Fizz looked up from the IV line she had put in Cheryl’s arm. ‘How’s the pain now?’ she asked. ‘On that scale of zero to ten?’
‘About a four, I guess. A lot better, anyway.’ But Cheryl was twisting her head sideways. ‘Jenny? Are you sure you’re okay, darling? Nothing hurts?’
‘I got a big scratch, Nana, that’s all. It’s better now.’
‘I can’t believe it happened. There was something wrong with the brakes. I was trying to slow the bus using the gears but the wheel caught the gravel. Oh...’ The sound was a sob. ‘I could have killed someone.’
‘But you didn’t, Mum.’ Her daughter was trying to lean close to comfort her mother but the crying baby in her arms was making it impossible.
‘Here...let me help...’ Fizz took the baby. She cuddled the six-month-old infant against her shoulder and patted its back. ‘Hey...what’s all this fuss about, huh?’
Jenny reached up to pat the baby as well. ‘He’s my little brother,’ she told Fizz. ‘His name’s Patrick.’
Cooper had been splinting Cheryl’s ankle as Fizz had managed the pain relief. Now Andy was helping him to secure their patient on the stretcher, ready to move her to the helicopter. He found himself glancing in Fizz’s direction more than once. The baby had settled in her arms and Jenny was leaning against her legs. Andy was also looking at Fizz as he straightened up after fastening the last safety belt.
‘Suits you.’ He grinned.
Fizz grinned back. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever dealt with so many children in one go. I’m exhausted.’
Baby Patrick’s mother smiled as she took her baby back. ‘Thank you so much. You were wonderful with all the kids. Where will you take Mum?’
‘To the Royal, in Wellington,’ Cooper told her. ‘We can fit you all in if you want to come with her.’
‘No...don’t do that, love,’ Cheryl said. ‘Patrick sounds like he’s hungry. And you need to keep an eye on Jenny. I’ll be fine...’
‘Jenny should get another check-up at your local hospital,’ Cooper told her. ‘Like we’ve advised for all the other children.’
‘I’ll get in as soon as I can, then, Mum. I know you’ll be well looked after with these guys.’
* * *
Finally back at base, after handing Cheryl over to the staff at the Royal’s emergency department, Fizz flopped onto one of the sofas in the staffroom.
Andy sat at the table to open a packet of sandwiches and Cooper went to make coffee.
‘We’ve got a heap of paperwork to get sorted,’ he sighed. ‘A patient report form on every one of those kids.’
‘I’ll ring the hospitals they got taken to, later,’ Fizz said. ‘I’d like to make sure I didn’t miss anything. That was full on, trying to check so many small people.’
‘You did great,’ Andy told her. ‘You’re a natural with kids, Fizz. You’ll make a great mum one of these days.’
‘No, I won’t.’ Fizz made it sound like no big deal. ‘I’m never going to have kids.’
Cooper spooned coffee into mugs. He couldn’t agree more with Andy but he also remembered Fizz’s response to Maggie’s comment that day that her biological clock would start ticking before too long. He could still hear an echo of that dismissive laughter and the declaration that she would simply ignore any ticking of that clock because life was too much fun as it was.
But he’d seen her with that baby in her arms today and he’d seen the way she’d cuddled him and pressed a kiss to his head. Was her determination not to have children herself part and parcel of the same barrier that meant she didn’t ‘do’ relationships?
How sad was that?
And not just for Fizz, Cooper realised as he stirred those mugs of coffee for longer than was necessary. He was aware of a wash of sadness that was far more personal.
Living for the moment was all very well but maybe it wasn’t as perfect as he’d thought such a short time ago. It gave whatever their unlabelled connection was a shelf life, didn’t it? It couldn’t keep going the way it was because it would just morph into a relationship, especially when other people found out about what was going on between them. The question, even if unspoken, of whether or not it was serious or had a future would be hanging over them and Cooper could be quite sure that that would be the point where it stopped being fun for Fizz. When she would move on with no regrets and he would be expected to do the same.
Except that Cooper didn’t want to move on. Maybe he wasn’t ready to settle down and raise a family but he was nowhere near ready to call it quits on the time he got to spend with Fizz.
He carried a mug of coffee over to her and she thanked him with a smile and a glance that held his for a heartbeat. Like that silent communication in the helicopter earlier, it was so easy to read and respond to the message.
We did well today, didn’t we?
We sure did.
We’re just the best team, ever...
Absolutely...
But Cooper couldn’t return that smile. That unexpected flash of sadness he’d just had had become something that felt more like...fear?
Maybe it had only been a matter of weeks but he couldn’t imagine his life without this woman as a central part of it. He knew it was probably a forlorn hope but he didn’t want Fizz to move on.
Ever...
His heart felt like it was squeezing itself into a knot and Cooper had to turn away before that ability to communicate with no words gave Fizz any idea what was going through his head right now.
Not just through his head. The realisation was in his blood. Getting sent to every cell in his body.
He loved her.
He was in love with Fizz.
