by Layla Nash
"Just stay here. I'll get one of our maps." He waited until she nodded to straighten and walk back to the door, completely at ease and unhurried, though he glanced back at her a couple of times to make sure she didn't budge. Kira wanted to smile as he almost ran into the doorframe, but her jaw ached too much.
Kira gazed at the uppermost branches of the trees surrounding the Lodge, mesmerized by the gentle sway, and tried to prepare herself for spending the night inside a small room without windows or real air. Jaguars loved to be up high. If she could sleep in the trees every night, she would. After too long in a cramped dorm room in college, she'd developed a severe case of claustrophobia and could hardly stand to be inside. Kira blinked as someone squeezed her shoulder, and she looked up to see a concerned look on Ethan's face. The mop guy also stood nearby, eyes wide.
Ethan held a large paper map, though all his attention focused on her. "Are you okay? Cooper asked if you needed water or toast or something, and you didn't answer."
She made a face — with only half her face — and tried to smile or grimace at the mop guy. "Sorry about that. I didn't hear you over the ringing in my ears."
Ethan snorted, but nodded to the other man. "Thanks, Coop. Water would be good, and another ice pack." Then he dragged a second chair right next to Kira's, and used a third as a table to spread the map out.
Kira watched him, not the map, even though she knew she needed to pay attention. The hike would be a difficult one, and finding the cameras might not be as easy as Dr. Reston had promised. If the GPS handset wasn't able to link up with the chips in the camera blinds, all she had were some coordinates to try to navigate. And with the way the trip had gone after only part of a day, there was no telling what else would go wrong.
She took a deep breath and resisted the urge to lean her head against Ethan's shoulder and take a short nap. Kira blinked to clear her vision and focused all of her attention on the map as he started to talk about where they would enter the backcountry. She well knew that the wilderness could kill. Foolish flirting and getting distracted by the man beside her was just trouble.
Ethan
Ethan had been through many trip briefings. Almost too many to count, if he considered his time in the French Foreign Legion and all the days they'd spent preparing for missions and training and exercises. He'd probably spent at least half his life standing over a map, giving directions and figuring out the best way forward.
And all of that fell out of his damn head as soon as Kira looked at him.
His stomach jumped to his throat and his heart started to pound and his palms went all sweaty. He cleared his throat multiple times, grumbling, and started with useless tourist information about the places to enter the national park from the privately-owned land managed by Simon and the company. Ethan traced a path through the park, to the general vicinity of where those damn cameras were supposed to be, and dared a glance at her.
Luckily Kira was still awake, although she managed to look adorably confused as her fingers ghosted over the route he'd traced. She still smelled faintly of blood and little of adrenaline and pain, but underneath it all was the wild honeysuckle scent of her skin. Ethan forced himself to pay attention as she asked about elevation and weather, and he offered up the possibilities of a dangerous thunderstorm or an early snow. Both happened frequently enough that he always planned on them. But Kira didn't seem concerned; she just nodded and made a joke about dressing in layers.
Ethan leaned back in his chair as she continued to study the map, her lips moving as she silently counted something to herself. He wanted to touch her arm or her shoulder or her cheek, the bear mesmerized by her. "Do you go camping a lot? With your family or friends or..."
He trailed off, and his cheeks burned as she quirked an eyebrow. Of course he sounded like he was fishing for information on a boyfriend or fiancé or someone who might have a claim on her affections.
But Kira shook her head, going back to her perusal of the map. "I used to go hiking with my family, but we haven't done that in a while. I've been so busy with school I haven't had time lately. I was really looking forward to this trip."
Something in the tone of her voice made him worried maybe that had changed. Maybe getting lost and then hit in the face with a car trunk took away some of the enjoyment. He snorted to himself, then shook his head when that quizzical eyebrow returned. Maybe it was the only part of her face that didn't hurt.
