by A. C. Bextor
“Rae!” I cry.
I feel the hand on my back as the stranger moves in, sensing my stress and sitting next to me for comfort.
“Where are you now?” she whispers in a broken voice that is barely audible.
“Still at Hayden’s dad’s beach house.”
“I’m going to send Toby to come get you.”
“No! Where’s Travis? I’m waiting for him. I’ll go back. . . .”
“He’s not coming back to get you, Sarah.”
Wake up happy, Sarah. I did.
“No! He didn’t change his mind, Rae. He wouldn’t have left without me.” She may have no confirmation of what I’m talking about, but I do. Travis was always certain of us, more so than me. He wouldn’t leave me alone without a phone unless. . . .
Unless he had no choice.
“Accident,” I hear Rae utter through a small cry.
“No! No! No!” The phone drops from my hand when my knees hit the floor.
“Honey, is there something I can do?”
“He’s okay. He’s okay. He’s okay!” I chant to myself, scared to unleash my panic in front of this stranger.
The woman picks up the phone and listens to whatever Raegan is saying, as I sit with my elbows resting on my knees and my head in my hands.
This is not fucking happening.
Once I hear the phone disconnect, she reaches over and looks at me with eyes full of heartfelt sympathy. I wait, hoping she’ll remind me more of Bean than I had thought, but Bean’s wisdom doesn’t come from her.
She merely says, “I gave them my address. A gentleman will be here within the hour.”
Over an hour later, after Toby took a few minutes to calm me from my damning thoughts, he loaded me up in his car and explained why Travis couldn’t make it back to where I was.
He’d rolled his truck four miles from the beach house. He called Hayden after the paramedics freed him. From what Toby explained, he wasn’t critically hurt but his wounds were enough he needed a ride to the hospital. He didn’t call because he couldn’t get a hold of me; I had no phone.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Travis
I WASN’T PAYING enough attention to the weather as I drove back from the bakery. The rain was coming down harder with each mile that passed on the last stretch of road near the house.
To avoid a large piece of debris that had fallen in the storm, I swerved hard and over corrected. The Jeep flipped twice and landed on its side. The crack I felt to my ribs due to impact hurt worse than my knee, which I now know is severely sprained. I didn’t feel the dislocation of my shoulder until I went to reach for the cell phone that sat against the passenger side of the car. Luckily, adrenaline was pumping through my system, keeping me from panicking. I was going to be fine and I knew it, I just had to get out before any oncoming traffic rounded the corner and inadvertently slammed into my Jeep.
I was only alone for twenty minutes before the first passerby crossed my path. The woman in the sedan pulled off to the side and didn’t get out of her car until she had already called an ambulance. Once she did, it was evident she was at least seven months pregnant, if Lacey and Marlee’s pregnancies were anything to go by.
After the paramedics pulled me out, I called Hayden. He knew where Sarah and I were and the reason we were so far from home. He swore silence, citing he’d fill Toby in carefully until I could face the wrath of Ace on my own.
While I sat inside the Jeep waiting for help, I relived my life with vague detail. Growing up with my dad, finding my friends and Bean, but mostly I thought about Sarah. In my lap, by my side, in my face . . . countless memories flashed before me. Since knowing her, she seems to have always been near me.
It was then I heard Hayden’s words. He told me to close my eyes and imagine a life without her. In that moment I tried, I really did. I only had to see her face twisting with her anger, hear her voice booming words to make me smile. But it was her sweet, gentle side that no one sees that caused my eyes to open in fear.
I needed to get back to her.
After I was admitted for overnight observation, Hayden left. The pain meds the doctor gave me for my shoulder, knee, and ribs caused me to tire quickly. I wasn’t able to wait for Sarah to arrive.
As I’m waking up now, though, there’s no mistaking Sarah’s presence in my small, white, sterile hospital room.
Raegan stands at her side near my bed, holding Sarah’s hand tightly. Sarah’s tears are falling uninterrupted down her face as she sucks in a breath to put off falling apart. Raegan’s eyes hold a strain of relief in seeing I’m okay. Sarah isn’t buying it.
