by Layla Nash
The air moved and Kira opened her eyes just in time to see the door close quietly behind Ethan. He left without a word, and Kira stared at the blank wood of the door. So maybe she'd misread the situation. Maybe he'd just been trying to tell whether her pupils were still dilated, or some other indication of a concussion. She groaned and covered her face, flopping backwards onto the neatly-made bed. Just great. She'd almost kissed him, just in time to head into a week-long hiking trip that promised to be solid awkwardness from start to finish. Just fantastic.
She pulled herself together and brushed it off. Ethan should have been flattered that she considered kissing him, and even more so that she wouldn't have minded him staying over. Sometimes Kira misread signals, but she'd been pretty damn sure he wanted to kiss and snuggle and do God only knew what else. The jaguar had been sure, too, and the jaguar was never wrong.
Kira got up and retrieved the backpack full of gear. Fine. She wasn't there to fall in love or even to get laid. Even if it had been a very long time since she'd been with anyone. The jaguar preferred to be solitary, and there weren't many guys who would put up with the various projects and passions she discovered and obsessed over. But it didn't matter. She was there to check the cameras, document any improvements in the wolverine population in the outer limits of the Cascades, and then she'd go back to the university to report to Dr. Reston about the results.
She concentrated on the cameras, portable hard-drives, memory cards, and other technical equipment she needed to successfully re-set the blinds. She couldn't get distracted. Kira only had enough grant money left for a semester, and if she didn't get that project off the ground or finish her research, she'd be stuck. Again.
When everything was finally set, checked, re-checked, and re-charged, she went through her camping gear and the hiking pack she'd brought. Kira took her time with the gear, even though the jaguar started to get nervous about being cooped up inside for so long, but rushed through washing her face and brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed. Part of her almost regretted not bringing any makeup on the trip. Reston told her she'd be traveling with some old friends, so she'd assumed the friends were as old and uninteresting as he was, so there wouldn't be any need to impress them.
Whatever Simon and Ethan were, they weren't old or uninteresting. Ethan in particular looked like the kind of man who would uncover all of her secrets. And that made him very dangerous. She couldn't let her guard down, because part of her also knew that she wouldn't care if he discovered she was different.
Kira turned off the lights and climbed into bed, shaking her head despite the continuing ache in her jaw and some stiffness in her neck. Ethan seemed different from the one other guy who'd learned she wasn't human. That guy had run for the hills without looking back, and probably tried to get himself doused in holy water to eradicate any traces of where the 'demon cat' had touched him. She buried her face in the fluffy down pillows and groaned, wanting to punch that ass at just the memory of the look on his face. Ethan had to be different. He'd thought of wolf howls as friendly. He had to be different from all the others.
She didn't fall sleep for a long time, instead playing out in her mind all the possible ways she could tell Ethan she was a shifter, and imagining all the different ways he could reject her. Kira wanted to be an optimist, but too often that hope seemed unfounded. She needed to finish the work, get back to school, and figure out what to do if she graduated on time. Everywhere she looked, the future was uncertain.
Ethan
Two days into the hike, they'd almost reached the first camera. Ethan made a face as they worked slowly through an overgrown path. He'd wanted to kiss Kira so badly, that last night at the Lodge, but he'd fled like a coward. She'd even touched him, had closed her eyes and parted her lips in invitation, and he couldn't do it. Ethan wanted to groan as the bear complained yet again at him for not getting his shit together. Kira followed silently behind him, and hadn't said much the entire trip.
She'd changed as they'd moved deeper into the mountains and forests. She relaxed, grew more graceful and self-assured. She belonged in the wilderness; she felt at home there. That much was obvious. He wondered why she didn't want to stay, but didn't dare ask. Answers to questions like that could turn uncomfortably personal, and he didn't want to make the trip any more awkward than it already was.
He adjusted the straps of his hiking pack and repositioned some of the weight. All things considered, Kira was an ideal hiking partner. She didn't complain, she carried her share of the equipment and supplies, and she didn't insist on talking unless there was something important to discuss. Of course, Ethan missed the sound of her voice, so it wasn't all perfect.
