The Soul Seekers

by Amy Saia

  “No, I’m not afraid.”

  “What then?” He was almost purring, using everything he had to draw me in with his eyes, his voice.

  “I don’t know. Look Jesse, I’m tired. How about we call it a night so I can get some rest? We can talk tomorrow, all right?”

  “Yeah, sure.” He grabbed my hand and held it up, entwining his fingers with mine just like he had that afternoon. “Only, wouldn’t it be nice to go out tonight and talk about this? You can sleep in the car if you’re tired. I’d kind of like to go up to the bluffs again, you know, to hang out for a while.”

  The bluffs.

  I started to pull my hand away, but felt his fingers tightening, holding it there. “Gosh, I don’t know. Maybe tomorrow night, okay?”

  “We can’t go tomorrow. I have a gig, remember?”

  “Oh, right.”

  “Well then, come on.”

  Big pause. This is where a weaker person would give in. “No.” I pulled my hand away. “Honest. I need some sleep. You probably should practice anyway, for the gig.” I smiled for effect.

  Sticking both hands in his back pockets, he said, “Yeah, you’re right. Will you come to the show? It starts at nine. You can’t leave town until you hear me sing.”

  “Sure. I’ll be there.”

  He turned away for a second, then turned back, causing his brown hair to swing under the setting sun in chocolate waves. “Oh, I almost forgot. Make sure you bring the coin. I found someone who wants to give us a wicked deal. Okay?”

  I nodded, feeling a wave of sickness pass through my stomach, like the first time we’d met. “Okay.”

  Jesse spun on his heel, heading for that shiny black car with the two S’s on it. I watched as he drove away, leaving me feeling like a stranger in a bus station, with no ticket and no idea of where to go.

  8: Cult

  I took a much longer shower than usual, scrubbing my hair until it was sticking up with lather. The woman on the Breck bottle had miles upon miles of shiny, brunette curling hair—sickening. I’d be happy if mine had just a little curl and no weird frizz underneath.

  It was the same color as Dad’s: wheat, with a hint of strawberry mixed in.

  I slipped on the long, beaded earrings Dad gave to me on my sixteenth birthday and stood in front of the mirror. My brown, slightly tilted eyes were weary behind their soft black, curling lashes. Tonight was the night. I’d leave Springvale for good.

  The coin. I walked over and scooped it off the dresser into my palm. The shock it gave reminded me of the task ahead. Problem was, I didn’t know who to trust anymore. Jesse was cool, but I figured he was just another person who would betray me. William’s games hurt me so deep I couldn’t bear to think about him. He had me so confused I was imagining crazy things.

  I’d give Jesse the coin and hitchhike out of town.

  ¤ ¤ ¤

  I walked up the hill, slowing my pace after coming up against the outside ridge of the crowd. The sun cooked on my neck, sweat ran down my back—my mouth ran dry. Where was Jesse?

  Seeing a concession stand to the right, I stumbled over to order a soda, taking a long sip. A cool breeze washed over the wet skin on the back of my neck, sending a flash freeze down my spine. I managed to walk a few steps when I heard a quiet voice behind me. “Are you frightened?”

  “No.”

  “You ran from me yesterday. There’s nothing to be afraid of, not really.”

  I lowered the soda to the ground with shaking hands. “I’m not afraid.”

  There was a slight pause before he spoke again. “Aren’t you going to turn around and look at me?”

  I did. Slow.

  He smiled, a big beautiful smile. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this,” he said.

  I was completely shook up, and here he was smiling away. About to say something evil, I cut short when he stepped forward and made my brain go numb.

  “I hope you don’t mind if I just. . . .”

  Without finishing, he took a staggering breath and reached up to touch my face with trepidation. His fingers moved delicate and slow, starting with the line of my chin, then upward, leaving a trail of cold electricity with every caress.

  I closed my eyes and was once again in the gazebo, paralyzed in a beautiful spell. His fingers made their way across every part of my face: my eyelids, my cheekbones, the tip of my nose, the faint dimple in my left cheek, stopping with a slow trail down the curve of my neck. When I felt him pull away, I opened my eyes.

  He whispered, “Thank you. You can go now if you wish.”

  “I-I can go?”

  “Yes. I shouldn’t have touched you like that, but I couldn’t help myself.” His expression was wistful, melancholy.

  What was I to think of a boy who acted like that? I hated him and I loved him. Most of all I wanted him to kiss me the way I’d always dreamed of.

  I adjusted my purse strap. “You know, you can’t just touch someone like that. You have to explain.”

  “You’re right.” William looked remorseful.

  “Yeah. I mean, there are rules, you know . . . between people.”

  “People,” he whispered, rubbing a hand through his hair. “I can’t remember what it feels like. I’ve forgotten how it works.”

  “Why do you keep saying weird things like that? You’re not making any sense.”

  I gave him an angry glance, which was soon broken up by a loud throng of people passing between us. “Nothing makes any sense—not this town, or the stupid coin I found, or you. None of it makes sense. That’s why I’m leaving.”

