by Cassie May
“Shhh… it is okay, cara. I am here. I won’t leave you. I am just sorry that you had to endure that. I can only imagine how hard it must have been. I am so sorry.” My voice is raspy and still slurred and she lifts her tear stained face to look at me.
“It was the hardest thing I ever did. Luca told me to keep it together till we are here, because we had to look after you and your friend and I felt as if my insides fell apart piece by tiny piece, because the pressure to keep going was so hard. Not even burying my parents was that hard. I don’t know what I would have done if you would have died, Matteo. I love you.” With that she hides her face in my chest again and I hug her harder. This woman brings me to my knees every time she tells me something like this.
“I love you, too. Try to sleep now, cara. Tomorrow everything will look better.” I press a kiss on the top of her head and feel sleep overwhelming me in seconds.
***
The next morning I wake up to the delicious smell of hot chocolate directly next to me. Opening my eyes I see Valerie smiling at me a steaming mug in her hands. “I brought you your favorite. The doc said if you feel like it you can even stand up. Just no straining exercises that might pull your stitches. You were really lucky. The bullet missed every major thing that is in your gut.” She closes her eyes and shudders before handing me the mug.
I was right. It is real hot chocolate, with marshmallows and cream on top. And a light cocoa dusting. Damn, I almost want to stay sick, so I can get that special treatment every morning. Taking a careful sip I look at Valerie. “Thank you, cara. Do you know something from Theresa?”
She sits next to me on the bed and nods. “Yeah, she was so much worse than you. Thank god she has no organs injured, but even though it was touch and go for a while. She is in the room next to this one, but…” She hesitates and I press her hand to make her go on. “It seems almost as if she has shut herself off from the world. What did happen with her? Was she… I mean… I still don’t really know what happened to you?”
“Me neither and if you feel fit enough to tell your story I‘d like to get some more information now. I believe you had something to do with a warehouse full of injured or dead Mexicans?” Unnoticed from me and Valerie my brother has stepped in the room. Relief clearly visible in his eyes. “It’s good to see you finally awake, little brother.”
“Yeah, well I’ll make it short. I really want to see Theresa and make sure she really is okay. She was the one I paid to watch over Clara. I got a message from her, telling me that she had information for me”, I begin to tell them what led to my collapse on Valerie’s doorstep and feel her tensing and flinching the more I tell her how dangerous it was. Finally I end and she wraps her arms around me.
“Thank you for making it out and coming back to me again.”
Pushing her chin up with my finger I look in her eyes and press a kiss on her soft lips and only Rico’s presence next to us keeps me from doing something that might pull my stitches. Even though she is breathless when I end the kiss. “Help me get to Theresa?”
She nods, her eyes still glazed over and I wait a minute till she is back in the present and can help me up. The pain in my gut is still there, but it is not that bad so I am able to stand on my own. I resist the urge to stretch my sore muscles and wrap one arm around Val’s should motioning to the door. “Lead the way, cara.” She chuckles and we leave the room followed by my brother. I am sure he wants to question Theresa as well. I don’t know how she got caught by the Mexicans and I burn to know this. I bet it is somehow Clara’s doing. The bitch so deserves a severe punishment and I can only hope that she won’t be able to do more damage than she has already done.
When we enter the second room I immediately see what Valerie meant. Normally Theresa lights up a room with her presence. People turn to her and she can play them how she likes it. Today however she seems almost muted. Pale and calm she lays in the bed and doesn’t even turn her head to look at us. Sitting on her bed I grab her small hand. “Hey T, how are you feeling?”
She blinks and I almost feel like I am in a horror movie when she slowly turns her head to stare at me. “I told you to leave me there.” Her voice is a whisper and I feel a shiver running down my spine. This is really creepy.
“Yeah, but I didn’t and we both go out. More or less unscathed. Isn’t this a reason to be happy? I would have been shot anyways, so don’t take this on you. I would totally do everything the same again.” Well, that’s a lie. I would not go into this without backup, but the rest I would have done the same.
“I was prepared to die. They wouldn’t have let me live after I almost bit off his cock.” I hear Valerie gasp behind me, but I don’t turn around. I have to snap Theresa out of this funk. She must realize that she has to turn back and start living. Her life is far from over.
“Yes, I know that you were prepared and I can’t thank you enough, because this probably saved both of our lives, but you have to snap out of this… funk you are in. You are living. I am living and you are the reason it is like this, so don’t throw this hard-earned life away, okay? You fucking deserve it!” I hold myself back from shaking her shoulders since that is probably not a good idea after the beating she took. “What did the doc say? When can you get out again?”
Wrong thing to say. Totally wrong thing to say obviously. She begins shaking and shivering and panic rises in her eyes. Immediately Valerie steps forward and grabs her hands in a calming gesture. “It’s okay, Theresa. No one is forcing you out of here. You can stay inside as long as you want. Matteo was just interested in your healing and not in getting you out on the streets again. Just try to calm down. The doc said you should not stress your body that much.” Slowly oh so slowly Theresa calms down and finally closes her eyes.
