and stepped forward, clearly on the offensive.

  “Dad won’t speak to me and I’ve got no job.” She sniffed, her eyes starting to glass. “Even Mum is disappointed in me.”

  I wanted to spit back at her and tell her that I hoped she was miserable, but it didn’t seem classy. I had to stay classy.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for what I did to you and Ash.”

  I closed my eyes and sucked in a deep breath. I had no way of knowing if the pain she felt was even a match for mine when Ash was gone. There was no way of knowing, no way of describing the ache that had been left behind in my soul. Nobody knew how much something affected someone except themselves. Heartache was a private kind of pain.

  “I don’t think I will ever accept your apology,” I said, glancing at her. “I can’t right now. Not until this thing is over.”

  “Ren, please.”

  It seemed important to her that she had my forgiveness, but it was something I couldn’t give her.

  I shook my head. Rape and violence. That was the fate she’d thrown my way whether she mean to or not. “The damage has been done. There’s nothing else to say.”

  She flinched, wrapping her arms around her stomach and nodded. Without another word she turned like she was wounded and slunk out of the kitchen. I watched her go, a curious feeling bubbling through my skin, before digging my spoon back into my breakfast.

  At least it was something knowing that she had to live with her choices for the rest of her life. Wasn’t that punishment enough? She regretted what she’d done; she’d lost the respect of her parents, her friends, lost her job… At what point was it enough?

  One day Monica would find redemption, but it wasn’t going to be anytime soon.

  After Ash’s spectacular return to the cage as Maverick, The Underground was buzzing. There was an electricity in the air that I hadn’t felt since those first few weeks I’d spent here with him and it filled my veins and sparked in my soul. It gave me the kick start I desperately needed to dive headfirst into the game once more.

  Sitting in the fighter’s section of the bleachers, I watched Ash squaring off against his rival in the cage. Fight number two and he was way more confident this time. It was like I’d told him. There was no way he could forget. He was stronger than everything.

  There was a whoosh of air as a bulky body sat next to me and I flinched, jerking away at the sudden movement.

  “Settle down, Darlin’,” Hamish, aka The Goblin, declared. “I ain’t gunna bite.”

  My heart thumped in my chest before settling back into its usual rhythm. “Don’t fucking do that.”

  “Ash asked me to hang out with you,” he said in his thick Irish accent.

  I scowled. “Did he just.”

  “He’s just lookin’ out for you Reign, no need to get your knickers in a twist.”

  I rolled my eyes and turned back to the fight, watching Ash and his opponent circle each other. He wouldn’t know if I was watching or not, he was always single minded when he was in the cage, but no doubt he’d quiz me on it later and Hamish was ruining my vibe.

  “That man is a bloody prodigy.”

  I knew Hamish meant to say prodigy, but his accent made it sound like he’d said ‘proodjee’.

  I knew that Ash could’ve fought in the pro leagues, gone overseas and been in the running to be a world champ. He had everything that it took and then some, but he’d never mentioned much about his short-lived stint in the AUFC. I didn’t even know if that’s what he’d wanted. I made a mental note to ask him about it later.

  Anyway, fighting wasn’t the kind of career that was long term. He would’ve made his money and then what? What would I’ve done when I was either too old or sidelined by an injury to keep on keeping on? I had absolutely no idea.

  I reckon I’d keep on fighting while I still had the chance.

  “Why didn’t you ever try for the pro leagues?” I asked Hamish. The crowd surged around us as Ash landed another hit on his opponent, but we were safe from being jostled up on the bleachers.

  Hamish clapped with the crowd, watching his competition in the cage. “I never liked rules,” he said with a wink. “They would’ve kicked me out in the first round for mouthin’ off.”

  “So you prefer slumming it with the rabble rather than the bright lights?”

  Hamish laughed. “There are better payouts here. Less scrutiny. The regulations aren’t strict. No off season.”

  “So you just want to beat people up for money?”

