FEELS LIKE THE FIRST TIME

by Scott Hildreth

  Mc Claskey moved his head.

  Thank you Lord.

  When they finally got Mc Claskey to his feet, I heard the announcer before I noticed all of the people gathered around me. And it sunk in.

  I had actually won.

  “…of the sixth round. By knockout. The winner, Shane Shame on Dekkar.”

  As Kace stepped into the ring, my dog tags dangling from her clenched fist, I saw the look of pride in her eyes. As I stared at her I further realized - not only had I won the fight - I had clearly won at the game of life.

  Chapter 24

  KACE. I’ve felt a wide range of emotion in my life, but I had never felt the emotion I felt when Shane’s name was announced as the winner. I realized the potential upcoming Championship was a huge fight, but I really didn’t care if Shane ever fought again. The fight he had won, to me, was the big fight.

  “Shane, what’s next for you? Where do you go from here?” the television reporter asked.

  There were cameras and microphones everywhere. Shane had his arm around my shoulder, holding me close to his side. I clutched his dog tags tight in my hand. Ripp and Kelsey were both standing on Shane’s left side. I realized what the announcer asked, and waited to hear how Shane would respond.

  “Well, I’ll have to consult with my manager, my trainer, my sparring partner,” he paused and slapped Ripp with his taped hand.

  “But, ultimately, I’ll have to consult with my little woman,” he pulled me close to his side and paused.

  The microphone immediately moved in front of my face.

  The reporter bent down, “So, ma’am, what’s next for Shane Dekkar?”

  A million thoughts ran through my head. Shane made had it this far, because he was a fighter. He fought not for money, not for fame, but to survive. He had told me he had demons, and the fighting allowed him to live. Out of the ring, Shane was the nicest man in the world and I couldn’t imagine him being any other way. If what he said was right, the fighting permitted him to be who he was in his life. The fighting allowed him to clear his head of all of the things that potentially made other men evil.

  To me, the answer was clear.

  “I, uhhm. I’ll say this. If Shane decides to challenge the Heavyweight Champion of the World, he has my blessing. But I’ll leave the decision up to him,” I almost whispered into the microphone.

  Shane pulled me tighter to his side.

  “So, what will it be Shane?” the reporter asked.

  “That’s all for tonight,” Shane smiled.

  “No more questions,” Kelsey said as he stepped in front of Shane.

  The reporter stepped aside and signed off to the camera with a few last words. Shane, Ripp, Kelsey and I walked to the ropes and ducked out of the ring and onto the floor. As we began to walk toward the aisle, Kelsey eagerly started to talk to Shane.

  “So, Shane,” he paused and turned to Shane.

  “The championship fight. What are you thinking?” Kelsey asked.

  Ripp and Kelsey both turned to Shane as we walked up the aisle.

  “I’m not even thinking about that right now. I’m thinking about someone else’s ass I got to beat,” Shane said.

  “Oh?” Kelsey asked.

  “Kace’s,” Shane said sternly as he slowed his walking pace.

  “For digging through the god damned trash,” he chuckled as he stopped and turned to face me.

  Slowly, he bent at the waist and waited for me to hang the dog tags around his neck.

  Chapter 25

  KACE. When I was young, I dreamt of being swept off of my feet. I hoped one day there would be a boy that would love me, cherish me, and treat me with respect. As I got older, my visions of how that person would act, what he might look like, and what he would do to and for me changed. In recent years, thoughts of whether or not it would ever happen diminished.

  Until now.

  “A Kace Meadows? Is there a Kace Meadows who works here?” The delivery man asked as soon as he stepped through the door. His shirt said F. T. C.

  I couldn’t even speak. I opened my mouth and…

  No words.

  I raised my hand.

  “Are you Kace Meadows?”

  I tapped the desk once.

  Shit, he doesn’t know that code – one for yes, two for no.

  I nodded eagerly and pointed at my chest.

  “Okay, sign here,” he said as he pointed at the screen of his electronic pad.