He'd left her room that night and fled back to the great room, where Simon took one look at him and started to grin — so Ethan went back outside to cool off. He'd almost gone to knock on Kira's door at least half a dozen times, but each time, he stopped in the hall before retreating. He'd never been so indecisive before, but he didn't want to scare her off. She was special. He had to do things right.
Ethan paused in a small clearing, looking around as he checked the map. Kira stood next to him, frowning as she looked around. Ethan pointed at their current location, then at the small pencil mark that denoted the first camera site. "I don't think we'll make it by sundown."
"We shouldn't camp near the blind anyway," she said, and started to loosen her pack. "We'd leave too much scent behind and none of the animals would use that area. This place is good."
"Too easy." Ethan dropped his pack and started to unload the camp stove and food for dinner, throwing out the tarp that went under the tents.
Kira worked silently on setting up the tents while Ethan started preparing the meal. It was a division of labor that happened naturally the first night. Ethan hated assembling tents and Kira didn't seem to like the propane stove, so they divvied things up and everyone was happy. He kept his attention on the stove and the small pot of water, thinking pasta was a good way to go for dinner, but watched Kira in his peripheral vision.
The bear loved her. He'd been torn over whether to walk in front, so Ethan would run into anything dangerous first and could protect her better, but that also put him upwind of her, so he never caught any hints of her scent as she walked. They traded off throughout the day, though, which satisfied both the bear and Kira. Ethan checked over the rifle he carried, loaded for bear, and left it propped up against a tree.
He'd been against carrying the weapon, but the morning they left, Simon took him aside and recommended Ethan bring the rifle. They'd had trouble with poachers and smugglers using the national park for their own nefarious purposes, and a bear attack was always a possibility. Ethan knew he'd shift to protect Kira, so the rifle wouldn't be much use, but it made Simon feel better about sending them out alone. And Ethan didn't want to shift in front of Kira until he had a chance to explain. If he had a chance to explain.
Kira straightened from setting up one of the tents and grimaced, pressing her hands to her lower back. "I think I slept on a rock last night."
"You can't blame me for that," he said, trying not to grin. "I told you that part of the trail was full of roots and —"
"I know," she said, sighing. "Roots and rocks, everywhere I tried to lay down. I swear, it's like I have a special talent for finding the spot that seems comfortable when you first lay down, but about ten seconds after you fall asleep, it turns into a bed of nails. It always happens."
"I'm sure it doesn't always happen," he said, stirring the pasta into the water and adjusting the flame on the burner.
She shot him a searing look and Ethan laughed, holding his hands up. "Okay, maybe it always happens. I'm sorry. I'll give you my bedroll, if it makes you feel better."
"I'm not going to take your bedroll," she said, and sat on a fallen log, stretching her legs out in front of her. "At least until I change my mind tonight and have to drag my tent all the way over here. If I don't get a good night's sleep, I might lose my mind."
"We can't have that," Ethan said. He had to bite back another smile as her expression darkened, and Ethan nodded at the pot of pasta. "You keep an eye on the food and I'll test out the ground."
Kira laughed, sitting on her heels as she fussed with the tarp and some of the tent stakes. "You're ridiculous."
Ethan loved when she laughed. Loved it. Wanted more. He didn't mind being a clown if that broke her out of the solemn shell she hid behind. So he picked out a spot in the small clearing and stretched out, wiggling on the dirt and patches of grass to test for stones or lumps or anything that might bother her. Kira watched him, shaking her head and smiling, as Ethan rolled a few feet to the side and repeated the maneuver, testing for rocks. He stretched his arms out, searching for a better spot, and lifted his head to catch her eye. "I think we have a winner."
"Oh really?" She folded her arms over her chest, trying but failing to suppress a smile. "That exact spot?"
"I stake my reputation on it," Ethan said, and heaved to his feet. He was getting too old for shit like that, but the ache in his knees was worth it when she still looked amused. "You'll sleep like a baby, right there."