“I know that sad face,” I tell Sarah, holding my arm not set in a sling out for her to take my hand. “I’m okay.”
“You’re so stupid,” she whispers and I look at Rae’s hand in hers as Rae gives it a gentle squeeze. “You’re so, so dumb,” Sarah continues her insults. This is Sarah’s way of dealing with someone else being hurt. Putting blame on them helps her through it.
“Sarah,” I start. “Come here.”
“No,” she answers. “You’re a fucking idiot.”
“So you’ve said,” I answer, letting my outstretched hand fall and trying, with great effort, not to look hurt, or more importantly, annoyed.
“So dumb,” she returns again.
“Sarah.”
“Don’t fucking ‘Sarah’ your way out of this! Look at you!”
Smirking slightly at her words, I suggest, knowing it won’t go over well, “We need to get you another swear jar.”
Her eyes widen, looking enraged. “Don’t you fucking joke about this! You’re an idiot!”
“Christ, you said that already. Get your ass over here!” I’ve lost my composure and Rae’s eyes widen in surprise. They shouldn’t, considering this is Sarah and me. It’s how we’ve always been.
“I was so scared!” Sarah’s voice rises and she thrashes, letting go of Raegan’s hand. “Fuck, Travis, I thought you left me because you changed your mind!”
Once she says this out loud, my eyes dart to Raegan’s. The fear and anxiety I didn’t feel in my Jeep as I sat alone are present now, front and center.
Sarah catches my look to Rae just as Rae smirks before speaking. “I already know everything.”
Rae only knew Sarah and I had slept together and how I felt about it afterward. What we’ve talked about and done since, though, I hadn’t explained.
“Everything,” I repeat her statement partially. I’m waiting to see her disappointment, but it’s not there. She doesn’t look angry. I haven’t told her the rest.
Sarah jumps in with her irritation again, pushing away the ease I felt in Rae’s response to Sarah and I being together. “Oh, she does know,” she smarts off sarcastically. “While you were in here being all Sleeping Beauty, comfy and cozy, I had to listen to Rae lecture me on how important it is to stay calm for you. Fuck calm, Travis Kyle. I’m not staying calm.”
I smile. I can’t help it. “C’mere, Sarah.”
“No.” Her arms cross over her chest petulantly.
“You want to,” I try again, softer, with less demand in my tone.
“Sarah,” Rae says her name and Sarah’s head turns to look at Rae. Rae nods toward my bed and I open my good arm again and carefully move over slightly so Sarah can see and accept the invitation.
“Oh, fine.” Finally, Sarah burrows in to my side as carefully as Sarah can and rests her head on my chest. “I didn’t get breakfast. You said you’d get it.”
I let out a small laugh, which hurts like hell, and kiss the top of her head. “You’ve done better than I expected you to.”
“She wasn’t earlier. Jesus, she was. . . .”
Sarah lifts her head up and turns to face a now nervous Rae. I can’t see the look, but it quiets Rae and she starts walking backward toward the door.
“Ace is on his way. I had to tell him what happened. You’ve got to tell him the rest,” she says before opening it. “He’s not happy, Tr
avis.”
“I know.”
“I’m lying,” she corrects. “He’s not unhappy, he’s livid.”
“I know. I’m sorry you dealt with that on your own.”
“Don’t be sorry for me, I can handle him. I worry about you two.”
She has a right to worry. We’re all well aware of Ace’s temperament.
“We’ll be okay,” I answer her concern by pulling Sarah further in to me.
“He’s dropping Deck at my dad’s, so I figure you guys have about an hour before he gets here.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re okay?” Rae asks. “You’re going to be okay telling him everything, I mean?”
“Yes.”
I’m no longer certain of anything, though. Everyone finding out has brought the reality of all of this into full view, and none of what’s happened was part of my plan.
“I’m glad you’re okay. It could’ve been so much worse,” Rae puts in, holding the door to my room in her hand.
