Everything went black.
And all I could hear was buzzing.
* * *
~joan~
Sunlight was streaming in through the windows when I opened my eyes. Tessa was standing over me, shaking me. I was alone in bed. I blinked and stretched. Where was Jason?
“God, you’re hard to wake up,” said Tessa.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, pulling the sheets up around me as I sat up.
“Lori sent me in to get you. It’s our turn weeding in the vegetable gardens today.”
I nodded, yawning. “Let me get dressed.”
I joined Tessa in a few minutes, and we set out down the hill towards the gardens. They stretched out on the plain in front of the river. I wondered if they’d be ruined if there were a flood. Maybe floods were good for gardens. I had no idea.
“You are glowing,” Tessa pronounced as she looked me over.
I laughed, feeling shy. “Jason’s kind of amazing.”
“You are preaching to the choir, girl.” She clasped my hand. “I’m sure it’s wonderful being close to him like that. But I realize what a responsibility it is, too. Jason’s not, you know, just any guy. He’s pretty much extraordinary. You’ve got to do the best you can to please him.”
She was right. Vaguely, I recalled the way he’d been last night. He’d seemed so vulnerable. I could hardly believe that now, in the sunlight. Jason was too perfect to have been so unsure of himself. Maybe I’d dreamed it. “I hope I’m worthy of doing what I can in his service, is all. Compared to Jason, I’m practically nothing.”
“None of us are anything compared to Jason,” Tessa agreed. She caught my eye, and we giggled, like girls in high school who shared a crush on a teacher. Tessa let go of my hand. We continued our walk down the hill.
“Tessa, I am so grateful that I found you and Garth,” I said. “If I hadn’t, I might never have found Jasontown. You have no idea how much I owe you.”
“You owe me nothing,” said Tessa. “Are you kidding?”
“Have you seen Garth?” I asked.
“Not since we got here,” said Tessa. “I’m sure he’s fine, though. How could you not be fine here?”
She was so right. This place was paradise.
We were greeted at the garden by the field head. She was a woman with thick arms and a double chin. She smiled warmly at us and directed us to the section of the garden we’d be weeding. She showed us which of the plants were the ones we wanted to pull out and which were to be left alone. Enthusiastically, Tessa and I got to work.
“So,” Tessa said as she grasped a weed and yanked it out by its roots, “I know you were having a wonderful time with Jason last night, but you completely missed all the excitement.”
I yanked out my own weed. “Excitement?”
Tessa threw the weed in the pile we were making for weeds. They’d be disposed of later. “Late last night, a group of people who were friends with the guys Jason executed yesterday got really pissed off.”
I paused before tossing my weed. “But why?”
“They thought Jason’s judgment wasn’t fair.”
I threw the weed. “But Jason left it up to the people. It wasn’t even his own decision. They couldn’t blame Jason for that.”
Tessa tugged on another weed. “They were completely irrational. They were saying weird stuff about mind control and how Jason was using people to create an army to fight the OF.”
I made a face as I got hold of the stalk of a weed. “That’s completely stupid.”
“I know. Like Jason wants to fight. He’s like the most peaceful person ever.”
I shook my head. “I can hardly believe it. What happened?”
“The guards had to constrain them. They rounded them all up and shoved them in the barn.” Tessa gestured across the field at the building I’d been put in the first day.
I remembered there were whips on the walls. I realized now why the building needed to be there. The security of Jasontown couldn’t be threatened. There needed to be some way to keep elements like that in line. “They’ll have to be punished. That kind of negativity threatens everyone.”
Tessa nodded. “I think they should be killed, just like the other men. I mean, you should have seen it, Joan. They were threatening violence .” She shuddered.
“I don’t understand how they could do something like that. Here.”
Tessa’s eyes widened, focusing on something behind me.
I turned to see what she was looking at. Jason was advancing towards me. He looked troubled. When he saw that I’d seen him, he stopped walking and beckoned for me. I dropped the weed in my hand and hurried over to him.