  “Somethin’ like that.”

  “Where’s the skill in that?”

  “There’s skill in everything, Reign. Even violence. You of all people should understand that.”

  Fuck, did I understand it. Skill was what got fighter’s through to the end without tapping, not brawn. Brawn was nothing unless you could back it up with the brains.

  “That pretty blonde publicist,” Hamish said, his eyes sparkling. “The one that came here one night, can you do somethin’ about that?”

  “Josie?” I asked, my eyebrows rising.

  “She’s a pretty one, to be sure.”

  I looked him up and down. “You saw her once. A year ago.”

  “I’ve seen her around since then, Reign. A man never forgets a pretty face.”

  “I’m sure you don’t,” I drawled.

  He tapped a finger against his forehead and wiggled his eyebrows. “If she’s feisty, we take note.”

  I feigned throwing up. “I’m going to have to keep an eye on you.”

  He just winked at me with a cocky grin and turned back to watch the fight. I regarded him for a moment and wondered what his game was. Did he give a shit about what happened to Ash and me? There was a big chance that he wouldn’t even make the Championship bout this round and that meant he stood to lose a lot of money.

  Hamish glanced at me and smiled. “You’re up against Rogue tonight?” He let out a long whistle. “That’s somethin’ I wanna see.”

  “Don’t get your hopes up,” I replied, turning back to the cage where Ash was laying into his opponent.

  Hamish was laid-back, charming, handsome and talented, but he had nothing on Ash. Nobody even came close. If there was a star in all this shit and scum, it was Ash Fuller.

  He was different in so many ways; I could scarcely count them all. I watched the bevy of women that screamed for his attention, thrusting their tits his way and fluttering their eyelashes, hoping that he’d throw them a bone. A few bucks and a quick fuck. It used to make me mad with rage that they’d paw at him while I was standing right next to him. Jealous eyes, claws bared, looks of disdain...all aimed at me because plain old Ren Miller, Reign of Terror, obviously wasn’t pretty enough to bag the sexiest fighter at The Underground.

  All these people screamed for him, but it was me his eyes found amongst the noise. It was him that my body gravitated towards. It was me that he took home. It was me he saw through the things that others thought were shortcomings. It was me he loved.

  It was Ash that calmed the nerves inside me and gave me the strength to get through. We were a team. Together we were stronger.

  The referee in the ring was bellowing Ash’s name, Maverick, over and over, declaring him the winner. I stood and bounded down the bleachers, leaving Hamish behind, and shoved through the crowd not giving a fuck who I pissed off.

  I needed one last kiss before it was my turn. One last kiss for luck.

  It was my time to fight.

  Chapter 26

  Ren

  I smacked into Ash the moment he left the cage, circling my arms around his neck.

  His eyes widened slightly, but he caught me and held me close. He was all sweaty and stunk, but I didn’t give a shit.

  “Kiss me for luck,” I said.

  With a stupid gr
in on his face, he lowered his lips to mine and kissed me hard. His tongue swept into my mouth and I tasted the salt from his skin. If I didn’t have to fight, I’m sure he would’ve taken me someplace and let his excess energy do the talking and I’m sure I wouldn’t have stopped him. We were oblivious to the catcalls around us as we gave the crowd a little show.

  He pulled away with a groan and considering how hard he felt against my thigh, I couldn’t blame him for grumbling.

  “How’s that?” he asked.

  “Brilliant.”

  “You know I’m hard now, right?”

  I laughed. “Sure do.”

  “You need help with these?” he asked, grasping my hands in his.

  I shook my head. “Nup.”

  “Then what am I good for?”

  I raised my eyebrow. “That’s a loaded question Maverick.”

  “I’m sure we’ll talk about that one later.”

  “I plan on it.”

  “Good luck,” he murmured, pressing his lips to mine.

  I smiled against his mouth and pulled back. “I’ll be fine. It’s Rogue after all.”

