Split Infinity

by Tony Rattigan

  (Bashee was a game of hitting a small ball with a club and seeing who could hit it the furthest and then get the ball into a small hole, in the least numbers of hits. The activity was invented in Caledonia; history told that it was originally played by knocking the skulls of their defeated enemies around with two long, thigh-bones tied together. Over the centuries it had become a proper game with rules and courses to play on. It had spread first to Albion and then around the world. Several courses had been built around Londum.

  Even Thornton had become a fan. He was always trying to get Cobb to come along to one of his games but Cobb had always refused. Cobb shared the opinion that had been voiced by the Amerigon humorist and novelist, Mark Twang, that it was, ‘A good walk, ruined.’)

  Cobb found himself near the Highlander’s Welcome and as it was near lunchtime went in for a beer and a sandwich. When he had been served with his beer he sat at a table by the window, overlooking the loch, until they brought his sandwich.

  The barman brought his sandwich, two hunks of bread covering thick slices of best Caledonian beef. He opened up the sandwich and covered the beef with a generous helping of Dolman’s Albion Mustard, covered up the sandwich again, took a bite and swallowed. He immediately started choking as he looked out the window and Adele walked by.

  Cobb managed to cough up the partially chewed portion of sandwich and spit it out. Eyes streaming with tears he gulped a few mouthfuls of his beer and managed to get his breath back. Yes it was her, large as life and twice as lovely. This detecting business really was getting easy!

  Abandoning his meal, he went out into the street and discreetly followed her at a distance. She was heading towards the jetty and the Empress of the North. She queued up, paid her fare and went aboard. Cobb joined the queue, paid his sixpence and went aboard also. Despite being late in the season, the boat was full of tourists so he was able to blend into the crowd. The Empress slipped her moorings and chugged its way out into the loch. Cobb positioned himself where he could just see Adele without being seen and took in the view of the loch. This was the one o’ clock boat trip and Cobb was actually looking forward to seeing Duppie, to see if the story was true.

  The steamer chugged along one side of the loch for a few miles and then crossed to the other side and began to return. Approximately half way back to Drumnadrochit, it headed back across the loch again until it reached the middle. Here it reversed its engines and came to a full stop. It sat there, engines idling while the crew began to bring out tubs of fish, which they proceeded to pour over the side of the boat.

  Up on the bridge, one of the crew stepped out with a megaphone. ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to one of the ancient wonders of the world. Since prehistoric times the creature known as the “Loch Dupp Monster” has swum in these waters, only being seen occasionally by man. No one would believe these sightings. Was it a myth? Was it just wild imaginings? The arguments raged on for centuries until finally it was proved beyond doubt to be true.

  ‘Who knows what forced “Duppie” to come out of hiding? Maybe it was the dwindling supply of fish in the loch? But whatever it was, he now knows that every day, at this time; there is an abundance of fresh fish. All he has to do is come and feed. He has become really tame so please feel free to take photographs. He should be coming soon so please watch carefully.’

  The tourists on the boat looked round expectantly until a man pointed and yelled excitedly, ‘There he is, he’s coming!’

  Everyone looked in that direction. Cobb took the opportunity to move closer to Adele until he was standing directly behind her. She was shorter than him, just reaching up to his nose. She wore a bonnet but he could see her dark blonde hair beneath. It was pulled tightly into a bun but for some reason, Cobb could imagine it loose, falling around her shoulders. He could smell her perfume, light and flowery, it reminded him of summer in the park. Get a grip Cobb, he told himself!

  Out in the loch the wake of some approaching object got closer and closer. As the tourists watched, something broke the surface of the water. It was an oval shaped head about four feet long. Large lidded eyes above a snout with two holes for nostrils. There were no ears to be seen, just two holes that presumably led to ear canals.

  The head rose slowly out of the water on a long neck as the thing continued towards the boat. Up and up rose the head, the neck supporting it flaring out as it reached the wide body. The neck was about twelve feet in length.

