Heart's a Mess

by Kylie Scott

  He heard stomping then John slamming the door closed but not locking it. And he was pretty damn sure Vi hadn't breathed through any of it.

  "It's okay," he said.

  Her beautiful bare breasts moved beneath him in a sudden rush and her hands, her lovely hands. They pushed at his chest, telling him without words to get the hell off. She was back to staring at the wall. Avoiding him with everything she had in her. Which still included him.

  "Vi, really, it's okay."

  She said nothing but those hands kept pushing. Slowly, carefully, he climbed off her, pulling his half-hard cock from the heat of her body. Her shaking hands clutched her dress back together, covering herself.

  Ah no, not again.

  "Vi, please don't freak out on me." He pulled up his pants and tucked himself inside. "Yes, I'm your boss. And yes, it was unfortunate that that just happened--"

  Her laser-beam eyes pinned him in place, then proceeded to burn straight through him.

  "Not the sex," he clarified. "John walking in on us. I do not regret the sex for a minute. Unlike you."

  "Don't tell me what I feel," she bit out.

  "Shit." Alex scrubbed his hands over his face. "Honestly, is there anything I can say to make this right?"

  The woman turned her back on him and started fixing her clothing with jerky moves. Her fancy hairdo had half fallen down her back. One of the chopsticks clattered to the floor and he picked it up with a sigh, held it out to her.

  "I have to work with him," she said. "What must he think of me?"

  "Sweetheart, John doesn't think of anyone but himself. I guarantee it. He won't even remember this happened tomorrow."

  She grabbed the chopstick from him, her shoulders slumped. She seemed to have wilted before his eyes. "Why does this keep happening between us? Every time I convince myself I can stay away from you and every time I screw it up."

  "Because there is something between us. You need to give it a chance."

  "What I need is to keep my job."

  Frustration filled him from top to toe. "Damn it! Will you listen to me? This doesn't affect your job!"

  "How can it not?" she cried. "Say we see each other for a while. Do you really think when things go sour it's not going to make us working together beyond awkward?"

  "Wait up. When things go sour?"

  "Yes."

  Ah fuck. Give him strength. "So, you've already decided this is going nowhere before it's even begun?"

  She said nothing.

  His mind reeled. "Hang on. Is this about my divorce and your rebound theory again?"

  "I don't have a great history either, okay?"

  He scrunched up his face, trying to put all the pieces together in his mind. Fact is, maybe she was right. He couldn't guarantee she wasn't, with things the way they were. His divorce had been nasty. Maybe she had a point. Or maybe he was too fucking tired to deal with this right now. Either way, he couldn't convince her if she'd already closed her mind to the idea.

  "I need to get home," she said.

  "Are you all right to drive?"

  "The cut isn't hurting and I only had a couple of sips of the gin. I'm fine."

  "Are you sure?"

  She nodded, stepped around him and left. He didn't try to stop her.

  Chapter Four

  Violet knew she'd done the right thing. Better a sting at the beginning than things getting stabby by the end. She wasn't the princess to his prince, and fairy tales were for fools and children. Time to move on with her plan of paying off her tiny, bedraggled house and getting her shit sorted. Time to be an adult and stop screwing her boss. Again. But she meant it this time.

  It had been three days since the scene in the storage room. She'd had her mid-week weekend to get herself together and she had. Sure, the first time she saw him again would be awkward and potentially painful. Then it would be over with and things could move on.

  Life would go on as it should.

  "What is this?" hissed Marie as if she'd stepped in shit. Surprising, given Violet had never met anyone quite as sweet. The woman stood with John at the restaurant counter, perusing something on the computer. Violet had only just arrived. There'd been no sign of Alex yet. Thankfully. She just hoped to God John hadn't told anyone about the scene in the storage room.

  "Huh?" John looked up, he and Marie checking out the scene at the front of the bar. "Oh, her."

  "Why is she here?" asked Marie in a flat, unhappy tone.

  "Alex asked her to go to couple's therapy with him."

  "What? Why?" Marie's pert nose scrunched up in disbelief.

  "How should I know?" The chef shrugged.

