Double-Sided Witch (Covencraft Book 3)

by Margarita Gakis

  Having Lily back was exactly what Jade had wanted ever since she left. She thought she’d be happy, relieved, complete. Instead she was confused and conflicted. She pushed herself out of the chair, intending to head for the bed. Paris came beside her immediately and she didn’t wave him off when he offered some help. His hand on her elbow was strong and warm. She should probably give him back his coat. If he asked for it, she would.

  He didn’t ask and she didn’t say anything. She got into bed with it still on. The silence was starting to grate. She fidgeted with the blankets.

  “Look, I know you probably have a million questions -“ she began.

  “I do,” he said easily. “But they can wait until you’ve gotten some rest.”

  She relaxed further back into the bed. “Thanks. Don’t let me sleep more than a couple hours. I don’t want to spend the night here.”

  A sharp sound at the door had Paris frowning.

  “Sounds like Bruce,” Jade mumbled, her eyes already starting to close.

  Sure enough, as soon as Paris cracked the door, Bruce nosed his way in, slipping underneath the medical bed. “He must know I’m having a nap here. Didn’t want to miss out.”

  “Yes, he does look like he’s settling in for the long haul,” she heard Paris say. Her eyes were already closed and she could feel herself falling away. In that final moment before she fell asleep, she had one more thing to say and she knew it sounded crazy, but she had to say it.

  “If Lily comes back, be nice. She’s been gone a long time.”

  Jade must have dozed off quickly, because the next thing she knew, she felt a hand on her shoulder and heard Paris’ voice calling her name.

  “Jade, it’s late afternoon.”

  She managed some kind of grumbling sound and blinked herself awake. She looked down at her arm, noting the bandage where an IV must have already come and gone. No dreams either - of the Preserve or the closet. She took a deep breath, waking up.

  “How do you feel?” Paris asked.

  “Groggy.”

  Paris went and got Dr. Gellar, who again iterated that she wished Jade would stay the night. Jade looked at Paris, almost challenging him, wondering if he would try to make her stay. Paris gave Jade a quick look and said that if both of them were amenable, he could take Jade home and stay with her in case anything arose.

  Jade could tell Gellar wasn’t happy with the answer, but she nodded anyway. Jade grabbed her shoes from under the chair. They were the only things that hadn’t been taken away for cleaning, and probably the only things that didn’t get ruined by blood. Bruce flicked his tongue at her quickly, almost like he just wanted to touch her to make sure she was still there.

  “When we were getting here, it was like people in the hallway didn’t see us,” Jade said as she stuffed her feet into her shoes.

  “Yes, I cast a quick glamor. I was nearly carrying you at that point and I wanted to avoid gossip and questions.”

  “Could you do it again on the way out?” Jade asked slowly, eyes darting up to him and then back down. “I just… don’t feel like talking to anyone.”

  “Of course.”

  “It’ll work for Bruce too?”

  “Yes, although he’ll have to stay close.”

  “You hear that, buddy?” Jade asked. Bruce slithered out from underneath the bed and stood as close as possible to Jade.

  Paris’ lips quirked in a smile. “That’ll do, Bruce.”

  It was weird walking through the Coven without anyone seeing them. Jade dug her hands deep into the pockets of Paris’ jacket, fiddling with the items he had in there. A few coins, an old receipt, a few wrapped pieces of fresh gum. He also had a small satchel and when she pulled it out and sniffed it, it smelled like wool, laundry and something else. Something faint.

  “What’s this?”

  Paris’ lips quirked. “An old gris-gris. My mother went through a phase where she was into Vodoun. Voodoo,” he added at Jade’s confused look. “Most witches don’t practice it. It’s not taboo, not like demon magic, but it is specialized.”

  “Is it like learning another language?” Jade asked, fingering the soft, worn cloth.

  “Just so. She made that for me when I was younger. I’ve always kept it and it turns up in my things. Part of the magic of it, I suppose, although it’s probably mostly worn out.”

