Split Infinity

by Tony Rattigan

  ‘But don’t take it too hard. You’ve killed the bad guy, saved the Universe and got the girl into the bargain. What have you got to complain about?’

  ‘But I could have been killed. I mean, I was killed, I mean … oh, I don’t know what I mean, it’s been a long day.’

  ‘Let’s just say you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs and leave it at that shall we? Oh by the way, say hello to Thornton Wells for me will you?’

  ‘But Thornton doesn’t know you, he’d have told me.’

  ‘He doesn’t know me as Harlequin but we’ve met, many years ago. Who do you think gave him the pendant?’

  ‘You were the Holy Man?’

  ‘As I said, I’ve had many names and many faces over the years. You see Cobb, it’s like a game of chess, with years, sometimes decades, between moves. You slowly have to make sure that all your pieces are in the right place at the right time, then … Checkmate!’

  ‘But supposing that Quist hadn’t hired me to find Adele?’

  ‘Don’t worry Cobb, I’d have found another way to involve you, you were necessary to the plan.’

  Adele, who was a teacher with a University education and had had scientific training, had been mulling things over while Harlequin and Cobb spoke. Something was puzzling her and she had to ask Harlequin before he left. ‘What just happened? Exactly what did Cobb just do?’

  ‘What do you mean?’ asked Harlequin. ‘Cobb went back in time to the very beginning and caused the explosion that split the newly created Space/Time Continuum into the multiple Universes that exist now. Everything happened exactly as it was meant to happen. If Quist had gained control of the Dark Matter, that would never have occurred and who knows where we would all be today?’

  ‘But that doesn’t make sense!’ insisted Adele. ‘The multiple Universes already existed! So that means that the explosion had already happened. You’re saying that Cobb had to go back from the existing Multiverse and create the Multiverse. Isn’t that what they call a “paradox?” Where the second event depends on the first event happening but the first can’t take place unless the second has happened?’

  ‘My, you really are clever, aren’t you? You’re right; it’s like the chicken and the egg, isn’t it? Well, that’s the beauty of “Quantum … Temporal … Physics” as it’s called. The mechanics of Time itself. Try not to think about it too much, it will make your brain hurt. Don’t worry; your people will master that science one day. But if you ask me, the height of your civilization’s technological advance was inventing alcohol, but then … that’s just me.’

  Harlequin waved a hand at the door, the bolts slid back and the door swung open. ‘And now it’s time I was going, I have plans to make, schemes to plot, other games of chess to play. Goodbye Cobb, you did very well, I’m glad to see I chose the right man.’

  ‘Well, thank you. Coming from you that really means something,’ said Cobb sarcastically.

  Harlequin smirked at Cobb and then walked over to Adele. ‘And you Dear Lady, it grieves me to have to leave you but I must go now. I wish you both a long and happy life. Who knows? I may look in from time to time to see how you’re doing.’ With that he made an elaborate bow to Adele and while he was still bent forward, faded away. After he had gone completely, his voice came echoing through from somewhere beyond, ‘Take care of her Cobb … I’ll be watching.’

  Cobb looked at Adele and asked, ‘What was that Quanto Tempo Thingy all about?’

  Adele came over to Cobb and put her arm around his waist. ‘Don’t worry about it, I’ll tell you later. Well, I guess after all that, you’ll be wanting a drink then.’

  Cobb looked at her and smiled, ‘No thanks, I don’t think I actually need one right now.’

  Adele also smiled, ‘Good, I’m pleased about that. Well, I don’t know about you dear but it’s been a long day and I’m tired. Why don’t you take me home?’

  Cobb led Adele to the door and up the stairs. At the top of the stairs stood Won Lungh, surrounded by unconscious guards. They had obviously closed on the house to see what was happening, after the Dark Matter had made its existence known by distorting the space around it. ‘I keep them away from you, like you say. Missee Adele, good to see you all right. I worried about you. Tell her, I worried about her,’ he said to Cobb. ‘Where Missa Quist?’

  Cobb just shook his head.

  ‘Good thing. Bad man, hurt his own daughter,’ said Won Lungh, ‘bad man.’

  Cobb had a thought, ‘Won Lungh, can you get me into Quist’s safe?’

