Perfectly Imperfect Mine

by Amelia Shea

  “Uh, no. No party, just the cake.” Sadie was feeling a little uneasy again. Her mom never let her have birthday parties and Sadie got the feeling that Darla made sure Roxanne never missed one.

  “Oh! Well, Sadie, that’s a great story! And I love that you got the cake of your dreams for your ninth birthday.”

  “Me too!” She smiled back. It wasn’t much but it was a great memory.

  Ethan and Roxanne headed back to their apartment while Sadie cleaned up the mess. Roxanne offered to help but Sadie insisted it was the least she could do. She relented, gave her a hug, and went back to her place. Ethan followed behind Roxanne with a wave and a look Sadie couldn’t quite explain. He looked hopeful? She waved back and cleaned up while Stone, T, and Bogs were in T’s room. She wished she had known T lived with Stone. Stone never mentioned it. However, that explained why T was in the apartment the other morning. Now her mind centered on T’s room. While she wasn’t intentionally snooping, she did go into a closed room and open up the laptop. She had to tell Stone. She wasn’t a dishonest person and didn’t want him to find out before she could tell him. She was thinking of a way to broach the subject when they came out of T’s room.

  *

  Stone stood in T’s room with arms crossed, body rigid, staring at the monitor. With Bogs sitting at the desk and T next to him, they watched Sadie enter T’s room. She looked around and turned to the computer. She walked over hesitantly and opened up the screen. Stone’s body became tense.

  “What file?”

  T took a breath and sighed. “Cavanaugh.”

  “Shit!” Stone hissed through gritted teeth.

  Stone intently viewed the monitor. Sadie scrolled through the file and stopped. She was obviously reading it. Stone was mad. Why would she come into T’s room? There had to be a reason, Sadie wasn’t the kind to snoop around. Was she?

  As he watched, he saw something change in Sadie’s face.

  “Zoom in on her, Bogs,” he demanded.

  Bogs punched a few keys and Sadie’s face took up the whole screen. He looked at her tear filled eyes. Her face became sadder as he watched her scroll down the screen. She was reading the news articles, he bet. She was reading about Macey. Tears fell from her eyes. Then, her sad eyes suddenly changed to surprise.

  “This is when Ethan messaged. He thought you guys were back,” Bogs stated.

  Sadie looked shocked and surprised and if he wasn’t mistaken, guilty. She jumped back from the screen and looked around the room. When she turned back to the screen she looked scared. Then the screen went black.

  “I shut it down when I thought the line was compromised,” Bogs explained.

  Stone stood silent with the others waiting on him. He was conflicted. He trusted Sadie and she betrayed him by sneaking around digging through their stuff.

  “Whattya wanna do, man?” T asked.

  Stone kept his eyes on the dark screen. He didn’t know what he wanted to do. How much did she piece together? Would the information she got be enough or would she continue to dig?

  Bogs shook his head and sighed. “I like her bro, ya know I do but…how much do we really know about Sadie besides what’s in her file?

  As much as it angered him to hear it, Bogs was right. He didn’t know her all that well, did he?

  T spoke again in a low voice. “Look, she didn’t know this was my room; that was obvious tonight, right? Give her a chance to explain.”

  Stone nodded. Bogs stood up and slapped Stone on the back as he passed by. He was sure they all had the same thought. They were all hoping she had a good reason for being in T’s room.

  Stone followed Bogs out of the room with T at his back. Once in the kitchen, he saw her drying her hands. She looked over her shoulder and smiled at him.

  “See you tomorrow! Sadie, sweetheart, have a good night and please don’t trash any more furniture!” Bogs walked out as he waved to Sadie.

  “Good night.” Stone watched her face flush with embarrassment. Bogs would never let her live this down.

  Stone came over to her and touched her hand. Sadie grabbed his and followed him back down the hall. T was behind her. Sadie turned around as she pulled Stone’s hand back to get his attention. They were at T’s bedroom door. T walked in and turned around to look at them. He raised his brows, waiting on Sadie to say something.

