“What happened between you and Sage? Because it was obvious to me that you cared about her and she was clearly in love with you.”
“I’m not built for relationships, Victoria, you know that. I figured I’d let her go before things got too fucked up.” I don’t know why I lie, why I never told Victoria what happened.
“Sage wouldn’t tell me anything, either.” She leans back in her chair, obviously not buying my explanation.
“It’s over. We’ve all moved on, you said yourself that she accepted a new client last month.”
She takes a sip of her drink and smiles. “Yes, she did, but she never showed.”
My head snaps up, and I glare at her. I couldn’t have just heard what I think I heard. And if I did, why the fuck didn’t Victoria tell me sooner.
“What did you say?”
“Yeah,” she says with a nod. “She never showed, left the guy waiting for her in the hotel for hours. I actually had to comp him time with someone else. I was fucking livid at first.”
I cock my head to the side, still not believing what I’m hearing. Why would she not show? From what I do know to be true about her, she needed the money.
“Did she say why?”
She glances at me, a knowing look in her eyes like she could read my thoughts. I hate that I’m that transparent where Sage is concerned, but regardless, I need to know the whole story.
“She called the next day and apologized, said she couldn’t go through with it. She said that the lifestyle wasn’t for her.”
My chest swells with pride, and I can’t understand why I react so strongly. No, that’s a lie. I know exactly why I’m reacting so strongly. None of it changes the fact that she has a daughter that I didn’t know about.
“I suspect she couldn’t go through with it because she fell in love with your dumb ass.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Look, I run a business, and I’m a stickler for rules because my ass is on the line. One wrong move and I could end up…” She waves her hand in the air. “I don’t even want to think about it. I was going to offer you to let Sage out of her contract before you actually called to end it. I could tell you were both crazy about each other, and she’s a good girl, Jackson. She was never cut out for this shit.”
“You don’t know her.”
“I know enough.”
What don’t I know? There’s something missing, information that I don’t have to make the puzzle complete, but what? I should have let her explain that night, I know that, but I was just so furious. I saw that little girl standing there and instantly I was back to my own childhood, asking my mother to love me and having her throw my love away. I couldn’t see straight, but what if I made a mistake?
I leave lunch feeling like something is wrong. Nothing makes sense anymore and I have to get to the bottom of it somehow.
“Where to, sir?” Mac questions after I’ve climbed in the back of the car.
“My office. I need you to get me some information, Mac.”
“What do you need?”
“I need to know anything that you can find about Sage. Where she is, who she’s with, is she working.”
He glances at me through the rearview mirror and grins. “I already have that information, sir.”
“What?”
“I figured you’d ask eventually. I’ve had my contacts keeping tabs.”
I need to give him a fucking raise. “And?”
“Sage’s ex-boyfriend, William Paterson, was arrested for misdemeanor theft on Friday, November twenty-eighth; he had his daughter Madison Paterson with him. Sage went to the police precinct and picked her up.”
“How do you know all this?”
“I can find out just about anything, sir.”
“Is there more?”
He nods. “Madison Paterson is not Sage’s daughter; her mother was Melissa Greer, who died of an accidental overdose a few years ago. Shortly after I assume is when Sage and William became a couple, and she helped him raise her.”
“Shit.”
“William has a residence in Brooklyn where he lives with the girl. Looks like Sage was just watching over the child until he made bail. He got off with a fine, in case you’re interested.”
I couldn’t care less about that asshole; he could have rotted in jail for all I care. “Where’s Sage now?”
“Indiana, she left two days ago.”
Fuck, she went to her brother’s wedding.
“Do you have an address in Indiana?”
“Yes, sir, I do.”
Holy shit, I screwed everything up. I jumped to conclusions, lost the woman I love, and now she’s gone back home to deal with her fucked-up family, all because I was too hotheaded to give her the benefit of the doubt. She deserved a chance to explain, and I didn’t give it to her.
“I changed my mind, Mac. Take me home. I need my plane prepped and ready to go in an hour.”
“Yes, sir.”
All I can think about now is getting to Sage, and first and foremost, making sure that she’s okay. After everything she told me about her family, I’m worried about her being there alone, worried that her father might actually try to lay a hand on her. Once I’ve seen to that, I have to do whatever it takes to get her back. I just hope to God that she hasn’t shut the door on us just yet. I hope she’ll hear me out even though I didn’t give her the same courtesy. The only thing I’m sure of is that I’m not coming back here without my girl.
Sage-
I can’t get out of here soon enough. I flew in to Indiana two days ago, and it’s been hell ever since. I came because, regardless of how I feel about my family, Adam is my brother and I should be here for his wedding. They’ve been as nasty and judgmental as ever, and my father still hates me, but thankfully, he hasn’t attempted to lay a hand on me. For a while there, I thought I wouldn’t come at all, but the days and week passed by with no word from Jackson, and I needed to get out of the city. A night hasn’t gone by that I haven’t cried myself to sleep at night. A day hasn’t gone by where I haven’t though about him, wishing that he would pick up the phone and call me or show up at my door. The more time that passed with no word from him, the sadder I got. I’m starting to accept that a life of solitude is the best I can hope for.