Ethan sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's beautiful country, so it'll be a nice hike. Lots of birds this time of year, deer and elk. The bears will probably be out, getting ready for winter, and we'll likely see wolves and mountain lions. Well, we'll hear them for sure and see them if we're not lucky," and he smiled to show he was only joking.
"I hope we see something," she said, glancing up as Cooper reappeared with water, sodas, some snacks, and a fresh ice pack. He winked at her and Ethan wanted to growl, but the kid retreated fairly quickly, so Kira had to call her thanks after him as Cooper disappeared inside. She took a deep breath and tapped the map with conviction. "Or that the cameras have seen something. I can't write up a study on the territory and ranges of wolverines in the Pacific Northwest if we don't have any data."
"Wolverines?" Ethan wanted to laugh. "That's what you're studying?"
"They're noble animals," she said, lifting her chin and looking imperiously at him. With the swelling in her jaw, it made for quite an impression. "Well, they're scavengers. Fierce. One of the scariest animals in the world, and very few people ever see them. Well, outside of comic books and the movies – but admiring the animal on a movie screen doesn’t always translate to protecting them in real life. They were almost hunted to extinction, and even now we estimate fewer than three hundred live in the lower 48." Kira took a deep breath, shaking her head as she went back to looking at the map, and her voice lowered. "When I look at them, I see all the endangered predators. All the at-risk populations that humans have driven out of their natural habitat. It's scary to think that some day, there won't be wolverines in the world. There might not be wolves or bears or mountain lions. And wouldn't that be lonely?"
Ethan's breath caught at the sadness in her tone. Lonely. As if the loss would be a personal one. And he wondered why she felt that way. He felt the same, though it was more from the fear of losing other bear shifters, since they, too, were endangered. He and Simon and the rest of the bears at the Lodge all faced the peril of a world with no other shifters. Since humans discovered shifters lived among them, it seemed as though the two-natured were being targeted in some parts of the country and were dying out faster than age and injury could account for. She had a big heart, to feel so deeply for animals.
And part of him hoped she might feel the same way about shifters, if she even believed they existed.
He managed to nod, suddenly aware of how long the silence had stretched. "It would be, very much. Some people find it creepy when the wolves start howling at night, but I always thought it was... friendly. They're calling their loved ones. Sharing news."
Kira smiled more as she looked at him, and relief washed through Ethan as it looked like the swelling retreated from her jaw. The anti-inflammatories must have kicked in. He glanced at his watch, then tilted his head at the Lodge. "Are you hungry?"
She took a deep breath and started to stand, grimacing a little as she said, "Yep. Sometimes I think I'm always hungry."
But the way she looked at the door to the Lodge made it clear she didn't want to set foot inside. Ethan didn't mind. He didn't want to share her with Simon or the guys or even the guests. He wanted to monopolize her time, to save the music of her voice for himself, to be the only one who made her smile or huff that soft laugh. So he pushed to his feet first and gently nudged her to stay in the chair. "Nah, you hang out here. It'll be crowded in the dining room, with all the guests who showed up today. I'll grab a couple of plates and bring them out here, if that's okay with you?"
She practically beamed at him as she sprawled
across the massive chair, suddenly more relaxed than she'd been since she arrived. Ethan would have purred in satisfaction but tried to act naturally as she smiled. "That would be great."
"Right. Okay," he said, a little gruffer than he intended, and he headed for the kitchen.
Inside, voices and clattering silverware made quite a ruckus coming from the dining room, and Ethan exhaled in relief to know he didn't have to sit through another group meal. Simon stood in the kitchen, frowning at a pot of boiling water, and glanced up as Ethan strode in and started collecting dishes. "Everything going okay?"
The tone of his voice made Ethan pause, once more suspicious of Simon's intent. He faced his friend and battle buddy, trying to trust the man. "Spill already. What the hell are you up to?"
Simon leaned against the counter and nodded at the boiling water. "Coop thought Kira wouldn't be able to chew much, so he put some potatoes on to boil in case mashed potatoes were easier to get down."
