Get Shorty: A Novel cp-1

by Elmore Leonard

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Can I ask you—how ’bout your lead? Who you see for Lovejoy?”

  “We’re getting Michael Weir.”

  “Hey, shit, come on. How you gonna do that?”

  “I put a gun right here,” Chili said, touching the side of his head, “and I tell him, ‘Sign the paper, Mikey, or you’re fuckin dead.’ Like that.”

  “I wonder,” Catlett said, “would that work. Man, it would simplify dealing with movie stars. They get temper’mental on you, lay the piece alongside their head. ‘Get back to work, motherfucker.’ Yeah, Michael Weir, he’d be good. You got anybody else?”

  “We’re working on it.”

  “You know who I see for Al Roxy? Harvey Keitel. The man could do it with his eyes closed. But

  GET SHORTY 137

  you know who else? Morgan Freeman. You know who I mean?”

  Chili said, “Yeah, Morgan Freeman. But he’s a colored guy.”

  “Where’s it say in the script he’s white? Color is what the part needs, man, somebody to do it has some style. The way it is now Ronnie could do it, play himself, a cracked-out asshole. You also what you need is a good woman part, get some love in it. The only women you have now, you have Lovejoy’s sister, on his ass all the time, and you have that whore friend of Roxy’s, but she’s only in two scenes.”

  Chili was trying to think of the name of the girl in the one page of the script he’d read. Not Irene . . .

  “You know what I’m saying? A good juicy woman part.”

  Chili gave him a nod, still trying to think of the girl’s name.

  “You have Lovejoy smelling his flowers, right. So what you need is a woman different than he is to come along and help him out. Like, say, Theresa Russell, man. Or the one, what’s her name? Greta something . . .”

  “Greta Scacchi,” Chili said.

  “That’s the one. That’s how you pronounce it, huh, Skacky? I never knew that. I heard Scotchy, I never heard Skacky.”

  “You’re hearing it now,” Chili said.

  “Sexy woman. You can go either way, Greta or Theresa Russell,” Catlett said. “Take Roxy’s friend the whore and make her more important. You understand? Like he beats up on her, so she goes to Lovejoy, tells him something important will help him out, just about the time he’s thinking of giving up.”

  Chili remembered the girl’s name in the script. “There’s Ilona.”

  “What about her?”

  “Get something going there.”

  “With Ilona? You know how old Ilona is?”

  Chili got out a cigarette and lit it. He felt the guy watching him. “Yeah, she’s young.”

  “She’s sixteen,” Catlett said, “same age as Lovejoy’s kid, Bernard, she calls Bernie.”

  “I was thinking you could make her older.”

  The guy kept staring at him.

  “You do that, you lose her telling things to Lovejoy about his own son he don’t know about, when he thought he was so close to the boy.” Catlett paused a moment and said, “Have you read this?”

  “Part of it, yeah.”

  “Part of it?” Catlett said, sitting back in Harry’s creaky chair. “You know what it’s about?”

  “I know Lovejoy’s following this other guy . . .”

  There was a silence, not long, Chili and Catlett looking at each other until Catlett said, “Al Roxy, the one he’s following around, killed his kid.”

  “Killed him—how?”

  “Ran over him with his car. On his way home drunk, hits the kid crossing the street and keeps going. It’s right in front of Lovejoy’s flower shop. He sees it happen and almost goes to pieces right there, his boy laying dead. Before this we know Lovejoy’s wife left him and all he has is this boy. The boy and his flower business, that’s his whole life.”

  Chili didn’t say anything.

  He hadn’t read the script, so the guy was telling him about it and it seemed okay. Why not? Saying now there was a witness who got the license number . . .

  GET SHORTY 139

  “So the cops pick up Roxy, he says he didn’t know he hit anybody. It’s the next day, so there’s no way to tell he was drinking, but they have evidence, find some blood on his car matches up . . . Anyway, Roxy’s lawyer does a job on the court and all the man gets is his license suspended, can’t drive a car for six months. Lovejoy, he’s at the court hearing, can’t believe it. That’s all? The motherfucker kills my kid and that’s all he gets? That’s what he’s thinking, but see, the man is too . . . well, he’s too timid to come out and say anything. After it’s over Roxy says to Lovejoy, ‘Tough break. But the kid shouldn’t have run out in the street.’ Or, ‘The kid should have watched where he was going.’ Something like that.”

