She took a deep breath then returned to what she’d been doing. She knew she couldn’t think about what had happened when there were people depending on her for help. However, later, she would let herself remember the way Lewis had looked at her as though she was the most precious thing in his life. Maybe it had meant something and maybe it hadn’t, but it definitely needed thinking about.
It was almost four a.m. when the operation began to wind down and all the casualties had been transferred to hospital. There were still a few people left in the carriages but there was nothing anyone could do to help them.
Lewis couldn’t remember ever having felt so tired as he made his way back to the command centre to sign off. Every muscle in his body ached from the exertion of squeezing through gaps no human being was meant to fit through. Harry and Amy joined him at the makeshift desk, their usual banter subdued by the sights they’d witnessed that night. There were fifteen dead from the train crash and another six from the motorway pile-up so one way or another it had been a bad night for a lot of people.
‘It’s been tough,’ he observed, filling in the time of his departure.
‘Tell me about it.’ Harry looked grim as he filled in his own details. ‘I don’t fancy another night like this in a hurry.’
‘Me neither,’ Amy agreed. She took the pen from Harry and scrawled her signature on the sheet. ‘I’m so tired I can hardly sign my own name!’
‘Good job you aren’t writing me a cheque then,’ Harry joked, making a brave stab at humour.
Lewis grinned tiredly as he followed them along the road. ‘You two should form a double act and go on the stage. You’d earn a fortune!’
‘I might consider it after tonight. There has to be an easier way to make a living,’ Harry retorted, glancing round as Helen came over to join them. ‘Hi! It’s been quite an eventful night, hasn’t it?’
‘It has indeed,’ she agreed, falling into step with them.
Lewis didn’t say anything, even though he agreed wholeheartedly with the sentiment. It had been an eventful night and not just because of the train crash either. He sighed because there was no point pretending why he’d been so relieved to see Helen at the accident site that night. Maybe it was selfish, but the fact that she’d been there and not with John had taken a weight off his mind. He knew he was acting like the proverbial dog in the manger, but the thought of her spending the night with another man was more than he could bear. He didn’t want her to spend the night with anyone else. He wanted her to spend it with him!
He coughed as all the air suddenly exploded from his lungs, and she turned to him in concern. ‘Are you all right?’
‘I’m fine,’ he spluttered. He made himself breathe in then out but his chest still felt as tight as a drum after he’d finished. It was no wonder, too. Thoughts like that were extremely hazardous to one’s health, but he couldn’t seem to control his mind now that it had been allowed a little leeway.
He wanted to spend the night with Helen and fall asleep with her in his arms. He wanted to hold her close and listen to the sound of her breathing, secure in the knowledge that he would relive the experience the next night and every night after that. That was what it all boiled down to. He didn’t want to spend just one night with her—he wanted a whole lifetime’s worth of nights, and he’d never wanted that with any woman before. What did it mean? Was it possible that he’d fallen in love with her?
‘That’s it, folks. I’m off home to my bed!’
Harry waved as he climbed into his car, and Lewis realised with a start that they’d arrived at the car park while he’d been daydreaming. He managed to respond when Amy shouted goodbye but his head was pounding from the effort of trying to sort out his feelings. Was he in love with Helen? Or was he misinterpreting the depth of his feelings for her because he was so tired?
‘We’ll be like zombies in the morning.’ Helen stopped beside her car and zapped open the lock. She looked at him in concern when he didn’t answer. ‘Are you sure you’re feeling all right?’
‘Not really.’ He drummed up a smile, hoping it would put her off the scent because he didn’t want to explain why he was behaving so strangely. ‘I’m so tired that I could lie down right here on the ground and go to sleep.’
‘I know how you feel.’ His answer seemed to have reassured her because she didn’t question him further as she got into her car. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow at the surgery…if you make it, of course.’
‘I’ll do my best.’
