FEELS LIKE THE FIRST TIME

by Scott Hildreth

  “What’s sick about that?” he chuckled as he closed the lid to the grill.

  “Well, nothing. But it was all gone. So I grabbed an ice tray. Well, I started to. There was a Zip-Lock bag on top of the ice, so I grabbed it to move it and…” I paused to see what he had to say.

  “And…?” he asked.

  “Well? The Zip-Lock bag. What the fuck, Ripp?” I asked.

  He shrugged his shoulders, “Dude, I got nothing.”

  “The finger, Ripp. It had a finger in it,” I mumbled as I sat down.

  “Oh shit, I forgot about that little fucker. It’s been in there for a bit. Let’s get it outta there and look at it,” he said as he wiped his hands on his shorts.

  “Dude, I just saw it. I don’t want to see it again,” I complained.

  “Well, fuck. I probably ought to get rid of it. Maybe the garbage disposal?’ he asked.

  “Hell, I don’t know. It’s kind of small,” I responded.

  “Yeah, but it’s frozen. So basically it’s like a piece of ice. It ought to just get ground up and melt in there, huh?” he asked.

  “No. Fuck Ripp, it’s meat,” I responded.

  He nodded his head slowly, “Yeah, suppose so. Meat and a little piece of bone.”

  “Alright, I’m done talking about it,” I said as I rubbed my stomach and made a face like I’d eaten something rotten.

  “You beat people half to death, and knock out every son of a bitch under the sun, and you wanna get sick over a little finger. Shit, it ain’t no bigger’n a Vienna sausage,” he laughed.

  “I’m done with the finger talk,” I said as I waved my hands in front of my stomach.

  “Well, I need to do something with it before your girl finds it,” he said.

  “Yeah, no shit. Go do something with it,” I begged.

  He walked past me and into the house. In a matter of seconds, he walked back onto the deck. As he shut the door, I turned his direction.

  “Well?” I asked.

  He held up the finger tip, grasping it between his thumb and forefinger.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” I asked.

  He opened the lid to the grill and looked inside.

  “Ripp, don’t!” I screamed and I started to stand up from the lounge.

  “Well fuck, it won’t fit. Come here and look at this. Little fucker’s too small to cook on here. It’ll fall between the little metal bars. Shit. I was just gonna cook it as a joke,” he said as he turned and gave me a disgruntled look.

  Still holding the finger in his hand, he closed the lid to the grill. We both turned to the left side of the deck as we heard the gate open. Kace walked through the gate wearing a floral print sun dress. Our eyes widened as we turned and stared at each other.

  “Hey,” Kace said as she stepped toward the deck.

  We both simultaneously turned toward the open gate. A tall blonde wearing jean shorts and a sleeveless black shirt followed Kace into the yard. They couldn’t have shown up at a worse time, considering the fact we hadn’t resolved the finger issue yet. I looked at Ripp and scrunched my brow.

  “Do something with it,” I whispered.

  As he noticed the other girl, he quickly shoved the finger into the pocket of his Khaki cargo shorts.

  “Hope you don’t mind. I brought my friend,” Kace asked as she stepped onto the deck.

  “Not at all. I’m glad you did,” I responded as I turned and looked at Ripp.

  As they both stepped onto the deck, Ripp raised his eyebrows and wiped his hands on his shorts.

  “Hi. I’m Mike. Mike Ripton. You can call me Ripp, everyone else does,” he said as he walked toward her with his hand held out in front of him.

  “I’m Olivia. You can call me Liv. Everyone else does,” she chuckled as she shook Ripp’s hand.

  I hugged Kace as Ripp shook her hand. As I kissed her, Liv turned our direction. I reached around Kace’s side and held my hand out.

  “Hi, I’m Shane,” I said.

  “Yeah, Kace told me about you,” she said as she shook my hand.

  “Hope you like chicken,” Ripp said.

  “Love it,” Liv responded as she walked toward the grill.

  “Uhhm. Want an Ultra?” Ripp asked as he pointed to the beer cooler.

  “Yeah, sure. I mean, as long as you have enough,” she responded.

  “I always have enough,” he laughed as he leaned toward the cooler and opened the lid.