  Everyone on the boat except the crew crowded along the railing eagerly as the monster approached the boat and began to feed. The creature was dark grey in colour and Cobb would estimate it about forty feet from its head to the end of its tail. It had four flippers, which it used to drive itself through the water with powerful strokes. It feasted on the fish that had been provided, quite unconcerned by all the attention from the boat, happily diving, paddling backwards and forwards past the steamer. People busied themselves taking photographs of this incredible sight. Even Cobb was impressed. It was difficult to believe at first but then crocodiles, alligators and sharks had survived from the prehistoric era, so why not this monster?

  This entertainment went on for some ten or fifteen minutes until the beastie had had enough to eat. With a last flick of its tail it dove deep into the loch and disappeared.

  ‘That’s all for today folks. You can see Duppie again tomorrow if you wish. We hope you enjoyed the trip, we’ll now be returning to shore. Thank you,’ said the crewman with the megaphone. Everyone came away from the railing chatting excitedly about the day’s event. Cobb moved away from Adele, deeper into the crowd where he could still watch her, unobserved.

  The Empress of the North chugged back to the jetty at the edge of the loch and all the passengers disembarked. There were enough people milling around, making their way home, that Cobb was able to follow Adele all the way back to her rented cottage, unnoticed.

  He gave her a few moments to settle in, then strode up to the front door and knocked. There was a pause and then the door swung open, slowly, ‘Yes?’

  ‘Miss Adele Curran?’

  ‘Yes … how can I help you?’

  ‘My name is Cobb, I’m a private detective. I’d like a word with you if I may.’

  ‘I suppose you’d better come in,’ said Adele. She led the way into a small, tastefully furnished, living room and turned to face him. He noticed that she didn’t offer him a chair. ‘Now then Mr … Cobb, was it? What can I do for you? Why do you want to speak to me?’

  ‘Miss Curran, I’ve been hired by your father to find you and make sure you are safe. He’s a little concerned about your sudden disappearance.’

  ‘My father, I see … and you say you work for him? I suppose then that you’ll be wanting this …’ She walked across the room and picked up her bag. She came and stood in front of Cobb while she rummaged in her bag and pulled something out.

  Cobb found himself staring point blank into the biggest damned gun barrel he had ever seen in his life! He swore that he would have to turn his head from side to side to see the walls of the barrel. Of course it was a large handgun but nowhere near as big as his imagination told him it was when seen up this close, i.e. pointing directly at his forehead. It was still big though. With an effort of will he managed to refocus his eyes further along the gun and he saw her knuckles whiten as she slowly squeezed the trigger. Ye Gods, at this range she would take his head off!

  The only thing that saved Cobb was that Adele did not have enough strength in one hand to fire the thing; she had to bring up her other hand and readjust her grip, which gave Cobb time to sweep her arms aside and grab the gun. They struggled for a moment; the gun waving dangerously round the room, before Cobb yanked the gun out of her hands and Adele fell to the floor.

  ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing waving this Street Howitzer around?’ he yelled at her. ‘I’m just here to make sure you’re safe. That’s all!’

  ‘NO YOU’RE NOT! QUIST SENT YOU HERE TO KILL ME AND TAKE IT BACK,’ Adele shouted ba
ck.

  ‘Did you hit your head when you fell or something? Kill you? Take what back? What are you talking about?’

  ‘Wait, wait a minute … you don’t know about it, do you? Who are you again and why are you here?’

  He knelt down so he could look her in the eyes; they were a deep blue he noticed. ‘Like I said, I really am a private detective, I’m not one of Quist’s goons, but he hired me to find you. He told me that he was worried about you disappearing the way you did. I agreed to look for you on the understanding that if I found you and you didn’t want to be found, then that was it, I left you alone and I didn’t have to tell him where you were. That’s it, that’s all I’m here for.’

  He helped her to her feet and then acting on impulse he gave her back her gun. ‘There. Will this make you feel safer? I promise you, I mean you no harm.’

  As she took possession of the gun again she seemed more relaxed as she loosely pointed it in his direction.

  Now then,’ he asked her. ‘Do you want to tell me what’s going on?’

  She looked at the floor, as if embarrassed. ‘There’s nothing going on. I don’t like Quist and left home after my mother died, that’s all. I am a grown woman you know.’

