Falling for Her Fake Fianc?

by Sue MacKay

  Michael nodded at her. ‘You and me. Let’s go see what we’ve got.’ So he hadn’t been listening to handover either. Hopefully that wasn’t an ongoing problem from yesterday and the patient he’d lost.

  ‘Sure.’

  They got a hit and run patient. Broken legs, fractured ribs, and a smashed spleen, which kept them busy for a long time, only to be followed by a stroke victim arriving towards the end of his golden hour. The man survived but was a long way from walking and talking as he used to. As an orderly wheeled him away Kelli stretched up onto her toes and rubbed the small of her back. Exhaustion oozed out of every pore. A big weekend, no sleep last night and being constantly on guard around Mac had taken its toll. And there were more than five hours to go.

  Looking around, she spied Mac busy in resus one with a patient whose heart had stopped, and must be where the emergency buzzer had come from. ‘I’m going for my break,’ she told Michael and Stephanie. Without Mac, and any discussion about telling her family what they’d done.

  Sinking onto a hard chair in the cafeteria, Kelli stared into the depths of murky coffee and fiddled with the dried arrangement that was supposed to be a sandwich. No appetite for anything—she couldn’t even find the energy to lift either hand to her mouth for liquid or food. The room was rolling around her, as if she were sitting in the centre of a merry-go-round watching the horses rising and falling on their poles. Her eyelids were heavier than pot lids and eventually she gave up fighting to keep them open. Her chin tapped her sternum, and still those blasted horses kept bobbing up and down.

  * * *

  Mac strode into the cafeteria, scanning the mostly empty tables until his gaze alighted on the object of his search. No wonder Kelli hadn’t returned from her break. She was sound asleep.

  After ordering a long black and a cappuccino from the annoyingly perky girl behind the counter, he crossed and sat opposite Kelli. In sleep she looked vulnerable. And beautiful, but then she looked that all the time. Back to the vulnerable. There were definitely some issues from her past that had kept her hands up in the off-limits zone—until last weekend.

  But then he’d appreciated that, wanting nothing more involved than a fling with her, and he hadn’t even realised that until he’d spent three days—and two incredible nights—with her.

  Or had the slippery slide into getting close to Kelli begun in Sydney? Yes, buster, it probably had.

  Whichever, letting go was proving impossible. So he had to find out what those issues were. The bullies? The guy she’d been engaged to before had done a number on her. Had someone else been as cruel? There weren’t any problems regarding her family. They all got on brilliantly.

  But by knowing what could hurt her he could shore up his resolve to walk away while he still could. Cruel to be kind. His guilt at not coping when he lost someone was stronger now that Kelli had become special. Special? Come on. Admit that this stabbing in his chest had nothing to do with special and all to do with... With... He could not say the word. There was a roadblock in the way. A roadblock in the form of heartache and lost love and feeling more secure when he only had himself to look out for.

  Their coffees were on the way. Mac put a finger to his lips as the girl got closer and smiled his thanks as she placed the mugs ever so carefully on the table.

  Kelli hadn’t moved once since he’d joined her, and the aroma of fresh coffee didn’t awaken her. A thick strand of that glorious hair had fallen across her face and he ached to lift it away, but daredn’t. If she awoke while he was doing that she’d have fifty fits and go ballistic.

  Which was what he should do. Return to the department and pretend he hadn’t been here. But Kelli would look for an explanation for the coffee and the girl behind the counter would be happy to oblige for sure. Anyway Kelli had to return to work soon or the others would start asking where she was. He could cover for her. Why wouldn’t he? If he cared about her why not do something so small but hopefully kind?

  Mac stood up too quickly, causing the chair to scrape on the floor.

  Kelli moved. Her eyes blinked before her chin sagged back on her chest.

  He’d got away with it. Leaving the chair where it was, he turned away.

  ‘Mac?’ When his name was sleep-filled on Kelli’s tongue it sounded warm and tender and loving.

  He had to look over his shoulder. Had to. His heart did loop the loop at the sight of Kelli leaning back, still blinking away the sleep and staring at him as though she wasn’t sure where she was. He told her, ‘There’s a cappuccino. Get it into you before coming back.’