  I signed quickly; still not convinced he had the right person or place. I’ve never received flowers in my entire life.

  Ever.

  “Okay. Here you go. The card’s right here,” he said as he pointed to a little card holder in the center of the arrangement.

  I eagerly nodded my head again.

  “Have a nice day,” he said as he turned toward the door.

  I nodded my head again.

  I pulled the card out of the holder and opened it.

  Kace,

  I warned you. I’m coming for it.

  Shane

  Roses and baby’s breath. I counted the roses. Twenty four.

  Normally, when I went to the grocery store, I would admire roses at the floral department and take time to sneak a smell. I love flowers. I had never received any from anyone, and I had always wondered how it would make me feel to receive some.

  Nothing compares.

  Nothing.

  I re-read the card. I smelled the flowers again.

  Ahhhhh.

  Shane was an angel, he really was. He took so many precautions to make sure he never did anything to hurt me. Everything he said, did, wanted, or liked was based on what he thought would make me happy. All from a man who was as unforgiving and brutal as he was in the boxing ring. Sometimes I couldn’t comprehend how he could even be real.

  “Kace, are you there?” Mr. Martin asked from the other side of the desk.

  “I’m back here, Mr. Martin,” I giggled.

  “Oh, I couldn’t see you behind the forest of flowers,” he laughed.

  “They’re beautiful. I could smell them from my office. I didn’t need anything - I just wanted to see them. Flowers are as beautiful as the loved one who sends them, Kace,” he said as he bent down and smelled the roses.

  “Enjoy them,” he said as he turned away from the desk.

  “Oh, I will,” I responded excitedly.

  I spent most of the morning smelling my flowers. Before lunch, I received a text message from Shane saying he was at the gym, and he would be busy for the remainder of the day. He said he would see me after work, and we would talk. I thanked him for the flowers, and he responded with a smiley face, which was out of character for him. He never texted, and he never sent smileys.

  After lunch, I walked back to the office and sat at my desk. The entire office smelled like roses. I felt so proud to have the flowers. I sat and tried to think of what Shane may want to talk about, and eventually decided he probably wanted my approval to fight the championship fight.

  The door opened again. A man in a uniform walked in. He had a sewn on patch on his blue uniform shirt. Lofton Mini Cooper. He leaned around the flowers and looked at me.

  “Are you Kace Meadows?” he asked.

  “Uhhm. Yes, I am. Can I help you?” I asked.

  “Yes, it’s about your car, can you come outside?” he asked as he turned and walked out the door.

  How rude.

  My heart sank. I had the same car since my senior year in high school. My Mazda Protégé. It had three hundred thousand miles on it, and it isn’t much, but it was all I had. If this rude man hit my car and it was damaged, I would have to take the bus to work.

  “Mr. Martin, I have to go outside. Something’s happened to my car. I’ll be right back in,” I yelled down the hallway.

  “Okay, Kace. I’ll answer the phones,” he responded.

  I stepped outside the office door and onto the sidewalk. The man stood beside the curb with another man who wore a shirt just like his.
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  “What happened to my car?” I asked.

  “I’m not sure what you mean, ma’am. We’re making a delivery. You’re Kace Meadows?” he asked.

  “Yes, I’m Kace Meadows, why?” I responded.

  He held out a set of car keys.

  “Delivery from Lofton Mini Cooper. From a Mr. Shane Dekkar. Just out of curiosity, how do you know Shane Dekkar?” he asked.

  Confused, I looked at him and responded, “He’s my boyfriend.”

  “Shane Dekkar, the boxer?” he asked.

  I nodded my head slowly.

  “Kip, this chic is Dekkar’s girlfriend. The guy from here in town who fought on Pay-Per-View. Shame on Dekkar,” he said over his shoulder to the other man in the uniform.

  “Holy shit. You think you could get us his autograph?” the other man asked.

  Still confused, I shrugged my shoulders, “Uhhm. I don’t know, maybe.”