  Jade squeezed it in her hand, feeling something grind together inside the small bag. “I dunno. It feels heavy.” She sniffed it again. “Smells like…” she trailed off thinking. “Black licorice.”

  He turned to her sharply. “I never noticed that.”

  She shrugged, popping it back in the pocket of the coat. “You probably don’t take your stuff out and sniff it. I’m like a squirrel in the forest, rooting around in your things.” She hunched her shoulders. “Speaking of, do you want your coat back?”

  “No, you can keep it for now.”

  No one so much as glanced their way as they walked through the Coven and Jade wondered how the spell worked. Did people notice the front door of the Coven swinging open as they left and think it odd, or was part of the glamor? Maybe the door appeared to stay shut. She thought about asking, but she didn’t have it in her at the moment. She felt some kind of magical burst from Paris as they got in the car and figured he must have done something, maybe released the spell, as they drove off so that he didn’t have to charm the entire car, or have people wonder why a car was driving itself.

  Or maybe shit like that happened at the Coven. Jade had been taking public transit for so long, she had no idea what happened on the road.

  Bruce stretched out in the back seat and Jade envied his relaxed pose, until she saw his scaly patch, more red and sore than before. She slouched down in the passenger seat and crossed her arms over her chest, warding off the chill. She closed her eyes on the drive home, focusing in on the rock and sway of the car as Paris drove. They were back at her cottage soon enough and as they walked up to her cottage, she missed the security of her demon locks. She had liked the way they whirred and rolled as she came home, letting her know that her place was secure. Sure the front door was still bolted, but that didn’t mean anything to her anymore. It wasn’t like the knowledge of ‘safe’ she got from her demon locks.

  “I’m going to go take a shower. Do you mind putting on some coffee?” she asked, already heading up the stairs. Paris nodded and made his way to the kitchen. Bruce loped up the stairs behind her, his tail thumping a few times. Once in her room, Jade paused just to take a breath. Home. This was home now and things would be fine.

  She took Paris’ coat off and tossed it on her bed and then took off the medlab scrubs and threw them in the direction of her laundry pile. At least that was something different - she wasn’t going to have to do laundry any time soon. She had all her stuff from the apartment now. No need to do laundry every three days.

  All their stuff, she corrected herself. Her stuff and Lily’s stuff. Jade wasn’t by herself anymore.

  Bruce dived under the bed immediately and started scratching at the wooden planks of the floor.

  “Hey, stop that!” Jade hissed, getting on her hands and knees and peering under the bed. “What are you doing?”

  Bruce scratched at the floor again, like he was trying to dig a hole out or something.

  “Get out here.”

  He gave her a look and spat on the ground.

  “Ugh, Bruce, c’mon, buddy. Don’t be like this. I just got out of medlab and I’m gross and I just really want to take a shower.”

  Bruce blinked twice at her, and then the floor again, pawing at it.

  “Please, Bruce.”

  He huffed and wiggled out from under the bed, popping on top of it and starting to nose at Paris’ coat.

  “Yes, have at it. Just don’t eat it. I’m sure it’s a very expensive wool coat and it will cost me a lot to replace. Other than that, go forth and do lizard things.” Bruce shimmied down into Paris’ coat like he was planning on a nap.


  The shower was fantastic. She’d been grimy from the hike and being sick plus being medlab always felt like it left a layer on her. When she came back out, Bruce was still lying on top of Paris’ coat on Jade’s bed, his snout buried in the pocket. She shooed him away before getting dressed. Once presentable, hair wet and in a ponytail dripping down her back, she picked up the coat, intending to take it downstairs.

  “We’re not going to tell him you used this like a nap blanket,” she said, folding it over her arm. Bruce flicked his tongue out at her. Jade hesitated. She didn’t suppose she could stay upstairs for the rest of the day. Paris was bound to come up and check on her. She was going to have to answer questions. Eventually. May as well be now. He’d seen Lily, had seen Jade change into her and back. It had always been her biggest secret and now, it was out there. Paris and Gellar had watched it happen.

  It was sort of like falling. Liberating and terrifying. There was no going back now.