He had, without doubt, found the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
And the moment she knew that, their time together away from work would be over. There would be no more shared meals or moonlit walks around the waterfront. No more of those delicious hours in her bed and the reminder of how mutual that pleasure was in those private glances the next time they were together. Even working together would be different because that trust she had in him would be broken.
Cooper took his own mug of coffee towards the table, sitting down opposite Andy. He reached for the day’s newspaper that he hadn’t had a chance to look at yet, but the words were no more than a blur as his brain scrambled to find a solution to what was suddenly a very pressing problem.
Then his vision cleared. The answer was quite simple, really.
He just couldn’t let Fizz find out how he felt. He was good at hiding strong emotions. Losing Connor had taught him that because his mother had been unable to cope with her own emotions so he hadn’t been about to make it all so much worse by talking about or revealing his own. As he’d said to Fizz, he’d been pushed away and he’d had many years to hone the skill of hiding. And, yes, part of him knew that he might be making things worse in the long run by staying as close to Fizz as possible for as long as possible, but what choice did he have?
He couldn’t walk away. Not voluntarily, that was for sure. And...maybe, if they could keep this going long enough, Fizz would get used to it. Change her mind, even? She was starting to really trust him, wasn’t she? Maybe she would come to realise that they were perfect life partners. It wasn’t as if he had a desire for his own kids any more than she did. Or even marriage, for that matter.
Cooper just wanted Fizz in his life. And in his bed.
Preferably for ever...
* * *
There was something different about Cooper today but Fizz couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was.
He seemed a bit quieter as they walked around an exclusive outdoor clothing outlet that evening.
‘How ’bout this? A merino blend camisole.’ For thermal underwear it was quite pretty and lacy. ‘Too girly?’
‘Buy it.’
Cooper nodded. His grin was pure cheekiness. ‘That way, when we’re crossing rivers or building shelters in the forest, I can imagine what you’ve got on under all those other layers. It’ll keep me warm with no need for my jacket.’
Oh... That glint in his eyes was enough to make Fizz feel overly warm herself. Suddenly, she wanted to get this shopping expedition over with. To get home and get Cooper into her bed.
But there was still something nagging at the back of her mind when they headed to the checkout counter a little while later. A young couple was in the queue ahead of them and the guy had a baby in his arms about the same age as the baby Fizz had cuddled this morning. The baby was peeping over his father’s shoulder and seemed fascinated by Cooper. It wasn’t until the baby giggled that Fizz glanced sideways and caught the faces Cooper had been making to amuse the infant.
Had that huge job today with the school bus affected him more than she’d realised? Thinking back, Fizz remembered an odd moment, when they’d got back to base and he’d made her a coffee. For just a second, she’d had the impression that he was quite sad about something. Had working with so many children triggered memories of time with his brother, perhaps? Memories could often catch you unawares, sometimes at very inappropriate times. Not that it had happened for Fizz recently, mind you, but she could sympathise.
She also remembered the way he’d been with Harrison when Laura’s young son had broken his wrist.
The thought that this big, gentle man would make the most amazing father was followed by another realisation that almost took Fizz’s breath away.
That’s what Cooper was really searching for, wasn’t it?
He might think he’d come to the other side of the world simply for more adventure and career challenges but he didn’t actually realise what it was he was looking for, did he? He just knew that there was something missing from his life.
He’d said that there was nothing left for him in Scotland now because his family was all gone. But he needed a family of his own, didn’t he? A wife who would adore him as the rock in her life. Children that he could protect and keep safe to his heart’s content.
Except that he blamed himself, at some level, for his brother’s death, didn’t he? There was a barrier there that he probably wasn’t even aware of because the men she’d known hadn’t usually tried to analyse that kind of thing, so she couldn’t help but wonder if the same could be said of Cooper.
Fizz couldn’t share that desire. For her, children were the ultimate planning for the future. Even before they were born, they brought with them so many hopes and dreams for the years to come. The promise of family and for ever. The promise that Hamish had given her and that she’d believed. But it had been a promise that had died along with the man who’d made it. You could only keep yourself safe from heartbreak if you didn’t buy into hopes and dreams like that.
But perhaps she could help Cooper.
And why wouldn’t she? He was just the loveliest man she had ever met and, hopefully, when their time together had run its course, she would still have a friend for life—one that she already cared about a great deal. Cooper was not just gorgeous, he was clever and kind and...pretty close to perfect, really. He deserved to have everything good that life had to offer, especially after having lived through the worst that it could also offer.
He’d said he’d never had a serious relationship because he’d moved around so much but Fizz suspected that it was because he didn’t want to get that close to someone when he knew what it was like to lose them. She got it. More than anyone else could, probably. Fizz was content with her own decision to not have a family in her future but she understood now—in this moment of insight—that there was a real need, deep down, for Cooper to love and be loved. Somehow, he needed to break through the barrier that was holding him back. To find the courage to take that leap of faith in the future.
But how could she help him?