He gave her a quick smile then carried on along the row until he came to his own car. Unlocking the door, he got in and started the engine, only to discover that the wheels were firmly stuck in the mud when he tried to drive off. Easing the car into reverse, he tried to back out but only succeeded in digging it even deeper into the mire.
Switching off the engine, he put his head on the steering-wheel in defeat. He was well and truly stuck in the mud, and it couldn’t have been a more fitting end to the night!
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE sound of a car horn made him look up. Lewis sighed when he realised that Helen had pulled up alongside him. Rolling down the window, he smiled ruefully at her. ‘I’m stuck in the mud. Do you think you could tow me out?’
‘I’ve not got a tow rope with me. How about you?’ ‘Nope.’ He glanced around, but the field was almost empty. They were among the last vehicles to leave so it didn’t look as though there would be help coming from any other quarter. He turned to her again and grimaced. ‘I hate to ask but would you mind giving me a lift? I’d stay here for the night, but I don’t want Kristy waking up in the morning and discovering I’m missing. Amy’s mother is with her, but she might be frightened if I’m not there.’ ‘Of course I don’t mind!’ She opened the car door and waited while he retrieved his case from his boot. ‘Have you got everything you need?’ she asked as he climbed in beside her.
‘I think so.’ He patted his pockets to check that he had his house keys and nodded. ‘All present and correct so it’s home now, please, James.’
Helen laughed. And don’t spare the horses, eh?’ ‘Something like that.’ He smiled back then looked away when he felt his heartbeat quicken. It wasn’t easy to behave sensibly but he had to get a grip. The thought that he might have fallen in love with her was a lot to contend with, but he had to stick to his decision to put Kristy’s happiness above everything else.
‘Thank heavens for that,’ Helen exclaimed as they left the field. ‘I thought I was going to get stuck as well for a moment.’
She picked up speed as soon as they were safely back on the road. There were still a lot of vehicles parked near the railway track and he watched in awe as a huge crane was backed into position.
‘Is that really the time?’ Helen exclaimed, glancing at the dashboard clock. ‘It doesn’t seem worth going home when we’ll be back at work in a couple of hours, does it?’
‘At least we’ll have time for a shower,’ he replied evenly. So long as they stuck to trivialities, he should be able to manage, he assured himself, so he summoned a smile. ‘I don’t know about you but I’m dying to wash some of this filth off me.’
‘I know what you mean.’ She grimaced as she took her hand off the steering-wheel and inspected it. ‘I don’t know how I got so dirty when I was wearing gloves. Thank heavens I had these overalls with me, otherwise my clothes would have been ruined. I wouldn’t mind, but I was wearing a new outfit tonight, too.’
‘It was lucky you had them,’ he agreed, although his heart had plummeted. Obviously, Helen had made a special effort for her date that night and it wasn’t the most cheering news he’d ever had.
‘I always keep a pair of overalls in the car, along with my boots,’ she explained, pulling up outside his house and smiling at him. ‘The life of a GP is far removed from what you see depicted in all those television dramas. They make it look as though we enjoy a non-stop round of glamorous cocktail parties!’
‘I wish.’ Lewis made a determined effo
rt to appear up-beat as he opened the door. After all, he was the one who’d encouraged her to go out and enjoy herself so he could hardly complain if she’d taken his advice. ‘Thanks again for the lift. I’m sorry to have taken you out of your way.’
‘You didn’t take me out of my way! It’s only a couple of minutes from here to my house. What’s happening about Amy’s mother, by the way? Will she be staying the night or going home now that you’re back?’
‘I’m not sure,’ he admitted, frowning. If Mrs Morris wanted to return home then he would have to go with her, although he didn’t know what he was going to do about Kristy. Helen must have realised his dilemma because she switched off the engine.
‘Why don’t you find out what she wants to do? I’ll wait here in case she needs a lift home.’
‘Oh, I couldn’t possibly expect you to start ferrying her around at this time of the night.’
‘You don’t have a choice. Your car’s stuck in that field and you can’t leave Kristy on her own while you walk Mrs Morris home.’
