Mrs. Lapp, however, seemed delighted she had stopped by without an invitation. “This is such a nice surprise, Tiny. I don’t know how many times I’ve told Joel that I wish you stopped by more often.”
By “more often,” she probably meant ever. Tiny couldn’t think of the last time she’d been in the Lapp house. “I felt the same way,” she said. “Plus, I thought you might enjoy some jam.”
Mrs. Lapp took the basket and set it on the table. “I will, indeed.” She clasped her hands in front of her. “Guess what? Your visit is perfect timing. I just took some poppy seed bread out of the oven and I have hot water for tea. Would you share some with me?”
“Of course. Danke.” Mrs. Lapp started toward the kitchen. “May I help you?”
“Of course not,” she said with a smile. “If you’ve been making jam today, you’ve been on your feet a lot. Rest, and I’ll be right back.”
Instead of sitting, Tiny wandered around the room, looking at the stack of books on the coffee table, the basket of knitting near the fireplace, the finely made wedding ring quilt carefully draped over a chair. Though it had been years since she’d sat in this parlor, she reckoned it hadn’t changed much at all, except maybe the light sheers on the windows? Perhaps the glider rocker in the back corner? Or the braided rug underneath the coffee table?
Tiny supposed it didn’t matter. All anyone would really notice was that the Lapp home was as different from the Coblentz home as could be. Everything in this room was spotlessly dusted and clean. The wooden floor looked freshly swept, and there was even a fresh, clean scent that clung to the blissfully silent air.
In contrast, the Coblentz house was a mixed-up mess.
Mrs. Lapp paused when she returned with a tray of tea and neatly sliced poppy seed bread. “Tiny, is everything all right?”
Tiny rushed back to the sofa and sat, just like a child who’d been caught stealing cookies. “Yes, of course. I was just looking around at everything.”
“Oh.” Looking a little uneasy, Mrs. Lapp said, “I haven’t washed the walls in months. I’m sure they’re due for a good scrubbing.”
“I wasn’t thinking that at all. I was actually reflecting on how peaceful and pleasant it is here. I mean, in comparison to my house.”
Mrs. Lapp laughed softly as she handed Tiny a cup and a small plate with bread on it. “I suppose it would seem quieter. There are only the four of us here, not six.”
Joel’s sister, Summer, had married two years ago and now lived over in Charm. So it was just Joel, Sam, and their parents. But, it was more than that, too. “It’s not that I’m complaining about mine. It just feels like a nice change,” she added. Why had she even said anything? She sounded like a complainer!
Mrs. Lapp sipped her tea. “Funny, Joel sometimes says he enjoys the excitement around your house. I enjoy hearing the stories he shares about all of your goings-on, too. It sounds like there’s never a dull moment.”
Thinking about some of their crazy dinner conversations, Tiny felt her cheeks heat. “That’s one way of putting it. I’m afraid all of us have opinions that we feel the need to share a bit too often. It can get rather loud.”
“It sounds fun—though, perhaps, exhausting,” Mrs. Lapp said with a chuckle. “I fear I’m quiet by nature.”
“I imagine every household is different.”
“I would agree. When I first got married, I was so worried about trying to run my home as well as my mother ran ours when I was growing up. Mei mamm finally took me aside and said there was no right way to raise a family or run a house. The Lord put a variety of people on the earth for a reason.” She smiled softly. “I’ve always remembered that.”
“It’s good advice.” Taking a bite of the bread, Tiny nearly moaned. The poppy seed bread was moist and tasted faintly of almond, and the glaze on the outside was a mixture of vanilla and cream. “This is delicious.”
“I’m glad you like it. I’ll send some home with you, Tiny.”
“Danke.” Tiny smiled and took another bite before realizing Mrs. Lapp was no doubt waiting for her to state her reason for coming over. “Mrs. Lapp, I came over to see you but also to see Joel. Is he around?”
“He was out in the barn when you arrived. I think he’s washing up now. He’ll be in to join us in a few minutes.”
