I shake my head and rap my knuckles across the glass tabletop; no she won’t. It doesn’t change a damn thing about who I am. I know it and she knows it.
But I’m the boss’ son. He tried to keep me out of the life, but I demanded my way in. You can’t leave the family. Sure as fuck not when you’re the boss’ son. My chest hurts just thinking that. I’ll never be the kind of man Becca deserves. I was born into the mob. There’s only one way out and I’m not ready to die.
A knock at the door distracts me from my morbid thoughts. I sigh and click my phone on. 10 AM. Too fucking early. This day needs to get going so I can get home. I’ll figure out why I want to be there when the time comes. I just don’t want to be here.
Johnny opens the door and my Pop’s voice booms through the hall.
“Johnny!” I raise my eyes to watch although I don’t lift my head. Pops pats him on the back and gives him a warm smile. But it’s off. He’s waiting to hear about Clara. I know he is. Something’s going on between the two of them. Not my business though. Not unless he hurts her. Then I’ll make it my business.
“Good to see you boss.” Johnny makes eye contact and returns the smile. Ballsy. Johnny is most certainly ballsy. He’s been a friend of mine for years and I sure as shit couldn’t do this business without him. But I don’t like that he’s sneaking around with my sister. And I sure as shit know that Pop’s doesn’t like it. He better give it up soon and put a ring on her finger.
“Hey Pops.” I lean back in my seat and then stand to greet him. “Didn’t know you were coming.”
We share a quick hug and I motion to the liquor, but he shakes his head.
He takes a casual seat on the sofa and I relax in the spot next to him. He’s come here a few times, usually because we’re meeting up for a family event… or a family event. But I know about it ahead of time.
“What’s going on, Pops?”
“I just wanted to make sure you’re doing alright.” He looks me in the eyes and I almost look away. I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees and set my chin on my clasped hands. I take a moment to answer him. I don’t know what to tell him. I’m not okay.
I settle on what I hope is the truth. “I’ll be alright.”
“That was intense Dom. Never seen you like that.” I gaze at the floor and take a deep breath in and a long exhale.
“Yeah, well.” What’s he want me to say? My memory flashes back to a few nights ago, to my fists beating the piss out of them. They were tied down when I got there. Just like they tied her down. I saved the one with the dragon tattoo for last. I wanted to make sure he knew what was coming. I wanted him to watch the rest of them die. De Luca was second to last. No one gave a fuck that I took the lead.
I needed to. I had to. For her.
“Sean went to see her the other night. Rebecca.” Hearing her name brings me back to the present.
“It’s Becca. And I know.” His brows raise in surprise and his lips turn down.
“She called you?” he asks.
“No, I went over there. Just to tell her she was safe.” My gut churns and my heart freezes in my chest. I wanted to go up there and talk to her, to convince her to just give it a chance. But I’d be a fucking asshole to do that to her and Jax. They deserve better. So I stayed in my car. Thinking about what a prick I am for wanting her. “I saw him walk up and waited.”
“Well what’d she tell you about it?” Pops leans into me.
I shake my head. “Nothing.” I swallow the lump in my throat and lick my lips before sitting back in my seat. “I didn’t talk to her.”
“Ah.” Pops looks to the left at Johnny and then sighs. “Well,” he turns back to me, “she didn’t giveaway anything. So she’s cleared. I told Jack to back off.”
“What the fuck is Jack saying now?” My blood heats and anger stirs inside of me hearing that shit. Back off? He better fucking back off.
“Nothing, Dom.” Pops puts his hand on my shoulder. “He’s just paranoid as fuck. He’s happy now.”
I search his eyes and nod. “He better be fucking happy. She may never be mine to claim, but she’s off limits.”
“I don’t understand, Dom.” He lowers his voice and looks at me with a sad expression. “Is it cause she’s got a kid? He’s a good little guy and he’s-”
I rear my head back to look at him. “That’s not it. That’s not it at all.”
“I don’t get it Dom. What the hell’s a matter with you?” It’s been a while since my father has talked to me that way.