  “Coin,” he whispered, his eyes opening in a sudden cognizance. “You’re the one who has it.”

  “Yeah, I sure am.” I heard the sound of an electric guitar being tuned up on stage. “Which reminds me, I have something to do.”

  William reached out as I moved forward. “No wonder Marcus has been after me so much lately. It’s obvious now.”

  “Marcus?” I knew that name. I would never forget the day those men bullied him in the library. “Isn’t he part of that church?”

  “Yes.” He gently touched my shoulder. “You are in a lot of danger right now.”

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “It’s a matter of protection. I can’t let you stay.”

  William drew in a breath and released a low curse. His cold fingers grasped my arm. “He’s right behind us.”

  I couldn’t help it; like a child I turned to peek. At first I saw nothing and was about to jerk away to leave; but then a dark figure became apparent through a moving swarm of people: a flash of black heading for me. The rest of them stood by the bandstand, pretending not to look, but being obvious in their careful, shrouded movements. Instant panic set in, and I clutched at my purse.

  “Fear is a good response. You’re a smart girl. Now if you’re really smart you’ll get the hell out of here right now.”

  I was staring too long and had caught Marcus’ attention. I couldn’t move. With a dry swallow I watched as he came forward, walking slowly, like a hunter approaching a deer in a field. I realized, suddenly, that I was the deer.

  “Run, Emma,” William’s voice whispered beside me.

  I couldn’t.

  “Run, Emma!”

  I sprinted across the lawn, William next to me, matching my stride. We raced through the crowd, past the post office, and made our way to a row of parked cars along the alley beside Maggie’s Cafe. He found an unlocked van and threw the side door open, commanding me to get in fast. I did, scrambling back as he jumped in and slammed the door, hitting each lock in seconds flat. “Don’t speak!”

  A lone step sounded in the street, skidding on pavement. It moved around the vehicle body, paused then moved to the other cars.<
br />
  With a hesitant crane of the neck, I looked up through the dark tinted windows and almost let out a scream when a pair of horn-rimmed eyes peeked in. They seemed inhuman—phantom, not real. William squeezed me close to his body and reached to cover my mouth, causing a painful current to snap against my lips. It was stupid, but I gasped.

  “Wait,” he whispered.

  I could hear them. I could hear muffled speech and foot shuffles outside the van.

  “What do they want from us?” I muttered through his ice-cold fingers. William issued a quiet apology and slid them away, causing warmth to spread through my skin. I felt too comfortable in his hold, entranced by the motion of his chest expanding and falling with each steady breath he took.

  “Hold on,” he said. His expression changed as he listened to the men’s conversation. “They’re deciding,” he whispered at last.

  “On what?”

  “Whether it’s worth creating commotion when they know they’ll get what they want in the end.”

  We heard a voice. “Bennett.” Pause. “We don’t need to chase anyone. It’s set.”

  I felt his arms stiffen and heard a terse breath being drawn in. We heard footsteps move away from the van and across the street, softening to the thud of grass and then disappearing altogether.

  William grabbed my shoulders and turned my body to face his. “You have to hide that coin! It’s very important, do you hear me? They’ll take you next, after they’re done with me. The eclipse is coming.”

  He shook me when I failed to reply. “You don’t know what that means, and I don’t want you involved. Hide that coin and get back to your innocent life, the one you had before you made the mistake of meeting me.”

  “Who are you?”

  William smiled in a wretched way. “I am their most prized member. I’m worth more to them than any human on this earth, and you’ve stepped into a dangerous game, Emma Shay. Welcome to the cult.”

  9: Night

  “Yeah. Well. I have something to do, if you’ll excuse me.”

  William held me in place, sending another frosty shock through my arm.

  “Do you have a bag of ice in your pocket? Because your hands are extremely cold.” I flipped the lock and opened the side door.

  “Wait, Emma.”

  A tingle went up my spine at the sound of my name on his lips. “Yes?”

  “I can see you don’t want to believe me, but if you’ll just do me a favor and try to stay away from those guys.” William let out a sigh. “And get rid of that coin, okay?”

  “Okay,” I replied with sarcastic emphasis. “Is that it?”

  Running a hand through his tousled hair, he said, “Yes, I suppose it’ll have to be.”

  I lingered at the door, one foot already out on the hot pavement. He was really going for it, playing every emotion. It was still working on me, pulling me in. Our eyes met again, his blue, burning like a neon light.

  “Can I ask you a question?” I asked, still lingering.

  “Go ahead.”

  “Why did you do it? Didn’t you think it would hurt me? Didn’t you care?”

  I thought about the night under the gazebo and felt embarrassment, remembering the things I’d said.

  His voice was strained. “You’re the last person on earth I would hurt. You can believe that.”

  I raised my chin. “I’m leaving, you know. Maybe in a few days. So, you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

  “I’m glad you’re leaving.”

  “You are?”

  “Yes,” William replied, coming closer, pushing me out the door as he stepped down onto the street. “You’ll be safe.”

  “Safe?” I turned then. “Nothing’s ever safe. Life isn’t like that.”