  Cobb was becoming uncomfortably more aware of that the longer he spent in her company. ‘Look, since I’ve been on this case I’ve been beaten up, been in a train crash and I keep getting visitations from some otherworldly trouble maker. Now, I would very much like an explanation of what’s behind all this.’

  ‘Mr. Cobb, I have no idea what you are talking about. I can’t be held responsible for your personal problems, you are in a dangerous profession, you know.’

  ‘Miss Curran, I know you’re in some sort of trouble and I’d like to help. But you’re going to have to be honest with me and tell me what’s happening.’

  ‘I’m sorry, you’re mistaken. The only thing that’s happening is you’re bothering me, please leave before I call the police.’

  Cobb knew that was a bluff but she obviously wasn’t going to open up to him so he said, ‘Very well then, if that’s the way you want to play it. I can’t force you to accept my help but I urge you to think about it. I’m staying at the Highlander’s Welcome, in case you change your mind.’ He reached into his pockets and brought out all the money he had on him. It was a thick bundle of Quist’s money, quite a sum. ‘Here, take this money. It will help you to run. Take it, its Quist’s, so there’s a sort of poetic justice in using his money to hide from him. But you’d better get on the move again. If I can find you, so can somebody else.’

  Adele took the money. ‘So you won’t tell him I’m here then?’

  Cobb shook his head. ‘You have my word. I’ll leave Loch Dupp on the first transport tomorrow and when I get back to Londum I’ll tell him I found you and you are safe. That’s all I promised to do.’

  Adele looked at him and actually smiled.

  Well,’ said Cobb, ‘I’ve done my bit; I’d better be going then. Be safe.’

  He didn’t actually want to go. He had thought about her and studied her photograph so much over the past week or so that now he was face to face with her, talking to her … he didn’t want to leave. But, she obviously didn’t want him around, didn’t need him, so he’d better depart.

  He headed towards the door. ‘Mr. Cobb.’ When he turned round Adele was holding out her hand towards him,’ I’m sorry I tried to shoot you, I guess I misjudged you.’

  He took her hand in his and shook it. It was warm and soft and he was reluctant to let it go but he did and headed out of the cottage, closing the door behind him.

  ***

  It was dark by the time Cobb got back to his hotel. He had spent several hours wandering along the shore of the loch, thinking things over. Cobb had promised Adele that he would leave on the following day but he felt uneasy at the thought of leaving her here, alone. Besides he couldn’t rid himself of the memory of Mrs. Stiverley’s warning about Adele being in danger and needing Cobb’s help. But what was he to do? He could stay but he couldn’t force Adele to accept his help, nor could he just follow her round, keeping an eye on her. Now that she knew his face she would avoid him.

  He entered the Highlander’s Welcome and went into the bar. It was early evening and it was already half full of people. Cobb leaned on the bar and asked for a brandy.

  While the barman poured the drink, he handed Cobb a menu, ‘Would you like some food, mebbe?’

  Cobb studied the menu then looked up as the door to the pub opened. Two little oriental men in grey robes came through the door and made their way to the bar, at the opposite end to where Cobb was standing. They looked exactly like the ones that had beaten him up in Londum.

  ‘Do you ever have Déjà Vu?’ said Cobb to the barman.

  ‘I dinna ken, I could ask the kitchen for you. Mebbe they’ve got some in,’ he replied.

  ‘Forget about it, I’ll just have the drink.’ Cobb sipped his drink and surreptitiously watched the little men. He noticed that after being served with drinks they chose a table that was between Cobb and the door.

  Cobb asked the barman, ‘Who are the oriental guys? I shouldn’t think you get many of them around here?’

  ‘Och no, they’re a travelling troupe of Cantonese acrobats doing a tour round Caledonia. They’ve stopped off here taking a break, I think they’re performing at the Ladinburgh Festival.’

  ‘How long have they been here?’

  ‘Aboot three days, the noo.’

  Three days. Well that settled that, thought Cobb, they hadn’t followed him up here, they had got here before him. That meant they were after Adele, not him.

  Cobb finished his drink and went up to his room. He had checked it out when he arrived at the hotel. There was a flat roof outside his window that led to a nice “climbable” drainpipe. He emptied his bag onto the bed, stuffed what was left of Quist’s money into his overcoat pockets and his revolver into the back of his trousers. The rest of the stuff he could do without.

