5.331 Miles: (Friends to lovers, second-chance romance)

by Willow Aster

  “Like the two of you haven’t said it plenty—am I right, Bells?” he said, pointing to our mums.

  Their shoulders started shaking and Anne tsked a bit more, but all was forgiven.

  Conversation was light the rest of the meal. We mostly laughed at our mums—they were endless entertainment when they got together.

  “Are you still liking your job, Mira?” Charles asked.

  “I love it,” I said, smiling at him.

  “You hoping to own your own salon one day?”

  “That’s a possibility. I’ll probably focus more on being a freelance makeup artist.” I looked down, shy now that all the attention was on me. “It’d be fun to work on films, or I might just stick with weddings. They pay well. And I could be a lot busier than I am with that.”

  “Just make sure you go to college—a business degree will help you, no matter what you decide,” he said.

  Jaxson rolled his eyes. “Here we go,” he whispered. Then louder, “Want to go to my room, hang out for a while? Or we could go out by the pool…”

  “Sure.”

  We took our dishes to the kitchen and went to his room.

  “It’s been a long time since I’ve been in here. Looks a lot different,” I said.

  “We redid it two years ago,” he said, picking up his laptop. “We could watch a movie…”

  “Okay.” I didn’t know where to sit exactly, and it was weird being alone with him…I hadn’t been alone with him since we’d kissed.

  “I don’t really have chairs, sorry.” He sat on his bed and leaned against the headboard. “Is this okay?”

  I nodded and sat beside him. I didn’t want to put my boots on his bed, so I unzipped them and pulled them off.

  “Those boots are the sexiest things I’ve ever seen,” he said.

  I flushed. “Badass,” I corrected.

  “That too,” he agreed.

  He turned on a show and we looked at the screen. I couldn’t focus on anything but how close Jaxson and I were sitting, the air popping with awareness between the two of us.

  “Are you and Heather really broken up or are you just acting like it to make her parents happy?” I asked, my skin getting hotter with every word.

  “We’re broken up,” he said. “It’s…complicated. She has a hard time at home. We’ve always looked out for each other.”

  I wondered if she ever still “looked out” for Derek in the same way. It took everything in me not to tell him she wasn’t as innocent as he thought she was, but I actually felt bad for her at times too. Maybe I had made her out to be worse than she really was.

  “Who knew you’d turn out to be such a slut?” I said.

  His mouth fell open and he busted out laughing. “I haven’t…not that many people…only two.”

  “Two! What the hell! Who else?”

  “There was a stretch when Heather and I weren’t…doing anything…and I slept with Danielle.”

  “I am so disgusted with you right now.”

  “I know,” he groaned. “It’s not like I’m proud of it,” he added. He was quiet for a moment. “Bells?”

  “Yeah?” I turned to look at him and our faces were close to each other.

  “I’m really glad you’re here,” he whispered.

  “Me too,” I whispered back. “But you stay on your side of the bed, you filthy manwhore.”

  “Yeah.” He laughed, his hand drawing a line down the barely there space between us. “Whatever you say, Bells.”

  27

  PRESENT

  AUGUST 2019

  Biceps are the one redeeming quality of the male sex.

  I mean, there are other things, like excellent kisses…but those get you in trouble. For the most part, biceps are pretty awesome and far less trouble than kisses.

  Peace out,

  Mira

  “IT’S about time I see you. Where have you been all summer? I hardly saw you,” Maddie whines, wrapping her arms around me.

  “I stayed pretty busy. But I did miss you,” I tell her.

  She pets Winston and he doesn’t growl. Yet. Hopefully he won’t when she catches him off guard later, but chances of that are slim. He’s still a jumpy guy. We’re moving into an apartment right by school that allows small animals. Winston barely passed the mark, being twenty pounds. Our lease is through the school year and we’re on the first floor; it’s not the cutest space I’ve ever seen by any means, but it’s a thousand times better than the dorms.