"I'll thank Cooper as soon as I see him," Ethan said, voice flat. He and Simon had been through a lot together, but the man had never done anything like this before. Ethan almost felt like he was being set up to be the butt of some ridiculous, colossal joke. "Now what the hell is going on?"
"I don't know, exactly." When Ethan's expression darkened, Simon held his hands up. "Dude, I mean it. Reston requested a favor, said his grad student is looking at predators up in this area and asked if she could borrow one of my guys as a guide. I pushed back, and then he said..." Simon paused, looking up at the ceiling as if trying to recall the exact words, then shook his head and leveled an odd look at Ethan. "He said she was 'uniquely suited for this project, and to work in the backcountry.'"
"What the fuck does that mean? Uniquely suited?"
Simon lowered his voice as he glanced past Ethan toward the dining room and the guests, and only went on when it became clear they were still alone. "Reston is a shifter. A wolf. He's still hidden, though. Worried about what the boosters at his university will say about a dangerous animal teaching their precious freshman. Tenure doesn't take being two-natured into account, man. He's worried about losing his job."
"But if he knows about... others," Ethan said, also glancing around to make sure no one eavesdropped. "Then he might recognize those traits? Is that what you're suggesting? You think she's a shifter?"
Ethan's heart leapt with hope. Until Simon held his hands up in surrender, then pulled the pot of potatoes off the burner and drained it in the sink. "Dude, I don't know. Maybe."
Ethan couldn't unstick his feet from the floor. He knew that Kira waited outside, hungry, but he couldn't walk away from what Simon might know. "Then why me? Why did you want me to be the one to take her out on this trip?"
"Because you're miserable, man." Simon shook his head, tossing the boiled potatoes in a bowl with butter, milk, cheddar cheese, and a hint of garlic. "I thought it would be a nice distraction, particularly if she turned out to be cute and funny and smarter than you. Which clearly she is."
"I'm not miserable," Ethan said. He forced himself to load two plates with the vegetables, rolls, grilled fish, and other side dishes that someone — probably Finn — had cooked. He wanted Kira to have choices, even though the mashed potatoes smelled delicious. "I'm just — I don't know. Bored, maybe."
"Look." Simon left the potatoes alone, half-mashed, and folded his arms over his chest as he leveled a hard look at Ethan. "Ever since Zoe and I got together, you've moped around here, snapped at the guys, hidden away in your office... You're a pain in the ass to live with."
"I'm not —"
"You haven't shifted in two months," Simon said, voice low. "That's not healthy. You stay outside all the time, but you won't go bear. That's a sickness."
Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose. Everything Simon said was true; Ethan knew it in his heart. But that didn't make it easy to admit. Particularly when his best friend was the one calling him a jackass. He took a deep breath and met Simon's gaze directly. "It's too hard to come back from the change, man. The last time I shifted, right after you started building the cabin for Zoe, I almost stayed bear. I almost walked into the woods and left everything behind."
Simon's eyebrows rose, and Ethan almost regretted finally telling him the truth. But he owed his buddy that. More than that, really. He owed Simon his life. Ethan ran a hand through his hair, letting out a gusty sigh. "I'm happy for you. I am. Please don't think I'm not. But it's hard to see how happy you two are and know that I'm not going to find that."
"You might if —"
"There's no one in Bear Creek for me," Ethan said. He turned his attention back to the plates and finished mashing the potatoes. He shook his head, gathering up utensils as well. "There's no one. And that's fine. I don't want to leave here. So I have to make peace with that, don't I?"
Simon shook his head, suddenly looking more bear-like as he tugged on his beard and it grew bushier and bushier. "No. You don't have to give up, Ethan. It'll happen."
"Right." Ethan didn't want to hope that Kira might be the best thing to ever happen in his life, because he'd only known her a few hours. The thought that he could love her — might already love her — terrified him all the way to his bones. Because she would leave. And then he'd be alone having known love and lost it.