He sighed. ‘No. I can’t. Look, why don’t you come in while we sort it out? There’s no point you sitting out here, is there?’
‘Well, if you’re sure…’
Helen got out of the car when he nodded. She followed him up the path and waited while he unlocked the front door. The hall light was on so he led the way to the sitting room.
‘I’ll just see where Mrs Morris is.’ He pointed to the tray of drinks on the sideboard. ‘Help yourself to a drink while you’re waiting.’
‘I’d much rather have a cup of tea,’ she admitted, and he chuckled.
‘So would I.’
‘Then I’ll put the kettle while you check what Amy’s mother wants to do.’
Lewis didn’t argue. It didn’t seem worth making a fuss and if she wanted to make them both some tea, why not let her? He went upstairs and checked on Kristy first, relieved to see that the little girl was fast asleep. His next stop was the guest room and he didn’t need to go in: the sound of snoring was enough to tell him that Amy’s mother had settled down for the night.
He went back downstairs to the kitchen. Helen was pouring boiling water into the teapot and she glanced round when he came into the room.
‘All quiet?’
‘They’re both fast asleep so I’ll take it that Mrs Morris will be staying the night.’
‘No point waking her,’ she agreed, carrying the pot over to the table. She went back for the mugs then slumped down on a chair. ‘I am absolutely shattered! I ache in places I’ve never ached before.’
‘Me, too,’ he admitted, thinking how true a statement it was. He did ache, and not just physically either. He ached emotionally as well, although it seemed prudent not to mention that fact. He nodded his thanks when she handed him a mug of tea.
‘Oh, drat! I’ve forgotten the milk.’
‘I’ll get it.’ He stood up at the exact moment she did so and they ended up bumping into one another. He grabbed hold of her arms when she staggered back. ‘Sorry! I didn’t mean to knock you over in the rush.’
‘That’s all right.’
She smiled up at him, and in that second Lewis knew he was lost. Every single thought he’d had about behaving sensibly suddenly fled. All he could think about was the fact that Helen was standing in front of him and that all it would take was the tiniest effort to pull her into his arms…
He wasn’t aware of moving but all of a sudden his arms were around her and hers were around him. He could feel the softness of her body, smell the scent of her skin, hear the rapid sound of her breathing, and it tipped him over the edge. He didn’t even pause as he bent and kissed her, didn’t stop to wonder if it was right or wrong because it no longer mattered. He needed this kiss. He needed Helen. And, by heaven, he was going to have her!
Their mouths collided with more speed than finesse but nothing could spoil the magic of their initial contact. When her mouth immediately opened under his, Lewis felt a surge of pleasure hit him. He didn’t need to tease or coax her because her passion was every bit as potent as his own. Helen wanted this kiss as much as he did, and it was the only affirmation he needed.
He pulled her to him, letting her feel the strength of his desire, and heard her gasp. His body was pulsing with need, his blood heating to a degree which shouldn’t have been possible, yet he could feel it happening. When he withdrew his mouth from hers so he could shower kisses across her cheek and along her jaw, she murmured in encouragement, tiny sounds that made his vision blur and his heart pound at double its normal speed.
‘I can feel your heart racing,’ she murmured, placing her palms flat against his breastbone.
‘I know. It’s racing for you.’ He placed his hand on her breast, felt her nipple harden, and groaned.
‘Mine is racing, too,’ she whispered, turning her head so that she could nibble at his neck.
Lewis shuddered as a wave of sensation washed through him. It was more than lust, far more than desire, much more than anything he’d experienced before, and it filled him with awe. He would never have believed it was possible to feel such depth of emotion but, then, he’d never been on the brink of making love to a woman he loved before.
The thought brought tears to his eyes as he drew her to him and held her against his heart. ‘I want to make love to you properly, Helen.’
‘It’s what I want, too,’ she said simply.
‘Are you sure?’ He set her from him, needing to be sure that she understood exactly what he was suggesting, and she nodded gravely.