  Kace squeezed me tight and buried her face in my hoodie.

  “Hey Shorty,” Ripp said as he waved at Kace.

  Without looking, her face buried in my hoodie, Kace raised her hand from my back and waved at Ripp.

  “She’s nice,” I whispered into Kace’s ear.

  “I told her about Ripp on the way here. She’s the one I told you who works at the coffee shop by the deli,” Kace whispered.

  “Aaahhh,” I responded as I turned toward Ripp. He and Liv were talking as he poked at the chicken with the tongs.

  “Go grab a platter and stuff, Dekk,” Ripp said as he stood at the grill talking to Liv.

  “C’mon, babe. Let’s go inside,” I said as I motioned toward the door.

  “So, she’s the girl from the coffee shop on the corner?” I asked as I looked for a platter and plates.

  “Uh huh. She’s the one I’ve been talking to you for the last few months about,” she paused and smiled.

  “Well, you know,” she shrugged.

  “Okay, I was thinking so. She’s single?” I asked.

  “Uh huh. Yeah. Her boyfriend was the douche. I told you about him. They broke up a month ago. Something like that,” she responded as I handed her some plates from the cupboard.

  I grabbed a large platter, silverware, and a roll of paper towels. With my arms full, I leaned toward Kace and kissed her. As we kissed, she set the plates on the countertop and wrapped her arms around me.

  “I like doing this with you, Shane. Cooking. Eating. Being a part of your life beyond just living together. I like this. It’s. It’s, well. It’s like we’re a real couple. I like this,” she said as our lips parted.

  “I like it too,” I said as I adjusted the paper towels under my arm.

  “I want this. I want this forever,” she said as she picked up the plates.

  “I do too,” I responded as I started walking toward the door.

  “Then let’s do it. Let’s take that step, Shane. I’m ready,” she said.

  “It’s not a contest, babe. It’s life. There’s no time limit. If I’m truly what you think you want, need, and desire it’ll happen sooner or later. I’m not going anywhere. And you’ll wait as long as you have to. I am not going to do this in any manner I’m not comfortable with,” I said as I held the door handle in my hand.

  “Well, I’m ready,” She smiled.

  “Noted,” I said as I opened the door.

  As we walked out onto the deck, Liv and Ripp were sitting on the lounge chair together laughing. Each of them had a beer, and Ripp was trying to catch his breath from laughing.

  “Looks like they’re having fun,” I whispered to Kace.

  “Oh my God, Kace. He’s funny,” Liv said as she nodded her head toward Ripp.

  “He can be,” Kace laughed.

  “No, he is,” Liv stated, still laughing.

  “I was just telling her about your boots,” Ripp laughed.

  I raised one eyebrow and turned toward Ripp as I set the plates and silverware down on the table.

  “Well, it’s true,” he said.

  “Let me see the bottoms of them,” she asked.

  I shook my head and turned up the sole of my boot so she could see the holes. As she leaned over and looked, she gasped.

  “Oh my God. Those are awful. You were so right,” she laughed as she slapped Ripp’s leg.

  I turned toward Kace and rolled my eyes. As she set the plates down on the table, I sat on the edge of the lounge chair. Kace sat down beside me and leaned over, resting her head on my sho
ulder. As I wrapped my right arm around her, Ripp stood up and walked toward the grill.

  “So, what’s with the hoodie?” Liv asked quizzically.

  “What about it?” I responded.

  “Well, it’s almost a hundred degrees. You’re wearing a hoodie, boots, and jeans. Don’t you feel out of place?” she asked as she motioned to Ripp and Kace.

  I raised my eyebrows, looked at Ripp and Kace, then turned back to face Liv, “No. I don’t.”

  “So, why wear it in the summer?”

  “Habit I suppose.”

  “It’s hot out here,” she said as she fanned her face with her hand.

  “Not too bad,” I responded.

  “Is there a reason?” she asked.

  I thought about her question. I had worn a hoodie every day since as long as I could remember. It had become somewhat of a trademark. As much as I tried to recall, I didn’t really know what started it. Going without one now would make me feel naked. I doubted if I could make it a day without having a hoodie on or available to put on.