  “Well, when you bring this in for service or warranty work, bring him with you,” he said as he pointed toward the street.

  “I don’t understand what’s going on,” I responded.

  “Oh, sorry,” he said as he turned and dropped the keys into my hand.

  I scrunched my brow and looked at the keys.

  “From Mr. Dekkar. He bought you a new Mini Cooper,” he said as he pointed to a new car sitting at the curb beside the other man.

  My heart rose up into my throat. I turned and looked down the sidewalk in each direction.

  “This isn’t a joke?” I asked.

  “No ma’am. We delivered it for him. Kip’s taking me back to the dealer. Mr. Dekkar bought it from the sales department. We work in the service department. They just asked us to deliver it,” he responded.

  “You’re not making a YouTube Video or something?” I asked.

  “Nope,” he said as he shook his head.

  “This is mine?” I asked as I pushed the button on the keys.

  The lights flashed and the horn honked.

  “Yes ma’am.”

  I pushed the button again. The lights flashed and the horn honked again.

  “Can I look inside?” I asked.

  “Ma’am, you can do whatever you want. It’s your car. Bring Mr. Dekkar out to see us if you can. You ready Kip?” he turned to ask the other man.

  I pushed the button on the keys again. I looked at the outside of the car, which was a beautiful silver color. I opened the door. I pushed on the seat with my hand. Oh God, black leather interior. The car smelled like brand new. It was brand new.

  Squeeeeeeee!

  I ran into the office and sat at my desk. It was simply too much to comprehend. I was living in a dream. A real life dream. I sat and wondered if someone was going to come take the car later and say it was all a big joke. I held the key in the air and pushed the button.

  Beep!

  I pushed it again.

  Beep!

  I knew Shane was training, and I didn’t want to disturb him, but I felt I had to say something. I was far too excited to keep my mouth shut. I picked up my phone and sent him a text message.

  Shane: OMG! Someone brought me a car. Do you know anything about this?

  I picked up my desk phone and pushed the button to connect me to Mr. Martin’s desk.

  “What is it, Kace?” he asked.

  “Someone brought me a new car, Mr. Martin. I just wanted to tell you,” I squealed.

  “What do you mean, Kace?” he asked, his voice filled with surprise.

  “That’s what I said when they brought it. Uhhm. Shane. He bought me a car and had the boys from the dealership deliver it. It’s silver and so cute. I just thought I’d tell you,” I giggled.

  “I’ll be up in a minute,” he chuckled.

  Immediately, I heard Mr. Martin walking down the hallway toward my desk. As he approached my desk, he leaned over and smelled the roses.

  “I can’t smell those enough, Kace. A bouquet of roses puts my mind at ease. Let’s have a look at the car, shall we?” he said as he held his hand out.

  I dropped my keys in his hand, stood up from my seat at the desk and straightened the wrinkles from my skirt. As I stepped around the desk, the aroma from the flowers made me smile. As my body cleared the edge of the desk, Mr. Martin held out his free hand. As we walked outside together, he held my hand in his.

  “A new car. That’s’ quite a gift,” he said as he held the office door open.

  “He’s quite a guy, Mr. Martin,” I smiled as I looked up at him.

  He pushed the button on the keys.

  Beep!

  He turned and looked toward the sound of the horn and pushed the key button again.

  Beep!

  “Oh my. A Mini Cooper. That’s a fabulous choice on his part, Kace. This will be great car. These things have been the car of choice in Europe for decades and decades, and for good reason. They have great gas mileage, outstanding performance and they’re a pleasure to drive. It’s gorgeous, Kace. I’m happy for you,” he said as he looked in the window of the car.

  “Now this is Shane, the boxer?” he asked as he turned and handed me the keys.

  I nodded my head, “Yes sir.”

  “He’s perceptive, isn’t he?” he asked as he turned to face the entrance to the office.

  “How so?” I asked.