I chew on the inside of my lip not wanting to say it, but he asked. And he’s the boss. “She’s got to protect her son. She can’t be messing around with me.”
“I didn’t say anything about messing around Dom. I saw the way you two looked at each other. What you did for her. I know what she means to you. And you’re just going to let her go?”
“I have to. She can’t live this kind of life.” I wave my hand in the air and sit back with a heavy weight on my chest. My hand runs down my face.
“Then give it up. If you think she’s worth it.”
“Give up the familia?” I can’t believe what he’s saying.
He purses his lips and sucks in a deep breath. “That’s not what I meant. Get outa this here. Lay low. Get a boring ass day job with your degree. Do what you gotta do.”
“Do what I gotta do?” I swallow hard. I don’t like subtleties. I’d rather be smacked hard in the face with a blunt answer.
“I can’t tell you anymore than that son. I will say Sunday dinner will always be at our house with the family.”
“What’s that have to do with anything?”
“Just make sure she knows that’s a condition. The only condition.” The only condition. I stare at my Pops for a moment.
He gives me a smile and rises, fixing his suit jacket. “Your Ma liked her. That’s a huge victory there.”
“I don’t think it’s as easy as you think, Pops.” I stand up and give him a quick hug with a firm grip.
“If you want her to be yours then you take her; what’s so hard about that?” He smirks at me and then turns his back and leaves.
I watch the door close shut; if only it could really be that easy.
Becca
The dishes in the large steel sink crash together and it draws my eyes up to the bus boy. He’s new. His arms are skinny as twigs. His eyes dart to mine and then back to the dishes.
“Break any?” I ask light heartedly to put him at ease. I try to muster up a smile, but I can’t.
“Don’t think so.” He pulls them out carefully, one by one.
At least it wasn’t at the bar. That would’ve been a pain in the ass. Like yesterday. I close my eyes and breathe in deep. I wish I still had Vicky here. She was one of the managers Dom put in charge while I was “recovering from a fall.” I roll my eyes and rub my shoulder as I walk out of the kitchen to the back room. I had to dump her though. I didn’t trust her or the others. I felt like they were always watching me. Like they were going to report back to him.
Just thinking about him has my chest tightening with pain. I haven’t heard a word. Nothing. Tears prick my eyes. I know I didn’t want it, well I didn’t want to want it. But fuck I do want him. I shake my head and try to calm myself down. My throat seems to close up every time I think about him. It physically hurts me. I can’t explain it. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I lean against the wall of my office and lay my head against the wall. I can’t fucking breathe in here.
After a moment I push open the door to go outside. It groans and the bright light makes my eyes squint. But at least it’s fresh air. Or as fresh as it can be for a tiny ass alley between my restaurant and the gallery next door. I prop the door open with a brick and take a seat on the crates a few feet down, closer to the empty street and away from the dumpsters.
I wish I was over this by now. Over him. Everything seems so much harder since I left him. Exhaustion weighs down on me. But it’s not just physical, I’m em
otionally overwhelmed.
“You alright, doll?” My body jumps at the sound of a deep, masculine voice in the silent alley. A small scream of shock forces its way out of my mouth and my hands fly up to hold it in. Dom. He walks towards me down the alley with a sexy ass smirk on his face.
My heart swells in my chest and the tears flow. I can’t hold them back. Fuck my hormones. Fuck my emotions. I don’t care.
He takes another step towards me and I fall into his embrace. My body feels weak; my wretched heart hurts. “Don’t cry, doll.” His strong arms hold me tight and I want to pretend I can have this forever. Just the thought combined with his masculine smell and his soothing strokes on my back has my heart beating calmly and my body relaxing. It feels so right, so natural.
This is what I’ve needed.
“What’s wrong?” He pulls back slightly to look down at me. I don’t even lift my head; I keep my chin firmly against his chest and just breathe. My fingers dig into his back, holding him to me, but also fearing he’s going to leave. I’ve never felt so weak and vulnerable. I don’t know why I can’t stop, but I just don’t want to let go.