  “I don’t know. Again, I suppose it’s habit.”

  “He always wears one,” Kace said as she lifted her head from my shoulder.

  “I’m not trying to be mean, it just seems odd,” Liv said as she stood from the lounge.

  “I know two things for sure. Dekk’s one weird fucker. And this chicken’s done,” Ripp said.

  Liv grabbed the platter, walked to the grill, and stood behind Ripp. Ripp’s back was about twice as wide as hers. Seeing her stand beside him put them both in perspective regarding size. Ripp was huge and she was exceptionally thin. She reached around Ripp and held the platter at his side.

  “Thanks, Liv,” Ripp said as he grabbed the platter.

  I looked down at Kace’s. She was smiling as she watched Ripp and Liv. I leaned over and kissed her forehead as she admired them. As she turned her head and looked up at me, I kissed her.

  “They’re cute,” she silently mouthed the words.

  I blinked my eyes and nodded. She leaned her head against my bicep as she rubbed my thigh. Almost immediately, I began to become aroused. I shifted my left leg and kicked it up on the lounge. No help. I raised my right leg and leaned into the lounge. Damn it. Kace shifted beside me lowered her head onto my shoulder, and began rubbing my thigh again. As she did, she could feel me hardening. Her hand moved to encompass my now swollen cock.

  She turned her head and softly whispered into my ear as she squeezed my cock in her hand, “I want this.”

  She turned, looked at Ripp and Liv for a short moment, and turned to face me.

  “I want it,” she whispered.

  I closed my eyes.

  She squeezed harder as she stroked her hand back and forth along the bulge in my jeans.

  I kicked my legs over the other side of the chair and picked her up in my arms. Her face was filled with surprise as I swept her from the lounge and into my arms. Now standing on the other side of the lounge and holding her in my arms, she looked up at me and smiled.

  “Ripp, we’re going in the house for a minute,” I sighed.

  Ripp looked up from the grill, “Uhhhm. Alright.”

  Still holding Kace in my arms, I leaned toward the door and grabbed the handle. As I opened the door, Kace looked up at me and smiled. I walked into the living room and slowly lowered her onto the couch. As she lay on the couch, I knelt on the floor beside her and lowered my head alongside her hips.

  “I want you…” she began to say as she kicked her sandals to the floor.

  I pressed my finger to her lips.

  “Shhhh.” I said.

  “Remember what I told you? About me being good at everything that I do?” I asked as I held my finger over her lips.

  She nodded her head and sighed.

  “I want you to listen to me, Kace. Listen and try to be quiet. Focus on listening and feeling,” I said as I slid the bottom of her dress up to her hips.

  I removed my hoodie and shirt and tossed them over the arm of the couch. I lowered my chin to the inside of her bare thighs, looking up at her eyes as I did. As I reached up and slowly pulled her panties down her thighs, she sighed softly. I tossed her thong on the couch beside her, reached inside her dress, and placed my hands against her waist. I pressed my thumbs lightly into the depression of her hips.

  “Shhhh. Listen. I don’t know if I’m a good boxer because I notice all the details, or if I notice all the details because I’m a good boxer,” I slowly licked up her inner thigh, working my way closer to her hips.

  “But,” I paused and looked up into her eyes.

  “I do notice all the details. Like the day we met in your office. The yogurt cup in the trash. The plastic spoon. The Running magazine you had on your desk. I notice everything.”

  I continued to lick my way up her thighs. Half way between her knee and her pussy, I stopped and looked into her eyes again, “We encounter countless people in our lives, Kace. It’s our responsibility to pay attention to who they are and notice how they affect us if we give them the chance. If we don’t pay attention to life’s details, we may miss these opportunities.”

  “I know who you are. I know what you do to me. Just having you near me fixes everything that is broken inside of me. All of my fucked up little pieces become one. I become whole when I’m near you. Understand that, Kace. I want you in my life. But one thing I will not do is sacrifice you for the sake of making me happy. You are vulnerable. I will not take advantage of that. Sex, to me, is sacred. If I have sex with someone, I am making the commitment to them and with them that I am willing to have a child with them. To me, it isn’t as simple as sex. It’s a commitment; a big one. If,” I paused and smiled as I thought.