  She kisses me on the cheek and goes back to unpacking. “I forgive you. Once I realized how much Jaxson is in the picture, I couldn’t be too mad at you. That boy is too hot to pass over.”

  I laugh and move a box to the counter to start unpacking it. “Jaxson is a friend,” I tell her. “Nothing more.”

  “Pssh. Right. He wants to be your everything,” she sings. “You forget, I heard “Blue-Eyed Shadow” or “Black-Haired Beauty”…whatever that song was called. He wants you bad.”

  I roll my eyes but don’t encourage her further. The less she thinks about Jaxson and me as a couple, the easier it will be. Once she gets her mind on something, it’s hard to veer it elsewhere.

  “Is anything happening with his music? His band was incredible. I’ve thought about him a lot and know they have what it takes to go big.”

  “He’s working with his stepdad right now. I know he likes the work, but I think deep down, he’d rather be doing music. He fought to go to Berklee—I can’t figure out why he argued with his stepdad so much over going there if he was just going to do music on the side…”

  It’s something I’ve brought up more than once, and while I love Jaxson’s strong work ethic, I want him to be sure he’s doing what he wants to do.

  “That is weird. Well, let me know when they’re playing next. We can go hear them,” she says, wiggling her eyebrows.

  I groan. “If you keep making that face every time we talk about him, we will NOT be going to hear him play…ever.”

  She scrunches her face up. “You’re no fun.”

  She dumps the utensils into the drawer and then tries to organize them. I don’t bother to tell her there could’ve been a simpler way; she does things her own way.

  “If we’re not lusting after Jaxson, that means everyone else is a potential subject,” she says. “I should see if Alex has any friends!”

  “No. Back off. I’m good,” I tell her. “I just want to focus on school.”

  “No FUN,” she reiterates.

  WHEN CLASSES START and I find myself missing Jaxson far more than I’m comfortable with, I rethink my stance with Maddie. Maybe meeting someone new is exactly what I need to get my heart and libido back on track.

  That’s never made much of a difference before, my heart argues with me.

  But he’s back in your life, and that’s all you’ve really wanted, my brain shuts down my heart.

  And he doesn’t make it easier, sending me flowers the first week of school, and filling my nights with sweet text messages.

  I drove to Fiesta Island today, missing you and Winston. I can’t let Winston forget me—he was just starting to warm up to me. When can I come see you? I mean…him. :)

  Me: Soon!

  And on another night…

  I read a book—can you believe it? It was called “How to Win the Heart of your Best Friend”…or maybe it was “I’m Hopelessly in Love with Her and Other Truths”…something like that. Great read. Hopeful. Bittersweet. Infuriating. And very, very hot. You should check it out.

  Me: eye roll emoji

  And another…

  I sold a hugely lucrative property today. Success! It feels dim without you here to celebrate it with me. You’re not that far away. Please have dinner with me. I’m beginning to think you’re avoiding me.

  Me: When did you become so annoying?

  Is it working?

  Me: Let me get used to this new schedule and we’ll put something on the calendar.

  UGH. It’s not working as quic
kly as I’d hoped. Pencil me in soon, please.

  PART of me is relieved to have the smallest bit of distance between us. It had been too easy to blur the lines when we saw each other regularly. I immerse myself into my classes and Winston and wedding jobs on the weekends.

  During the third week of classes, I walk out of my marketing class and run into the guy in front of me. My papers go flying and I look up, already apologizing.

  “Miles?” I say, grinning.

  “I can’t believe it,” he says. He bends down and helps me pick up the papers, handing them to me as we both stand back up. “Mira Hart, how are you?”

  “I’m great. How are you? I had no idea you were here!”

  “I transferred closer to home. My mom is going through a divorce,” he adds, eyes clouding over.

  “Oh no. I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Thanks.” He gives me an appreciative look. “You’re even more beautiful than I remember. Damn,” he adds, grinning wide.

