by Nell Dixon
"And?" he pressed, "Why haven't you moved? I know you hate this flat. I've seen your face when I bring you home, Jenni."
She knew Nate would be determined to get to the bottom of the riddle of why she chose to live in such an awful place. He wouldn't let up 'til he had the answer.
"The nursing home cost me a lot of money. I had to sell Mum and Dad's house. When those funds ran out, I borrowed the money to keep Mum there. I can't afford to move yet, Nate." Now that she had confessed her money worries to someone, a huge weight lifted from her shoulders. She'd struggled along with it for so long alone.
He stayed silent for a moment. "Why didn't you tell me? I would have loaned you the money or helped you work something out."
"I don't want charity, Nate. Making sure Mum was happy and cared for in the place of her choice was the least I could do for her." She knew her voice sounded sharp and she didn't intend it to. She valued her independence. Her flat might not be very special, but she had paid off most of the debt with her own hard work. Soon she would be able to start getting a deposit together. Then she'd be able to find a new home.
She hadn't been working for Nate very long when her mother had died. Nate had still been wrapped up in his grief for Cerys. Jenni learned from her childhood to be independent, to keep things to herself. Old habits died hard.
"So what are you going to do now?"
Jenni blinked. "Do?"
"Now your birth mother has your address?" He tapped the note between his fingers. "Reading between the lines, it sounds as if she might be involved with something or someone pretty unsavoury."
Jenni stared at him. "Surely not. Maybe she simply has a lot on at the moment. We don't know anything about her life. It is almost Christmas."
Nate frowned. "Exactly. You don't know anything about her. You didn't give her your address, so how did she find you? I'm sorry, Jen. I'm concerned about you, that's all. I think you're too vulnerable living here by yourself."
"There must be a simpler explanation, Nate." She became aware of the faint pleading note in her voice. She hadn't realized until now just how much she wanted everything to be all right, to have someone who belonged to her. Someone who was truly family. How pathetic was that? Nate scowled, his face perplexed.
"Yes, there probably is." The small crease stayed on his forehead as he handed the note back to her.
He looked at his watch and grimaced. "I have to go, Jenni. I'll pick you up in the morning and give you a lift into work. Promise me you'll take extra care about your security. Don't answer the door if you don't know who it is."
"I'm not a child, Nate. I've lived here on my own for over a year now, I think I can take care of myself." She resented the implication that she couldn't be trusted to take basic safety precautions.
"Just be careful, Jenni. I'll pick you up at seven, which should give us time to get quite a lot of work done before the rest of the staff arrives for briefing."
She followed him to the door. "Okay I'll see you tomorrow."
He paused at the top of the stairs, his expression serious as he surveyed her face. "Lock the door behind me, Jenni."
Something about the set of his shoulders made her heart beat a little faster. The butterflies started to dance in her stomach. "I will."
Chapter Seven
The next morning Jenni dressed with special care. She decided to wear one of the new tailored suits Lorna had persuaded her to buy. The department store on the high street had been having a pre-Christmas special sale, so she had managed to buy two outfits for the price of what one would normally have cost her. The amount she'd saved appealed to her bank balance. The fit of the suit appealed to her vanity.
The morning flew by. The team from New York arrived and appeared to be impressed with both the model of the planned building and the presentation. The brunch she arranged went well too. By mid-afternoon, the clients left to go back to their hotel to rest. Jenni took the opportunity to clear up while Nate debriefed the rest of the team.
She and Nate had been invited to dine with Mr. Woods, the head of the delegation, and his P.A., at their hotel that evening before they left for London in the morning to see the rival bid.
"This is our chance to really show what we can do," Nate told Jenni as she gathered up the briefing papers in the boardroom. "Mr. Woods is very particular about the companies he works with. It's not only having a great design. He always says he likes to feel a rapport with the people he employs. That's why he's here and not some junior executive. If it all goes well tonight, we might just seal the deal."
Jenni paused in her tidying. "So, how well do you think we're doing?"