‘Quite sure.’
She pulled his head down towards her again and kissed him, softly, deeply and with a wealth of passion, and any doubts he had immediately disappeared. She knew exactly what she was doing because it was what she wanted, too.
Taking her by the hand, he led her upstairs to his bedroom. He closed the door, feeling his heart swell with tenderness when he saw her standing there in the centre of the room. Even though he was sure that she didn’t have any doubts about what they were doing, he could tell she was nervous and understood why. It was a big step for them to take and he was nervous, too.
Reaching out, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her gently on the mouth, feeling how she immediately relaxed against him. When his hands went to the zip down the front of her overalls, she smiled up at him.
‘Do you need a hand to get me out of these? They can be rather tricky.’
‘And spoil my fun?’ He grinned at her. ‘I don’t think so!’
Helen chuckled as he ran the zipper down a scant few millimetres. ‘Far be it from me to be a spoilsport.’
Lewis dropped an approving kiss on her nose then slid the zip right down to the bottom of its track. Actually getting her out of the overalls was a bit more difficult but the whole exercise was eased by several dozen kisses. Each time he managed to free her from a bit more of the cloth, he stole a kiss so it was a pleasure rather than a chore and definitely worth the effort, he decided when she stepped out of bulky garment. The sight of her dressed in the glorious sweater and skirt was enough to strike him dumb.
Helen giggled. ‘It was worth the time it took just to see your reaction. I take it that you like my outfit?’ She gave a little twirl and he groaned as he watched the skirt flirting around her gorgeous legs.
‘I love it!’ he growled, pulling her back into his arms, only this time she resisted.
‘Naughty, naughty,’ she said reprovingly, wagging her finger at him. ‘You’ve had your fun—now it’s my turn.’
Lewis wasn’t sure what she meant at first, but he soon found out. He gasped when he felt her hands slide under his sweater as she eased it off him. Her fingers were cool and supple as they stroked his skin and she took her time, letting her hands slide up his body as she worked the sweater up an inch or so at a time. He was trembling by the time it reached shoulder level and was in serious danger of exploding. Grasping the neck of the sweater, he dragged it over his head and tossed it on the flo
or.
‘My turn now,’ he grated, not giving her a chance to argue as his hands homed in on her sweater. The fabric was cobweb fine and he groaned when he felt the threads snagging on his fingers. ‘Maybe I’d better let you do it instead. I don’t want to ruin it.’
‘If you insist.’
She stepped back and gently drew the sweater over her head. She placed it on the end of the bed then took the elastic band out of her hair. Lewis gulped. He couldn’t recall ever seeing anything as lovely in his entire life. Her body was slender but rounded, her full breasts straining at the lacy cups of her white bra. In the soft glow from the bedside lamp her skin had a pearly sheen that entranced him and provided the most wonderful contrast to the richness of her hair.
Reaching out, he traced his fingers over her collar-bone, feeling the delicacy of the bones beneath the lustrous skin. She was beautiful both inside and out, and he wanted her more than he’d wanted anything in his entire life.
‘You’re so beautiful,’ he whispered, his voice trembling.
‘So are you,’ she said just as quietly. She laid her hands on his chest, splaying her fingers so that they brushed delicately over his nipples, and he groaned. When she did it a second time, he couldn’t contain himself any longer.
He swept her into his arms and kissed her, showing her through his actions how he felt because words weren’t enough any more. Words couldn’t describe this desperation he felt to make her his. It was as though he had waited his whole life for this moment and now that it had arrived he could scarcely believe what he was feeling. It didn’t seem possible that he could want her this much and survive!
Helen twined her arms around his neck and held him just as tightly as he was holding her. Her body was warm and pliant in his arms, her heart racing in time with his. When he lifted her and laid her on his bed, she gave a little murmur, as though she, too, wasn’t sure if she could weather this storm of passion they were creating together.
In His Loving Care Page 14