Pulse

by Amity Cross

  “Both.”

  “Fine. Not without their trials, but fine.”

  He crossed his arms over his broad chest and I knew the lecture was coming. It was sweet that Dean thought of me as his little sister and all, but I had enough protectiveness from Ash.

  “Josie tells me you’re in the Championship,” he said.

  I nodded. “Yeah.”

  “I’m kinda surprised,” he said and I thumped him in the arm. “Hey!”

  I best not tell him about my KO then. “Told you I could hold my own.”

  “Was there any doubt?”

  I laughed as his face began to soften and shoved him playfully. “Never.”

  “So, when’s the big fight?”

  “Next Thursday. Ash is fighting on Friday.”

  “Against…”

  My expression tightened. “He’s fighting Hammer.”

  Dean nodded like he already knew…or suspected. He glanced over at Ash who was talking with Dad, their hand gestures getting wilder as they went. I could have a wild guess at what they were talking about and would probably hit the nail right on the head.

  “What’s that meant to mean?” I asked.

  “That guy’s had it coming for years,” he said. “I’ve never met the fucker, but even I want to serve him his ass for hurting you.” He glanced up again and this time he was watching his brother and I frowned.

  “Lincoln?” I asked, remembering that he’d reacted strangely the day everything came out and especially when Violet was brought up.

  “He won’t say, but I reckon he’s got a thing for Violet Fuller. Or had. It’s been five years or so since she used to hang around here.”

  I turned my attention to Lincoln and realized he had been quiet the past few months. He was always the more level headed of the Twins and quiet by default, but this was different. With Violet being so…Violet, it was something I knew I had to stay out of.

  Deciding not to press it, I said, “Then he’ll be glad to know that Hammer will be getting everything he deserves in that cage and then some.”

  Dean placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “That’s if Fuller wins.”

  I tensed and shook his hand away. When Ash was in that cage he was like a hurricane of destruction, untouchable, uncontrollable…unbeatable. Outside of it was when he was vulnerable…where he was just a man. He had an unbeaten record this season and I’d already decided in my heart and mind that he was going to win. That we both were. But, I hadn’t thought of one tiny little detail. Ash hadn’t fought Hammer all season. Anything could happen once that cage door closed. Anything.

  I suddenly realized that’s why Ash had been feeling off. It had to be, because I couldn’t see any other reason for him to be so off kilter.

  Dean’s expression softened and he went to wind his arm around my waist, but I stepped away. “Ren, I didn’t mean…”

  “He’s going to win.” That was stubborn pride talking.

  As far as I was concerned, he had to. My heart began to hammer in my chest as I realized what needed to be done. Hammer couldn’t get away with it. If Ash didn’t come out of that cage the victor, then I would do what he couldn’t go through with the night he left me at Beat.

  If Hammer won the Championship, then I’d kill him myself.

  Three things happened over the next three days. Some expected developments and some very unexpected.

  The first was my debriefing with Josie about the season in Sydney. Ash and I had a lot going on, so we hadn’t seen any of the fights, but from what Josie said, the Twins both did really well in their weight class. They didn’t quite make their own Championship, but next year it was extremely likely. They’d been named the new fighters to watch going into the next round and I couldn’t be more proud of the meatheads. Especially Dean, who was the focus of the second thing on my list.

  It seemed the waters between him and Ash had settled, and I’d even caught them wolfing down their breakfast in companionable silence. It wasn’t until I saw them training together and laughing, that I realized that in typical bloke fashion they’d just let shit go. They thought women were complicated, but men…sheesh. How they could solve a disagreement with nothing but a grunt had me scratching my head every time.

  Still, I was glad they were getting along. I couldn’t imagine life without the Twins now.

  The third thing was a lot more expected. Dad still wasn’t pleased with me, which was what had prompted me to confront him on the third day after everyone had come back from Sydney. We’d made so much progress; it seemed like twenty steps back into old times.