“Me too,” Sarah says to my chest. I feel the warmth of the tears she’s hiding from Raegan and my hand rubs up her back for whatever comfort that can give her.
Once Rae’s out of sight, Sarah sits up, adjusts her body further onto mine and leans her face in close. I look down at her from my seated position and smile.
“Thank fucking hell you’re okay. I want to kill you right now. It wouldn’t be nice to kill an injured person.”
“Glad to see you’re still you. If I’d woken up to anything but your foul mouth and hateful disposition, I would’ve thought I was dead.”
“I was so scared,” she admits softly.
Moving my hand to the back of her head, I position her face against my neck and close my eyes. Telling Ace will be hard enough on me; I hate to expose her to the fury I know he’ll unchain on us both.
“I love you, Sarah.”
“I love you, too,” she answers, and then takes a breath. Her hands are lying still on my chest but I feel them tremble. “When can you go home?”
“Doc says I’m out of here first thing tomorrow morning if everything looks okay.”
“Then I’ll wait until tomorrow to kill you. There’re too many doctors and nurses who could save you here.”
Pulling her hair off her shoulders to her back, I state my request carefully. “I’d like you to go home and get shit ready for a long week. I’ll need your help. Doc says I’ll be moving around slowly for a few days.”
I’m lying. The truth is, I don’t want her here when Ace walks in.
“I’m not leaving.”
“I need you to do what I’m asking, Sarah.”
“Nope,” she says, shaking her head with her answer. “And you didn’t ask me anything. You bossed me.”
I’m too relieved to have her here, so I comply. “Okay.”
“I’m tired.”
“You have time to sleep. I’m not going anywhere.”
Yet.
The last thing I remember before falling asleep was Sarah making gentle movements back and forth, forcing herself to sleep.
* * *
I’m unsure how much time passes, but when I wake up I watch as Hayden cautiously enters the room. He’s followed by Toby, Lacey, and lastly Ace.
Rae didn’t come back.
So it seems this is it, the moment of truth. I’m about to face off with my best friend and I’m broken and lying in a hospital bed while doing it.
Hayden offers a small, sympathetic smile of understanding. Toby walks past my bed and looks at Sarah sleeping in my arms and nods. Ace avoids me entirely and stares at his sister but not with the gentleness Toby just had. Ace is seething.
My sister, however, is fucking hysterical. “What is wrong with you!” she exclaims a question I know she won’t let me answer. Hayden grabs her and pulls her back against his front as she stares at me with a violent expression. “I can’t believe this shit. You didn’t tell me you two were leaving town.”
I don’t give Hayden’s knowledge of our leaving away. He understands guy code. He didn’t sell Sarah and me out, so I’ll return the favor.
“Lace, it was an accident. I couldn’t control it.”
“Not just the accident! What if that woman hadn’t pulled over? You didn’t even tell us you were leaving,” she continues. “Bad enough we couldn’t fucking find Sarah until she called, but it was cold and rainy and you were out there alone. Sarah didn’t even have a phone for fuck’s sake! Oh my God, Travis!”
Sarah lifts her head. Her eyes meet mine first and I notice she swallows hard before looking to the foot of the bed and finding her brother’s hard look of absolute disdain. His hands clutch the hospital bed’s frame. His eyes are blazing with anger. The vein in his temple jumps with each tick of his jaw. Sarah opens her mouth to say something. I squeeze her gently in hopes it keeps her quiet.
Thankfully, it does. Now isn’t the time for Sarah to go nuts.
“Lacey,” Ace’s voice hits the walls next.
He’s assessing what’s in front of him. I watch as his eyes narrow and the fight in them increases into a tornado of fury.
“What?” Lacey snaps back at Ace.
“Take my sister home.”
Finally then, Sarah’s on the move.
“Fuck that!” she screeches, sitting up but not leaving my side. Ace sends her a hard, determined glare that she either misses or ignores because she keeps going. “I’m not leaving. He doesn’t get out until tomorrow and I’m staying. You can go and come back whenever you’d like.”
“Sarah.” Again, Ace’s tone is fierce, but eerily calm.