  Jade inhaled the scent of brewing coffee and something else as she went downstairs. She hung his coat up by the door and then headed to the kitchen.

  “Either you’re making toast or we need to go back to medlab because I’m about to have a seizure,” she joked.

  Paris set a mug of coffee down on the table followed by a plate of toast.

  Jade sat down in front of them and sighed happily. “What is it about toast when you don’t feel good. It’s… a happy-making food. Instant comfort.”

  “I’m glad you think so. I wasn’t sure if you’d be up for eating.”

  A sip of her coffee informed her that Paris had made it to her liking and she smiled. “Thanks.”

  He had a mug for himself and a slice of toast as well.

  “So, interrogation time?” she asked, taking a big bite of buttery toast.

  “I hope not. I don’t want to grill you. I’d hoped you’d feel comfortable talking to me.”

  Well, shit. Now she felt like a jerk. “No, I do, I mean, as much as I ever do. But that’s more me than you. I guess I just don’t know how or where to begin. It’s like asking me how I feel about being a woman. I’ve always been a woman. I don’t know how to explain it.”

  Paris chewed his toast thoughtfully for a moment. “Do you think you have a mental disorder?”

  “Wow, okay, let’s start with the big questions. No need to ease in.”

  “It is the elephant in the room.”

  “Yeah,” she said, taking a sip of her coffee. “Yeah. I never thought of me, of us, as being a dissociative identity. I mean, I’ve read a lot about it, obviously, because what else should I research? But I don’t feel like either one of us is an alter. And we have knowledge of each other. I know everything that happens when Lily’s in control and she knows everything that happens when I’m in control. We’re not unaware of each other.”

  “You did say you had an abusive childhood. Or rather, you’ve alluded to it.”

  Jade nodded. “I did. We did. But from what I’ve read the abuse has to be really severe for something like a dissociative identity to form and that just wasn’t the case. Our dad drank. He knocked us around and it was really shitty. But not extraordinary? If that makes sense?”

  “Do all your memories include Lily? There was never a time you were without her?”

  “No, never.” She shook her head. “She’s always been there.” Jade took another bite of toast while Paris thought of his next question.

  “How do you switch? Where do you go?”

  Jade shrugged. “I go away, or more to the back. I’m there but not. I can go to sleep if I don’t want to do something. Like swimming. I don’t like water and I can’t swim. But Lily can and if she ever wanted to go, I would go to sleep. Or sometimes it was just… tiring being together all the time. So one of us would sleep.”

  “Her magic feels very different from yours.”

  “Lily has magic?” Jade sat up a bit.

  “That surprises you?” asked Paris, his eyebrows going up.

  Jade nodded. “Yeah. I don’t know why, but I just… I didn’t think she had magic. Huh. What’s it like?”

  Paris thought for a moment. “It’s slower than yours. More sedate. Smells like grapefruit and cinnamon. You’re more like flowers and cloves.” Paris brushed the crumbs off the table and into his palm, depositing them back on his empty plate. “How did it work when you were younger?”

  “You mean how often did we switch?” Jade asked and Paris nodded. “I don’t know. It’s not like there was a schedule. We both paid attention in school. That was helpful on tests. I’ve a better memory than her, so I did most of the reading. But she’s better with people. She likes talking to them, getting to know them. She had more friends or, I guess, all the friends.”

  “Has no one else ever known about both of you?”

  Jade shook her head. “No.”

  “But she hasn’t been here while you’ve been at the Coven,” Paris clarified.

  “No. It’s just been me for a long time. For about six years.”

  “Why? Where did she go?”

  Jade thought about when Lily went away. Died. That’s what Jade had thought it was. She thought Lily was dead, never to return. Only now she was back. Did she die? Could she die if Jade was still alive? Thinking of that day made Jade feel sick. She could still see it perfectly in her head - the white tiles of the bathroom, the water in the tub, and then blood, so much blood everywhere and Jade waking up alone. She’d been by herself and didn’t know what to do, she’d always had Lily, always. Being alone was terrifying and awful.

  “We don’t have to talk about it right now.”

