Be with Me

by Jules Bennett

  She swung her legs to the side and came to her feet. As she started to pass him, Tanner reached out and held on to her hand until she turned her attention down to him.

  “Why won’t you let me in?”

  Her thumb feathered over his knuckles a second before she removed her hand from his. “Because I can’t afford to.”

  He’d never heard her so conflicted, but he didn’t get a chance to question her parting shot. One moment she was looking at him with pain in her eyes and the next she was gone. He heard her mounting the steps and Tanner knew he’d pushed too hard, too fast. He’d made the mistake of assuming they could move forward based on their chemistry.

  What now, though? As much as he wanted her physically, he wanted her to see him as non-threatening. She obviously hadn’t been afraid of him before or she never would’ve slept with him.

  Clearly this pregnancy had her more scared than he’d thought. Well, that made two of them. Even if he weren’t so worried about the baby, about her, he’d still want her. There was no denying that he’d been interested in her from the moment he’d pulled her over and given her a ticket her first day in Haven.

  She had rolled that window down on her Beemer and glared at him over the tops of her gold sunglasses. She’d been irritated and so damn sexy.

  The front door opened and closed and Tanner jumped to his feet.

  “My eyes are closed,” Jade announced. “Don’t mind me.”

  Tanner couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s all clear,” he called back.

  Jade poked her head into the living room, her eyes darting all around until she finally zeroed in on Tanner. “Where’s Melanie?”

  Looping his thumbs through his belt loops, Tanner stepped forward. “She just went up to bed.”

  Jade stared at him a minute longer before crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m still processing all of this.”

  “I’d say that’s the theme for all of us.”

  Pursing her lips, she continued to eye him. “Look, I know you’re a great guy, but—”

  “Really, Jade?” Tanner shook his head and offered his childhood friend a smile. “We’ve known each other for years. Are you really going to pull out the clichéd warning about hurting your friend?”

  Jade blew out a sigh and dropped her hands. “Hell, Tanner, I was. I don’t even know what to say to you or Melanie. You both have been through so much.”

  Tanner figured Jade knew everything about Melanie’s marriage, and as much as he wanted to know, he respected Melanie enough to wait. She needed to be the one to tell him.

  “I have a feeling she’s been through far worse than I have,” he replied.

  “That would be a matter of opinion. You lost a great deal once.” Jade smoothed her hair back from her face and offered him a smile. “Just give her time. She may seem tough and independent, but she’s still healing.”

  “I can see that. I just wish she didn’t lump me in with that asshole she was married to.”

  Jade reached out and patted his cheek. “Honestly, I don’t think she knows any different. She’s a strong woman, but even strong women have a weak spot. Her dad wasn’t the best, so she’s never had a good man in her life.”

  Tanner gritted his teeth. He wanted to hunt down the jerk dad and bastard of an ex and . . . hell, he didn’t know. Every scenario that ran through his mind involved something that would strip him of his badge. Someone like Melanie’s former husband would use his power to get what he wanted. Tanner couldn’t even imagine what she’d endured.

  How could anyone treat Melanie, or any woman for that matter, without their due respect?

  “I know she’s strong,” he stated. “She wouldn’t be here if she wasn’t. I’m a patient man.”

  Jade took a step back and smiled. “I know you are, and you’re exactly what she needs. Maybe you two can heal each other.”

  “That’s pretty deep for you, Jade.”

  With a slight nod, a flash of a sad smile came and went. “Yeah, well, sometimes I can be sensitive, especially where my friends are concerned. Melanie is special. If you two knew the full backstory about each other, I think you’d understand each other so much more.”

  Something curled low in his gut. Trepidation? Maybe. He wasn’t sure where he wanted the personal relationship to go with Mel. He knew he didn’t want her to worry, he knew he was attracted, and he knew he’d never leave her alone to deal with a pregnancy and raising a child. His child.

  “I need to get home.”

  Jade scrunched her nose, drawing her brows in. “You look like hell. You feeling okay?”

  Leave it to Jade to be brutally honest after seconds ago being so sweet and caring. “Just working my ass off. Nothing a good night’s sleep won’t cure.”

  That is if he could sleep. Lately he’d been experiencing more and more anxiety. He didn’t have time for that, and he sure as hell couldn’t have anybody picking his brain and telling him to calm down or stop worrying.

  He worried about each case he took on undercover. He worried about the kids and the impact on their young lives, he worried about the women who thought they had no choice sometimes but to return to the abuse they’d endured for far too long.

  Maybe all of that made him a soft cop, but he couldn’t change who he was. He’d been one of those young kids, he’d seen the damage hurtful words could cause. While he never witnessed his father raise a hand to his mother, he saw how day after day his mom had lost pieces of herself until she was a product of what his father wanted her to be.

  “Hey. You alright?”

  Tanner blinked Jade back into focus. “Yeah. I’m fine. I’ll see myself out.”

  He shot her a slight grin when she continued to stare with those worried brows and frown.

  “I’ll see ya.”

  With a friendly kiss on her cheek, Tanner let himself out of the house. The cool fall night sent a chill through him as he made his way to his truck. Once he settled in behind the wheel, he glanced up to the second story of the old home and wondered which room Melanie used while she was here.