“How is Yellow?”
“Oh, that dog is something else!”
Tiny braced herself, waiting for a litany of complaints. But Mrs. Lapp just smiled.
“I’m afraid she’s become the center of our world.”
“Even Mr. Lapp’s?” Tiny asked before minding her tongue.
“Especially Mr. Lapp’s! He greets her before he greets the rest of us.”
“I’m surprised.”
“I am, too. Neither of us ever wanted a pet, as I think you know. But there’s something about that sweet yellow dog that has taken our hearts. Maybe it’s because it’s obvious someone was cruel to her. Or because she’s just so sweet. Whatever the reason, we already love her dearly. Last Sunday afternoon, she sat next to me on this here sofa while I knitted.”
“Joel seems happy with her, too.”
“He is, though that might be an understatement— Oh! Hello, Joel. We were just discussing Yellow.”
Tiny turned to Joel, who had just walked in with Yellow by his side, and was struck, as always, by how handsome he was. Today his cheeks were bright pink, either from the cold outside or the scrubbing he must have just done. His dark hair was damp, his shirt was untucked, and he even had bare feet.
She got up. “Joel, put a pair of socks on. You’ll catch your death.”
He laughed. “Hello to you, too, Tiny.”
“Sorry, but really, you need to get warm. Your hair is damp, too.”
Though his gaze was warm, he shrugged off her worries. “It’s nothing. That’s what happens when one washes in the stationary tub in the barn. Water gets everywhere. But a little bit of water never hurt anyone.” He bent down to Yellow. “Right, girl?”
The dog, giving him a look of adoration, wagged her tail. It was very sweet.
But still, Joel had to be freezing.
“I swear, you need a keeper!” Walking over to him, she grabbed his hand and pulled him to the fireplace. “Stand here a minute.”
Linking his fingers with hers, he let her tug him into place. For a few seconds they stared at each other, almost like each was attempting to fit into their new type of relationship. Tiny held her breath.
“Is this what our life is going to be like, Tiny?” he asked at last. “Years of me getting bossed around by you?”
His warm expression compelled her to smile up at him. “Only when it’s obvious that someone needs to take care of you.”
Mrs. Lapp laughed.
Tiny was startled, only then remembering they weren’t alone—and she’d been mighty heavy-handed with him… All while holding his hand! Right in front of his mother!
Embarrassed, she dropped Joel’s hand like it was on fire. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so…” But her words drifted off, because there was really no way for her to explain what she’d been doing.
Joel stepped closer, into her space. “Tiny, there’s nothing to apologize for. I’m glad you care.”
It was true. She did care about him. Very much. She always had, even when she didn’t want to. She blinked and simply gazed into his eyes.
His mother got to her feet. “Oh my word!” She pressed a hand to her chest. “I canna believe it, but I completely forgot to cut up the vegetables for tonight’s supper. Yellow, would you like to help? There might be a carrot in the kitchen for you.”
“Mamm, it’s all right,” Joel murmured. “You don’t have to leave.”
“All the same, I think I will,” she said as she turned away. “Come on, Yellow.”
Watching Yellow follow Mrs. Lapp out of the room, Tiny pressed her palms to her cheeks. “I hadn’t thought it could happen, but I think I made even more of a fool of myself in front of
you than usual.”
He reached for her hands. “You didn’t make a fool of yourself. You never do.”
“It certainly feels like it’s been a common occurrence.” Especially of late.
“It hasn’t. I like how you act. I don’t want you to change a thing.”
“Danke.”
“May I ask why you came over today?”
How much could she tell him? How much could she share without making herself completely vulnerable?
She already knew the answer, of course. If she wanted a real relationship with Joel, a relationship that led to a long and happy marriage and life together, she needed to be brave enough to allow him to know what she was feeling.
“I came over because I was tired of waiting.”
“ ‘Waiting’?”