My only bit of happiness was spending Christmas day with Billy and Maddie. She was so happy with all of her gifts, and Billy was just grateful that he was able to give them to her. It’s funny how space and time changes a person because I think Billy finally gets what it takes to be a real man, a real father to Maddie, and I’m so happy for the both of them.
When I told my parents that Billy was no longer part of the picture, they didn’t hesitate to give me their I told you so and are now trying to convince me to stay in Indiana. Why they would do that, I have no clue, seeing as though we can’t stand each other. I imagine it’s because they care about what people around town say and having a daughter off in New York City all by herself would look bad. Imagine what they would say if the knew what I’ve really been up to since I’ve been gone.
“You could at least try to look like you want to be here.”
I glance over at my mother, who’s currently scowling at me, my father’s face matching her contempt. I made it through the actual wedding rehearsal at church unscathed. I’m not actually taking part in the wedding, so I was able to sit off on the sidelines and quietly observe. Now, we’re at the rehearsal dinner where I’m forced to sit at the family table with people who don’t feel like family at all.
“I do want to be here,” I lie. I don’t try to mask the fact that it’s a lie. My tone kind of gives me away.
“Your brother is getting married tomorrow, and you’re lucky that he invited you at all.” This comes from my dad, who’s sitting on the opposite side of me at a circular table.
“He really shouldn’t have. If it’s so much of a hardship to have me here, you shouldn’t have insisted that I come.” If we were alone right now, he would have
smacked me across the face. I can see it in his eyes. In fact, I think I’d probably be safer at a hotel tonight.
My mother chimes in again, “How do you think it would look to the congregation if the preacher’s own sister didn’t show up to the wedding?”
“It would probably look like you’re all a bunch of assholes, which is exactly what you are.” The whole world freezes, and everything comes to a stop. My body shudders, and I feel like I’m having an out of body experience. I look up into the hazel eyes that I’ve learned to love so much, the eyes that I thought I’d never see again. I think I might be dreaming, but I’m not—he’s here. Jackson’s actually here.
My father stares daggers at Jackson. God only knows he hates being disrespected. “Who in the hell are you? And who do you think you are, speaking to us that way? This is a private family affair.”
“I’m the man who’s going to take Sage out of here, because she most definitely is not part of your family. I’m also the man who will make your life a living hell if you so much as look at her the wrong way again,” he says holding out his hand to me. “Come on; let’s get you out of here.”
Just like that, time starts again. I look across the room to see my brother staring in our direction with an angry scowl. The room is perfectly silent, all eyes on me. I have no idea what he’s doing here, but I don’t hesitate to take his outstretched hand, not even for a minute. He pulls me up out of my chair and holds me close to his side. He withdraws what looks like a business card from his front pocket and tosses it on the table in front of my father.
“If you ever want to speak to her again, you’ll go through me.” He turns back to me and squeezes my hand. “You ready?”
“Yes.”
“Then say goodbye to your family. You won’t be seeing them for a while.”
I look at my parents and my brother who has now joined them. He hovers over my mother, and I feel absolutely giddy. I’m filled with joy because if I could have daydreamed a more dramatic exit, I could have never imagined it would be this perfect, this damaging to their perfect family portrait.
“I don’t need to say goodbye. They don’t deserve it.”
He smiles down at me then quickly pulls me out of there. He practically drags me through the parking lot, but my confusion gets the better of me. I pull my hand back and though he doesn’t let me go, he does come to a stop.
“Jackson, what are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to you, just not here.”
“Why?”
“Please, just come with me. I promise that I’ll explain everything.”
“I don’t know.”
“I know that I don’t deserve it, but I’m asking you to hear me out. Can you do that for me, Sage?”
I want to say no, tell him that I wasn’t afforded the same consideration when he thought I had done something wrong, but curiosity outweighs the anger.
“Fine.”
He barely has a chance to say, “Thank you,” before we’re in motion again, and he’s pulling me into a car.
“How did you know where to find me?” I question after we’ve pulled out onto the main road.
“Mac is very resourceful. There’s not much he can’t find out when he needs to.” A few moments pass before he speaks again.
“You promised me that you weren’t going to come down here to this wedding.”
“That was before all hell broke loose.”
“Did your father lay a hand on you?”
“No, he didn’t touch me.”
He clutches the steering wheel but says nothing else. He’s silent the rest of the way over to his hotel. The night sky is full of stars, and I gaze up at them thinking of my childhood. How I used to look up at those same stars and wish for a different life. I’ve heard people refer to their youth as a much simpler time, but mine was never that. Nothing has ever come simple to me. It’s not that I feel sorry for myself, I don’t. I’ve made my choices, but out of all the choices I’ve ever made, Jackson was the one. He was the one thing that I wanted most of all, but I look up at the stars tonight, and I can’t bring myself to wish anymore—not for him, not for anything, because even though he’s here now, there’s no telling what the next few hours will bring.