"He seemed to love everything so far about the quality of the project and he was quite amenable to the suggestions we put to him," Nate said.
"But?" Jenni asked.
Nate sighed. "I don't know. I have a feeling the real decider will be the dinner tonight. After all, today we only went over the things that must have already been pitched to him in New York."
Jenni's confidence plummeted. She wasn't good at social small talk. What if she messed the deal up tonight for Nate? Miss Marchant, the American P.A, or Jo, as she had said she preferred to be called, had looked very pleasant, but she appeared very sophisticated to Jenni. Her conversation had been peppered with quotes like, "When we were in New Zealand," or "When we did the Japanese project,” and "When we were in Hungary." Jenni hadn't even travelled as far as London very often. How could she compete?
"Why don't you ask Nathalie to go to the dinner tonight? She's very good at making conversation, I'm sure she'd do a better job of selling the contract." All Jenni could think about was how terrible she'd feel if they lost the contract because of her social ineptitude. Nathalie was a successful businesswoman in her own right, she would be sure to make a good impression.
Nate stared at her with a frown. "Why would I want to ask Nathalie? You're my P.A. You know more about the project than most people. You've done a terrific job here today."
Jenni flushed. "I just thought..." she faltered. Nate gazed at her, obviously baffled.
"Jenni, I have every faith in you. There is nothing for you to worry about. Just treat tonight as a pleasant night out."
She shuffled the papers in her hands into a folder, intent on her task. The touch of his hands on her shoulders as he came to stand behind her startled her and sent a thrill of anticipation through her body.
"Just be yourself, Jenni. You'll be fine."
The phone rang. He took his hands from her shoulders as she reached across to take the call.
* * * *
Back in her bedroom after a long luxurious soak in the bath, Jenni surveyed the contents of her wardrobe in despair. What did one wear to a meal in a five star hotel restaurant? Thanks to Lorna, she had a respectable work wardrobe and even a couple of new casual things, but anything more formal became a struggle.
Gloomily, she studied her options. A black dress she had worn for her mother's funeral. A pink summer strappy dress she had worn for a college friend's wedding years ago, or a very clingy cherry red dress Lorna had given her a few months before.
She pulled the red dress out of the closet. It had been one of Lorna's impulse buys from a shop that had been closing down. On getting it home, she had discovered it didn't fit her and had gifted it to Jenni. At the time Jenni had never envisaged herself at the time as being brave enough to wear it. Perhaps now was the time to get her courage up.
She stared at it for a few more minutes then looked again at her other choices. A picture of Jo Marchant looking immaculate in a beautiful evening dress flashed through her head. She knew she had no option but to brazen it out in the red dress.
By the time Nate rang her doorbell at precisely eight o'clock, the butterflies in her stomach had been replaced by elephants with wings. It would be difficult to eat a three-course dinner when she felt as sick as a dog. Her confidence had grown since she had started to work for Nate. However, the importance he'd attached to this occasi
on had sent her right back to square one. She hated to feel uncertain, so paused for a moment to collect her thoughts before she hurried down the stairs to let Nate in.
Jenni's mouth gaped open when she opened the door. He wore a tailored black suit she hadn't seen before. As he stood on her doorstep, he looked larger, darker, and more handsome than ever. His eyes widened as he took in her appearance. A low whistle left his lips.
"Wow Jenni! You look fantastic."
This time there could be no doubt about his opinion of her image. He studied her with open admiration. "You'll knock them dead."
Her pulse still beat wildly as she checked in her coat at the hotel cloakroom. She took her place next to Nate in the lobby and looked around for their hosts.
The elevator doors opened. The Americans appeared. Jo Marchant looked resplendent in an oriental jade silk two-piece suit. Nate gave Jenni's hand a quick comforting squeeze. She savoured the brief touch and drew strength from the fleeting contact.
To her relief, the meal went well. Mr. Woods, or Sam as he rapidly became, was a genial and entertaining host. Jo Marchant proved to be an educated, interesting hostess. The part Jenni had been dreading, making casual conversation, had been fun after all.