  I knocked once on the office door and barged in.

  Dad was sitting at the desk, hunched over with his head in his hand.

  “Ren,” he said as he jumped at my abrupt entrance.

  “Dad.” I placed my hands on my hips.

  “Your mother got that look when she wanted to rip me a new one,” he said with a sigh.

  “I do.”

  “Out with it then.” His nonchalance started to piss me off.

  “You’ve hardly spoken to me since you got back,” I huffed. “Did you do that with Mum too?”

  “Shit.”

  Shit, indeed.

  “I’m in the Championship, Dad.” He blinked like he hadn’t believed I’d even get there in the first place and it kinda stung. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.” I rolled my eyes.

  He sighed and rubbed his eyes. “I didn’t mean… That’s great, Ren.”

  “But?”

  “It’s just not the Championship I thought you’d be winning, is all.”

  I shrugged. “There are no trophies or accolades, just a big wad of cash. I told you this is what I wanted to do. After everything-”

  “I know,” he interrupted. “It’s just father mode coming into full effect.”

  Yet another person I was never ever going to tell about my KO, then. “Dare I ask if you want to come watch me fight?”

  Dad narrowed his eyes. I took it as a no.

  “Fine,” I said. “Josie knows the details if you change your mind.”

  I shook out my arms and rolled my shoulders.

  “Ren, wait a minute.” He stood and faced me, pinching the bridge of his nose.

  “It’s okay Dad. It’s not your scene, I get it.”

  “It’s not.”

  “Then don’t worry about it.” I waved him off, keen to get back out into the studio to talk more with the Twins about their stint in pro as much as I needed to get back into training with Ash.

  “Ren…”

  “You don’t need to explain yourself Dad. I know how you feel.” I closed the office door behind me and bounded down the stairs like hell was nipping at my heels.

  Dad had been extremely vocal in his displeasure about my fighting at The Underground. To expect him actually go? That was a flash in the pan idea if I ever saw one. Still, a part of me wanted him to see me in my first Championship bout considering it was his dream. It wasn’t the stock standard kind of fight, but it was where my heart lay. Bright lights and Ren Miller didn’t fit. Darkness however...

  There had been so many things Dad’d missed while I was growing up. School plays, award nights, graduation… The kid inside me, the kid that had missed out on having her dad at those stupid mundane events, wanted him to come to one of the most important of her life.

  Still, asking was all I could do. I couldn’t make him accept my decisions if he was against them that much. I’d still love him either way.

  That’s the strange thing about growing up. Eventually you learn how to accept the things you can’t change.

  As I joined the guys on the mat, I couldn’t help the disappointment that tugged at the edges of my heart.

  Maybe he’d come next time.

  If there was a next time.

  Chapter 34

  Ash

  It was Wednesday, the day before Ren’s fight and she was distant.

  I couldn’t blame her because I felt much the same way.
After so long building up to this…we could now count the time remaining on one hand. Everything was coiled, ready to spring…and the ending was unpredictable.

  Sensing she needed her space, I left her in Beat’s kitchen with Josie and retreated to the gym to run on the treadmill. Running outside was out of the question today, there was no way I was leaving Ren behind.

  “Ash?”

  I was sitting on the bench, taking a breather when I heard my name. I glanced up and smiled when I saw Coach at the door, but it faded when I saw the look on his face.

  “Can I have a word?” he asked, stepping into the gym.

  I gestured to the bench beside me. “Of course.”

  He sat beside me and I tensed, wondering how much of a tongue-lashing I was about to get. Coach was a hard-ass; he knew just how much shit to give without it ever being too much or not enough. There was a reason he was one of the best coach’s I’d ever seen in the business. Fuck, even in the pro leagues he was a gun.

  “How’s training going?” he asked and I blinked hard. This wasn’t the opener I was expecting.

  “Fine. Ren’s stronger than ever.”

  “And you?” He eyed me like he knew something was up.