  Paris’ voice cut through her thoughts and she looked down to see one of his hands resting on hers again, but his attention was focused on the flames burning in her sink. She didn’t realize she’d lit them, her magic fuelling them a dark blue-green color. She took a deep breath and pulled them back, watching them die down slowly and then sputter out.

  “If you don’t want to answer something or can’t talk about something, I won’t make you,” Paris said.

  “I know,” she answered. She felt raw - all her emotions too close to the surface. She knew she didn’t have to answer his questions, but it was liberating to sit here and tell him things. “You’ve a nice face for talking to.”

  “How so?” he asked, his lips curling slightly in a smile. He kept his hand resting on hers. It was warm against her skin.

  Jade shrugged, not meeting his eyes. “I don’t know. You just don’t look all judgy when I say stuff. You look like you’re interested, but you’re not hustling me along.”

  “You’ve carried these secrets for a long time. Secrets like that aren’t easy to let go of.”

  She ate more of her toast and the kitchen was quiet. Not awkwardly quiet, but just silent save for the sound of her chewing.

  “Where is Lily now?”

  “Sleeping, I think,” Jade said and then she let her mind drift, poking at the edges for where she used to be able to feel Lily. It wasn’t quite like before, when she always knew Lily was there, but if Jade concentrated, she could feel Lily just out of her reach - on the perimeter, like a circumference around Jade’s brain. “I think… I think coming back has been really tiring for her. I think she was really far away. Or really deep down. Like being underwater,” she added, as an afterthought, thinking of the lake and its heavy, pressure-bearing weight. “I think she’s been trying to reach me through my dreams. I think some of the dreams I’ve been having have been about her.”

  “Just some?”

  Jade nodded. “Sometimes, in my dreams, I’m at home, where we grew up and Lily’s there. She’s there in the other dreams too, at the lake, but it’s different there. There’s someone else there with us, at the lake.”

  “The Sparrow Lady?” Paris questioned and Jade looked up at him sharply. “You mentioned her at the lake. You said Lily warned you about her.”

  “Lily said that it’s easier to get to me in my dreams. For both her and the Sparro
w Lady.”

  “Do you know who she is? Is she like Lily?”

  “No,” Jade said quickly, hoping her expression clearly stated what she thought of that idea. “Not at all. She’s… there, but I don’t see her face. I don’t know her.”

  “What does she do?”

  “She’s just there. Although, once, I was underwater and she was pulling me down, toward the bottom only it never ended, I just kept going deeper and deeper.” Jade shivered and took a sip of her coffee. It was cooling off and she wanted to microwave some warmth back into it, but she didn’t want to get up.

  “Is there anything you recognize about her? Is she a Coven member?”

  “No, nothing. I don’t recognize her shape or magic. I don’t feel her when I’m awake. I don’t know if that means anything.”

  “When you were trying to cast your dream spell and it wasn’t working, I thought… I thought I felt someone working against your magic. I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t certain, or rather, I wasn’t certain what I should do about it.”

  “Honestly, I should probably be really pissed at you for not telling me, but I’m so goddamn tired, I can’t even be angry right now,” Jade said, feeling the deep truth of her words. He shouldn’t have kept it from her, but she didn’t know if she would have been able to do anything with the information or if it would have been just one more thing overloading her mind. “Do you know who?”

  “No. It wasn’t anyone’s magic that I recognized. I thought I smelled vanilla, but that’s a rather common element to most people’s magic, so it doesn’t narrow it down.”

  “So if Sparrow Lady is the one hijacking my dreams, it sounds like she wants to keep hijacking them and didn’t want me doing any magic to break that.”

  “Well, that can be resolved. If you’re amenable, I’ll cast some wards over you tonight, and I can stay here again if that’s all right with you.”

  That sounded like a pretty great idea to Jade. Between Lily showing up and someone messing with her magic and her dreams, Jade didn’t really want to be in the house by herself. Of course she had Bruce, but whatever this unknown woman was doing, he hadn’t stopped her before, so Jade doubted Bruce would be much assistance.