Taking a deep breath she begins to tell me with her quiet voice what happened before I wound her. “I followed the cold bitch as usual, but then something unusual happened two days before. She met with someone I haven’t seen with her, yet and she didn’t seem to like it. It was as if she was extra careful not to be seen with him. I haven’t seen him ever before, not with one of you or with her, but I think he is part of your crowd. He used Italian words, but I couldn’t understand everything. I figured that this was her secret partner and decided to follow him instead of her. Well, he was way more perceptive than she is and I got caught. I turned around a corner and then everything is black and I am waking up in front of these bastards and bound to a chair. I don’t know how I got there, I only know that they wanted me to call you. I refused and then the beating started. I swear I didn’t say anything to them, but then you called and you know the rest. I am so sorry that I pulled you into this mess. Really sorry.” One lonely tear runs over her cheek and I am attempted to wipe it away, but Theresa turns around and places her back in my direction. For the first time in my life I feel utterly helpless. I don’t know how you bring the spark back in a person and the way Valerie glares at me I am in for more problems. She nods her head in the direction of the door and stands up.
Carefully she pulls the blankets up to Theresa’s chin and whispers. “Everything is good. You stay here and get better and if you decide it is time, you can leave.”
Outside the room she glares at me. “How can you make her believe that she has to go on the streets again after what has happened to her? She was raped! How can you expect this from her?” She stabs her finger in my chest and I hear Federico shuffling away behind me to give us some privacy.
Grabbing her finger I pull it to my lips and press a kiss on the tip. “That was never my intention. Theresa has always been a free bird, ever since the day I met her on the streets when she was fourteen. She tried to steal my wallet and then I got her talking and she told me some of her story. I offered her a place to stay, but she refused. She agreed to do odd jobs for me from time to time, like following Clara and I always let her know that I can give her a place away from the streets, but she always told me it would do no good and that she is happy where she is. I just
thought it would be her first thing to do. Getting out and on the streets again.” It wasn’t my most sensitive move, that’s right.
Valerie’s face softens and she snuggles closer. “Okay, I believe you. She must have endured horrible things. The doc asked me if I knew where she was before tonight and I had no idea, but he found older injuries. Badly healed. And scars. So many old scars. Her life must have been horrible.”
She looks up at me expectantly, but I shake my head. “This is not my story to tell, cara. You’ll have to ask her what has happened to her. Now where is this doctor? I would like to know when I get released and can take my woman home again.” I shoot her a serious look. “And home we will go. My home, where Jess and Domenico and Luca and Sandro will join us. It is the safest place right now and after this night I need you safe more than ever.”
She nods and doesn’t even start a discussion which tells me that she is more affected from last night’s events than she makes everyone think.
Chapter 25
Valerie
We are currently living in Matteo’s condo. One week before was the night that changed everything and slowly normalcy gets back to us. I am supposed to go working tomorrow and Matteo is getting ready to meet his brother. The wound on his stomach has healed nicely and he will get the stitches out in a few days. I can’t wait for it, because then we are allowed to have sex again. That man is driving me crazy with his body and fingers, but every other activity is still forbidden by the doc and I am going to follow the instructions. I don’t want to lose him now after everything he has survived.
Survival brings my thoughts back to Theresa. She is allowed to get out of the bed since yesterday, but she refuses to move at all. The doc thinks she is suffering from PTSD and from what I am seeing he is right. If outside is only mentioned in her presence she starts shaking and shivering. Doc said he is going to try to get her stand up, so that she can go on the toilet on her own, but so far there are no progresses. I make a mental note to visit her tomorrow and bring her some baked goodies. Maybe that is going to cheer her up.
Strong arms wrap around my waist and I feel Matteo’s nose nuzzling my neck. “Are you going to be okay without me today, cara?” His voice is raspy and I smile.
“Yeah, I am a big girl, you know? You were already gone for a few hours yesterday and today is going to be longer. Am I going to miss you? Hell yes, but I think I’ll manage. I have to talk to Jess anyways. I don’t know if I like how she and Domenico are tiptoeing around each other. I want to know if everything is okay.”
Matteo nods and smiles. “Just do what feels good for you, but don’t stress yourself too much. You know that the lazy days are going to be over tomorrow when you open the bakery again.” With that he presses a last kiss on my lips and escapes out of the door.
Sighing I make my way over to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the other people in the condo. I need a plan how to talk with Jess. And I need to catch her alone. Which is almost impossible since we got here. Domenico is always at her side as if the incident has glued him there. I know the feeling. It sets your priorities straight when something bad happens and you strain yourself to keep the things and people that are important to you closer than ever. I am already missing Matteo even if he left just minutes ago. Humming to myself I prepare eggs and pancakes and think about making porridge till the lazy asses wake up when I hear the first bedroom door open. Turning around I smile when I see a rumpled Jess staggering to the coffee maker.
“Hey Sweety, I wanted to ask you a question.”
She lifts her hand and grunts something unintelligible. So not a morning person my best friend. She lifts the mug to her mouth inhaling deeply before taking a sip. “Now you may speak.”
“Okay, listen, since it seems as if I never get you alone I wanted to use this moment to ask you if everything… I mean… I made pancakes, do you want eggs as well?” I swallow my question when I see Dom coming out of the bedroom as well.