  “Yes if the time comes, and I hope it does, I am going to fuck you until you are incapable of simple basic tasks. I’ll even have to remind you how to breathe. For now, Kace,” I ran my tongue along her inner thigh until I was an inch from her pussy.

  “Ohhhh God,” she whispered.

  “Shhhhh, be quiet. Or you’ll just get excited and blubber foolishness. Tap me once for yes and twice for no,” I reminded her.

  “For now, Kace. You’ll wait. You’ll wait until I am convinced whatever we decide to do is in your best interest. But believe me, I want you as bad as you want me. And when we make that commitment - if we do - you better be ready.”

  I buried my mouth on her pussy.

  As I began to lick her pussy, she started moaning and pressed her hands into my shoulders. I pulled my right hand from her dress, and placed my cupped hand over her mouth. I slid my left hand under her butt cheek and raised her slightly off of the couch. With my tongue now deep inside her pussy, I worked my way to her clit. As my tongue made contact with her it, her body shuddered. I pressed my free hand firm against her mouth to silence her.

  She tapped my shoulder once.

  Pulling her butt upward, I pushed my mouth against her pussy and my tongue along her clit. I lowered my upper lip, pressing her clit between my lip and tongue. Using the tip of my tongue, I flicked her clit repeatedly and lightly until she began to thrust her hips. As her hips rose high, she screamed into my hand.

  “Mmmmmmmm,” her mouth opened and her teeth pressed against the palm of my hand.

  She released my shoulder with her right hand and tapped my back once. I continued to torture her clit with my tongue. She moved her hand back into place and squeezed my shoulders. Instinctively, she pulled her hips down into the couch cushion and started to wiggle away from me, pushing my shoulders away from her as she did. I lifted my hand from her face and wiped my mouth.

  “Oh my fucking God, Shane,” she said as she scooted across the couch cushions.

  Quickly, she made as much distance as she could between us. She sat in the corner of the couch and stared at me as if she had no idea who I was.

  Puzzled, I looked at her for a moment. The most beautiful woman in the world looked back at me as if she were in shock.

  “Fucking kis
s me,” I said.

  Immediately, she pounced across the couch and wrapped her arms around me. My hands on either side of her face, we kissed. Her full lips against mine, our tongues slowly searched for satisfaction. With my eyes closed, my mind found pure ecstasy in kissing Kace. Our lips slowly parted. As they did, I bit her lower lip, holding it firmly. She lightly moaned as I clenched it between my teeth. Without saying a word, I let go and slowly stood. As I reached for my shirt, she stared at my upper body.

  “Who, Kace? Who’s the most beautiful woman in the world?”

  She pointed to her chest, “Me.”

  “Yes you are,” I assured her.

  Slowly, she shook her head and rolled her eyes.

  “I could cum just watching you put on your shirt. You were right. I know it’s been forever and a day, but you do everything perfectly, don’t you?” she sighed as she grabbed her thong.

  I smiled and pulled my shirt over my head.

  “Fucker,” she said as she pulled her panties over her feet.

  As I reached for my hoodie, she slid her legs over the couch and attempted to stand.

  “I can’t feel my legs,” she complained as she stood.

  “I carried you in, I’ll carry you out,” I said as I zipped up my hoodie.

  I reached down, picked her up, and hoisted her tight to my chest. As I carried her toward the door, she reached up and wrapped her arms around my neck. As I reached the door, she grinned, tturned her head, and looked up into my eyes.

  “Shane, I don’t know how you’ll know when the time has come. You know, when I’m no longer vulnerable. But when you decide it’s time as you say,” she paused and looked down at the floor.

  “I like it rough. Think about that. And you better pray to God that you’re ready,” she said as she looked up.

  Kace might only weigh one hundred pounds and barely be five feet tall, but when the time comes…

  I’m going to have my hands full.

  I know that.

  Chapter 13

  SHANE. I have no complaints about my life. Life, as they say, is what we make it. I make mine a series of lessons. I learn something every day. And whatever I learn allows me to live the next day without the same worries, problems or concerns I have harbored in the past.