  “How right you are.”

  I heard a song start up across the street and thought of Jesse. If he asked me to leave with him again, I’d say yes.

  “Well, I have to go.”

  “Emma.”

  I allowed my eyes to meet his again. “Yes?”

  “If you leave, I want you to go remembering one thing.”

  “And that is?”

  “That you have a gift. This whole summer I felt it radiating from you—the special deepness of intuition. How I missed you being able to see me, I’ll never know. You have something special. After being stuck in this town for twenty years with nothing better to do than watch people, I’ve seen a lot of evil, mundane cruelty. But you, you’re truly beautiful.”

  “Please, just stop already. Just leave me alone.” I felt the tears forming. Damn. Damn. Damn. I tried to jerk away when he grabbed my arm again, but it was too late. The shock ran through my skin and pulsed in a series of currents. Just like the coin.

  “Yes, you see I’m not normal. Things like that wouldn’t happen if I was.”

  “I don’t know what you mean,” I whispered, and bit down hard on my lip.

  William wasn’t making any sense, as usual, and I didn’t like the strange things that were happening to me, that were entering my brain.

  His voice was full of a reticent sadness. “You do understand, don’t you? I can see that you do. It’s been so long. You don’t know how many times I’ve wished for it to happen, that someone could set me free from this oblivion.”

  “No.”

  “To have skin that could be touched. To be heard, seen.”

  “Stop,” I breathed, eyes shut tight. “I don’t believe any of this.”

  “It’s true, Emma. I’ve been like this for many years; longer than you’ve been alive. I’m angry with myself because I was selfish and dreamed that it would be you who found me. Why the hell did it have to be you?”

  There was nothing I could say. Our faces were bathed in shadows, the sun almost completely gone. His skin began to turn translucent.

  “It’s happening again.”

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “The sun goes down and I become sucked into night. Someday, I’ll be gone for good.” William looked frightened.

  I blinked hard, unable to clear up the blurring line that had begun to affect every edge of his body. The top of his head—that dark hair—faded soft, then his face, his eyes. It all washed away, like an hourglass draining, disappearing into nothingness as the last bit of daylight melded into night with a dark purple hue.

  The vice-like grip was gone. He was gone.

  I was alone.

  I stumbled and reached out to the van, trying to regulate my breathing. It must be something else, something I ate or drank. Smoothing my hair, I closed the van door and made my way across the street to the square. None of this had happened. It was the soda.

  Jesse had taken the stage, black leather jacket and all, illuminated from behind by electric amber lights. When he saw me approach—cutting through the crowd—he smiled and took one hand off his guitar to wave. I waved back.

  “I’m going to dedicate this next song to my golden-haired friend, Emma. It’s gonna be okay, babe.”

  Looking up, I caught his smile and smiled back. Maybe Jesse could help me after all. Yes, the more I thought about it, Jesse was the right person to turn to. He . . . he . . .

  Something was wrong. My thoughts were overwhelming and confusing. I felt dizzy and sick. My hands clutched at the stage as I fell on rubbery, unsteady legs. I took one last look at Jesse’s concerned face before everything went black.

  ¤ ¤ ¤

  When I came to, Jesse was carrying me in his arms.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “You fainted.”

  “How did I do that?”

  “The heat maybe. You’re pretty pale right now.”

  I tried to wiggle out of his arms, but he held tight. I noticed a
little vein throbbing in the side of his neck. “Am I heavy?”

  “No. Yes. You’re heavier than a guitar, let’s just say that.”

  Good old Jesse.

  Shifting his weight, he opened the passenger side door of the Camaro and put me down. “Here we are.”

  Jesse waited for me to climb in then shut the door behind, jumping the hood like Luke Duke to get to the driver’s side. When he slipped in his seat I thought about the concert. “Aren’t you supposed to finish your set?”

  “Yeah. It kind of sucks, but it would suck more to have some other dude scoop you up and take you home.”

  I pleaded with my eyes. Don’t take me home. Take me far away from this town.

  He seemed to understand. “Emma.”

  “Jesse, why did you take me up to the bluffs that first night?”

  “Because I wanted to get to know you, honest—”

  “Why do you want the coin so bad? You can have it, you know.” I dug in my purse, but it was missing. “Hold on, it’s in here somewhere.”

  “I don’t care about the coin.”

  I kept searching, growing frustrated with the absence of an object that had caused more trouble than it could ever be worth. I reached up to click on the overhead light.

  “Emma.”

  I took out the wallet and ran my hands along the bottom of my purse, cursing.

  “Emma!”

  “What?”

  “Forget the coin, will you?”

  “Sure.” I dropped the billfold. The coin couldn’t just disappear like that. What if it fell into the wrong hands?

  “Anything the matter?”

  “No. Only, do you mind if I go take care of something real quick?” It must have fallen out in the van. I’d go back there, get it, and everything would be fine.

  “Yeah, I mind a lot. We need to talk.”

  “Just a second.”

  I threw open the door and rushed across the parking lot, ignoring Jesse’s yell behind me. “You just fainted!”