  “Okay. I’m ready.”

  “Good.”

  I knew he wanted to talk about Ren and what was next for us. I knew he wanted answers, but I wasn’t sure I had them.

  “Have you sorted things with Monica?” I asked, trying to stall by asking the most insane question I could think of.

  Truthfully, I didn’t really care, it sounded heartless, but after what she’d done to Ren…that was unforgivable in my mind. We never had a relationship outside of the studio and I never cared about starting one.

  “I never thought I’d see the day where my own daughter would do something like that.” Coach shook his head, the disappointment clear in his expression. “She let that man into Beat and he could’ve-” His voice wavered and he took a deep breath. “Maybe one day we’ll work through it, but for now…”

  “Dean said she’s living on the other side of Melbourne.”

  Coach nodded. “She’s working at one of those Fitness First gyms as a nutritionist.”

  I grunted, not wanting to talk about her anymore. She’d obviously lost a fuck load when she stepped in to own up to her mistakes. Maybe I owed her for that, but maybe it still wasn’t enough to balance out the shit she’d pulled. I knew Ren was better off without her at Beat. She didn’t need that reminder because having to see Hammer all the time at The Underground was far far worse.

  “I’ve become very close with Ren over the last few months,” Coach went on. “I should never have left her. I’m still her father and I’d do anything to protect her.”

  So, this was the crux of it. “I get what you’re saying Coach-”

  “Do you?” He looked me up and down. “I owe you for saving her when I couldn’t, but the way you handled things afterwards I will never agree with you on. You never saw her in the months you were gone Ash. I need to know that you will never do that to her again. I need you to promise you’ll protect her.”

  I tried not to let my sadness show on my face. I couldn’t make that promise. Like a selfish bastard I couldn’t guarantee it past Friday night. I knew he meant being there physically, financially it was something I could handle, but more than that? I couldn’t...

  “I promise, Coach,” I said, a twinge of pain shooting through my heart.

  “What are your intentions with my daughter?”

  “I’ve got plans,” I replied. “I want to be able to provide for her, to make sure she never has to worry about anything ever again, but I need money to be able to do that.”

  “By winning this Underground thing?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. It’s a lot of money and…” I shrugged.

  “Fuck, I was so hot-headed when I was your age,” he said out of nowhere. “I want to tell you to stay away from that place, but you’re a grown man and I suspect you won’t listen to me anyway.” He clapped me on the shoulder before letting his hand fall away. “I would do the exact same thing.”

  I stared at him, not knowing what to say. In a strange bloke kinda way, he was giving me his blessing.

  “Ren told me who you’re fighting,” he explained. “I understand.”

  I sat for a moment, not knowing what he wanted from me. Finally, I wrung my hands together and shook my head. “It’s strange how things work out. I came back and I never expected…”

  “Neither did I,” Coach said with a laugh. “Ren blew in those doors like a bloody hurricane and gave me what for.”

  “I’m sure she did.”

  “What’s your big plan?”

  If I lived to see Saturday? I’d thought about it, but I hadn’t allowed myself to dream. Violet had planted the seed months ago and over time the notion had grown until it was the only future I could see. Now, it was clear.

  “I want to open my own gym,” I said. “I want to help screw ups like me avoid the things I had to go through.”

  Coach clapped me on the shoulder again, but this time he held firm, squeezing. It was his way of telling me he was proud and I was going to run with it. “So you basically want to be me?”

  “I can see where Ren get’s her fire from Coach.”

  I sucked in a deep breath and let it out in one long whoosh. I had to fight, I had to do whatever it took to take out Hammer in that cage because now that I’d said what I wanted, now that I’d voiced my dream to someone, I had to live. I had to win no matter what. For Ren. This future was for her. For us.

  Glancing at Ren’s dad, I asked, “Do you trust me with your daughter’s heart?”

