Just One Destiny

by Jade Winters

‘She’s happy. That’s all I care about.’

  ‘So I take it your interest in interior design doesn’t come from your mother?’

  ‘It was my dad actually.’ A genuine smile broke out on Carissa’s face. ‘We lived in this tiny little flat over a pet shop, but Dad always dreamt of getting a house—somewhere with a garden. He’d spend hours describing it to me. I guess I got into the habit of dreaming about all the things we’d do to the place together. My interest just took off from there.’

  ‘And your mum?’

  ‘My mum resented my dad for being poor. I guess that’s why she loves her job so much. She gets to hang out with powerful rich men, even if it’s only for a few hours. She can pretend to be the woman she wants to be,’ Carissa said without any inflection in her tone. She turned to look at Teal and her eyes were bleary and unfocused. ‘My mum left us when I was eight.’

  ‘Well, I’m sure your father’s thrilled about the fact that he inspired your career,’ Teal said, trying to move the conversation onto something brighter.

  Carissa smiled sadly. ‘My dad doesn’t know about my career. He’s dead.’

  Teal’s sympathy was immediately aroused. ‘Oh God. I’m sorry.’

  ‘It was a long time ago,’ Carissa said, brushing Teal’s apology away with a wave of her hand.

  ‘I don’t think time necessarily helps with some losses.’

  ‘No, I suppose not.’

  ‘When did he die?’

  ‘When I was ten. Brain haemorrhage. He just collapsed one day in the kitchen. I called an ambulance and they rushed him to the closest hospital but he died before they got him there.’

  Though Carissa’s eyes brimmed with sadness, Teal could see a steely determination in them. She did not come across as the sort of person who nursed her grief. She had faced it and moved on. Like I should.

  ‘Tell me about your dad,’ Teal said on instinct.

  When Carissa spoke, it was with both affection and grief. ‘How long have you got?’

  ‘However long it takes.’

  Chapter Seven

  Carissa awoke early the next morning, eager to start her day. Organisation came naturally to her, but she was also anxious to see Teal again. She glanced at her watch with a start when she realised it had only been five hours since they had called it a night. Teal had been a patient listener as she recounted her past, but trying to get anything out of Teal had proved harder than she thought. Something about her demanded distance. Especially when it came to emotions.

  Carissa took a shower and dressed in a white vest and black cropped trousers. For no other reason than habit, she applied a little blusher and eyeliner then gave her lips a quick slash of lipstick before making her way downstairs. The sound of Teal’s voice led her to the living room. Pushing the door open, Carissa found Teal talking to a woman who she presumed was the contractor.

  They both turned when she entered. Carissa’s heart leapt into her throat when Teal gave her an appreciative look. Before she could consider what this reaction meant, Nicole brushed past Teal and walked over to Carissa, her hand outstretched.

  ‘Mmm,’ Nicole clicked her tongue. ‘You’re a sight for sore eyes.’

  Carissa’s eyes drifted beyond Nicole’s and locked with Teal’s. ‘Um, thanks. I think.’

  ‘I can see the benefits of taking this job already,’ Nicole said with a sheepish grin. In her left hand she held an unopened packet of chocolate biscuits which she proceeded to tear open with her front teeth before taking one out. As she did so, numerous crumbs fell to the floor. Shoving a biscuit into her mouth, Nicole bent to her knees, brushing against Carissa’s bare calves as she gathered the crumbs together.

  I hope she’s not hitting on me. ‘Me too. It’s a beautiful building,’ Carissa said, awkwardly stepping away from Nicole.

  Nicole tipped her head back and looked straight into Carissa’s eyes. ‘Who said I was talking about the building?’

  Teal tossed her hair over her shoulder. ‘Well you should be, considering that’s what I’m paying you for.’

  Nicole rolled her eyes before pushing herself to her feet. ‘Yes, boss. What was I thinking?’

  ‘Anyway, Carissa, I was just talking to Nicole—’

  Nicole gave Teal a small deprecating smile. ‘Nic, remember?’

  ‘Nic,’ Teal said through gritted teeth. ‘About bringing down the walls.’

  Carissa looked at Nicole hopefully. ‘Is it possible?’