After coffee, Sam suggested they adjourn to the residents' lounge for a post-dinner liqueur. Jenni excused herself to go to the powder room. Jo accompanied her. They walked across the marble tiled floor of the lobby together.
Jenni stood in front of the marble-topped basins and ran cool water over her hot wrists. She stole a quick glance at Jo as she touched up her lipstick. The American girl appeared well groomed, sophisticated, with not a hair out of place.
"I hope you don't mind my asking a personal question," Jo said, "but you and Nate? Are you an item?" She looked at Jenni.
Jenni paused. A great spear of jealousy pierced her heart. She wished she could lie. "No, we're not. Nate's fiancée was killed in an accident two years ago. We're just friends and colleagues." She hoped she sounded calm and matter-of-fact.
"Mmm, I see. That must have been terrible for him."
"He doesn't like to talk about it." Jenni's dismay grew as she watched Jo. If anyone was elegant, intelligent and beautiful enough to replace Cerys in Nate's affections, then Jo stood a good chance. Jenni's green-eyed jealousy monster raged inside her. Each word Jo spoke was a fresh stab of anguish.
Jo smiled. "Two years is a long time alone for a guy as good looking as Nate. I can't believe he doesn't date."
"He loved Cerys very much." Jenni felt compelled to defend him.
"Maybe he needs to meet the right woman." Jo suggested. She smoothed her already perfect hair. The iron bands around Jenni's heart tightened as she fiddled with her watch to hide her agitation. She hoped Jo hadn't noticed her hands tremble on the strap.
The rest of the night passed in pure agony for Jenni. Jo's technique was subtle. Jenni had to give her credit for that. There was no out-and-out flirting, just solicitous attention to his every word. Pain twisted like a dagger in Jenni's heart every time Nate responded.
Jenni remained lost in her own thoughts and oblivious of her silence until Sam spoke. "Are you tired, Jenni? It's been a busy day."
"I am, actually. It's been a great evening and a real pleasure to get to know you both but I think I'd better call it a night." She picked up her bag and stood up. Nate leapt to his feet.
"I'll take a taxi home, Nate. I don't want to be the party pooper." She smiled apologetically at Sam and Jo.
"No, I'll take you home. It's late. This close to Christmas, it can be difficult to get a cab," Nate offered.
A sneaky part of her was glad he didn't want to stay with Jo, but she couldn't help feeling concerned the Americans might be offended if they both disappeared.
"Actually, Jo and I are ready to call it a night, too. We've that trip to London tomorrow. It's been a busy day today. I think the old jet lag is creeping in," Sam shook hands with Nate and kissed Jenni on the cheek. "It's been a great night. I'll be in touch soon. Good to get to know you both."
The roads gleamed white with frost when they left the hotel. Ice covered the Range Rover. Jenni huddled up in the front of the car while Nate ran the engine to defrost the windows.
"That went well, don't you think?" she asked as Nate cleared the windscreen.
"Not bad. You were great. Sam is a bit old-fashioned when it comes to business. He always prefers to deal with people he feels he knows and he claims that by meeting people in a less formal setting, he can soon tell which companies he would be happy to deal with."
"Is he right?" Jenni asked. "Has he ever had his fingers burned?"
Nate laughed. "No, Sam Woods is a shrewd judge of people. He always seems to do well with his developments. Once Sam has your company on his team, he puts lots of contracts your way. That's why tonight was so important."
"I see." She longed to ask him what he thought of Jo Marchant, but, then again, did she really want to know?
Her mind ran back over the conversation she'd had with Jo. The other girl had much more in common with Nate than she did. Jo was everything she imagined Cerys to have been. Jenni sighed. The more she thought about it, the more depressed she felt. Maybe she had been fooling herself when she'd thought Nate was attracted to her. A make-over and new clothes might not be enough to make him see her for the woman she really was.
The pavement outside Jenni's flat looked deserted for once, it being too cold even for the gang of teenage diehards. Nate turned towards her.