  “He recognizes you as being valuable. As being beautiful. As being, well,” he paused and raised his hand to his chin.

  “Special. He sees you as special. And he’s doing his best to tell you. Or, shall I say, show you how he feels,” he said as he held the door open for me.

  “I suppose so, I really like him,” I responded as I walked through the door.

  “A little advice?” he turned my direction and smiled.

  “Okay,” I responded.

  “Starting right now, don’t ever be anyone but you. And be one hundred percent honest with him regarding your wants, desires, and hopes. Tell him what it is that you expect and want in the relationship. Don’t sacrifice what you want for the sake or thought of making him happy. Make him understand what it is that’s important to you from the start. If you don’t, you’ll forever regret what it is you’re giving up – what it is that you’re not receiving. If you tell him now, you’ll give him the chance to discuss it, consider it, or ultimately – provide it,” he adjusted his neck tie, smiled, and looked down at his shoes.

  He seemed to become sad.

  “For ten years of marriage, Mrs. Martin didn’t bake sweets because she felt she didn’t want to tempt me to eat unhealthy foods. For ten years, I snuck to the diner alone and ate a slice of pie. I ate a different type of pie every time I went. I love pie, by the way,” he paused and smiled.

  “I lived with ten years of guilt for sneaking out and eating the pie alone. She lived with ten years of misery for giving up something she truly loved – baking pastries and sweets. Had we only discussed it in the beginning, those ten years would have been so much better for us both. It might sound silly or simple, but that’s just an example,” he adjusted his tie and offered another smile.

  “Thank you, Mr. Martin,” I smiled, “I’ll do that.”

  As he walked down the hall to his office, I went back to my desk and made a list.

  Of what was important to me in a relationship.

  Chapter 26

  SHANE. Kace had become the most important thing in my life. In many respects, Kace had become my life. For me to admit Kace’s importance was simple and second nature. Two years ago, I suspect it would have been impossible for me to admit. Now, however, I didn’t hesitate. Now that I had had Kace in my life, to imagine not having her made me feel extremely uneasy.

  I wasn’t simply attracted to Kace. I felt as if I needed her. Merely having her accompany me in life provided me with a feeling of completion. Similar, I suppose, to concluding a long journey.

  Kace made me stop. Stop wanting. Stop wondering. Stop looking. Stop thinking. Stop running.

  And begin.

  Living
, breathing, and being.

  I didn’t feel an attraction to her because she’d been in an abusive relationship. I didn’t feel as if I had rescued her either. I truly believed I opened her eyes and provided her with ideas of what her options were. I loved Kace because she was genuine. I loved Kace because she was a beautiful person.

  I loved Kace because she was Kace.

  “A list, huh?” I chuckled as I pulled a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

  “I’m serious. I brought it home with me. I put a lot of thought into it,” she paused and waited at the end of the kitchen countertop.

  “I wasn’t laughing at your list, babe. I was laughing because you’re so fucking adorable. You’re different than any other girl I’ve ever known. At least after leaving Buster, you aren’t afraid to say what you think. I like it. I like you,” I said as I walked her direction.

  “Well, you want to go over it?” she asked as she pulled a folded sheet of yellow paper from her purse.

  “Absolutely, let’s go in the living room,” I said as I walked past her.

  She kicked her heels off onto the kitchen floor and ran past me as I walked to the couch. She bounced into the chair on the opposite side of the couch and unfolded the sheet of paper.

  “You don’t want to sit together?” I asked as I sat down on the couch, patting the cushion beside me with my hand.

  “Nope. I want to sit here and watch you while we talk,” she bounced excitedly in the cushion as she spoke.

  “Okay, let’s get to it,” I responded as I took a sip of water from the bottle.

  “Okay, here’s what I would want to be in a perfect relationship with you. I want to know if these things are okay with you, not okay, or something we could discuss. Some are really important, and some not as much. I decided we need to get this out of the way,” she flipped her hair over her shoulders and stretched the wrinkles from the paper.