  “What’s Roxy do?” Chili said. “I mean, what kind of work?”

  “He runs a body shop. You know, bump and paint. Does good too. This is in Detroit it takes place, Harry’s hometown, though he don’t have a fondness for the city like I do. I lived there nine years.”

  A question popped into Chili’s mind.

  “You ever do time?”

  The guy started to smile, then let it go.

  “I been bound over, but no jail time, no.”

  “So what happens?”

  “Lovejoy gets it into his head Roxy, sooner or later, is gonna drive his car, this Cadillac. So what Lovejoy does, he takes his florist delivery van and changes it over. Paints out the name, has peep-holes cut in the sides and gets in there with a video camera. He’s gonna stay on Roxy every time the man shows himself. The minute he ever drives off in a car, Lovejoy is gonna have it on tape and show it to the cops.”

  “Ilona helps him out?”

  “She drives him after school and they talk about Bernard, the kid. See, but now he’s letting his business go to hell and his sister gets on him. Her and her husband, this big asshole that’s always giving Lovejoy a hard time. It’s good the way it starts out, but then it gets slow in the middle. You see Roxy, what he’s doing. Likes to drink, likes to gamble, but you don’t see him do anything so bad you get the idea the man’s dangerous. You know what I’m saying? Like if Lovejoy gets too close and Roxy sees what he’s doing, Lovejoy could get taken out. What I was thinking was if Lovejoy finds out the man’s got some kind of crooked deal going.”

  “Using his place as a chop shop,” Chili said. “Buys hot cars, cuts ’em up and sells the parts.”

  “Yeah, that’s the kind of thing. Then get the woman in it, she’s the one tells Lovejoy what the setup is.”

  “He catch the guy driving or not?”

  “Yeah, he catches him, videos the man driving down the road. Catches him the last day he’s gonna do this.”

  “The guy doesn’t see him?”

  “Never suspects a thing. So Lovejoy puts it on him, shows his tape to the cops. They pick up Roxy, there’s a court hearing and what you suppose he gets? His license taken away again, this time for a year. Lovejoy is right back where he started only worse. He gets sued by Roxy for annoying him, invading his privacy, different other legal shit and the court decides in favor of Roxy. Lovejoy has to pay him a hundred thousand in damages. Coming out of court his sister is calling him a fool, saying now you

  GET SHORTY 141

  have to sell your business and you got nothing. That’s where I ended off.” Catlett picked up the script. “With, yeah, fifteen pages to go.”

  Chili said, “You don’t know how it ends? Take a look.”

  “I don’t cheat, look at the end when I read something. But it’s good, huh? What would you do,” Catlett said, “you were Lovejoy?”

  “I know guys,” Chili said, “would cut Roxy in half with a chain saw.”

  “Yeah, but what would you do?”

  “I’d have to think about it.”

  “I’d shoot the man in the head,” Catlett said. “Set him up and do it.”

  “You like to think you would,” Chili said. “Take a look, find out.” Chili reac
hed over, picked up one of the red-covered scripts from the desk and opened it. “What page you on?”

  Catlett was looking at his script. “Ninety-two. They come out of the courthouse, his sister’s on his ass. Then the brother-in-law, Stanley, gets on him.”

  Chili found the page, began to read:

  EXT. COURTHOUSE – DAY

  ANGLE ON Lovejoy’s van pulling up in front. Ilona gets out, her expression distraught as she looks up and sees:

  REVERSE – ILONA’SPOV

  Lovejoy and Helen coming out of the courthouse followed closely by Stanley. Helen is already speaking as they pause at the top of the stairs.

  ANGLE ON LOVEJOY, HELEN AND STANLEY

  Lovejoy sees Ilona, a wistful smile touches his face.

  HELEN You’re so smart, aren’t you? Now you have nothing, and you brought it all on yourself.

  STANLEY If you’re thinking of coming to us for help, forget it.

  Lovejoy turns to Stanley with a level gaze.

  LOVEJOY I wouldn’t dream of it, Stanley. Besides, you both have your own problems.

  STANLEY (scowling) What’re you talking about?