I shake my head against his chest and press my lips together. After a long moment, I answer, “You shouldn’t be here.”
“I want you, Becca.” I finally pull away and stare into his eyes. I want him too, but I can’t.
“You know I can’t.” I whisper the words. I know he understands. He has to understand.
“But you want to. I can make it right, doll. I’m just asking for a chance.”
I want to. He’s right about that. My breathing shallows. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. A chance. Just one chance. Could I risk that?
“Let’s make a bet.” He says with a grin.
I snort, “I’m not stupid; you’re a bookie.”
“It can be anything you want babe.” His smile softens and he kisses my lips tenderly. “Just bet me.” His lips barely touch mine.
“What do you get if you win?” I ask him with clear hesitation in my voice.
His hand travels to my ass and squeezes, “you know what I want.” I repress my moan and try to ignore how my core heats at his playful touch. I shake my head and bite down on my bottom lip to restrain my smile.
“Well what do I get if I win?” I finally ask, looking up at him through my thick lashes.
My voice is breathy and I wish it wasn’t. I wish I wasn’t so desperate for his comfort, but I am.
Dom’s hand cups my chin and his thumb runs along my bottom lip. His body brushes against mine as he takes a step forward, backing me into the brick wall. “Exactly what you want.” My hands go to his chest and I push him back slightly.
“Not here.” I whisper into his mouth as his hands push my blouse up my waist. The cool air feels so wrong against my heated skin.
“You don’t want me to fuck you against this wall doll?” My pussy clenches with need and moisture gathers in my core. Fuck yes I want it. “I need you babe; it’s been too long since I’ve had my dirty girl.”
“I can’t.” I tilt my neck farther as he kisses down my throat to my shoulder. This is so bad; so wrong. But I want it. His breath, his kisses, his touch; it’s everything I want. I want him to take me however he wants whenever he wants. I want my back to scrape against the hard brick as he pounds into me. I can picture it so clearly. His hips keep me pinned with his hard-as-steel erection digging into my belly.
And then he stops. I nearly fall over from the loss of his touch. My body tilts forward and I stumble in my heels and barely catch my footing. I hear Dom’s hard steps on the pavement, his body slamming into something. Another man. I hear them barrel into the wall and fall hard on the ground. Fuck! Someone saw us! Shit, shit, shit.
I adjust my shirt and try to see what’s going on. What the fuck is going on? I try to catch my breath.
“Dom stop!” I yell out as I watch him push the man down on his stomach and twists his arm to the back. I don’t know him. No one fucking comes out here. My body heats with anxiety.
Dom grips his arm and shoves it in an unnatural way. The man’s face distorts with pain. Holy fuck! Fuck he’s really hurting him. “Stop!” I screech with a hoarse voice. My hands cover my mouth when I spot the gun falling from the stranger’s grasp. Then I see what he’s wearing, leather gloves, all black. A gun complete with a silencer. My heart drops to my gut. He was going to shoot Dom. My body goes cold and numb.
My feet naturally take a step back and my body bumps into the brick wall. I can’t turn away. I can’t stop watching. I feel paralyzed as Dom relentlessly smashes the man’s face into the concrete. The crushing sound of his bones crashing against the unforgiving ground makes me sick to my stomach. Oh my god. My breathing comes in short, shallow pants. I can’t. I can’t watch this.
“Not you! Wasn’t you!” The man tries to speak. His face is distorted, covered in dark red with more blood bubbling from his busted lips.
“Who. Tell me who.” Dom speaks hard and low into the man’s ears, but I hear it as though he screamed it.
“The girl.” The girl. Me.
“Who hired you?” Dom asks. My head goes dizzy watching the scene play out.
“Jack.” The man’s head sways and then he takes in a hiss of breath as Dom pulls his arm back further. And then, not a bang, not anything violent, Dom lifts the gun to the back of his head and the man falls forward, the raw bullet hole open and spilling blood onto the pavement.