  Nicole flashed Carissa a smile. ‘For you, anything’s possible.’

  Carissa glanced at Teal again and her eyes were narrowed. It was quite evident to Carissa that Teal didn’t think much of Nicole’s flirtatious nature.

  ‘The listing only covers the exterior so we are good to go on the interior,’ Teal said.

  ‘Good. So this is what I was thinking.’ Carissa went on to spell out her vision. The bay window’s water damaged parts would need replacing and the walls between the two front reception rooms knocked down to make it open plan.

  ‘So I think it would be best to start on the downstairs and make our way up,’ Carissa concluded.

  ‘Sounds like a good idea,’ Teal said.

  ‘Yeah it does. I’ll see you ladies tomorrow.’ Nicole was at Carissa’s side again, taking her hand in her own. ‘Unless you’d like to go out for a drink tonight.’

  ‘As much as I’d love to, I have a lot of work to be getting on with,’ Carissa said withdrawing her hand.

  Nicole wiggled her eyebrows. ‘You know what they say about too much work and not enough play.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Teal interrupted. ‘They achieve much more in their lives, especially when they’re up against a deadline.’

  Nicole gave Teal a light condescending smile before turning her attention back to Carissa. ‘If you change your mind, Teal has my number.’

  ‘I won’t but thanks anyway,’ Carissa said.

  Nicole gave Carissa a slight bow and a wink. ‘Until tomorrow then.’

  Teal didn’t speak until the front door slammed. ‘That woman is doing my head in.’

  ‘She’s a bit full on,’ Carissa admitted. Though she found Nicole to be quite harmless, she didn’t think it was what Teal wanted to hear. And Teal was the boss. The last thing Carissa needed was to get on the wrong side of her. Especially as she had been so kind to Carissa since her arrival.

  Teal looked at her questioningly. ‘A bit?’

  ‘Okay a lot.’

  ‘If I’d known she was so annoying I wouldn’t have hired her, regardless of how cheap she is.’

  ‘Who recommended her.’

  ‘A friend.’

  ‘Is she now an ex-friend by any chance?’ Carissa said, trying to lighten the mood.

  The muscles in Teal’s face visibly relaxed. ‘She may well be if this doesn’t work out.’

  Carissa studied Teal for a moment before saying, ‘You’re not really a people person are you?’

  Teal looked thoughtful. ‘Why’d you say that?’

  ‘Just an observation,’ Carissa said. ‘Which is surprising.’

  Teal raised an inquiring eyebrow.

  ‘You spent hours listening to me ramble on last night—’

  ‘That was different,’ Teal said.

  Carissa felt a surge of anticipation. For what she didn’t know, but that didn’t stop her heart from thudding harder. ‘Really? How come?’

  ‘I’m not quite sure, but it was,’ Teal said almost to herself.

  Carissa’s heart sank. She knew by the guarded expression on Teal’s face not to push it any further. ‘So what are our plans for today?’

  Teal clasped her hands together in front of her. Her eyes lightening. ‘I thought we could hit the shops and you can pick out what we need.’

  ‘Sounds like a plan,’ Carissa said, liking the way ‘we’ sounded coming from Teal’s lips. Very inclusive. ‘Is there a John Lewis nearby?’

  ‘Swindon has one,’ Teal said.

  ‘Cool. Let me just write some things down
first.’

  ‘No worries. Give me a shout when you’re ready.’

  Carissa circled the house, making notes of the colour schemes she had envisioned, as well as the number of blinds and furniture needed.

  Once she had detailed everything, she went back up to her room and turned on her Mac to check the John Lewis website. There was no point making Teal drive there if they didn’t have what she wanted. She typed in her password and straight away a message icon flashed up on the screen.

  It was from Lara.

  Carissa clenched her jaw at the sight of her name and she debated whether or not to delete her email without reading it. It had been over a month since she had left for India and Carissa hadn’t heard so much as a peep out of her. For all Lara knew, Carissa could be living on the street.

  On a whim, Carissa opened up her photo library and scrolled through the pictures there. More than half of them included Lara and every single one had a glossy sheen of happiness about it. Carissa stared at Lara’s face; her eyes did a good job of hiding the confusion that seemed to be the crux of her personality.