  “Babe, what’s up?” Stone asked her. She seemed nervous the way her eyes darted between him and T. Sadie inhaled a deep breath and gripped his hand. She looked at Stone.

  “Last night, after everybody left, I was heading down to your room when I heard a beeping sound. It was coming from this room. T’s room,” Sadie pointed into the room and directed her words to T, “but I had no idea this was your room, I swear. Stone didn’t mention you guys shared. I swear, T, I didn’t know and if I did there’s no way I would have gone in.” She finished with a gulp.

  T’s eyes shot to Stone. He kept his stare hard but Stone knew what he was thinking. Give her a chance to explain.

  “You came in my room?” His face showed definite signs of anger but Stone knew he was doing it for show.

  “I did. The computer was beeping and blinking and I know I shouldn’t have done it, I opened up the laptop. I’m sorry. I saw the information on the job you guys were doing. I closed it when I realized what it was.” The last part was a lie, Stone thought. But the rest was the truth.

  Sadie looked to Stone. She was sorry, he could read it in her eyes. She squeezed his hand and he squeezed. T walked over to the door and looked back at Sadie.

  “Okay. Don’t do it again,” he calmly stated.

  “I promise I won’t.”

  He nodded, glanced at Stone, and shut the door. Stone walked backward pulling Sadie’s hand leading her into his room. Sadie stared at him and mouthed, “I’m sorry.” Stone held her stare and lifted his chin in acknowledgement.

  Stone’s phone chimed. A text. He grabbed it from his pocket and looked over to Sadie.

  “Go ahead, get in bed.” Stone gestured to the bed.

  She nodded and walked over to the bed. Stone touched his phone and read the text.

  Bogs: Plane ticket? Only one left, you want me to get it?

  Stone looked over to Sadie as she stripped down to her bra and panties and slid into bed. She must have felt his eyes on her because she looked over at him. Her gaze was unsure, she seemed to not know if he was mad at her or not.

  Stone typed into his phone.

  Stone: Get it

  He tossed the phone on his night stand and climbed into bed with Sadie.

  Chapter 15

  The heart wants what it wants. That phrase never made much sense to her. To Sadie, it had always been an excuse others used to make reckless and careless choices. It was one of her mom’s favorite phrases. She dated married men—the heart wants what it wants, Sadie—or she moved her young daughter miles away from the only family they had to chase after a man. “The heart wants what it wants.” All those poor decisions blamed on a heart. Her phrase should have been the heart wants what it wants even though the mind knows better, but that was her mom.

  Sadie was lying awake on her side drawing circles on Stone’s chest as he slept. She had her head propped up on her hand as she watched him. He looked so peaceful and vulnerable. She’d never watched anyone sleep, it was soothing. He was completely still under her hand as his heart beat. Sadie watched his face. You could really observe someone while they were sleeping. No fear of getting caught staring. He had a strong brow line with dark eyebrows. High cheekbones and full pink lips. She studied his scar from his eye to his cheek. Up close she saw that it wasn’t deep, it led into his stubble. She reached out and gently stroked his face, fingers gliding down his scar.

  She was going to miss him. Sadie knew she should have walked away. With only three days left, she was bound to fall harder for him but she just couldn’t leave. She wanted to spend as much time with him until it was over. Maybe it was true what they said, the heart wants what it want
s. And her heart wanted Stone.

  He stirred a bit from her touch but didn’t wake up. She grazed her hand down his neck and chest and lowered her hand to his cock underneath the sheet. Sadie lightly skimmed her finger on his hard erection as she looked up to his face. He was still asleep. Sadie pushed the sheet down further to his thighs and saw his morning erection. God, he was big. She circled his balls gently with her palm and slid back up to his cock. She stroked him slowly. As she continued to stroke, his breathing got heavier. She looked up to see his eyes still closed.

  She caressed him a few more times before she slid down and gave the crown a soft lick. He moaned softly and she did it again. She swirled her tongue around the head and then took his entire length down her throat. She did this again before taking a slow steady rhythm of driving him in and out between her lips. His hand dove into her hair and caressed her scalp.