  Coach looked me over and for a moment I thought he was going to tell me to fuck off, but he grinned and slapped his hand on my shoulder. Third time’s a charm. “I’m pretty sure that I do, son. But if you pull a stunt like that again, you’ll have to deal with me.”

  I grinned, my life finally feeling like it was worth all the pain and for the first time since realizing how this Championship was going to be won, I actually wanted to live.

  Chapter 35

  Ren

  I’d never been to a Championship bout at The Underground before, so I wasn’t expecting the buzz to be so off the charts.

  The whole place seemed to crackle with excitement. Bets were being placed, the din from the bookies as they screamed their odds over the music, which was at fever pitch.

  “It’s somethin’, hey?” Ash said in my ear.

  I pressed against him as I watched a group of men place a huge five figure bet on me.

  “It’s…epic,” I breathed, my eyes wide as a wad of cash was exchanged, a beefy bouncer watching over the money as the bet was locked in.

  Josie pressed into my other side and whistled. “That’s some serious cashola.”

  I was glad my best friend had tagged along for moral support, but as of yet there was still no sign of Dad and time was ticking on. There was half an hour to go and still no sign that he was coming. The disappointment must’ve shown on my face because Josie reached for my hand and squeezed.

  “He’ll come,” she said. “I gave him the details. He’ll come.”

  I smiled weakly. “Sure thing.”

  I’d kinda resigned myself to the fact that he wouldn’t be there, but I found myself scanning the crowd anyway and when I saw Hamish, I smiled. The Irish fighter had become a friend in a roundabout way. He was always around, watching out for me and Ash and I was grateful that he gave a shit. Once all this was over, I reckon I should make an effort to know the guy.

  He smiled as he saw me through the wall of people and then his eyes lit up as he caught sight of Josie next to me. I never did give him her number after he’d so blatantly asked for it…or mentioned it to Josie for that matter.

  “He’s got the hots for you,” I said to her as he approached through the crowd.

  “Who?” Josie squeaked, scanning the crowd.

  “Hamish.” I nodded
toward the fighter as he came closer and Josie smiled.

  “I remember that one,” she said, looking him up and down.

  Hamish grinned as he came to a stop in front of us.

  “Go easy on him,” I said to Josie. “He’s alright.”

  I smiled as she walked over to meet him and stifled a laugh as she flicked her blonde hair over her shoulder. Josie worked hard, she deserved a little fun. That’s when I caught sight of someone I’d never thought I’d see in a million years and my heart did a flip in my chest.

  Dad.

  I think I ran, but I wasn’t sure. I was in his arms a split second later and we hugged.

  “I really wanted you to come,” I said, my voice muffed against his neck.

  “I know,” he replied. “I know.”

  We hugged tightly for a moment before pulling away. I was vaguely aware of Ash standing to one side, one eye on Hamish and Josie by the bar while the other was on me and Dad.

  “You’ve been fighting here, in that cage, all this time?” Dad asked, his eyes wide.

  I nodded. “Yep.”

  “And it’s really that brutal? No rules?”

  There was no reason to cushion what I was going to say next. He’d see it once my fight began. “The bouts only end when one fighter taps out or can’t continue.”

  He sucked in a deep breath.

  “Dad?”

  “You’ve gotta take it slow,” he said with a grimace. “I’ve got shell shock.”

  I watched as his gaze ran over the scene before him. The crowd of people, the bookies along the far wall, the bar and finally the cage. It looked slap dash, like it was stuck together with sticky tape, but that thing was solid. It had to withstand hulking fighters smashing against it after all.

  “This is my world Dad; I know what I’m in for.”

  He nodded and stood a little straighter. “Have you fought this Fury before?”

  I grinned, knowing Dad had switched into coach mode. “Yes. Ash has seen her fight as well and we’ve been training with that in mind.”

  “Good.”

  “She’s like my twin,” I went on. “Same height, build, skill set… We’ve come up with some tactics that might throw her.”