“Waiting to spy you outside. Waiting for you to come over. Waiting for everything to be perfect between us.”
“Tiny, it already is perfect.”
She shook her head. “Nee, it’s not. I got upset and jealous about Jane. You got upset at me for not believing you. We’ve been circling each other for years, both hinting at our feelings but never admitting what is in our hearts. That’s not perfect at all.”
“But don’t you see that is what love is like, Tiny? It’s not about being perfect for each other. It’s about accepting and loving each other’s imperfections. It’s about wanting to be happy instead of wanting what is flawless.” He squeezed her hands gently. “It’s about what truly matters.”
“Like us.”
“Jah, like us.” A small glint appeared in his eyes. “I mean, it is like us… if that means you feel something in your heart for me?”
“You know I do.” She wanted to tell him that she loved him, too, but she was still too afraid.
“Gut.” He bent down and pressed his lips to her brow. “I’m glad you came calling today, Tiny.”
“Me, too.”
With a pleased-sounding sigh, Joel gathered her in his arms and held her, right there in his bare feet in the front parlor of his house. And Tiny realized that this hug was exactly what he’d been talking about. It was surprising and a little funny and a bit unfamiliar.
It was absolutely perfect.
twenty-eight
• RULE #28 •
You can’t change everyone’s life, but you might be able to make a difference. Don’t forget that.
Kayla had been pleasantly surprised when Aaron had stopped by Aunt Pat’s store during lunch. He hadn’t stayed long, just long enough to ask if they could meet at Zeiset’s Furniture instead of in the back of Pat’s shop. It seemed he had a lot of work to do and not enough time to do it.
Kayla had agreed immediately. Meeting at the furniture store meant that Pat could lock up whenever she wanted. Though she didn’t stay for Kayla’s tutoring sessions with Aaron anymore, Pat had admitted that leaving the shop without locking up everything herself had weighed on her mind. So, Kayla was happy to give her aunt a break. But more importantly, Kayla was looking forward to spending some time with Aaron. It had been such a terrible week. As each day passed without hearing a word from her father, her stress mounted. She was worried about him, mad at his actions, and stressed about how she was going to pay their bills.
In addition to worrying herself sick and working at the sewing shop, she’d also taken on another tutoring job. This one was with a difficult eleven-year-old girl. So the only bright spot was her scheduled time with Aaron. It might have been wrong, but Kayla was coming to realize that she needed to see him. There was something special between them, she was sure of it. She couldn’t wait to see where their relationship went.
She’d arrived at Zeiset’s a few minutes late since she’d had a bit of work to take care of before seeing Aaron, both at the shop and with herself. It had been foolish, but she had fussed with her hair and appearance. She wanted to look her best for Aaron now.
He made her feel young and hopeful for the first time in years, and she savored that feeling, especially since she’d felt so forgettable after the way Levi had left her without hardly a backward glance. She welcomed the giddiness, too. For so long, she’d felt so burdened by life, she’d begun to wonder if she’d ever feel hopeful again.
“Hello?” Feeling a bit like she was breaking and entering, Kayla slowly opened the empty furniture store’s front door. The whole sales floor was empty, and only one set of lights was on. “Aaron?” she called out. “Are you here?”
“Jah! Sorry, I’m in the back. I’ll be right there. Go have a seat if you want.”
There were about two dozen places to sit. “Where would you like to have our study session?”
He popped his head out of a doorway. “There’s a table toward the back. It looks like a conference table. It’s nothing fancy. You’ll see my study guide on it.”
“Okay.”
He smiled at her, warming her insides. “I’ve got to head to the break room. Want a cup of coffee? I just made a fresh pot.”
A cup of fresh coffee sounded like heaven. “Sure. Danke.”
“No problem.” He smiled at her again. “I’ll be there in five.”
Though he’d been smiling, Kayla thought he sounded harried. “Take your time. I’m going to look around.”