Jason put a hand on my back, leading me away. “I need to talk to you,” he said.
“Of course,” I said.
“Did you hear about what happened last night?” he asked me. “About the men who threatened the settlement?”
“Tessa told me. I’m completely flabbergasted.” We were walking away from the gardens, towards the river.
“What do you think I should do?” he asked me, his eyes searching my face.
Why was he asking me? I had no idea. I didn’t make decisions for Jasontown. Jason did. He was wise and powerful and good. I was only...a girl. “Well, what do you think you should do?” I said. “Because whatever it is, I’m sure it’s the right thing.”
Jason looked annoyed. “You don’t have to do that. You don’t have to suck up to me. Tell me what you think.”
“I wasn’t sucking up,” I said, confused that he would think so. “I know that I trust you.”
He sighed. We’d reached the river, so we stopped walking. Jason shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the river. “Of course you’d say that. If you’re under my power, you’d say that.” He scuffed his foot against the dirt, scattering a few pebbles. “And last night, the only reason they weren’t under my power was because making love to you completely wiped me out. I didn’t have the energy to keep it up, and all hell broke loose.”
I smiled. “It is like that. Like I’m under your power. You’re so amazing. It’s almost like a spell. Like magic.”
“Stop it,” he muttered. He glared at me.
Suddenly, I felt like I’d been hit by rush of cold air. It blew everything away from me, stripping away what I felt. My bubble of bliss being this close to Jason burst. I gasped and took a step backwards. “Wha—?”
Jason put out a hand to steady me. “Now,” he said. “What do you think I should do?”
“About the men who tried to hurt you last night?” I said.
He nodded.
My head hurt, but suddenly things did seem clearer. “Well... I guess they were only doing it because you killed their friends. Which, when you think about it, makes sense. It’s got to be terrifying to think that you could be killed for being hungry. They were right to protest against what you did, I think.” I looked up at Jason, feeling my stomach sink. “Jason, why did you kill those men?”
He looked away from me again, back out at the river. “Last night, you said you didn’t think I was a monster. Is that still true?”
“It’s true,” I said, but doubts were beginning to creep into my mind. What was I doing here? Why was I sleeping with this man? He had whips in a barn. He had people killed if they expressed anything besides complete happiness. He had a group of pretty burly guards protecting him. And he had a bunch of people following him around like he was the messiah.
He looked into my eyes. “I don’t believe you.”
I swallowed.
“I won’t lose you again, dammit. I’ll do anything not to lose you.”
Relief flooded my limbs. Happiness bubbled up inside my body. I gazed into Jason’s eyes, the familiar feeling of pleasure surrounding me. I sighed happily. “You won’t lose me, silly.”
“No,” he said. “I won’t.” And he kissed me.
CHAPTER EIGHT
~joan~
The sun hung heavy in the sky, staining the
clouds crimson. I stood on top of the hill outside the A-frame with the other concubines. Under the direction of Lori, we’d all put on what were apparently our festive clothes—white halter tops and flowing white linen pants. In the growing twilight, I gazed down over Jasontown. The roofs of houses glowed, reflecting back the dying sunlight. The grass and gardens had taken on a surreal look, like they belonged on a postcard—something picturesque and pastoral. The air was still warm. The mugginess clung to my bare arms and belly.
Lori had tambourines she was passing out. The other girls were giddy and giggling, flipping their hair as they discussed the evening’s activities. I had no idea what to expect. Jason had called a community gathering around the fire. Already, from below us, in the plain near the river, I could hear the sound of hand drums, the beat echoing off the mountains. I understood that this was going to be something like a party, but I also knew that the reason Jason had called this gathering had something to do with the men who’d caused problems last night. I didn’t think their actions really warranted a party.