  Her gaze dropped to the table, returned to him. ‘You not drinking your coffee now that I’m awake?’

  Not so asleep any more. Acerbic and annoyed instead. ‘I wasn’t running away.’ Those lush lips didn’t lift anywhere near a glimmer of a smile. ‘I just didn’t want to wake you.’

  ‘Then have your coffee.’ When he didn’t move she snapped, ‘Get over yourself, Mac. We can be civil enough to share our break.’

  ‘You’re right.’ Reaching for the chair, he spun it around to straddle the seat. Like a wall between them. There was no getting any of this right. ‘You didn’t sleep much last night with Tamara phoning and everything?’

  ‘No.’ Kelli tested the heat of her coffee with a slow sip, sending his gut into turmoil. When she replaced the mug on the table there was a smudge of frothy milk on her upper lip. He even began to lift his hand to wipe it away, froze. Not wise. Worse, Kelli’s tongue lapped her mouth, removing the froth.

  Mac’s mouth dried. That tongue had done wondrous things on his skin. South of his belt there was a load of tightening going on. ‘I’ll see you back in the department.’ Whether she could understand him when his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth was anyone’s guess, but he was out of there before he did something they’d both regret. Like rekindle everything that had been between them all weekend, the heat and need that had driven them into that super-king-sized bed again and again.

  Silence followed him out of the cafeteria, but cobalt eyes were drilling holes between his shoulder blades. Not a good look for getting through the rest of the shift. And this was only Tuesday. Three more nights before he got a break and could tuck his heart out of sight, away from danger. Though there’d be no hiding out in Wellington for the weekend with his mother and her cronies. She’d cancelled, having booked to go to Melbourne shopping with a friend instead.

  Too late on the danger factor. What he was supposed to be doing now was raising barriers to save himself any further anguish, to keep Kelli safe.

  Because after the coming weekend there’d be another five shifts to get through, again and again and again. Might have to ask Conor to look out for a job for him in Sydney.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  THE WEEK WAS HIDEOUS. Every day Mac struggled with going into work, so he’d gone earlier than normal, hiding away in his office doing paperwork until handover. But once shift started there was no avoiding Kelli and that continuous snub she’d managed to hold onto since Monday night.

  He’d hurt her. No getting away from that. He was hurting too. Denying his love for her was a fail. It didn’t go away, instead held his heart in a vice, shaking his carefully put-together world like that seven-point-eight earthquake last year in Kaikoura. The damage felt as monumental. Hopefully the repair work wouldn’t be as long as some of the roads and railway lines were going to take down south.

  He wouldn’t survive like this.

  I want you, Kelli. In my home, my bed, my life. Everywhere I breathe.

  Now it was Friday night. No more mucking around. He had to talk to Kelli, lay his heart on the line and hope like stink she didn’t jump all over it.

  Over the week Mac had picked up the phone twice to call Billy and ask how he’d allowed himself to be happy again and both times he’d put it away. The guy was on his honeym
oon and didn’t need some nutter asking difficult questions. He had to work this out for himself or the happiness would be shallow.

  But it was the moving-forward bit he was stuck on.

  ‘Goodnight, everyone. Have a great weekend.’ Kelli waved a hand over her shoulder as she headed for the stairway leading to the basement, not a glance in his direction.

  Right. ‘See you all on Monday.’ He headed the same way.

  She didn’t look back when she pushed her way through the heavy doors, just charged down the stairs as if she was late for something.

  Mac raced down behind her. ‘Hey, Kelli, you heading home or to the gym?’

  Kelli kept moving.

  ‘Kelli, wait.’ Please. Okay, ‘Please?’

  Her pace slowed but she didn’t stop.

  As Mac caught up he forced himself not to let those sad eyes put him off his stride. ‘Going to the gym?’

  ‘No. Home to a mug of soup and some tea.’

  ‘A woman could get an ulcer on that diet.’ Mac put a hand out to stop her mad dash and looked directly into those beautiful eyes. ‘Want to hit the All-Nighter for bacon and eggs? Or lash out and try something different?’

  ‘No, thanks.’ She pushed past his hand.