When he didn’t reply, she smiled. She was learning enough about Aaron to know that he was considerate to a fault—but that he also took on too much. She hoped he finished with whatever he needed to get done. Otherwise, he’d be half thinking about that instead of his upcoming test.
Glad to have a few moments to herself, Kayla wandered around the store, enjoying the rich scent of furniture polish, wood, and beeswax. A gas fireplace was lit along the back wall, and it threw off enough of a glow to cast a pretty shine to the furniture nearby, as well as a good amount of heat.
Pulling off her cloak, mittens, and black bonnet, she set them carefully on a table and stood in front of the flames. Last night the wind had howled, and they’d gotten three inches of snow. She’d been so cold in her room that she’d ended up bringing her pillows and blankets to the living room and sleeping on the couch. Because of that, she’d had both a crick in her neck and a lingering chill in her bones that didn’t seem to want to leave.
How much longer she was going to be able to pretend she wasn’t in a dire financial situation, she didn’t know. Well, at least she was going to get her tutoring money today. As soon as she left the store, she was going to go straight to the market. She could hardly wait to make something fresh for supper.
“Here’s the coffee,” Aaron announced as he returned to the showroom. “Sorry about the wait. It took me a moment to find two clean cups.”
“I needed that moment to warm up.” Joining him at the table, she tried to get right to work. “I went ahead and brought you the dates and locations for the next tests. Which one do you want to register for?”
“Well, about that.” He picked up a pencil and rolled it around in his hands. “Kayla, I don’t think I’m ready for that test. I don’t know when I’m going to be able to take it.”
“Really? But I thought you were in a hurry to take it so you could get a promotion.”
“I was. But I’m afraid if I take it and fail, it will just make me look worse.” Wrapping his hands around his cup, he said, “The fact is, Kayla, I’m just not sure if I’m ever going to be able to pass that test.”
She was shocked, but she reminded herself that even though they were in a relationship, he was still as insecure as any of her other students. He needed some encouragement. “I think you’re letting your self-doubts get the best of you. I believe in you, and you need to believe in yourself, too. You need to be positive.” He still looked torn, so she added, “I think you’re solid on the math and science section. We just need to bump up your English skills. But, we’ll get there. I know we will.”
“I don’t know.” He sighed. “See, something happened this week. I made a big mistake on an order and I had to talk to Mr. Zeiset about it. I was so
neahfich. Kayla, I thought I was going to get fired.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No, I didn’t. But what happened really surprised me. I told him how disappointed I was in myself, and I even shared how I’ve been studying for the test so I could one day achieve my big dream of getting a promotion.”
Kayla was impressed. “What did he say?”
“He reminded me that I’ve been learning a lot of things about the business during the many years I’ve worked here. He said a piece of paper wasn’t going to make much difference because he already feels ready to give me more responsibilities.”
She could tell from the way that Aaron’s voice deepened that he’d been very touched. “That’s wonderful. Truly.”
“It was incredible, that’s what it was. I went from being sure I was going to get fired to standing in the middle of the office gaping like a codfish.”
She giggled. “Goodness.”
“I’m not exaggerating. Well, not much,” he said with a grin. “I was so floored I could barely talk. I just about had tears in my eyes.”
She was so pleased for him. He was a good person. A really wonderful man. “I’m so glad Mr. Zeiset told you all that.”
“Me, too.” He sipped his coffee and took a deep breath. “But I have to face the truth.”
“What truth is that?”
“That I might never be able to pass the GED, Kayla.”
She shook her head. “Nee. That’s not true. I’m a gut tutor, Aaron. I promise, you’ll pass.”
“Nee, that’s not what I meant.” He leaned toward her. “Kayla, what I’m trying to say is that I think I’m going to give up that dream for a while. Maybe forever.”
“You don’t want to study for the test at all? You’re not interested in taking it anymore?” She honestly couldn’t believe it. They had spent hours working on various formulas in math and dozens of vocabulary words. Plus, when he’d started, he’d seemed so earnest.
A Perfect Amish Romance Page 17