"Okay," Kira said. She slid him a sideways look as she tossed the tarp over that particular spot, followed by the tent she'd half-assembled. She marched over and bumped him out of the way with her hip, giving him a sideways look as she shook out the tent. "We'll see if your reputation survives the night."
Ethan laughed, shocked and delighted into speechlessness, and could only stand back to watch as she efficiently staked the tent, unrolled her inflatable mat, and tossed the sleeping bag into the tent. She crawled into the tent, muttering about testing it out before committing, and the sight of her ass disappearing into the tent distracted him. She had a lovely behind, and he'd enjoyed every moment of her hiking in front of him. Ethan shook his head and returned to the propane stove. He had to keep it together.
He tended the pasta, adding some veggies and a dehydrated marinara that wasn't great but tolerable, and tried to dismiss thoughts of Kira snuggled up in her sleeping bag. He wished he'd thought to bring the two-person tent, instead of using two of the one-person tents. He wracked his brain every minute to figure out a way to start a real conversation with her, but so far every subject was either the forest, her cameras, or tending the campsite. Ethan rubbed his forehead. He thought she was flirting with him, particularly with the hip bump and the way her gaze tracked him through the trees, but he couldn't be sure.
So he formulated a plan. He'd done a lot of planning in the Legion, with Simon and Coop and their guys. Small unit tactics, mostly, and focused against people who wanted to kill them rather than a beautiful girl, but Ethan figured he had the advantage in a one-on-one situation. He stirred the pasta slowly, glad the marinara looked almost edible when combined with pasta and the last of the sweaty cheese he'd brought along. Maybe when they got back to the Lodge, he'd cook her a real meal. Something impressive enough to convince her to stay.
Kira reappeared, wearing her pajamas — thin yoga pants and a baggy t-shirt — and flip-flops, and peered into the pot as she stood next to him. "Dinner?"
"Almost ready," he said, and nodded toward where his pack leaned against a tree. "Grab the bowls and forks."
"Right-o," she said.
He concentrated on scooping the messy pasta into the two bowls, and tried to sound casual as he asked, "So how did you get into this wildlife research stuff, anyway? You seem very focused for someone your age."
"My age?" She laughed again, and gently jabbed one of the forks against his shoulder. "I'm not that young, grandpa."
"It was supposed to be a compliment," he said, trying not to smile too much. God, he loved her laugh. "Since I'm a grandpa in my mid-thirties, that makes you a young whippersnapper at...?"
"Twenty-five." Kira took her pasta and sat on the fallen log, and she tossed him the water bottle from his pack. "And I always loved animals. I wanted to be a vet, at first, or at least that's what my parents remember. But then we had a dog who got sick and when we took him to the vet, well... You know." She frowned down at the pasta, introspective once more, and Ethan held his breath. Then she shrugged and concentrated on eating instead. "I wanted to learn more about the animals that people fear. Wolves, bears, mountain lions, wolverines... They can't tell their story, so someone has to."
"That's very noble," Ethan said. He took a bite of the pasta and made a face, groaning as he reached for the salt. "And even more noble of you to pretend this is edible."
That hint of a smile touched her face as she watched him from under her eyelashes. "Normally I'd say I've eaten much worse, but..."
Ethan laughed, choking down another bite. "You're too kind. There are granola bars in my pack. I don't want you to suffer to protect my ego. I'm normally a much better cook."
"I'll take your word for it," she said, then rested her chin on her fist, watching him. "And how did you end up out here, anyway? This is kind of a random place to choose. Are you related to Simon? Is that why you're all living out here together?"
He used the pasta as an excuse to pause, gulping water to clear the taste from his mouth and to give him time to think. They didn't like to be too open about their past and how the misfit bears all gathered together at the Lodge. Simon didn't want outsiders to know too much about their shifter status, if only so they didn't become a tourist attraction and turn the town into a zoo. So it was a complex question to answer. As he hesitated, her eyebrow rose. Kira smiled just a bit. "That scandalous? Are you all bank robbers, on the run? Illegitimate children of European royalty, hiding out?"