I watched the clouds floating over the setting sun. They were heavy and dark, harbingers of a coming storm. I felt wary too. Something strange had happened on the river with Jason today. I couldn’t really remember the details, but I had a clear recollection of an empty, hopeless feeling. Of fear. Why had I felt fear? With Jason? I didn’t know, and I didn’t like it.
Lori gave me a tambourine and pulled me along with her to the front of the group of girls. “You’re going to lead the procession with me. Jason’s orders.”
“Procession?”
She smiled. “We always make a bit of an entrance, us A-frame girls. Follow my lead. You’ll get the hang of it pretty easily.” Lori turned to the other girls. “Ready?”
A series of whoops answered her.
Lori raised her tambourine over her head and shook it. She threw back her head and yelled. The other girls followed suit. Grabbing my hand, Lori took off down the path towards the river. Laughing, I had no choice but to go with her. A chain of screaming, laughing women, we danced and skipped our way down the path. As we descended, the beat of the drums grew louder, and the sun sunk lower.
As we emerged on the plain even with the river, our yells and whoops settled into a chant of sorts. Lori would yell out, “Who loves Jason?”
We would respond, “We do! We do!” Then we’d shake our tambourines. We were in sight of the drums now, and I could see that beyond the gardens, an enormous fire was blazing in the fire pit. The entire community was gathered around it. Some were playing drums. Others had instruments like guitars and banjos slung over their backs. Still others were dancing on the lawn, their feet bare. The rest were all staring at us, our white outfits blazing in the scant light as we ran towards them, laughing and shouting, jingling our tambourines. As we’d closed in on the drum circle, our tambourine shaking had naturally begun to fit into the drumming, finding little spaces in the beats to accent and jingle.
I could see that several large deer had been cleaned and spitted. They hung over the fire, and the smell of roasting meat permeated the air along with the scent of burning wood. The atmosphere was very festive, and I felt my spirits soar with it. Everyone was smiling. Those who weren’t drumming were dancing. Those who weren’t dancing were clapping. We concubines wound around the fire in a circle. I felt as if I was buoyed up by the drums. My body felt liquid. I moved with the drum beat. It resonated through my insides, moving my limbs. It was like the energy of the entire community was flowing through me. I was grinning, and I couldn’t help it.
We reached the other side of the fire and we found Jason. He sat on a makeshift bench—really just a log on the ground—and he was beautiful. He wore a gleaming white linen shirt and white linen pants like our own. On his head, he wore a garland of flowers. He held out his arms to us.
We followed Lori and circled Jason, surrounding him, our tambourines high above our heads, jingling brightly. Somehow, our chant had shifted, and now we were only repeating, “Jason. Jason. Jason.”
The crowd behind us joined in. The swell of voices behind our own was powerful. We were a huge group, a unit, all focused on our leader. Our wonderful, wonderful Jason.
Jason was laughing. He motioned for us to sit down, and the other girls did, settling on the ground around Jason, all gazing up at him adoringly. I tried to do the same thing, but Jason took my arm and pulled me onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around me. I felt safe there. I felt happy.
Jason inclined his head, and the people with stringed instruments picked them up. They exchanged a few glances over the fire and began to play, as if they knew what to play without speaking to each other. Had they practiced this or was there something about being in the presence of Jason that made everyone on the same page? The music was astonishing. Song after song poured out over the company. Some people sang along. Their voices surged, and it was as if they sang the sun to bed. Darkness floated over everything. Stars peeked out in the sky. In the fields around the fire, children danced with their mothers. Men and women danced in each other’s arms. Some of the concubines danced too, weaving around each other with their tambourines. I’d never felt such joy, such togetherness. It was like we were all one body and the drums our collective heartbeat.
After the singing, it was time for eating. We feasted on meat from the fires, on ears of corn roasted in their husks. There was wine and homemade beer. Full and a little tipsy, Jason and I sat together on the bench, gazing into the mesmerizing patterns in the fire. It was beautiful. It was perfect. The drumming began again. Jason pulled me to my feet. We danced in front of the fire. He whirled me and tugged me close, and I gave myself over to the drums, letting them tell my feet where to move.