My vision flashes before my eyes over and over again. No sound. No warning. He was alive and now he’s dead.
My eyes widen as I watch Dom shove the man behind the dumpster. There’s blood everywhere. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. Time passes in slow motion. It doesn’t feel real. This can’t be real.
The bang of the thin metal walls of the dumpster brings me back from the haze.
He’s dead. I stare at the limp body. He was going to kill me. But Dom killed him first.
My throat closes and I struggle to breathe. “What are we going to do?” My voice croaks. He’s dead. Dom just shot him. “It was in self-defense.” My voice raises, “you were only defending me!”
“Hush, doll.” Dom walks to me with ease, gripping both of my arms at my side. “You don’t have to worry about anything. The next person who comes down this alley will be my clean up crew. I already sent them a message.”
What the fuck? I’m shaken and on edge. My body shivers as though I’m freezing. This is why we can’t be together. But if he hadn’t been there. My shaking hands cover my mouth. I would’ve died. I cry into my hands and barely realize Dom’s dragging me away.
Dom
That mother fucker! He’s dead. And if they knew. If any of them knew. They’re all fucking dead. I should’ve known better. My heart’s still beating frantically in my chest. My blood’s pumping with rage, but more than that, fear.
What if I hadn’t been there? I was going to wait till she was done with work, till she’d put Jax to bed. I didn’t want to risk her getting so damn worked up over me until she was alone. But then I saw her. I just had to go to her.
She was going through the motions; that’s all. Her beautiful plump lips never turned up into her gorgeous smile. Every time her head fell in the slightest I swore she was crying. How could I not go to her knowing how hurt she was?
And it’s a good fucking thing I did.
My hands grip the steering wheel, making my knuckles turn white. He was going to kill her. He didn’t even fucking know her. A kill for pay. I saw him over her shoulder. Waiting. I fucking know who that bastard is, JD. He never asks questions, just gets the job done. He’s not family; he’s a hire out.
Well now he’s fucking dead.
My body tingles and then heats. I need to beat the piss out of something. Like I did De Luca and his crew. I need to do that to Jack. He’s probably at the bistro with my father.
Sitting together. Maybe my father knew. My heart crumples in agony and I shake my head slightly in denial. My eye
s peek at Becca, she didn’t notice. I don’t want her to know how fucked up I am over this. That’s not the way it’s supposed to work.
My poor doll is staring out of the window wide eyed. She hasn’t fucking moved. Hasn’t said a word. I wish she hadn’t heard that, that she was the one he was supposed to kill. I wish she didn’t know. It fucking kills me.
I grab my phone and dial my father. I can’t wait to ask. I need to know. I have to know right fucking now. The thought that he’d do that kills me. I just saw him yesterday. I don’t understand why he’d do this to me. I shake my head again harder as the phone rings and this time she sees. Her eyes are wide with worry.
“It’s gonna be alright babe.” I breathe in deep and give her a forced smile. Her eyes fall and she rests her head against the head rest, seeming to stare at nothing. Her lack of a response worries me.
“Dom. What’s going on?” Pops answers like it’s a normal call.
“You alone?” I want to make sure there’s no one around to hear. Just in case. I don’t want Jack to know I’m coming.
Pops talks over the phone to someone and the line is muffled for a moment and then he comes back on, “All clear, Dom. What’s going on?”
I swallow the lump in my throat and push the words through, “did you know?” That’s really what it comes down to. It’s what I need to know.
I hear Pops move on the other line and then he speaks lower. “Dom, what’s wrong? Where are you?” I stay silent for a moment and take in another deep breath. “You alright Dom? You need something?”
“Did you know about the time on her?” Time is code for hit. The code varies, but right now that’s what it means. His questions and his tone make me believe he didn’t, but I want to hear him say it. I look at Becca with sad eyes, she’s confused for a moment and then tears fall down her cheeks and she quickly wipes them away. I know she understands.
Dirty Dom: Valetti Crime Family (A Bad Boy Mafia Romance) Page 15