  Then another thought hit him. Was she planning on staying in Haven? She’d never said one way or another. He knew she was here working on the legal side of the airport renovation, and with her blog site that she’d claimed was successful, she could work from anywhere, but had she decided to settle down in Haven?

  Tanner thought of his simple one-story bungalow and couldn’t help but wonder if Melanie would want a place like that for their child.

  Melanie had been married to a wealthy politician; no doubt she’d had a fancier home and lavish lifestyle. Tanner only had a cop’s salary. Not that he was poor. He didn’t really spend his money, so he had a hefty nest egg.

  Still, what could he offer her long-term?

  Raking a hand over his face, he started his engine. Not only were his emotions all over the place thinking where they’d be years from now, Tanner also had to consider the fact that she might not even want to be part of this town once her involvement in the airport was done.

  As he drove home, he blinked against the burn in his eyes and vowed to make this all okay. He needed Melanie and the baby to feel secure and safe. Anything else would be failing on his part.

  Chapter Seven

  I love when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable badass I’m going to be today.

  —Mel’s Motivational Blog

  “Officer Lansing will be by around seven.” Tanner held his cell and let his gaze travel around the doctor’s office parking lot. “He is new to the department and not from the area. He’s perfect to put in place.”

  “And then what?” Cash asked.

  Tanner kept his eye on his rearview mirrors, waiting for Melanie’s car. He was early, but he didn’t want to miss this first appointment. He’d rather wait for her. At least if she saw him when she arrived, she might just take a small step toward trusting him. Anything he could do to ease her worries, he would.

  “We’re just setting so
meone in place to listen for chatter. Lansing is a young guy who lifts heavy. He’ll fit right in. You’ll want to be there to sign him up and make sure the appearances are all legit and real. The department is paying the gym fees, by the way.”

  “I don’t care about the money,” Cash growled. “I want those guys out of my gym. The thought of drugs going through my business—”

  “We’ll get them,” Tanner assured his cousin. No doubt Cash’s mind went immediately to his father, who had been in and out of rehab over the years. “But you’ll have to learn patience.”

  Cash snorted. “You know that’s not my strong suit. My patience ran out the second time I caught my wife cheating on me.”

  Tanner couldn’t believe Cash had stuck around long enough for there to be a second time, but that had been his business. Between Cash, Jax, and Tanner, the three of them had endured their own personal hell when it came to women. They just rarely spoke of that time in their lives. Tanner knew Cash was a hell of a loyal man and no doubt he’d wanted his marriage to work. Clearly his ex had had other plans.

  A flash of an older model black car caught his eye as Melanie pulled in a few spots away. “Listen, man, I have to go. I’ll touch base later.”

  “You sure as hell will,” Cash retorted. “I still haven’t heard how the hell you and Melanie . . . well, how you two are suddenly going to be parents. What were you thinking?”

  “At the time, I was thinking of one thing. Isn’t that how this happens to everyone?”

  “Smart-ass. You know what I meant. I’ll be at Taps later if you want to meet up,” Cash added. “First round is on me.”

  Tanner shut off his truck and stepped out, pocketing his keys. “Just make sure you’re at the gym at seven to get things going for Lansing. I’ll text you about a beer later.”

  As he disconnected the call and pocketed his phone, Tanner rounded his truck and met up with Melanie on the sidewalk.

  She jerked around, clearly startled. “Oh, you’re here.”

  “Did you think I wouldn’t be?”

  “Honestly, I wasn’t sure.” A smile spread across her face and hit him square in the chest. “I’m glad you made it. I mean, this is awkward, but I want this baby to know both parents, and if you plan on supporting me along the way . . .”

  “I do.” Tanner clenched his fists at his sides to prevent himself from doing something absurd like reaching for her. She was still learning to trust him and he had to remember that. “I told you I’m not going anywhere and I meant it.”

  “Well.” She glanced toward the entrance to the doctor’s office. “Let’s go see what they have to say.”

  Tanner held the door open for her and waited while she filled out all the paperwork. The waiting room was full of pregnant women, some accompanied by toddlers and men who he assumed were potential new fathers. The pictures on the walls were of silhouettes of women in various states of pregnancy. Magazines had bare bellies on the front or women holding newborns. Every single place he looked he was assaulted with the images of what his life was about to spiral into.

  He couldn’t stop the assault on his mind of how excited he’d been once before. How the baby’s name had been chosen, the crib had been purchased.

  Tanner closed his eyes for a moment and attempted to get his breathing under control. He just needed to relax. There was nothing to worry about. They didn’t have anything to go on in regards to problems. Melanie felt fine and no doubt the doctor would tell them shortly how healthy the baby was.

  Melanie had turned in her paperwork and just sat back down when his cell vibrated in his pocket. Even though he was off duty, he couldn’t ignore calls or texts.

  Tanner pulled out his phone, angling it away to check the caller. Disregarding the call, he slid the phone back in his pocket.

  “You can get that,” she told him.

  “It can wait.”