  “You’re pretty spectacular too,” I flirt back. “I don’t remember these arms in high school.” I eye his muscular arms and then get embarrassed at the way I’m ogling him. He was cute before, but now he is hot.

  “We should get together, catch up,” he says. “Are you doing anything Friday night?”

  “I have an early morning Saturday, but I could go out for a bit,” I tell him.

  We exchange numbers and I walk away smiling. I’ve always had a special place in my heart for Miles. He looked out for me when I needed him most. It’s so good to see him again.

  WHEN FRIDAY ROLLS AROUND, I try to get out of the apartment without Maddie knowing I’m going out. I change into clothes that are cute but not too cute, and when she asks me to go with her and another friend to the restaurant a block over, I tell her I’m going to hit the library.

  “I miss my Mira,” she sulks.

  “We can do something fun on Sunday,” I tell her. “I have to work tomorrow, but Sunday is yours.”

  “Deal,” she says.

  I meet Miles at a restaurant he wanted to try and we hug shyly when we see each other.

  “Is there a reason you insisted on meeting here instead of me picking you up?” he asks.

  “I have a very nosy roommate,” I answer. He laughs and leaves it alone.

  We cover the small talk of what we’ve been up to since senior year and then he hits me with the question I know he’s been dying to ask.

  “So, are you still hung up on Jax Marshall?”

  I choke out a laugh and take a sip of my Coke. “Jaxson and I have recently been in each other’s lives again,” I answer. “We’re friends. He thinks he wants to be more. I don’t. Seems like maybe we’ll always be complicated, but bottom line, we are friends.” I tap out the last three words with my hands on the table.

  He leans in, his eyes twinkling in the low lights. “Hmm. Complicated.” His lips move to one side as he studies me. “Would you say that there’s any hope for me yet?”

  “I’d certainly put you at the top of the list for options,” I tell him, smiling. “If I was looking, I mean…”

  “Oh, right…when will you be looking?”

  My heart ping-pongs along with our banter. “I always had a bit of a crush on you, in spite of being hopeless about Jaxson in high school.”

  “Had I known that, I would’ve tried a lot harder.” His eyes fall to my mouth then and I flush, wondering if he’s remembering.

  He seems to know exactly when to move the conversation to lighter, safer territory, and the rest of the night, we both talk freely about anything and everything. I’m shocked when I look at my watch and see that it’s eleven o’clock. I look around and see that the restaurant is closing and we’re the last of the remaining customers.

  “I think they’ve been shooing everyone out of here but us. They must have known we needed the time,” he says, grinning.

  He walks me to my car and there’s the first twinge of awkwardness as we look at one another.

  “It’s really good to see you again, Mira,” he says.

  “It’s great to—” I start and am cut off with his kiss. I’m so surprised, I don’t kiss him back at first, but then I snap out of my daze and kiss him back. I hold onto his firm biceps and swoon into his mouth. When we finally pull away from each other, I feel weak.

  “You’re not going to run this time, are you?” he asks, wiping his thumb over my bottom lip.

  Still breathing hard, I shake my head. I hope not, I think. “No,” I say.

  He kisses me again, smiling this time when our lips first meet. “Good,” he says when we part. “I could get used to this mouth,” he says, leaning in for one more kiss. “You better go before I kiss you all night.”

  I drive home smiling and tapping my steering wheel, giddy over a great night and a great kiss. I’ve hardly thought about Jaxson at all. Things are looking up.

  I’m walking into the apartment when I turn the sound back on my phone and a slew of messages go off. At least five from Jaxson and twelve from Maddie. I race into the apartment and Jaxson is sitting on the couch with Winston by his side. He smiles up at me and then takes another look at my face, my lips, and what I imagine is a red chin from the razor stubble that I was basking in all the way home, and his face falls.

  28

  PRESENT

  HEY, D,

  When you see that I’m on a downward spiral, could you at least have the decency to give me a heads-up? We’ve been friends a long time and I could use your help.