Ethan snorted. "Nothing that interesting, I promise. I met Simon in the French Foreign Legion. We both served a couple of tours. Got to see the world — well, mostly the bad parts of it. But we met some good people. Cooper, for one. After a particularly nasty job in Africa, we all got out and kind of drifted apart. I heard from Simon a couple of months later, saying he was starting this tour company out here and that he needed help. So I figured I could give it a shot for a little while and see how thing went. That was four years ago, and here we are."
"Here we are," she said, and her gaze locked with his.
For a moment, dizziness rolled over him and Ethan would have fallen if he hadn't been sitting on the ground. It felt like he was stuck in one place, Kira with him, and the world rotated around them. There they were. Together. As if every twist and turn in their lives led them to that exact moment. Here we are.
He cleared his throat and tried to smile, trying to shake off the goose bumps that prickled his arms. "Besides, I found I preferred living out here to trying to exist in a city or even a town. Too many people, too much noise, and you can't see the stars at night because of the light. It's just easier out here. Nice and simple, quiet, predictable."
"I do like the quiet," she said. Kira gazed up the sky as it darkened, the sun set far beyond their mountain. "That's the only thing about school that bugs me. It's so loud I can barely think sometimes. And the rooms are too small. There are never enough windows, so it always feels closed in, closed off." She shivered, rubbing her arms, and set the pasta down to fish for one of the granola bars he'd mentioned.
"Some of the universities have satellite campuses," he said. Ethan tried to sound casual, as if it were only a random tidbit of information he'd stumbled across, and not a plea for her to stay. "And in town, there are a couple of kids who are finishing up degrees with online classes. Is that an option for you?"
"Maybe." Kira wiggled her toes and he noticed the bright blue polish for the first time. "I've done all of the coursework already. I just have to finish the damn paper, once I get all my data collected. The grant stipulates that I teach some classes for Dr. Reston, but he's got half a dozen grad students to torment. If I could find a way to pay the tuition without relying on grants or subsidies, I could work anywhere."
She sighed, then forced a smile. "Dare to dream, right?"
"Could your parents help you with th
e money?"
"Nah." Kira shrugged and didn't go on, frowning down at her toes.
Ethan made a mental note of her family not being a great topic for conversation, and moved on with the plan. "If you study wildlife, have you seen any of the shapeshifters? Do people study them, how they're related to predators?"
She froze, her toes digging into the flimsy sandals, and her eyes were bright when she looked at him. "Why would I study them? They're people, right? Just — different."
Something in his chest relaxed at her response, although he wondered about her reaction. Almost panicked, and definitely wary. Did she suspect he was different? Ethan shrugged, feigning nonchalance as he finished up the last of his pasta. "True. I was just curious if science has found the link from humans to shifters and from shifters to animals. There's got to be something there, right? Evolution or something?"
"Magic," she said under her breath. "Just magic, it seems like."
"Good to know." Ethan wiped his bowl out with dirt and grass, cleaning out the last of the pasta and getting up to retrieve her bowl. "I'll clean these up, if you don't mind getting the bear bag all packed?"
Kira hopped to her feet and got the heavy-duty, waterproof bag from her pack. They went through cleaning up the dinner mess, then brushed their teeth, and packed all the scented and food items into the bag. Since Kira was already in flip-flops, Ethan took the bag away from the campsite and found a tree with a nice, long limb where he could hang the bag, safe from bears and any other scavengers that wanted their food.
He didn't mind the walk. The quiet gave him time to think. At least Kira didn't hate shifters, or believe them equivalent to animals. There was room there to work. And she didn't want to stay in the city. Ethan smiled as he swung the rope over the tree limb, then started hauling the bag up. He needed to figure out how much tuition would cost, because he was pretty sure he could cover it.
He tied off the rope and double-checked that the bear bag was secure, then headed back to the campsite with a smile. Here we are.