  “Mmmmm, that’s so fucking good. Your mouth is so hot!” He groaned.

  He was now fully awake and moving his hips a little faster. He was taking control. However, Sadie wasn’t ready to give it up just yet. She pulled back releasing him and licked down to his balls. She took one in her mouth and lightly sucked. His hips shot off the bed as he shouted. “Fuck Sadie!”

  She did the same with the other one as she stroked his cock with her hand. Sadie rose back up and took him completely between her lips and quickly started to bob while her tongue dragged along the underside of his cock.

  "Fuck! Babe, I’m gonna come.”

  She could feel his body tense as he panted wildly. Her lips covered him again and she took him down her throat once more. He groaned loudly. His hand tightened in her hair and he shot hot jets down her throat as he pumped in her mouth. His groaning and jerking slowed down and she released him. His sleepy eyes gleamed down at her as she licked her lips.

  Sadie always made Tyler pull out before he came; she never wanted that in her mouth. But with Stone, she wanted him, every part of him. It was hot!

  Sadie crawled up his body until he yanked her onto him and her face went into his neck. His hands caressed her back down to her ass and he whispered, “That’s the way a man should wake up every morning.” He slapped her butt.

  “Hey!” She screeched and she pulled away from him but he grabbed her waist and pulled her back on top of him. They lay in silence just breathing together. She lightly traced the scar on his face. His face was serious watching hers.

  “How did this happen?” Sadie asked softly.

  “My first tour, hand to hand combat. I was sucker punched, guy had a knife, and I never saw it coming. Got lucky though, an inch closer and I would have lost my eye.” He solemnly stared back at her as she continued to caress his face. She remained silent.

  “Does it bother you?”

  “No! I think you’re perfect.”

  “Not even close to fucking perfect.” He snorted.

  She leaned into him until they were nose to nose. “Perfectly imperfect.” Her lips hovered on his to seal their kiss. It was sweet and pure. Sadie backed away and cuddled into his chest again. She loved being in his arms. He covered her in his embrace.

  “Did you like being a marine?” Sadie asked.

  “It was good for me. And T. We joined together after we graduated high school. We were assigned to the same unit.”

  “How long were you enlisted for?”

  “Four years, my first stint and then a two year gig in special ops.”

  “Wow!” Sadie paused. “I bet your mom and dad were proud.”

  “They were. Although, my mom refused to talk to me and T for one week straight after we enlisted.” He laughed.

  “Awww…she was just worried about her boys I’m sure.”

  Stone laughed. “Yeah. She was worried, that’s why she sent each of us a letter every day in boot camp.”

  “That’s sweet,” Sadie whispered.

  They lay in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

  “That was a sweet story last night.” He paused. “You didn’t have much sweet in your life, did you?”

  “I had enough,” Sadie whispered.

  “You deserved more.”

  She stayed silent. She hadn’t really told Stone anything about her. Yet she felt as though he knew her. How did she let someone in that she knew she was going to lose?

  She propped her head up on her hand and stared down at him. His green eyes met hers and she gave him a mischievous grin. “How do you know I deserved sweet, huh? I could have been a bratty nasty little kid.”

  His eyes remained serious and stared deep at her.

  “You were a sweet girl. You were shy and quiet, a good girl. You were the kind of kid parents wished for, dreamed of. But you didn’t have sweet. You never volunteered to join in with the other kids unless you had to. You never made close friends. You didn’t let anyone in. You smiled a lot but there was sadness behind your eyes. Your mom was hardly around. She fed you and she clothed you. She did the minimal requirements a mother has to do but she didn’t give you sweet. No hugs and kisses and bedtime stories. You were left alone a lot even when you were too small to be alone,” he said solemnly.

  He held her stare until Sadie dropped her head down to his shoulder. She couldn’t look him in the eye. He kissed her head. She remained silent taking it all in.