She put her purchases down to have them scanned and picked up the shop’s catalogue. There was a montage of pictures on the cover that must have been shot around Queenstown. Climbers modelled all sorts of gear in front of a mountain range. There were kayakers being thrown around in some impressive white water and even a shot of a tandem bungee jump off a bridge over a gorge.
And that could be the key, Fizz decided.
Was part of the barrier Cooper had between himself and the future he deserved tied in with his over-zealous attention to the safety of others? What if she could show him that it was possible to take a risk, purely for the enjoyment of the adrenaline rush? That the world didn’t necessarily fall apart. Even if it didn’t totally break through that barrier, it would be a good start, wouldn’t it? A physical push that could lead to emotional freedom?
Fizz handed over her credit card and turned to grin at Cooper as he stood waiting for her.
‘I can’t wait to get to use this clothing,’ she told him. ‘Queenstown, here we come...’
CHAPTER NINE
LIFE JUST DIDN’T get much better than this.
Fizz had the window seat on the plane that was coming in to land at Queenstown’s airport so Cooper had to lean close enough to catch the scent of her skin in order to soak in the view of impressively craggy mountain ranges against an endless blue sky reflected in the huge lake beneath.
For a moment, the sight of mountains did what they always did and caught at Cooper’s heart with a memory of his brother, but it wasn’t a painful reminder. If anything, the remembered flash of excitement in his twin’s eyes that had always lit up with the challenge of a steep track or some rocks to scramble over was simply added to his own anticipation of this weekend’s training course.
There were interesting subjects to be covered and Cooper was keen to learn new skills in tracking and being able to recognise the smallest clues or signs that someone had gone through an area. The refresher course in search methods and the psychological aspects of the kinds of behaviour that lost people could demonstrate would be useful and the day outdoors in the back country was even more exciting. They would be practising bushcraft and survival skills like river crossing and would even create and then sleep in an emergency shelter.
It was exactly the kind of weekend that Cooper loved more than any other because it combined his thirst for new knowledge and challenges with his passion for being prepared to help anybody in any situation. He would happily take on the role of in-house training for other members of the team at the Aratika Rescue Base and he was hoping to find an active search and rescue team in the Wellington area so he could make himself available to help whenever possible.
Best of all, he was in the company of a person who shared his passion. Maybe Fizz had different reasons for being here and her desire to learn more about search and rescue was largely due to her love of adrenaline-producing situations, but right now the motivation was irrelevant. Cooper was already addicted to being in the company of this woman who could make him feel so alive, and they were going to be sharing something new and exhilarating in the next couple of days that could only bring them closer.
If circumstances conspired to bring Fizz a little closer, would she realise how perfect they were for each other and change her mind about allowing a true relationship into her life?
Fall in love with him, even?
She certainly seemed to be delighted to be with him and it had been her idea to come south a day early when they discovered that their rosters made it possible.
‘We’ll go and have a bit of fun,’ she’d suggested. ‘I’ll find an adrenaline rush for you that you won’t be able to resist.’
Fizz almost had her forehead pressed against the window as she stared down at the extraordinary landscape beneath the plane. A bump of turbulence distracted her and she turned to catch Cooper’s gaze for a heartbeat. Instantly, her face came alive with her smile and the sparkle in her eyes.
‘Gorgeous, yes?’
‘Oh, yeah...’ But Cooper kept watching Fizz as she turned back to make the most of the view as the plane descended.
He was thinking back to their conversation about this high country and mountain rescue training weekend, so many weeks ago, when they’d gone out to dinner the night Harrison had broken his arm. When he’d told her that it might be a good thing for her to have to learn a few safety rules. When she had told him that a bit of adventure tourism might be good for him.
Would it impress her if he did embrace some adventure? Prove that he wasn’t overly safety-conscious because he disapproved of chasing that adrenaline rush? Maybe it would make a real difference to show Fizz that he really did understand the forces that were so much a part of her life and that he was prepared to share them. That this didn’t have to be simply a weekend of adventure together. It could, in fact, be the beginning of a lifetime of adventures.
Cooper sat back in his seat and tightened his seat belt as the turbulence increased. When Fizz caught his hand to hold it he wondered if the rough air was bothering her but then she gave his hand a squeeze and he caught her grin. She was loving every moment of this ride, probably more so because of the turbulence.
He was going to make the most of every moment as well, Cooper decided, and he was definitely up for whatever kind of fun Fizz was planning to challenge him with for the rest of the day. Zip-lining, skydiving, white-water rafting—he wasn’t going to point out any dangers in these extreme forms of pleasure seeking. He also wasn’t going to think about the possibility of their connection ending any time soon because it was no longer fun for Fizz.
Cooper was going to make sure she’d never had so much fun in her life.
* * *
The wall of pamphlets in the tourism office made the choice overwhelming.
They’d picked up a rental car, left their bags at their motel near the location of the course venue and then they’d come straight into town so that they could squeeze as much as possible into this day of freedom before the course started tomorrow, and Fizz was on a mission.
Resisting Her Rescue Doc Page 12