"Thank you for everything today, Jenni. You've been fantastic. You kept everybody and everything running like clockwork." His warm voice rang with approval.
"No problem, truly. I know how much the contract means to you." Her spirits lifted again at his praise.
He lifted his hand to stroke a stray tendril of her hair and curled it idly around his finger. "In case I didn't tell you, you looked fabulous tonight, Jenni."
The blood rushed in her ears as her pulse moved up another notch. As if from a distance, she heard a squeaky "Oh," come out of her mouth right before he kissed her.
* * * *
Rufus greeted him with unabashed relief on his return home and bounced up the hall to drop a half-chewed dog biscuit at Nate's feet. He sank down into a nearby armchair to rub the top of Rufus's silky head as he turned the events of the night over in his mind.
Jenni didn't stray too far from his thoughts as he remembered her in that fantastic red dress with the fabric that clung to her slender curves as she walked on her high heels—a beautiful young woman who oozed sex appeal and unconscious charm. The woman he'd kissed till they had both been breathless with passion. Someone he had no right to love.
While the girls had been in the powder room, Sam Woods had told him how impressed he had been by Jenni both in and out of the office.
"You're a lucky man, Nate!" Sam had remarked, as he'd puffed on his cigar.
The deep shameful sense that he had betrayed Cerys' memory filled his soul. He realized for twenty-four hours now, he hadn't thought of Cerys. Hadn't compared other women to her, hadn't smelled her perfume or glimpsed a girl who looked enough like her to compel him to turn around to check the impossible. What had happened to him?
It had to be Jenni, but she deserved love, deserved a man who could give her his whole heart. Not someone like him. A man whose heart was buried with another woman in a cold and lonely grave. Nate had forfeited all rights to fall in love again the night he had failed Cerys.
* * * *
Jenni wasn't sure what to expect from Nate when she arrived for work the next morning. He had looked at her after they'd kissed as if he hadn't known who she was. He had recoiled from her so fast it had been embarrassing. She had to face the truth—no matter how much she might try to reach it, Cerys still held Nate's heart.
Bitterly, she almost wished Jo Marchant luck. Almost, because she still had a niggling doubt that Jo might succeed where Jenni had failed.
Mike Walker waited by Lorna'
s desk as Jenni arrived. She smiled at him distractedly. In the last few days he had been hanging around a lot.
"Wow, Jenni, you look fabulous. I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I was so busy." His eyes gleamed with frank admiration from behind his glasses.
"Thank you, Mike." Something in her tone caused Lorna to look at her with a frown. Mike continued to loiter. He joined in the discussion whenever the opportunity arose. Jenni wished he wouldn't stand so close to her.
"When you've quite finished swapping gossip, Jennifer, we do have a business to run. Mr Walker, I'm sure there are plenty of things to do in your department."
Jenni swivelled on her heels, Nate never called her Jennifer. Her temper heated when she tilted her head upward to look at his face.
Chapter Eight
Mike disappeared towards the lift. Lorna found a pressing errand to run. Which left Nate and Jenni alone by the reception desk.
"That was uncalled for, Nate." Jenni's heart thumped wildly at his closeness.
"Maybe, but there seems to be too much time wasted in idle gossiping around here lately. I know everyone is getting tired and it's almost Christmas, but I still have a business to run." He glowered at her as if he expected her to put up an argument.
"In that case then, I'll collect the mail and make a start," she answered.
"I take it everything's ready for the party next week?"
Jenni took a deep breath, struggling to keep her cool. He knew very well she had prepared everything.
"Of course, I ran everything past you a few weeks ago, I'm sure you remember," she said pointedly. "Now is there anything else or shall I get started?"
He looked as though he was about to try to think of something else, as he scowled at her. She was relieved when the phone rang. With Lorna still not back, Jenni grabbed it like a lifeline.
"Mayer Holdings, may I help you?" She half-turned to lean over the desk to reach for a notepad. She struggled to hear the faint female voice on the line. The woman spoke quietly almost as if she didn't want to be overheard. It was difficult to understand her.