  "That's Jane?" asked Violet, already knowing the answer. The sick, unhappy feeling in her stomach confirmed it.

  "Hey," said Marie, overly cheery. Her smile looked wide and strained. So obviously she knew. "Hi, Vi."

  John plastered an equally awkward smile on his face then walked away. Though, she'd never seen the man actually smile before so it might have been his usual. Hard to tell.

  All the same, Violet wanted to be beamed up to the mothership immediately, to disappear into thin air.

  Marie glanced nervously at the scene at the door, where Alex kissed the tall, thin, beautiful, horrible Jane goodbye on the cheek. The man certainly didn't waste any time. But then, that wasn't fair or right. Violet was the interloper, the late accidental addition. Jane held all the rights when it came to him, no matter their marital status.

  Unless that was just a spectacular excuse to spare her heart from further involvement.

  Shit.

  Not until that exact moment, however, had Violet realized she'd wanted to be wrong when it came to him. She'd protested too much and had gone and lost him before they'd even begun. Or his fleeting interest had up and flit. Either way, game over. It no longer mattered. At least she still had her job. And it always happened, that was the truth. Things always went to shit eventually. Sooner hurt less than later, though it didn't feel like it right now. Her eyes were hot and gritty. She blinked resolutely, getting herself back under control. It took her a moment. Having been dumped and disappointed a hundred and one times, it should have been easier than it was.

  Alex wandered back to the bar with his usual long, lanky strides, smiling and calling out greetings to various customers as he went. It had all been some weird wet dream, an aberration, and she would treat it as such. The beautiful man didn't even look her way.

  Her sex fluttered and she ignored it. Hating that her body could still want him when her mind had shut down.

  "Are you all right?" asked Marie, her neat little brows scrunched tight.

  "Sure," said Violet, getting busy doing what they paid her to do. Because sinking to the floor in humiliation was for pussies. Big girls weathered the storms of life and stood tall. "Thanks. Wanna go shoe shopping tomorrow before work?"

  Marie grinned and her eyes lit up. "I'd love to."

  *

  A month later...

  Valentine's Day sucked.

  Violet closed the safe and carefully rose to her feet. Good God her poor, poor feet. Her new heels were killing her. So gorgeous with their tiny heart motif but so very painful.

  When would she learn?

  Hell, she'd never learn. If there was anything she had learned it was that she would never learn.

  Her toes were crushed, mutilated, a hapless victim of her need for pretty and her quest to forget. As if being subjected all night to the endless array of happy couples holding hands and wining and dining their way to ecstasy hadn't been bad enough. The shoes had been meant to fortify her throughout the long and daunting night. Instead they had brought her to an all new low. Plus, she hadn't forgotten a single thing.

  "Finished?" a voice asked. That voice.

  Any and all interaction between them had been brief, polite and straight to the point. Obviously, he was way better at forgetting than she'd ever be. The man was a champion at moving on. She should ask for lessons.

 
"Alex. Hi. Yes." Her grin felt grim.

  He tried to smile back. It didn't look quite right on him either despite the handsome face. Within a moment it had slipped away. The main problem with banging someone in the workplace was the way it came back to bite your ass on a daily basis.

  He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway. The man seemed to be waiting but for what she didn't know.

  She should say something friendly, something to ease the tension between them and put the past firmly behind. Some nice, harmless comment to let him know everything was fine between them. Yes, excellent idea. Pity her mind was a vast, empty wasteland. Her toes throbbed inside her shoes and her calves ached. Silence reigned supreme. Not awkward at all.

  "Night," he said eventually.

  "Good night."

  And he left. For a moment she stood there, staring at the empty doorway. Her heart did something weird. It kind of hurt. She drew a deep breath and shook it off. How silly. She'd go home, alone, and have a bath. That's what she'd do. Same as each and every other night. Tonight, just to mix it up, she might not lie awake thinking about him for hours. Another really good idea, shame its likelihood of eventuating.

  "Forgot my keys." Alex wandered back into the still mostly unfurnished room with another brief, uncomfortable smile. He rifled about in a desk drawer.