It’s an unnerving reaction that I’ve seen from him before. It’s been saved for moments in our lives when his temper was waging a war on whether to unleash or not. Being the youngest of all of us, I’d always feared this attitude from him.
He’s about to tear the room apart.
Sarah leans against me again, holding my waist tightly. I wince as the pain from my ribs radiates throughout my body.
Lacey doesn’t say anything more, but I see her eyes go soft as she watches Sarah and me together. She lets out a soft sigh and holds on to Hayden’s hands, which are still wrapped around her waist.
Toby has remained completely quiet.
Ace’s look continues to be a mix of betrayal, anger, hate, and oddly, disbelief. His order comes out just as Lacey steps away from Hayden and closes in on Sarah at my side. “Hayden, get my sister the fuck out of here.”
Sarah thrashes at my side as Hayden walks closer and moves Lacey out of his way. I try to push her off me, to no success. I’m too weak right now and she’s always been too strong for her own good.
Using his strength and handling Sarah, as he’s always been able to do, Hayden bends down, grabs her under her knees and waist and moves her away from me. Hearing her screams of anger causes those in the room to wince, except Ace. His eyes don’t move. They stay pinned on me.
“Let them talk,” Hayden whispers to Sarah. “Just for a little while. Lacey will go out with you.”
Hearing what Hayden just told Sarah, Lacey bends down and kisses my cheek. She mumbles something about being angry, but I don’t catch it. Then she turns to Sarah. “Come on, Sarah. Let’s get something for you to eat.”
“Fuck this. Ace, this is bullshit.”
Sarah never knows when to back off.
“Out!” Ace bellows, pointing to the door without looking at her. Sarah goes still, but stays tense in Hayden’s arms.
I’ve been left in a challenging, continuous stare down with Ace.
Sarah’s exhaustive breaths are audible once she realizes she’s being left with no choice. She looks down at me from where Hayden stands holding her and promises, “Travis, I swear I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
I don’t offer her any words; I also don’t look at her any longer. I can’t.
After Sarah leaves, I notice Toby’s remained quiet. He’s sitting in a chair in the corner of the room. He’s not looking at
me, but down at the floor under him.
Ace still stands at the foot of my bed, and his eyes still haven’t left my face.
Hayden, coming back into the room alone, closes the door behind him and quietly walks to my side. “Sarah’s promised a few minutes, but Lacey can’t keep her out long. She’s a mess.”
“A mess,” Ace repeats. “She’s got no idea the mess she’s helped create with this bullshit.”
A few tense moments go by in silence so Hayden takes the metal seat at the side of my bed. He leans back into it and crosses his feet at the ankles, putting his hands behind his head. The Devil’s Despair t-shirt he’s wearing mocks our situation. I feel as if I’ve betrayed the brotherhood it once stood for. Any regret I should feel isn’t there.
I’ve got nothing to be ashamed or regretful of.
Three of us share questioning glances. Ace doesn’t. His posture remains rigid. His hands are balled into fists on either side of his body and the vein in his temple continues to protrude.
He picks up the chair behind him, and I assume he is about to sit, but he doesn’t. Instead, he lifts it over his head and sends it flying into the wall behind him. Hayden and Toby both stand. I suck in needed air, bracing for what’s about to happen.
“Ace,” Toby says quietly from behind him.
“She’s a mess,” Ace repeats Hayden’s words again. “How about you fucking explain why my little sister’s such a God damn mess!”
Breathing slowly, I feel my own anger start to build. I get he’s upset, I understand why he’s upset, but this isn’t entirely his business. Sarah’s his sister, but she’s also an adult who’s capable of making her own decisions. If being with me is what she wants then fuck him and anyone else who gets in the way of her happiness.
I start with truth, committed to staying the course. “I was going to tell you—” But I don’t get far.
“Tell me?” he hisses. “Tell me what, exactly?” he seethes. “Were you ever going to tell me you’re fucking my sister?”
“That’s not what this is,” I answer, trying to stay calm. “You’re judging a relationship you know nothing about.”