“Wait… Did you two… I am sure you went to different bedrooms yesterday evening. I was watching.” And I may have been a little distracted from Matteo’s hand on my breasts, but I am sure they went to different bedrooms.
Dom smiles lazily while picking up his own mug and grabbing a pancake. “Yeah, we did, but Jess wasn’t sleeping well and I tried to calm her down and fell asleep. Nothing happened, Val. You friend’s virtue is untouched.”
Jess snorts in her coffee and I can barely hide my grin. “I think my virtue has been touched all right before I even met you.” Jess sounds amused till I hear a slap and her gasped shriek. “What was that for?”
“I told you I don’t want you to talk bad about yourself. You hear me?” Dom growls and his big hand encloses her neck.
“Wait, did you just slapped her butt?” I never saw him lifting his hand against her before and I won’t stand just next to them and look at him abusing her.
“Did. You. Hear. Me. Ballatrice?” His eyes blaze at her till she nods shortly.
“Yes, sir.” Her voice is only a whisper and then a shudder flows through her body. “I am sorry, sir.” Her voice is throaty and suddenly the sexual tension in the room is so thick you could cut it with a knife. What the fuck is going on here?
He releases her immediately. “Good girl.” With that he takes a few steps back and I see Jess leaning in his direction as if she can’t let him go just yet.
He smirks in his coffee and I raise my eyebrow at him. “You still remember the talk we had before? If you hurt her I will kill you.”
He nods slowly while Jess gasps. “Valerie! What is wrong with you? Dom wouldn’t hurt me. Total opposite in fact. He makes me feel better about myself than ever before, okay?” She seems serious and I have to believe her for the moment, even though I can’t place the fact that she is obviously used to him slapping her.
“Okay, now, who wants breakfast?”
Two other voices join Jess’ and Dom’s agreement and I can’t hide my smile. At least I can do that for my friends. Luca and Sandro join us at the big kitchen table. After a long breakfast slash lunch we clean everything up and I try to think of a way to finally separate Jess and Domenico, but before I can come up with a plan the doorbell rings.
“Who the fuck is that? Jess did you order a load of dildos again?” Luca mumbles while Jess and I burst out laughing when thinking back on that day a few weeks before. Jess ordered a package from one of these fun companies that write silly stuff on the outside of the package. This one came with the warning “Supersized glass dildos. Be careful!” The faces of Luca and Sandro were priceless.
“The fuck is she doing here?” Luca has looked at the security cam and turns around to us. “Does anybody have an idea why Clara is here?”
Shaking our heads we come closer, but he holds us back. “Wait. I want to make sure she is alone and not armed or something.” Jess and I freeze on the spot. After what happened with the Mexicans and Theresa Matteo and Federico told us everything they knew and the thought of Clara coming in here with a gun to follow whatever crazy plan she has is not as absurd as it might sound. Finally Luca opens the door and glares at Clara. “What are you doing here?”
She laughs a forced and sugary sweet laugh and slaps his chest. “Careful soldier, you are overstepping your place right now. I just came to have a short talk with Matteo’s girl. I won’t need long and I am sure your services won’t be used anymore after that.”
Raising one eyebrow I step forward and look at her. “I am here. What do you want?”
“Can’t we talk in private? I don’t think you would like these peasants to know what I have to say to you.”
Motioning to the spacious living room I shake my head. “These peasants are my friends, everything you want to say to me, they can hear as well, so start talking.”
She huffs indignantly and takes a seat. “Fine. If you want them to hear your humiliation it’s your choice.” With that she pulls out her phone and a calculating gleam steals in her eyes. “I suppose you want to s
tay with Matteo, even after he brought trouble to your doorstep?”
Shrugging I shoot my friends a confused glance. They have formed a loose circle around Clara and me. “I don’t know what you mean, exactly, but yes. I think Matteo and I are in for the long-term.” We haven’t talked about it, but he always told me I was more than a quick fuck and that he wants to take me to Italy someday to meet his mother and all that. He wouldn’t do that for a hussy.
“Well, I just think you should know that you will never come first for him. Trust me, I know what I am talking about. You can never push the mob to second place.”
Crossing my arms in front of my chest I see her smiling and realize that she sees it as the gesture it is: to form another barrier between her and me. “Why are you coming here to tell me that? I am totally aware about the fact that the mob is his life, but I think I manage to fit in quite good so far.”
She raises one eyebrow. “Then it might surprise you to hear that he would let you go immediately if it would be necessary.” With that she presses on the display of her phone and I hear Federico talking.
“So, that woman of yours. She is it, isn’t she?” He sounds relaxed and I realize that she must have recorded this in secret. Rico is never relaxed in her presence.
“Yeah, she is. What do you want me to tell you?” Matteo’s voice is soft and I almost see him smiling to his brother. That special secret smile only for me.
“Nothing. I am happy for you, fratellino. I just have to know that I can still count on you, Matteo.”
“You can always count on me, Rico. You know that. I would never abandon you.”
“And what if one day you have to decide between her and the Family? What would you do?”