  "You're not living upstairs anymore?"

  "No."

  "Oh, of course not. You're back in your home."

  "Hmm?" He tucked a set of keys into his pocket.

  "With Jane."

  The man stopped and stared. "Violet, what are you talking about?"

  "Ah, I mean, John said that you were back with her. I'm sorry, we shouldn't have been discussing your private life. It just occurred to me how wrong that sounded." She shut her mouth before it wandered further afield. What a pity it didn't stay shut. "But it's great that you're happy and everything."

  "I'm happy and everything?" he asked, as if he were double checking.

  "Umm, yes." Though now that she had a good look at him, he didn't seem all that happy after all. Beautiful, yes, but happy? No, not really.

  "With Jane?" he repeated.

  "Yes? I mean, you went to counseling with her and everything. Right?"

  She didn't know exactly when he'd gotten quite so close or so tall. The man loomed over her. Possibly she had finally perfected the art of sinking into the floor during moments of duress. It wasn't completely out of the question. Since infancy she'd been trying to perfect the act during one mistake or another. Nice to know it had finally come to fruition. If only it would work a little faster.

  "Are you happy, Violet?" he asked.

  "Thank God that's over." John breezed in, oblivious.

  "Get out," his brother said.

  "What?" The Chef ground to a halt.

  "Get out," Alex repeated.

  John growled. "Again?"

  "And lock the door."

  Her shoulders hit her ears when John slammed it as well on his way out. Meanwhile, Alex took another step forward. She would have retreated but she already stood in the corner, trapped behind the big old desk with her back to the wall, trying to disappear. Sadly, it didn't seem to be working out so well for her after all.

  "Are you happy, Violet?" he asked, his voice very soft.

  "Sure." Her eyelids chose this moment to go stupid, blinking crazily.

  He set a hand on the wall to either side of her head and leaned in. "See, I'm happy enough. But I could be happier."

  "Oh?" Every proximity warning alarm in her head went nuts. For weeks she'd been doing her best to steer clear of him and now here he was, all up close and personal. It was a disaster in the making. She shoved her hands behind her back before she got grabby. The want to latch on and not let go nearly overwhelmed her.

  "You're right," he said. "I did go to counseling with Jane. I had a lot of leftover anger to deal with and she kindly agreed to help me out with that. We're talking again. I doubt we'll ever really be friends, but I feel better for it and so does she."

  "Great," she said, because she needed something to say.

  "I hadn't really started moving on from that whole situation but now I am. I got my own place and I'm getting myself sorted."

  "That's great."

  "Yeah." He nodded. "So here's the thing, Violet. I miss you. Which is kind of nuts when you consider how little time we've actually spent together. And I want you. I really do. But this is the last time we're going to have this conversation because I am moving on with my life. I have made that decision. Now, I would prefer that you were a part of it outside of work, but you need to decide for yourself if that's something you want. Do you understand?"

  "Y-yes."

  "Do you really?"

  Did she? Her mind blanked. Critical mass had been reached. "I, I, umm..."

  For a moment he waited. Then slowly, he began to back up, moving away from her. "You can do this, Violent. You just have to decide if I'm worth the risk. Give it some thought."

  "I don't know what to say."

  His smile was bittersweet. "Vi, it's as hard for me to trust you as it is for you to trust me. I get it, sweetheart. I really do. But we've both got to start somewhere."

  Her heart beat so hard she might have been having a heart attack. Or maybe a panic attack. One of the two. Problem was, it wasn't him that she didn't trust. It was her. Her decisions sucked. History confirmed it. This one already hurt, wouldn't going back for more just compound the issue?

  Alex kept his eyes on her as he backed to the door, flicked the lock and opened it. "Night, Vi."

  *

  Alex forced a grin as the blonde in front of him giggled and did her best to spill her cleavage onto the bar. "Negroni, coming right up."

  Cue another giggle.

  The bar had been packed solid, standing-room only. Things were finally starting to calm down. So far as he could see, the restaurant had been busy too. They'd be closing up now and the bar wouldn't be far behind. He hadn't heard a peep from Violet since their talk last night. That was what...almost twenty-four hours? Time enough if she felt the way he did. He was not being the least bit unreasonable.