  The more Carissa looked through her pictures, the more she realised how much effort she had put into their relationship and how little Lara had given her in return. Lara was always the one in crisis and Carissa the rescuer. Despite this, in the end, Carissa hadn’t been enough for her.

  She wished she had the strength to simply delete the email without opening it and break the hold Lara had on her, but her curiosity and need for closure was too great.

  Carissa opened the email and stared at the short message.

  Hey Cass

  India’s amazing!!! I would have written sooner but the Internet isn’t always reliable where I’m staying and my computer died a week ago. I need some of my passwords and I know you kept track of all that for me, so would you mind sending over the list please? I spoke to your mum yesterday. She said you’ve got a new job and you’ve moved out of her place to some sad little town in God knows where. I don’t think that’s advisable Carissa, London is the place to be if you want to build a name for yourself. You’re too talented to waste away in some village no one’s ever heard of.

  Anyway, write back soon. And let me know about those passwords. Miss you.

  Carissa stared at the screen a few minutes longer than she needed to. There was no closure for her in Lara’s words and for a moment she felt stupid for even expecting there to be. It was typical of Lara, to ask for her help and brush over everything that had happened between them.

  With her frustration and restlessness roaring for an outlet, she grabbed her mobile phone and called her mother’s number. Deirdre didn’t pick up the first time so Carissa tried again.

  ‘Hello?’ Deirdre’s voice was bright and happy when she answered and that annoyed Carissa a little more.

  ‘Mum?’

  ‘Carissa!’ Deirdre said. ‘I called you twice yesterday, you didn’t pick up.’

  ‘Didn’t you see the message I sent?’

  ‘I did, but it’s not the same as speaking to you though, is it?’

  ‘Well you’re speaking to me now—’

  ‘How’s your new boss? What’s she like?’

  Gorgeous. ‘She’s really nice,’ Carissa said impatiently, anxious to get to the point. ‘Mum, have you spoken to Lara?’

  There was a moment of hesitation on the other end of the line. ‘Uh, yes she called—’

  ‘And you spoke to her?’ Carissa asked incredulously.

  ‘Of course I did. She was calling all the way from India. What would you expect me to do?’

  ‘Hang up on her! Be on my side!’

  ‘Don’t be childish, Carissa, she hasn’t done anything wrong. Not really.’

  Unbelievable. ‘She hasn’t done—’

  ‘Oh, darling, you’re not still upset with her are you?’ Deirdre’s voice tilted with disappointment.

  ‘Of course I’m still upset with her,’ Carissa said, trying to keep her tone calm and even. ‘She dumped me without any warning. She didn’t bother to write or call me for over a month and when she does finally get in touch, she has an agenda.’

  ‘She’s been in touch with you?’

  Carissa sighed. ‘Yes, she emailed me.’

  ‘What did she say?’

  ‘Nothing important,’ Carissa huffed.

  ‘She probably misses you,’ Deirdre went on, oblivious to how upset Carissa was. ‘She wants to tell you so many things but she just … she’s worried you’ll take it the wrong way. And you must admit, Carissa, you do have that habit.’

  ‘What habit?’ Carissa demanded.

  ‘Of blowing things out of proportion.’

  ‘Me! Are you serious?’

  ‘Yes.’ Deirdre sighed.

  ‘What did she say to you?’ Carissa asked. ‘Why did she call you at all?’

  ‘Because she’s a decent, thoughtful young lady who wanted to see how I was doing,’ Deirdre replied. ‘And, of course, she wanted to know that you were okay as well.’

  ‘If that were really the case, why didn’t she just call me?’

  ‘I told you, she didn’t know how you would react. She loves and misses you. I’m sure she told you as much in the email she sent you.’

  ‘What is it that you find so fascinating about Lara, Mum?’ Carissa asked in confusion. ‘I mean, what has she done to make you think she can do no wrong?’

  ‘She loves my daughter—’

  ‘Please!’ Carissa interjected before Deirdre could finish her sentence. ‘You honestly think she loves me?’

  ‘I do.’

  Carissa laughed without humour. ‘Of course you would think that. Of course you would. I’m such an idiot, I should have realised sooner.’