  He was right beside her, his steps matching hers. The only thing they had in sync at the moment. ‘Any chance of a rethink on that?’

  She snapped, ‘What’s the point, Mac? It’s over, whatever it was going on between us. You put your hand up for the weekend, and today is Friday, tomorrow heralds a new weekend, one that doesn’t involve us doing things together. You’re free to do whatever you like as long as it doesn’t involve me.’ Ouch. Go for the throat, why didn’t she? Then, ‘What happened to going to Wellington for your mother’s birthday?’

  They’d reached the landing between floor one and the basement. She carried on down. He followed. ‘My mother’s flown to Aussie with a friend. But before you even think it, that is not why I asked you to join me for a meal. I want to talk with you.’

  ‘I can’t imagine there’s anything I want to hear.’ She glared at him. ‘That’s still a no from me.’

  ‘Have you told your family yet?’

  She understood what he was talking about. ‘Tomorrow at dinner.’

  Less than twenty-four hours to change her mind. ‘Give me a chance. Come and hear me out.’

  ‘I already listened once, didn’t like what I heard.’ Kelli stopped one stair below and stared up at him as though wondering how she was going to get it across to him. ‘You aren’t ready for what I want, Mac. Might never be. Best you spend your energy sorting yourself out.’ That steady gaze seemed stuck on him. As though she couldn’t look away.

  He winced. ‘You didn’t used to be so hard hitting.’

  ‘I’ve finally learned to protect myself.’ Now she turned away. Slowly but oh-so deliberately. ‘See you Monday, Mac.’ There wasn’t a shred of sarcasm in her voice. Just deep sadness.

  ‘Don’t do it, Kelli,’ he called after her. ‘We’re right together.’

  Her foot missed the next step and she pitched forward.

  Mac reached her as she grabbed at the rail to stop from falling. His heart was going crazy as fear of her hurting herself hit him. He grasped her upper arm, held her tight, close to his body, but not so close as to crowd her. ‘Kelli. You crazy girl, not looking where you’re going.’

  ‘Don’t call me crazy.’ She was trembling. Which didn’t stop her tugging free and stepping away. ‘Though it is a new one for me.’

  Mac sat down, held her eye. ‘Join me.’

  If only he knew how to banish that load of caution darkening the cobalt in his favourite eyes.

  ‘So you can go on and on about why we should remain engaged after telling me there was no future for us? No, Mac. I heard your message, loud and clear. I am not setting myself up to be dropped when the use-by date rocks around.’

  She hadn’t moved away. Good sign? Or wishful thinking on his part? ‘I know you’ve been hurt in the past.’

  ‘Yep. We both have.’ Her eyes slowly lowered to stare down the stairwell. ‘Goodnight, Mac.’ That sounded, felt, like goodbye. He watched her take a step down, and another, another. On the next landing she looked up, her eyes bleak. ‘Enjoy your weekend. Get out and do something rash, like go fishing, or play a round of golf. Get involved with people.’

  In other words, get a life.

  ‘What do you want, Kelli? A fling? A wedding? The whole nine yards with kids and a home? Or are you serious about calling this quits?’ When she said nothing he continued. ‘When we started out I got the feeling you weren’t willing to take a chance on any of the happy-ever-after stuff. That you believed everyone was out to hurt you one way or another. So come on. Tell me.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter any more.’

  ‘Yes, it does, sweetheart. I know this now. I have been an ass, afraid to step outside my comfort zone, scared to give you my heart. I have been hiding behind Cherie’s death for so long it was easier to stay there. Do you feel like that?’

  Kelli lifted her gaze back onto him. A bleak gaze that had him fighting not to leap up and hold her tight. Do that and they’d be no further ahead. ‘Don’t turn everything back on me, Mac. You have issues from here to Africa and I don’t hear you talking about them.’

  Don’t give this woman a laser gun. Her aim was phenomenal. ‘Cherie’s gone. It wasn’t her fault she died, any more than I could’ve saved her had I known what was happening. It’s taken you to wake me up from the guilt. Because I want to be with you. I want us. She’ll always be a part of me, but my future is mine. Yours and mine, Kelli.’