  ‘Sure, come with me Missa Cobb, sir.’ He seemed a lot more respectful to Cobb now that he had Adele on his arm. He led them down the corridor into the room where Cobb had his original interview with Quist, when he had hired him to find Adele.

  Won Lungh led them into the room and went to a sideboard. Sliding it aside, he uncovered a safe built into the wall. He quickly opened the safe and stood back.

  Cobb knelt and looked inside. As well as bundles of cash, he saw many ledgers. A quick scan through these showed him they appeared to be records of Quist’s operations, blackmail victims, payoffs made to people in authority, locations of hideouts, the whole shooting match. This would be enough information to smash Quist’s organisation for good, once Cobb put it into the hands of the right people.

  Adele asked, ‘Should we take the money as well?’

  ‘Yes, I think Quist owes me some expenses for this job. As for the rest … well I know a few homeless missions that could use a hand.’

  ‘Won Lungh, can you get me a bag, please?’ Cobb emptied the safe while Won Lungh hurried off and came back a few minutes later with a carpetbag. (It’s a travel bag, made out of carpet, what did you think it was?)

  ***

  Aboard H.M.A.S. Pegasus, Captain Somersby glanced anxiously at his fob watch for the umpteenth time.

  ‘It’s gone twelve o’clock sir,’ said the helmsman.

  ‘I know, we’ll give him a few more minutes though. Gather the men would you?’ Somersby replied and the helmsman leaned over and pulled on a length of rope on the wall that rang a bell in all the other compartments of the airship. It was a summons to the bridge.

  As the men were assembling, Somersby asked the cook to provide mugs for all them and he took a bottle of rum out of the captain’s locker and poured each of them a hefty shot.

  Handing out the mugs to everyone, he took one himself and gathered the men around the wheel so the helmsman could be included and raising his own mug, he said, ‘Okay, you all know why we’re here and what we have to do. So I’d just like to say a toast … To Rufus Cobb.’

  ‘Do we really have to do it sir?’ asked the cook. ‘He seemed a decent man, do we really have to kill him?’

  ‘You’re right cookie, he was a decent man, and that’s precisely why we are going through with this … to honour him. He couldn’t go into too much detail but he did impress on me how important it was to stop whatever was going on in that house tonight. So we will carry out his wishes, both to avenge him and to complete his mission. It’s the best tribute we can give him.’ He raised his mug again. ‘To Rufus Cobb.’

  ‘To Rufus Cobb,’ the rest of the crew echoed his toast and swigged down their rum.

  ‘Right, action stations everyone,’ ordered Somersby. ‘Load the bombs and prepare for the firing order. Helmsman, set a course straight for that house. And bring us down to two hundred feet, we don’t care about being heard anymore.’

  The men left the bridge to carry out their appointed tasks on this death run.

  ***

  As Cobb knelt down and scooped everything into the bag, something in his coat dug into his leg. He rummaged in his pocket to see what it was … and went cold as he pulled out the flare pistol. ‘Oh my Gods! What time is it??’

  Adele looked around the room and spotted a clock. ‘It’s five past twelve, why?’

  ‘Quick! Follow me!’ said Cobb dashing out the room. Adele picked up the carpetbag and she and Won Lungh ran out af
ter him. Cobb threw open the front door and jumped down the steps to the front lawn. He looked up at the sky. He could see a dark cloud approaching and could hear the engine noise of the Pegasus getting louder as it made its bombing run on the house.

  Cobb struggled frantically to cock the flare pistol and fire it, nearly dropping it in his panic. The Pegasus was crossing the park before he managed to fire the flare, right across the nose of the airship. Still she came on, directly for the house.

  ***

  Captain Somersby stood at the front window of the gondola with the speaking tube to the rear bombing compartment in his hand. ‘Okay, this might be a bit tricky in these conditions so wait for my order before letting go.’

  He gnawed on his lip as the tension built inside him. Despite his speech to the men, he still felt like he was shooting a friend in the back. However, like all good leaders, he had told the men what they needed to hear, to be able to carry out their mission.