  He slid up the bedroom window and climbed through it. Quickly crossing the roof he shinned down the drainpipe where he found himself in an alley behind the hotel. He looked around him and then legged it. He made it to the end of the alley before they found him. Two of the men in grey robes blocked the end of the alley and … yep … sure enough … there were two behind him as well.

  One of them threw one of those little, shiny, silver stars at him, which he was just able to dodge in time. Another one jumped in the air and landed in front of him in a fighting stance. Cobb, remembering how well he did last time he faced up to these guys, went for his gun. But before either of them could do anything, a big fist came from nowhere and delivered a blow that lifted the little guy right off his feet. Won Lungh stepped into the alley and hit the other one that was blocking Cobb’s escape, knocking him down.

  Won Lungh grabbed Cobb and dragged him past the two fallen assailants, ‘I take care of these. You find Missee Adele. She in danger. You protect her. I find you later.’

  Cobb ran down the alley but out of curiosity, stopped at the end and looked back. Won Lungh was standing in the centre of the alley swatting his assailants like they were flies. One of them would run at him and the next second go flying through the air. It was like they were bouncing off him. Cobb, who usually took the chance to avoid a fight when he could, ran for it.

  Cobb got to Adele’s house as quickly as he could and banged on the door. ‘Miss Curran! Miss Curran! Open up, it’s Cobb!’

  After a moment, Adele opened up the door, clutching the handgun. ‘What is it? You said you would leave me alone.’

  ‘I know but there’s trouble. Quist’s men are here as well as some little oriental guys who are not friendly to anyone. I think that they’re after you. You have to get out of here, now!’

  Adele looked into Cobb’s eyes and saw that he was serious and deeply concerned. She decided to trust him. She ran into the living room and put the gun and the money Cobb had given her earlie
r into her bag, threw on her overcoat and said, ‘Right, what do we do?’

  ‘We must get away from here. Come on.’ He doused the oil lamp and pulling the door open, peered into the street. It was a clear moonlit night and the lamplighters had been round and lit the oil street lamps. (The town of Drumnadrochit was too far off the beaten path to have a piped gas supply.) Cobb could see clearly in both directions. The street was clear.

  Cobb walked quickly down the cobbled street, Adele close behind. He didn’t know where he was going but he thought that if he got himself and Adele away from the hotel and her cottage, the only places where the Orientals knew they could find them, then it would give him time to come up with a plan. ‘We have to keep moving, that’s the important thing. Get as far away as fast as we can.’

  ‘So how did Quist find me and who are these little oriental men you mentioned?’ asked Adele.

  ‘You tell me, then we’ll both know!’ said Cobb. ‘I’m meant to be on a simple missing person case. Instead I find myself being chased round Caledonia by troupes of travelling acrobats and Master Criminal’s henchmen. Not to mention continually being harassed by some idiot in a clown’s outfit. Is there something you’re not telling me??’ he finished sarcastically.

  ‘No … I don’t know anything about what’s going on. I swear.’

  Cobb could just make out figures approaching in the light from the street lamps. He turned back the way they had come but they were there too. He grabbed Adele’s hand and led her down to the shores of the loch. They walked along the shoreline until they came to some rowing boats. Unfortunately there were two of them. ‘Quick, into the boat,’ he said.

  ‘Where are we going?’ asked Adele.

  ‘Up that hill,’ he said pointing behind him.

  ‘What?’

  ‘It’s a boat! Where do you think we’re going?’

  ‘All right, I only asked!’ said Adele and climbed into the boat.

  ‘The loch is only about a mile across. We should be able to make it.’

  ‘What about that other boat? Can’t we kick a hole in it?’ asked Adele.

  ‘No time unfortunately.’ He pushed the boat out in to the loch and then jumped aboard, grabbed the oars and started rowing out into the loch. They got several hundred yards out when the men who were following them arrived at the second boat. Cobb looked over Adele’s shoulder and could see that they were the oriental guys. This was bad. At least if it was Quist’s men there was the chance they might just be captured and taken back to Londum to face Quist. From Cobb’s experience, these little yellow devils seemed intent on harming them.