  Fuck it. He'd done all he could. If she wasn't prepared to take a chance on him then that was that. Having spent years trying to keep Jane happy when she wasn't invested, he wouldn't be going straight back into a similar situation with another woman.

  He handed the blonde her drink with a friendly smile and put the cash in the register. Then he turned to face the next customer.

  "Violet."

  "Hi," she said.

  "Hey. How you doing?"

  "Good."

  Her hair was piled up on top of her head again in some ornate 'do. No one had cleavage like Violet did. No one could even compare. She wore a plain black blouse and one of those tight knee-length skirts she liked. He'd spied it earlier as she'd bent to pick something up. Amazing that he hadn't swallowed his tongue. But he wouldn't be running after her. No, not him. He was done making a dick of himself.

  The blonde beside her made disgruntled noises. Violet ignored her. So did he.

  "I noticed the furniture was back in the office," she said.

  "Yeah," he chuckled. "It was time."

  Her green eyes looked huge and gorgeous, lined in black, and her lips shone like the stars. "Lucky you never had to move the desk. It looks really heavy."

  "Ah, yeah. I bet it would be."

  "Yeah." She smiled. "It's probably really solidly built."

  "Mm."

  She nodded all contemplative like. Where the hell was she going with this?

  The blonde fluffed her hair.

  "Well," said Vi, rolling back her shoulders in the best possible way. Nothing else existed. She had his complete and undivided attention. "I'm just going out back now."

  "Right."

  "To the office." Her hand toyed with the pendant around her neck, a cherry by the look of it. "That's where I'll be."

  "Okay."

 
"Where that big, strong, solid desk is."

  "Huh." He always had liked that desk. Best desk ever. And the overwhelming urge he had to be with it right now could not be denied.

  "Bye, Alex." The woman turned and meandered off into the crowd, toward the staff exit. With a little extra something put into her step if he wasn't mistaken. Hard to tell with all the people around, but still.

  "Just go," said Duncan before he could utter a word.

  "Thanks."

  He went.

  Violent had her back to him when he stormed in after her. He locked the door and she turned to face him, fingers undoing the line of little buttons on her blouse.

  "Vi, are you planning on using me for sex?"

  "You don't want to play boss and the secretary with me?" She shucked the blouse, dropping it on the floor. Damn, she had on his old friend, the dark-gray bra. She wore it so well. His mouth watered.

  "Mostly I'm just curious," he said. Curious and also so hard he hurt.

  "I thought about what you said." Her hands slipped behind her back and he heard the zipper on her skirt go down. Then her hands, her lovely hands, pushed the black material over her hips, past her ass and down to the ground. She stepped out of it and stood before him. His world pretty much stopped right there and then.

  "Fuck."

  She smiled. "I wore them for you."

  Gray silk suspenders and knickers to match the bra. Lace panels the same storm cloud color and two little bows. His brain left the building. It was that simple. Lush, pale curves, silk lingerie and black heels.

  "I missed you too," she said, eyes bright. "Isn't that silly? I saw you nearly every day but..."

  He crossed to her and cupped her pretty face, kissed her perfect lips. She opened to him, teasing his tongue with her own, driving him nuts. But then, she always had. When she moaned his name, he lost it more than a little. Lucky she still knew his name because he'd basically forgotten. His mind had been wiped clean. There was nothing but her.

  Her hands popping the buttons on his shirt and pushing it off his shoulders.

  Her clever fingers getting into his jeans at record speed and wrapping around his cock.

  And her mouth; he could kiss her forever.

  Kissing Alex was great, heavenly. Having Alex fuck her while she bent over the desk however would be even better. Her sex squeezed tight at the thought. He made her hungry and hot and a bit of a mess. But that was okay because he was right there with her.

  Violet broke the kiss and turned, assuming the position. Hands stroked over her back and slid down to cup her ass cheeks. The feel of his hot, wet mouth on the back of her thigh made her jump. "Alex."