  LOVEJOY

  Being married to each other. (starts down the stairs)

  Have a nice day.

  ANGLE ON ILONA, WATCHING

  As Lovejoy approaches and we hear Stanley CALL after him.

  GET SHORTY 143

  STANLEY (O.S.) No more Sunday dinner at our house, Roger!

  Lovejoy gives Ilona a wry grin.

  LOVEJOY At least some good has come of this.

  They get in the van and drive off.

  Chili looked at Catlett turning pages, skimming through the script. “I think when Stanley opens his mouth Lovejoy oughta pop him and walk away, not say a fuckin word.”

  “That’s ’cause you don’t know the man,” Catlett said, turning another page. “Next, you see him alone in his flower shop watering some plants, thinking what he should do. The man likes working here and now he’s gonna lose it. Next, you see him in the van again, going by Roxy’s place.”

  Chili turned pages to catch up, came to a scene, Roxy—it looked like Roxy was having a party.

  “Inside the office there,” Catlett said, “Roxy’s celebrating his putting it to Lovejoy, having drinks with his friends . . . Now you see Lovejoy in the van parked across the street, waiting, but we don’t know what for. Looking like he’s doing some more thinking . . . Back to Roxy, he’s getting drunk, say he wants everybody to come out to his place on the lake . . . Now Lovejoy is listening to symphony music on the radio, still in the van . . . Roxy, inside the office, is now getting ugly, has a fight with the woman wants to take him home.”

  Chili turned some more pages. “What’s I-N-T?” “Interior,” Catlett said. “Inside. Roxy goes out . . .” “What’s P-O-V?” “Point of view. Lovejoy’s P-O-V, like he’s seeing

  it when Roxy comes out and gets in his Cadillac. Drives off—now we looking at the Cadillac through Lovejoy’s windshield, following him.”

  Both Chili and Catlett turned a page. “He’s got the video camera with him,” Chili said.

  “He’s gonna get Roxy driving again.” “That’s what he’s doing,” Catlett said. “Roxy spots him.” “I could see that coming.” “He makes a sudden U-turn.” For several moments they both read in silence. “I knew it,” Catlett said. “He’s on Lovejoy’s ass

  now.” Chili kept quiet, reading the scene:

  EXT. CITY STREETS – NIGHT

  ANGLES ON the Cadillac chasing the van through traffic, squealing around corners, narrowly missing cars at intersections, the Cadillac, sideswiping a parked car.

  INTERCUT

  Roxy at the wheel of the Cadillac, recklessly determined.

  Lovejoy in the van, glancing at mirror apprehensively.

  GET SHORTY 145

  EXT. INTERSECTION – NIGHT

  Quiet, little traffic, then none. Until suddenly the van comes around the corner and ducks into an alley. We SEE the rear lights go off. Now the Cadillac takes the corner and flies past the alley. After SEVERAL BEATS the van backs out, proceeds at a normal pace.

  EXT. LOVEJOY’S FLOWER SHOP – NIGHT

  The van arrives and parks at the curb across the street. Lovejoy gets out slowly, exhausted. As he starts across the street:

  HEADLIGHTS POP ON

  down the block. We hear an engine ROAR. And now a car, the Cadillac, is hurtling toward Lovejoy in the middle of the street, frozen in the highbeam of the headlights, in the exact spot where his son was killed.

  Catlett said, “Hmmmm,” sitting back, finished. Chili said, “Wait,” still reading, “don’t say noth

  ing.” He was on the second to last page of the script.

  INTERCUT

  Roxy hunched over the steering wheel, wild- eyed. Roxy’s POV – to see Lovejoy through windshield.

  CLOSE ON Lovejoy standing in the street.

  REVERSE – Lovejoy’s POV–car hurtling toward him.

  Roxy’s POV as Lovejoy suddenly bolts for the flower shop. EXT. FLOWER SHOP – NIGHT AN ANGLE – on the Cadillac swerving after

  Lovejoy, who dives out of the way just in time. INT. CADILLAC – CLOSE ON ROXY His look of horror as he sees: THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD The plate glass front of the flower shop sudden

  ly in front of him. INT. FLOWER SHOP (SLOW-MOTION SEQ.) – NIGHT The Cadillac crashes through the plate glass,

  plows across the store interior to smash into the refrigerated showcase and come to a dead stop. INT. FLOWER SHOP – ANOTHER ANGLE – NIGHT

  Lovejoy enters, cautiously approaches the Cadillac, looks in to see:

  ROXY IN CADILLAC His bloody countenance among flowers, plants, the man obviously dead.