  “Old rivalries die hard Spitfire.”

  “She might be an epic bitch, but she was always a class act in the cage.”

  “But-”

  “Hammer dumped her the same time as…” I trailed off, not wanting to dredge up old shit. “I think enough time has passed that things might be at least a little equal where payback is concerned.”

  Ash dragged his fingers through my ponytail. “Just watch her. I don’t trust anyone who’s associated with that dipshit.”

  “It’s the name of the game,” I said. “Wait for me.” I backed away toward the change rooms.

  “Fuckin’ oath, I’ll wait,” he called after me.

  Smiling to myself, I weaved through the crowd, leaving Ash behind to sort himself out. He understood without me telling him that I wanted a little quiet time to prepare myself before the fight. That was one of the very few ways we were different.

  Stepping into the change room, my gaze collided with Rogue’s. She was standing to one side, wrapping her hands and when she saw me, she scowled. So nothing had changed there then.

  Ignoring her, I pulled my stuff out of my locker and began pulling my gear out. If she was trying to psych me out before my first fight of the season, she wasn’t going to get anywhere. I’d been mentally preparing myself for this the moment I saw my name drawn next to hers.

  I’d never forget the first bout I’d fought at The Underground. Call it beginner’s luck or whatever you wanted, but I’d been paired with the meanest woman fighter out there and I’d knocked her out cold. It was probably the worst thing I could’ve done walking into that cage as a newbie. Worst, meaning that I’d put a target on my back by humiliating one of the top place getters on my first try. Still, it was a rush I’d never forget.

  Maybe tonight would be an action replay.

  Maybe I shouldn’t get too big for my boots.

  Rogue eyed me as I strapped my hands in for our fight. I glanced at her, wondering why she wasn’t saying anything. She wasn’t the kind of woman who held back…or gave a shit what other people thought about her.

  “What?” I asked when I couldn’t take her staring anymore.

  “They’re planning something,” she said simply.

  I didn’t have to ask who they were. “Planning what?”

  “How the fuck should I know?” she declared with a flick of her hair. “I was dumped the moment you were, so why do you think I know shit?”

  “Then why are you warning me?”

  “I hate your fucking guts, but I hate his more.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Fair enough.”

  “Just watch your back and tell your boyfriend to do the same. This time will be different.”

  I wondered how different. They wouldn’t try the same tactic with a full-on physical attack. They’d know we’d be expecting it. They couldn’t beat him in a fight, not even in the cage, but there was one thing they could use if we weren’t careful. Maybe this time it’d be full on psychological warfare. Use his anger and mine, wear us both down and strike at the right moment.

  It was genius really, and all Rogue had to say was that this time was going to be different. I made a mental note to tell Ash once I was done in the cage.

  “Thanks,” I said, my expression softening. It was advice that should be taken with a grain of salt coming from a woman like Rogue, but it was good advice nonetheless.

  “You don’t hate me?” Rogue asked, frowning at my reaction. She seemed to be genuinely surprised.

  “I don’t hate you,” I replied, flexing my fingers. “I’m indifferent to you. There’s a difference.”

  She snorted and shoved her things into a locker. Slamming the door she strode over, a sneer curling her upper lip. “Don’t think this means I’m gunna go soft on you in the cage.”

  “The thought never crossed my mind.”

  I could never find a way to understand how someone could claim to love a person like Hammer. Evil, twisted…a man who got off on other’s pain. A rapist.

  There was always the chance that Rogue didn’t know what he’d done to Violet and me, but as if she’d divulge it either way. She was more than capable of looking after herself and it was obvious she didn’t want my help. Whatever had gone down between them, she was much better off without Hammer sucking her soul dry.

  Without acknowledging her again, I strode out into the arena where the crowd started to stir as people began to notice my approach. Without glancing sideways, I stepped into the cage. A few people cheered my name as the lights hit my skin and I turned a full three-sixty searching the edges for Ash.