  The mixture of sorrow and disbelief that stared out at him angered him. He didn’t need sympathy or understanding. No, he just wanted to love and be loved. Simple as. Complex as. Hard to do.

  ‘If only it was that easy.’ She sank down to sit on the stairs. ‘The weekend was unbelievable. For the first time in a long time I have found someone I can trust not to deliberately hurt me. But you’re not really ready for involvement, and I get that. It took me long enough to come around. But we only signed up for the weekend, not for ever.’ Sadness rolled off her in waves.

  Then suddenly she was on her feet again, heading down to her car.

  ‘Kelli, I want to be there when you tell your family our engagement’s off.’

  ‘What? You want to be whipped?’

  ‘I want them to know the truth.’

  * * *

  Kelli felt her mouth dry up as she stared at Mac. Did she even know him? Really know him?

  I trust him. I love him. What more do I want?

  ‘And what would that be?’ she squeaked. ‘What’s your truth, Mac?’ Why was there a knitting needle attacking her stomach? Stab, stab.

  ‘Kelli.’ Sweet heaven. Two large, firm hands, familiar hands, on her shoulders, holding her ever so gently. ‘Kelli, sweetheart.’ Sex in two words. Say her name like that and the man could have anything.

  Dragging her eyes upward, she finally locked onto his steady gaze. ‘Mac?’

  ‘I don’t want to call our engagement off. I want to make it real.’

  ‘I don’t understand.’ But she might be beginning to. Her stomach was quivering and her head spun, but her heart was strangely steady as a rock.

  ‘I’ve been a fool, a slow learner. I tried to hold you away when all the time I wanted to drag you so close you could never leave me. Every day I stare at that painting and see what I’m missing out on. I love you, Kelli Barnett. Simple and as complicated as that.’ No doubt in his eyes. Not a drop.

  She sank a bit under his hands, her knees not as strong as they were meant to be. ‘Y-you love me?’ Mac loved her. ‘You love me,’ she shouted, and then heard her words echo up the stairwell.

  ‘Tell t
he world, why don’t you?’ A glimmer of a smile appeared, wound through her. ‘Is this your way of saying you might reciprocate my feelings?’

  ‘I do. I love you so much it hurts.’ Her fist banged between her breasts. ‘In here. This week has been hell watching you, hearing you, remembering how well we fit together.’ She took a step up, and another to stand beside him. Reached up on her tiptoes. ‘Yes, Mac Taylor, I love you.’ Her lips sought his, touched lightly.

  Mac’s arms wound round her, brought her up against that hard, soft, warm body.

  She deepened the kiss, lips pressed to lips, her tongue plunging into his mouth, tasting. Her knees weakened some more, so she was forced to lean further into him.

  This was what kissing the man she loved felt like. What being kissed by the man who loved her back was all about.

  She couldn’t get enough.

  * * *

  Eight days later Mac lifted Kelli’s case off the luggage carousel at Sydney’s Kingsford Smith Airport and groaned. ‘What didn’t you leave behind?’

  ‘Last week’s laundry and a bag of stale crisps.’ Her case was stuffed full with toys and cute little dresses for Gabriella that would take at least a year for her to grow into. Kelli pinched those straining arm muscles and grinned. ‘Not going all soft on me?’

  ‘Soft?’ he chortled. ‘Complaining about the goods already?’

  Maybe it was their happiness but they were shooed through Immigration so fast they were outside and climbing into a taxi before they’d caught their breaths.

  ‘Darling Harbour, please,’ Mac directed the driver, adding the name of the hotel they’d stayed at for Tamara and Conor’s wedding.

  Kelli felt a knot of excitement unfurling in her tummy. They were going to unload their bags before heading across the city to see Tamara, Conor, and wee Gabriella. Then tonight—anything could happen. So much to be excited about. Her hand sought Mac’s.

  His fingers wound around hers, giving her a gentle squeeze. ‘Welcome back to our special place.’

  Her lips found his, and this kiss was no sweet, soft one but a hungry, love-filled one. Bringing everything together for them. When Kelli thought about it she felt her whole life had been heading for this day, this man. Then Mac’s tongue slid into her mouth and danced across her tongue. And she couldn’t think any more.