But eventually, the dance was over. Grateful, I caught my breath and sprawled on the ground.
Jason got up on the log we’d been sitting on and motioned for quiet. Immediately, everyone was silent, staring up at him. “My people,” he said. “As you know, there was another disturbance last night.”
Jason’s guards brought in about ten men. They all had their hands tied behind their backs. And they all looked as if they’d been roughed up a bit. They had scabbed and swollen faces.
Jason pointed at the men. “These men threatened the peace of Jasontown. These men claimed that the punishment that the people of Jasontown demanded of their friends was not fair or just.” Jason looked out over the crowd. “Tonight, I do not ask for your word to punish these men. Tonight, so that all will know that the punishment comes not from me, but from all the people of the community, I will ask you to exact the punishment yourselves.”
What did he mean? How did he expect the people of Jasontown to punish these men?
“Start the drums,” said Jason.
The drumming began again, pounding its ancient rhythms into my skull, speaking to my limbs, asking them to move. Even though I was sore from dancing, I pushed myself to my feet. Around me, others did so too, forming a ring of dancers around the fire.
“Release the men,” Jason yelled.
The guards untied the men and pushed them into the ring of dancers.
I saw the look on one of the men’s faces. He looked terrified. I felt something for a moment, a twinge of sympathy, perhaps, and then it was washed away. Instead, I felt nothing but indignation towards these men. They had threatened the safety of our village and they should be punished for their actions. I felt red and tense, ready for them.
The drums swirled around us, pulsing out primitive beats, driving me forward, driving all of us forward. The men struggled, but we were stronger. It was like a dance, the pummeling, the punching, the crunch of bones, the squirt of blood, the trampling of flesh under our feet. We screamed and yelled. We chanted. Someone had started up the chant that Lori had been leading earlier.
“Who loves Jason?”
Our answers reverberated off the sky as we rained down hundreds of fists on the men who’d dared to try to hurt us.
“We do!”<
br />
And when it was done, the men were dead. In the distance, I heard the roar of thunder. A storm was coming.
* * *
I ran my hand over Jason’s bare chest later in bed. Outside, the rain poured down on the roof of his house, making a comforting patter. I was still a little drunk, and I felt uninhibited, freer than I usually would. He caught my wrist, stopped my hand from going any lower.
“We shouldn’t,” he said.
I looked up at him, feeling a little disappointed.
He planted a kiss on my forehead. “It’s too risky. I can’t afford being too tired to keep up my power. Tonight, the people have to bask in it. If they didn’t have it, they might feel...” Jason scooted up, so that he was propped up on the pillows and gazed down at me. “It’s important.”
I stretched, yawning. I was tired anyway. Whatever Jason thought was best was fine with me. “Do you still want me to stay with you?”
“Of course.” He brushed my cheek with his knuckles.
“Good.” I snuggled into the pillow.
“I guess it’s important, anyway,” he said, but he wasn’t looking at me anymore. Instead he was studying the sheets on the bed. He bunched up the edge in his fists. “Things were so much easier before you showed up. Then, it didn’t matter. I mean, none of it was real back then. Now, everything seems different.”
“Jason, everything’s okay,” I said. “You’re perfect. You make me so happy.”
“That’s it exactly,” he said. “I make you happy. I force you to be happy. Which is a good thing, isn’t it? For people to be happy?”
“It’s a very good thing,” I said, grinning.
“That’s why I did it, you know,” he said. “If I didn’t make an example of those men tonight, then the sickness would spread. Sometimes, I get tired, and I can’t keep up the power constantly. I have to turn it off occasionally to recharge. And during those times, I need people to stay happy. Because if they aren’t, then everything gets bad. Like it did tonight.”
What was he talking about? Tonight had been one of the best nights of my life. I’d been so free and happy. I’d never known I could dance like that. “I didn’t think it was bad.”
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