He pulls up to the valet at the hotel and helps me from the car. I take notice of the fact that he’s held onto my hand every chance he had tonight. The silence is killing me as we head up the elevator and he lets me into his hotel room.
“What, no suite?” I chastise looking around the very small, very ordinary room.
“This was sadly the best they had.”
“Ah, I see.” I look around for a place to sit but the only available chair has his bag resting on it. It’s the bed or nothing, so I choose to stand. “Why did you come here, Jackson?”
“I’m here because I fucked up. I know that now, and I should have let you explain but I didn’t and I’m sorry for that. But now we can move on.”
“What? Are you fucking crazy? You come all the way here and give me a sorry excuse for an apology and that’s it? You really think that’s all you have to say?”
“It was worth a try.” He shrugs looking contrite.
“I’m leaving.”
“All right, all right. I know that Maddie isn’t really your daughter. I know that you were just watching her for your loser ex-boyfriend. I know that you needed me to let you explain, and I didn’t give you that. You’ll never know how sorry I am for acting like that.”
“Go on,” I say sitting down on the edge of the bed.
“My only defense is that I saw myself in that little girl,” he says with a shrug and takes a seat next to me on the bed. “I was outraged at the idea of you treating her anything like the way my mother treated me. I should have known better. I should have known that you would never be that cold.”
“I was going to tell you, but I just was afraid of how you’d react. I was going to explain everything to you the very next day, but you showed up out of nowhere.”
“Why didn’t you ever talk about her before?”
“Because I was heartbroken when I lost her. I’m the only mother she’s ever known and Billy took her away from me. Talking about her would only have made that pain worse, so I just kept it to myself.”
“I get it.”
“You hurt me,” I whisper, feeling my defenses slipping. He’s here, he came after me, and now he’s apologizing. Not many people would be immune to him, and I guess I’m one of those people. He’s up and engulfing me in his arms instantly, his hand in my hair, and his head in the crook of my neck.
“I know. I’m so sorry.” He peppers my face and neck with kisses, lifts me up, and lays me down on the bed.
“You just went crazy on me, and you said things—” I shake my head and try to look away, but he’s right there, positioning himself on top of me, caging me in so that I can’t escape.
“I said things that I didn’t mean.”
“No, but that’s the thing. I was a whore. You were right, and I hate myself.”
“No.” He grabs my hands, pinning them to the mattress. He gives me no other choice but to look at him. “You were not a whore.”
“I was a prostitute,” I croak, unable to fight against the onslaught of tears.
“You were never a prostitute, Sage. You were only ever with me; it was always just you and me.”
“How can you say that? You paid me to have sex with you.”
“No. I was taking care of my girlfriend when she was going through a hard time and couldn’t take care of herself.” He releases my hands and wipes away the fallen tears. “That’s what any man would do, right?”
“You’re delusional.”
“Am I?” His forehead comes down to mine, and it feels so intimate. I’m forced to stare into his beautiful eyes. I see nothing but warmth in them; there’s no anger or judgment. He’s not trying to condemn me for the choices I’ve made, and I’m grateful for that. “You were mine from the start. I never had any
intention of letting you go.”
“You hated me.”
“No. I knew you didn’t belong there, and even still, I was an asshole to you. I’ll have to live with that guilt forever.”
“You don’t have to feel guilty. It all worked out.” I reach up and touch his face, running my thumb across the light stubble, which is new. He’s usually much more clean cut.
“You know that I’m a handful, right?” I grin at him.
“I know and it’s a good thing I have two hands.” He places a gentle kiss on my forehead then disengages, leaning over to the nightstand to pick up a folder.
“What is this?” I question as he hands me the folder.
“I got your file from Victoria. It’s your contract and every other piece of information she ever had on you. It’s yours to do with whatever you want. No trace, no record. It never happened, baby.”
“Jackson.” Emotion instantly chokes me up. Deep down, I know that destroying the file won’t erase what happened. It won’t change anything, but the fact that he cared enough to do this, to get this for me, is touching.
“It never happened.”
I shake my head through tears, wanting so badly to believe what he’s telling me. I want so badly to believe that something good could actually come from my poor choices.
“Say it.”
“I don’t…”
He tips my chin up to level his eyes with mine. I can sense his determination to make this okay for me.
“Say it, Sage.”
“It never happened.”
“That’s right, baby.”
“What happens now?” Him being here is completely unexpected, and it’s left me unsure of what all of this means.
“Before or after I make love to you?”
“After.”
“I take you home and make sure that I never lose you again.”
“How do you know that you won’t get tired of me? You never wanted a relationship.”
“I know because I love you, Sage, and that’s something I’ve never had before. And now that I have it, I will never let it go.”
“You love me?”
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