Ethan shook his head when it looked like Simon would say more, and instead only gathered up the plates and headed for the door. He wanted to feed Kira, make sure she was content, and then find her a safe, warm place to sleep. He had at least a week with her, on the hike, so there would be plenty of time to get to know her better. And for her to get to know him.
He just hoped she liked what she learned.
Kira
They eventually had to go inside as the temperature dropped and the food disappeared, though Kira wouldn't have minded if Ethan started a fire in the fire-pit so she could breathe easy just a little longer. But at least her heart had calmed enough that sleep was a possibility. Ethan still watched her closely and occasionally asked her to tilt her head so he could check the swelling on her jaw. Kira obliged, a little worried he would notice that the bruises healed too fast, but Ethan only made concerned noises and handed her more pills.
The enormous house quieted later in the evening when they finally brought the dishes back to the kitchen, and the big guy, Simon, and the dark haired woman who'd turned green at the sight of Kira's blood sat in the great-room in front of the fireplace. They looked up as Ethan and Kira walked in, and Kira's steps slowed. She'd never really been the kind of girl who had a lot of female friends. Her fellow jaguar and tiger and lion shifters were all a bit catty naturally, and going through high school and college only made things worse as competition for everything increased. But she shouldn't have worried — Simon smiled in welcome and gestured for both she and Ethan to sit, and the woman asked if they needed anything.
Ethan glanced at her, and Kira cleared her throat. "Thank you, but I think I'll head to bed. I need to check some of my equipment before we leave, and I think we're getting an early start?"
"Five," Ethan said, and the dark-haired woman groaned.
She peered at him, shaking her head. "I don't know how you do it."
"Zoe is not a morning person," Simon said, and leaned to kiss her. "Which is why she never leads long camping trips. I don't think the tourists would survive her morning grumbles."
She looked only somewhat irritated as she poked his side, and Kira was almost tempted to linger, to maybe learn more about them. Something about the Lodge, Ethan, Simon and his fiancé, called to her. But her head still ached, regardless of the medication Ethan gave her, and Kira wasn't much of a morning person, either.
Ethan led the way to the back of the house on the first floor, to a quiet little alcove and a single door. He unlocked the door and leaned in, flipping the light switch before going in, and he went through the room, turning on lights. He paused inside the room, gesturing at another door. "Bathroom is there. You should have plenty of plugs if you nee
d to recharge anything, and there's an alarm clock on the bedside table."
Kira set her backpack down on the bed, relieved that her other bag had made it into the room at some point during her time in the infirmary, and nodded. "Sounds good. We're leaving at five?"
"Yeah," he said, and headed for the door. He paused next to her, though, and took a deep breath. "If your head is still bothering you, we can easily delay for a day or two. I can take you into town if you want to see the real doctor."
"I think I'll feel a lot better tomorrow morning," Kira said. She really hoped so. And she hoped her heart stopped leaping every time he looked at her, every time he spoke or moved. She hoped the temptation to stay at the Lodge forever also disappeared. She tried to smile. "I promise. And I'll tell you if I don't."
"Make sure you do," he said, but he didn't move as the silence stretched and only the sound of their breathing disturbed the quiet.
Kira looked up at him, heart starting to race, and couldn't look away from his steely blue eyes. Something flashed gold in their depths, and everything else in the room disappeared. She couldn't think, couldn't move. He leaned in, as if he was going to kiss her, and Kira's lips parted in anticipation. She tried to breathe normally, wanting to reach out to touch him, to stroke his cheek, but her arms refused to move.
Ethan took another deep breath, almost a grumble in his chest, and his eyes searched her face for something. Kira reached out, rested the tips of her fingers on the warm cotton of his shirt, and felt the room tilt around her as vertigo stole away her balance. Vertigo or just lust… it was hard to tell.
She wanted more of him. Needed more of him. The jaguar's abrupt hunger, the demand to see more of his skin, nearly overwhelmed her, and she closed her eyes as Ethan leaned closer. Her heart thrummed against her ribs. He was going to kiss her. They would kiss, and it would be perfect, and then maybe he would stay the night.