  ‘Steady men, steady, we are just leaving the park … crossing the boundary wall, standby to release load … 5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … Good Gods!’ he exclaimed as the red flare arced across his vision, in front of the airship. ‘HOLD FIRE! HOLD FIRE! DO NOT FIRE! ACKNOWLEDGE!’ he yelled into the speaking tube but was it too late?

  ***

  As the airship came over the wall of the estate, Cobb pushed Adele to the ground and threw himself over her. He lay there covering Adele’s head and his own. Nothing went BANG! and as Cobb lay on the lawn thinking, Not again! How many times can you die in one day? he heard the steam engine of the airship pass over the house and recede into the distance.

  Cobb got shakily to his feet, that had been too close. He helped Adele up from the ground. ‘What was that all about?’ she asked. ‘What just flew overhead?’

  ‘Erm … some friends were going to drop in but I told them we weren’t accepting visitors. Won Lungh, do you have any transport here?’

  ‘I bring round coach.’

  ***

  The men in the bomb compartment acknowledged Somersby’s order to hold their fire and then awaited further instructions.

  ‘By the Gods, that was too close,’ said Somersby and went and poured himself another shot of rum. After he swigged it down he ordered the helmsman to circle around to see if they could fathom what was happening down there. Was it Cobb who fired the flare or possibly his opponent? They would soon find out, they still had the option to bomb the place if they didn’t like what they saw.

  Speaking onto the speaking tube he called two of the men up to the bridge. ‘Right, you open the door and you shine the spotlight onto the house. Let’s see what’s going on down there.’

  They hastened to obey.

  ***

  Adele and Cobb waited at the front of the house while Won Lungh harnessed the horses. While they were there, they heard the Pegasus circling overhead, coming lower and lower. Suddenly a searchlight shone out and tracked its way across the lawn until it picked out Cobb and Adele.

  ‘What the …?’ said Adele.

  Cobb said, ‘May I present His Majesty’s Air Ship Pegasus; I hitched a lift down from Caledonia with them. Good bunch of lads.’ He stepped forward into the centre of the light and waved to the men of the airship. They obviously recognised him, as the light blinked on and off slowly a few times, in acknowledgement. Then he heard the engines increase in power and the Pegasus rose up until she vanished into the dark night.

  ‘You’ve got some interesting friends,’ said Adele.

  ‘Oh wait … it gets better!’

  ***

  ‘Okay lads, secure the light and close the door,’ ordered Somersby. The men did as they were told and then Somersby asked them to fetch the others. When they were all gathered around the helmsman once again, he gave them all a hefty shot of rum and congratulated them on their performance tonight.

  ‘You stood ready to do your duty, however unpleasant it may have been and for that I am proud of you. Fortunately we weren’t called on to take the life of a friend, for that we can all be thankful.’

  There were mutters from the crew, agreeing with him.

  ‘Okay helmsman, let’s go home. Set course for Chatham dockyards, full speed ahead.’ Although he couldn’t be seen by Cobb, he waved goodbye and wished him luck.

  ***

  Won Lungh brought the coach round. He jumped down to the ground, handed the reins to Cobb and then went and stood at the bottom of the steps. Cobb helped Adele into the carriage and threw the carpetbag in after her.

  Cobb was about to climb up into the driver’s seat and ride off when he caught Adele looking at him with an unspoken plea in her face. He turned around and saw Won Lungh standing by the steps, looking strangely lonely and forlorn.

  Cobb looked at Adele and, knowing it wouldn’t be the last time, gave in to her. Wordlessly, he held out the reins to Won Lungh, who came running up to him, a big grin on his face. He took the reins, ushered Cobb into the carriage, closed the door behind him and climbed up into the driver’s seat. With a flick of the reins, they were off.

  Chickens, Coming Home to Roost

  Cobb woke up late that afternoon. He had brought Adele and Won Lungh back to his house in London, where he had shown Adele into the guest room. Then he had offered Won Lungh the sofa in the living room. Then he had gone gratefully to bed himself and slept a long, dreamless sleep. He’d had a really long day. (It had actually spanned billions of years but who’s counting?)

  He arose, washed and dressed and went downstairs. He found Adele in the living room, sitting on the sofa stroking the cat.

  ‘Good afternoon,’ she said brightly as he entered the room. ‘I was beginning to think we’d have to hold a séance to get through to you.’