  When I caught sight of him right at the edge, still sweaty and bloody from his fight, waiting for me, I walked over smiling like a fool. I curled my fingers through the chain-link as the referee announced the fight, but I could hardly hear it.

  “The name says it all folks. She’s back, she’s bad and she’ll knock you out in one shot… It’s Reign of Terror!”

  Ash wound his fingers through the cage, covering mine and smiled.

  “Gimme one more kiss,” I said.

  He leaned forward and we kissed through the chain-link much to the amusement of the people around us.

  “Knock the shit outta her,” Maverick said.

  The blood began to pump through my veins at the thought of fighting again. No rules, no regulations save for one. Fight until your opponent taps out, or can’t continue. The AUFC always gave me a rush, but it could never give me the burst of adrenalin that now flowed through my veins. The pro ring had been brutal, but this? This was a massacre. Dangerous, exhilarating...

  Sucking in a deep breath, I ran my fingertips over Ash’s lips. I was vaguely aware of Hamish standing next to him saying something along the lines of ‘fuckin’ puke’ before I turned and strode to the center of the cage.

  Rogue made a kissy face at me and raised her fists into the guard position.

  “Don’t hold back,” she said with a sneer. “When I beat your ass, I want it to be because I’m better than you.”

  I raised an eyebrow, but didn’t give her the satisfaction of a reply.

  The referee stood beside us and gave us the rules as we eyed one another and with a swipe of his hand, the game was on.

  Rogue didn’t waste any time. The moment his hand dropped, she lunged, fists flying. I didn’t have any time to react, but my instincts kicked in and I ducked, the whoosh of air as her fist sailed over my head, ruffling my hair. Her body twisted to the side as she followed through and I stepped forward. We were twisted around one another for a split second until I brought down my elbow into her ribs.

  The force of the blow jarred through my arm as I twisted away, bringing my guard back up as Rogue stumbled with an angry cry. The crowd cheered and hands rattled the cage like they were trying to enrage wild beasts. Once the fight was on, that was pretty much the gist of it. That and I swore
most of the male punters had hard-ons watching two-toned women beating each other into a pulp. Whatever floated their boats.

  Rogue and I circled for a while, her movements becoming more subdued as she reined in her anger. She’d learned a lot since the first time I’d fought her. Back then it was her frustration that I’d used to get the upper hand. This time it wouldn’t be so straightforward. We knew each other, we knew how we both fought and we compensated our strategies.

  She soon became irritated in waiting for me to strike and lunged again, this time locking her forearms with mine. We grappled; trying to keep our footing while felling the other, but neither one of us could get a purchase. Rogue let out a scream and pushed with all her strength and I stumbled backwards, my back hitting the edge of the cage with so much force, the entire structure rattled.

  There were people right up against the chain-link yelling and screaming as Rogue pinned me against the fence and punched, her fist connecting with the side of my face. My head snapped to the side and my eyes widened in surprise.

  Suddenly Ash was there, his fingers winding through the fence, his green eyes fixed on mine. “Use your knees,” he bellowed over the din of the crowd.

  I pulled my gaze away and fixed onto Rogue and brought my knee up with a cry of rage. I connected with her vagina, her eyes widened with shock and her hold slackened. That kind of move was extremely painful for a guy and enough of an annoyance to stun Rogue enough to be able to break away.

  Sense told me to distance myself and regain some strength, but unfortunately I didn’t have a lot of that. If it was pro, then that’s what I would’ve done. This was all or nothing, so naturally I gave it my all and then some.

  I kicked out, using my weight as an anchor, and slammed my heel into the side of Rogue’s knee. She crumbled, landing awkwardly on the mat and crying out as her elbow cracked against the hard floor.

  Using her break in concentration to my full advantage, I shoved her shoulder, forcing her down onto the flat of her back. One perfectly aimed punch and all this could be over. I had the upper hand; there was no way I could lose this.