  GET SHORTY 147

  Chili turned to the last page. Now the cops are there, lot of activity. Medics come out with Roxy in a body bag. Lovejoy watches, depressed, looks up. There’s Ilona. Ilona takes him aside and “with wisdom beyond her years” tells him it’s over and a few other things about flowers, saying, “Besides, making things grow is your life.” Besides—they used that word all the time in movies, but you hardly ever heard it in real life.

  Catlett said, “Well?”

  Chili looked up, closing the script.

  Catlett said, “Didn’t shoot him, like he should have.”

  “He didn’t do anything,” Chili said. “The guy gets killed, yeah, but what’s Lovejoy do?”

  Catlett came up in the chair to lean on the desk.

  “He makes it happen.”

  “What, he planned it? He dives out of the way to save his ass, that’s all.”

  “What you don’t understand,” Catlett said, “is what the movie is saying. You live clean, the shit gets taken care of somehow or other. That’s what the movie’s about.”

  “You believe that?”

  “In movies, yeah. Movies haven’t got nothing to do with real life.”

  Chili was about to argue with him, but changed his mind and said, “I don’t like the ending.”

  Catlett eased back again. “You want to change it?”

  Chili didn’t answer, looking at the ZigZag script cover, opening it then and looking at the title page.

  MR. LOVEJOY An Original Screenplay by MURRAY SAFFRIN

  The title was the first thing that ought to be changed. And the guy’s name. Murray Saffrin was better than Lovejoy.

  “You don’t care for the ending,” Catlett said, “and I don’t like the middle part. I’m thinking what we could do is fix it. You hear what I’m saying? Get some heat in it. Make the people’s hands sweat watching it. You and me, we could do it. It’s our kind of shit we talking about here. Like the action Roxy’s into you mentioned, doing stolen cars.”

  “Fix up the girl’s part,” Chili said. An idea came to him and he said, “We might even be able to get Karen Flores.”

  Catlett looked up at him. “Karen Flores . . .”

  “She’s been out of movies a few years, but she’s g
ood.”

  Catlett said, “Karen Flores, I know that name . . .”

  “Change the ending,” Chili said, “so Lovejoy’s the one makes it happen, he isn’t just standing there.”

  “We could do all that,” Catlett said, “you and me, sit down and write the script over where it needs it.”

  Chili opened the script again, flipped through a few pages looking at the format. “You know how to write one of these?”

  “You asking me,” Catlett said, “do I know how to write down words on a piece of paper? That’s what you do, man, you put down one word after the other as it comes in your head. It isn’t like having to learn

  GET SHORTY 149

  how to play the piano, like you have to learn notes. You already learned in school how to write, didn’t you? I hope so. You have the idea and you put down what you want to say. Then you get somebody to add in the commas and shit where they belong, if you aren’t positive yourself. Maybe fix up the spelling where you have some tricky words. There people do that for you. Some, I’ve even seen scripts where I know words weren’t spelled right and there was hardly any commas in it. So I don’t think it’s too important. You come to the last page you write in ‘Fade out’ and that’s the end, you’re done.”

  Chili said, “That’s all there is to it?”

  “That’s all.”

  Chili said, “Then what do I need you for?”

  He heard the elevator as he was opening the door to 325, looked down the hotel hallway and saw Karen coming toward him, Karen in a loose-fitting white shirt and gray slacks. Chili pushed the door open and waited, two copies of Lovejoy under his arm.

  “I was in the bar when you came in,” Karen said. “I thought you saw me.” He shook his head saying no, but was glad to see her now, motioning Karen to go in. She said, “Well, I read it.” He followed her into the living room, the pagoda lamps still on, and dropped the scripts on the counter. A light on the phone was blinking on and off.

  “You want to check your messages?”

  “I can do it later,” Chili said. “Sit down, make yourself comfortable. I want to hear what you think.”

  He took off his suitcoat as Karen went over to a fat chair next to the sofa.