  ‘What’s up with the cat, he seems a bit docile? Is he all right?’ Cobb stretched out a hand to touch Lucifer who hissed at him and swung a paw, with outstretched claws at him, which he narrowly avoided. ‘Oh no, he’s seems his usual self.’

  ‘He’s lovely. What’s his name?’ The cat snuggled himself into Adele’s lap and sneered at Cobb

  ‘Lucifer.’

  ‘Oh come on, that’s not his real name,’ said Adele.

  ‘Tiddles?’

  ‘Cobb!’

  ‘Oh okay then, it’s Saladin.’

  Adele picked up the cat and looked into his eyes, ‘Saladin, there’s a noble name for such a distinguished cat!’ The cat looked at Cobb as if to say, ‘There you are, at last someone who can recognise feline nobility.’

  ‘How did you get him to be so friendly?’ asked Cobb. ‘Did you talk to him with your mind, you know, like you did with those rabbits?’

  ‘I didn’t need to. He just came to me as soon as he saw me and demanded a cuddle. He obviously knows a friendly soul when he sees one.’

  ‘Talking of friendly souls, where’s Won Lungh?’

  ‘I sent him out to buy some food. Your cupboards were practically empty, except for bottles of alcohol, that is. Fancy some tea? I’ve made a pot.’

  ‘Yes please, that would be nice,’ said Cobb, anxious to change the subject from his supply of booze. ‘You know, that poultice you put on my shoulder in Caledonia worked wonders, the scar has gone completely.’

  Adele looked at him curiously. ‘And that’s not all,’ she said. ‘All your grey hairs have gone. I thought it was a trick of the light when I saw it last night but I can see clearly now that you don’t have any, anymore.’

  Cobb got up and went to look at himself in the mirror above the fireplace. ‘Good Gods, you’re right,’ he exclaimed. He stared at his reflection for a moment then something occurred to him and he pulled the sleeve back on his left arm. He showed Adele the smooth, unmarked skin on the inside of the arm. ‘I had a two inch scar there. I did it years ago climbing over a fence. Now that’s gone too.’

  ‘So it looks like whoever did this, didn’t just let you come back from Limbo or wherever it was that you went to, they created a whole new body for you. A better body.’

&n
bsp; ‘Well if this isn’t my body, I’m wearing someone else’s underpants!’ he said, slightly alarmed.

  ‘No, it is your body, it’s just not the one you had before,’ explained Adele.

  ‘Well I hoped they fixed up my liver as well while they were at it. That has seen some hard times, so a new one of those would be fine.’

  He decided that as there was nothing he could do about it even if he wanted to (which would be silly really as he’d actually ended up better off) he wouldn’t worry about it. He sat down to finish his tea.

  ‘So what are your plans now?’ he asked Adele.

  ‘I haven’t had time to think about that yet, things have been happening too fast. I need a few days to catch my breath and think things through.’ She looked at Cobb, hesitantly.

  Cobb flushed and said, ‘Well you could … er …’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Well I was thinking … that is, I was wondering …’

  ‘Wondering?’

  ‘Perhaps you could stay here for a few days? Just while you sort yourself out.’

  ‘Why yes, that would be nice.’ She rushed on nervously, ‘But just for a few days…I don’t want to impose.’

  ‘No, no … it wouldn’t be an imposition I assure you,’ babbled Cobb.

  ‘Good, that’s settled then, I accept your offer.’

  ‘Fine, that’s the plan then.’

  They sat there in silence for a moment, Adele stroking Lucifer and Cobb stirring his tea, both trying to act nonchalant and not show what they were thinking. They were saved by the sound of the front door opening. Cobb got up to go to the door and met Won Lungh entering the room carrying a basket of groceries.

  ‘Oh, you awake. Hello Missee Adele, I go fix some food for us. Come on kitty, I got nice fish for you.’

  Lucifer leapt down from Adele’s lap and obediently followed Won Lungh out of the room and off towards the kitchen. What is it with that cat? Cobb wondered. How come he seems to like everyone, except me?

  ‘Er … does he know how to use a kitchen?’ asked Cobb dubiously.

  ‘Of course he does. What do you mean?’