  Melanie smoothed a hand down her little red sundress and crossed her legs. Even here in a waiting room where he knew her nerves were on high alert, she was all class and poised.

  The damn thing vibrated again in his pocket. Tanner let out a sigh and pulled the phone back out. Different number, but still work related.

  He shot off two quick texts stating that he would get with them in an hour or so, but if there was an emergency to let him know. He couldn’t take off completely, but there were definitely things that could wait. From here on out, Melanie and the baby had to come first.

  “I don’t expect you to drop your life for me.”

  Tanner clutched his phone and turned at Melanie. “You should expect exactly that. This baby is more important than any job . . . and so are you.”

  Her eyes widened a fraction and he knew she hadn’t expected him to put this appointment, this child, or her, first in his life. One day she’d come to see that he wasn’t an enemy, that he wasn’t out to control her or take charge. Tanner actually admired the hell out of her for her strength and independence. She’d truly made a life for herself after coming out of the shadows of her ex.

  He had no idea what she thought about him being the father, but he sure as hell wouldn’t use this child as a way to keep her in his clutches. Whatever battle she waged with herself, he wished like hell she wouldn’t drag him along for the ride. Time would be his greatest asset, because he could tell her over and over that he’d be there and wouldn’t let her down, but she would have to see for herself.

  The waiting room of the doctor’s office wasn’t the time or the place to get into the whole host of topics they needed to cover.

  Melanie turned to face him. “Tanner—”

  “Melanie Ramsey,” the nurse called from the doorway.

  Those bright, wide eyes held his for a second. Whatever she’d been about to say would have to wait.

  * * *

  Melanie stared at the curser on the screen.

  Blink. Blink. Blink.

  The damn thing mocked her. She’d had a brilliant blog post, but each time she’d started compiling the words, they fell flat. Maybe she needed more creamer in her coffee to perk her up.

  This had never happened since she’d started her blog as a way to hold herself accountable in moving on. She’d not ventured into this as a way to bash her old life or drag her ex through the mud. He was too powerful and knew too many people who could make her life hell.

  No, Melanie had turned over a brand-new page once she decided to leave Neville. She’d finally put herself first. Her eating habits changed, her attitude changed, her outlook on life changed. All because of one online article she’d read about loving yourself before you could ever begin to love anyone else. The moment she’d read that piece, she knew she wanted a change. But not only did she want a change, she also wanted to inspire others. She wanted other women to know they weren’t alone in their struggles, no matter what they may be.

  Something in her posts and social media accounts resonated, and within the past two years she had absolutely exploded online. She had sponsored ads, and various businesses and entrepreneurs contacted her wanting a featured spot on her blog.

  The little girl who’d grown up with nothing, then married into more money than she knew what to do with, had finally settled into a life she loved.

  Right now, though, all she could think of was the doctor visit and how awkward she’d felt upon seeing Tanner in the parking lot. Then something had shifted and she found that she actually wanted him there. The fact that he’d taken off work for her shouldn’t surprise her. She knew he was a loyal friend, but this was totally different. This baby had changed their lives forever.

  Melanie reached for her peanut butter and banana protein shake and took a drink. She still couldn’t get over how definite Tanner had sounded when he’d told her she should expect him to put his life aside. Like it was absolutely absurd for her to think otherwise.

  She wasn’t foolish enough to believe he was there strictly for her. He wanted to know what was going on with his child. Tanner might find her attractive,
he might still want her, but that didn’t mean a relationship. That was the dead last thing she wanted anyway.

  However, she wasn’t about to deny that when he’d been in that exam room and asked questions about the due date, the delivery, if there were classes they should take, sites they should explore, Melanie had melted. She never would’ve dreamed someone like Tanner, all big and buff and authoritative, would be so inquisitive.

  He’d also asked more in-depth questions, things she never would’ve thought of, that made her wonder just how much research he’d done beforehand.

  Maybe there were layers to him that she hadn’t fully uncovered because she’d found his actions, especially over the past couple days, more than attractive.

  On a groan, Melanie put her shaker bottle back on her desk and tried to shift her focus back to the blog. She had a few blogs in reserve for emergencies, but daydreaming about the hunky officer who had given her the best night of her life, probably didn’t constitute as an emergency.

  Melanie shoved her hand through her hair and rested her elbow on the desk as she continued to stare at the blank screen just waiting for something to magically appear. She’d prescheduled the guest blogs for Wednesday and Saturday, so she wasn’t shifting them. Today was all her—which had never been an issue before.

  When her cell chimed and vibrated across the desk, Melanie jumped. She really needed to turn on some music to calm her nerves.

  She glanced at the flash of text, but didn’t get a good look before the screen went black. Eager for a distraction, she reached for her phone and brought it to life. Immediately she regretted that decision.

  Call Me

  Her heart clenched as she dropped the phone back onto the desk. Most people would see that message and never think of it as a threat. Those people hadn’t been involved in her two-year marriage. Two years of pure hell and never knowing what the next day would bring.

  Neville was always so careful with his texts. He’d never do anything she could use against him. She had enough blackmail material on him if she chose to go public. But he’d granted her the divorce in exchange for her promised silence on what had really happened behind their closed doors.