  ‘I … what do you mean? Realised what?’

  ‘You,’ Carissa said forcefully. ‘You … you left me behind. You keep saying Lara is a free spirit, but what you actually mean is, she’s just like you.’

  ‘Carissa—’

  ‘She left, just like you left Dad.’

  ‘Now that’s not fair.’ Deirdre sounded close to tears. She had never been able to handle confrontation, which was why Carissa had always tiptoed around her feelings, but today was different. Carissa was hurt and angry and she couldn’t seem to summon up the patience that was required to deal with her mother.

  ‘Fair?’ Carissa said, her voice rising. ‘You want to talk to me about fair? You know what’s not fair—losing the one person in the world who actually gave a toss about you and finding yourself at the mercy of a mother who has more time for her so called clients, than she ever did for you.’

  There was dead silence on the other line. Carissa had never spoken to her mother like that before.

  ‘Mum?’ Carissa asked cautiously.

  Deirdre’s answer was a quivering sob.

  ‘Jesus Christ,’ Carissa muttered between clenched teeth. ‘I … I’ve got to go.’

  She hung up and stared aimlessly around the room. ‘I can’t believe this.’

  Just for once, she would have loved to have received some support from her mother, instead of her making Carissa feel like her feelings meant nothing to her. Sometimes when she really thought about her relationship with her mother she wondered whether or not she even liked her, let alone loved her. Her mum always seemed to be waving the flag of encouragement for the opposing team.

  It was a good thing Carissa was going shopping. She needed something to take her mind off Lara and her mother. She made her way downstairs and found Teal in the hallway fixing her hair in the mirror. Teal glanced up at her with a smile, which then changed into a frown when she no doubt noticed the scowl on Carissa’s face.

  ‘Is everything all right?’

  ‘Yeah, great,’ Carissa said, checking her bag as a distraction. ‘I’m ready if you are.’

  Teal’s eyebrows rose and Carissa knew she wasn’t fooling her with her nonchalant attitude. ‘You don’t look all right.’

  ‘You’re right. I need a dri
nk.’

  Teal’s eyes were shadowed and unreadable, and for a second Carissa thought she would call her out for being unprofessional. Instead she gestured to the front door. ‘Pub?’

  For a few seconds Carissa couldn’t find her voice. ‘With you?’

  ‘Unless you want me to call Nicole for you,’ Teal said with a smile.

  Carissa didn’t need asking twice. ‘Let’s go.’

  Chapter Eight

  Teal could sense Carissa’s anger emanating from every pore. Her body language was rigid and her mouth was set firmly in a determined line. Whatever had upset her must have been bad. As soon as she had seen her, Teal knew it would have been unfair to expect Carissa to go shopping when she was clearly in no fit state to do so.

  ‘What you drinking?’ Teal asked as they walked into the pub side by side.

  The snug room was nearly full with lunchtime diners and a few people even had their dogs on the floor beside them.

  ‘A pint please,’ Carissa said.

  ‘Grab a table and I’ll bring it over.’

  Carissa hesitated for a moment before she reached over and rested her hand on Teal’s forearm. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘It’s just a drink,’ Teal said feeling slightly uncomfortable with the unexpected contact.

  ‘This is more than that. To me anyway.’

  Teal gave her a smile and watched as Carissa turned and walked away.

  ‘Two pints please,’ Teal said to the balding barman. She sat down on a velvet upholstered stool while waiting for him to pour the pints. Teal glanced over at Carissa. Her head was slumped in her hands, the boundless enthusiasm she exuded earlier now gone. What’s going through her mind?

  ‘Here you go.’ The barman placed the drinks in front of Teal. She paid for them then made her way over to Carissa. The moment Teal set the pint down in front of her, Carissa picked it up and took a mouthful.

  ‘I’m really sorry, Teal,’ she said combing her fingers through her hair.

  ‘For what?’

  ‘This.’ She gestured to her drink. ‘Me. I’m sure you didn’t expect someone off the rails to turn up for your job.’

  ‘You’re hardly off the rails. Besides you’ve only been here a day and you’ve come up with some great ideas already. We all have our rough days, don’t sweat it.’