  ~M

  I FEEL Maddie’s eyes on me during the brutal silence, but I stay focused on Jaxson. Winston rushes to me and dances around my feet, doing the spastic dance he reserves for me when I come into a room. Normally, it makes me laugh my head off, but tonight, I pet him quietly while still watching Jaxson.

  “I shouldn’t have just shown up here,” he says finally. “I apologize. Winston does let me pet him a lot more when you’re not around, so that was…cool.” He leans his head back and looks at the ceiling. “I’m afraid I’m going to keep saying stupid things, so I’ll just get out of here.” He stands up and grabs his keys.

  “Jaxson, wait. I’ll…walk you out.”

  Winston trots happily beside us and stops every few seconds to sniff a leaf or the grass. I guide where I want him to go with the leash.

  “You’ll never guess who’s back in California,” I say, clearing my throat. Why am I so nervous? I square my shoulders.

  “Who?” he asks politely.

  “Miles. He’s going to UCSD…”

  He stops walking and turns to look at me. “Is that who you were with tonight?”

  I nod. “We went to dinner.”

  He starts walking again and nods…a lot of nodding. We reach his car and after he unlocks it, he turns to look at me. He holds his hand out for Winston’s leash and attaches it to his mirror, almost like he’s stalling.

  “Are you trying to hurt me?” he asks.

  “What? Why would you say that?” I step closer and put my hand on his arm.

  “I was a real asshole in high school. I’d understand if you wanted a little payback if you’ve ever felt about me the way I feel about you…what goes around, comes around and all…”

  My hand drops and I take a step back. “You think I’m trying to pay you back? I would never intentionally do that to you or Miles. And I would hope you weren’t trying to get back at me for something all that time in high school!” When he steps toward me, I hold my hands up and they land on his chest.

  “You’re killing me, Mira. I thought you needed time. That I needed to build your trust…that I could show you how much I care about you and…eventually, you’d be with me. You’re not going to be, are you?”

  “I told you I thought we should be friends,” I say, my voice cracking.

  He puts his hands on my cheeks and stares into me, his eyes stormy. And then he closes the distance and kisses me. A tear falls down my face and he wipes it away with his fingertips, h
is tongue tracing my mouth before diving inside. I get lost in it, my heart thudding as he turns and presses me against the car. I groan as he grinds into me, kissing me like we will never get another chance. I pull on his waves, driving my tongue deeper into his mouth, while my body melts, like liquid seeping into the pavement.

  When he drags his lips from mine, he kisses my forehead, and panting, says, “Look at me and tell me that’s all we are…friends. Tell me, and I’ll let it be.”

  My stomach and hands and knees feel like they are shaking from the inside out. I move past him and lean over, putting my hands on my knees. When I’m steadier, I unwind Winston’s leash and don’t look at Jaxson as I take off running.

  THE NEXT MORNING I drag myself to the wedding venue and meet Liesl out front.

  “Geez, rough night?” she asks.

  “Don’t ask,” I say, taking the coffee she holds out for me and lifting it in thanks.

  “I just hope you have a steady hand,” she says with wide eyes.

  “No alcohol contributed to this foulness,” I assure her.

  We lug our things inside and fortunately I am too busy to dwell on the night before. Random screenshots still float across my mind, and I dismiss them repeatedly. As in, so many times that by the time we’re done for the day, I’m exhausted from trying not to think about it.

  “Okay, what gives?” Liesl asks when we have everything packed up.

  I lean against her car and sigh. “I kissed two guys last night.”

  “Hussy!” She laughs and when I don’t, she rubs my arm. “Oh, honey, I’m teasing. What happened? You look miserable.”

  “Jaxson and Miles.”

  She looks confused. “But…didn’t you…? Weren’t they…?” she trails off.

  “Yeah, high school.”

  She’d heard bits and pieces about them back then.

  “Well, do you want to be with one of them? Or do you not know, is that the problem?”

  “I want to be friends with Jaxson and see where things go with Miles.”

  “That sounds straightforward enough. So what’s the problem?”