  “You did almost everything on your own. You hardly complained and you did what your mom told you to do. You made sure no one ever got too close. You learned to fade into the background.”

  A tear rolled down her face onto his shoulder. He was right. Everything he just said was completely true. She was that little girl but she never felt sad about it as a kid. Sadie wanted things, lots of them. She wanted her mom to be like other moms who played with their kids and hugged them, showed them real love. But she didn’t realize what she had missed until she was much older. Hearing Stone talk about her as a child made her sad. Sad for a sweet little girl who missed out on so much. She never felt sorry for herself. That was how her life was, others had it far worse. But now the sadness washed over her for that little girl.

  “How do you know all this stuff?” Sadie cuddled deeper into his side.

  He hugged her tighter and one hand held her hip while the other caressed her arm. He took a deep breath.

  “That night I gave Bogs your ID, told him I wanted everything. He got me everything. I knew your background, your mother’s, every doctor visit, which were not enough for a child by the way. Transcripts from school, other stuff. I was looking for a police record or a pick-up as a kid but you had none of that. You were a good girl, Sadie. I did, however, come across your file from children’s services.” He stated the last part but it was meant as a question.

  Sadie remained silent.

  “A teacher reported you to social services after you came in with bruises to your arms and hands. The social worker checked it out, spoke to you, and it was filed as an accident.”

  “It was. An accident I mean. I was riding a bike my mom’s boyfriend at the time grabbed from the garbage and fixed up for me. It was great. It was rusty and old but he fixed it up and even added a new basket and bell. I loved that bike. I rode it everywhere in the trailer park. One day in February I was riding it and I hit a sheet of ice and flew off.” Sadie smiled at the memory.

  “That was the same story that was in the report. Your file continued on until you turned eighteen. Did you know that?” he inquired.

  She shook her head. She didn’t.

  “Yeah, well, she couldn’t prove any abuse. Not physical or verbal. She wrote in your file that not loving a child should be a crime. I got the impression that she watched and waited for your mom to fuck up legally. She wanted to give you a family that would love you, take care of you, and give you sweet. She wanted that for you, Sadie, because it’s what every child deserves.” His voice was filled with emotion.

  Another tear fell from her eyes. Sadie spent so much time watching others that she didn’t see anyone watching her. Her heart grew heavy kno
wing someone was watching out for her. Sadie hugged Stone as deep as she could and lifted her lips to his ear.

  “I’m glad you had sweet, Stone. I wish you still had it, your mom sounds like she was an amazing, loving woman.” She sighed.

  “She was.” He leaned back and cupped her jaw. “But I got sweet back in my life and I’m never letting you go.” He touched his lips to Sadie’s in a long tender kiss.

  They spent the rest of the morning in bed. They talked about everything. He told her more about his time in the Marines with T. He didn’t go into too much detail but he told Sadie they were some of the hardest days of his life. He saw combat during his tours.

  “It was hard to be away from my family for so long. I had T with me and it helped. But I saw things…I saw things I’ll never forget. It changed me, I came home different. We lost so many guys…” Sadie watched as Stone stared at the ceiling. He looked lost in a thought or maybe a memory.

  “Well, I’m glad you came home safe.” Sadie hugged him deeper.

  He said nothing more about his time in the Marines and she didn’t ask. He talked about growing up with his biological mom.

  “She was really young when she had me and an addict. I was placed in foster care more times than I was in her care. But I couldn’t be adopted because she refused to relinquish her rights. You fucking believe that shit. That selfish bitch.” He paused. “Anyway, by the time she was sent back to jail for ten years, I was too old to be adopted. Most people want babies. My time had come and gone.” He snorted and his eyes lightened. “Or so I thought.”

  Sadie loved hearing about Stone with his mom and dad. He was their first foster child when he was eight. Two years later they adopted him when his mom finally gave up her rights. Darla and John showed him love, honesty, and discipline. They adopted Bogs and then Ethan and Roxanne. Six months later, T came into the mix and the family was complete. He talked about T being distant at first. But his demeanor changed by one simple statement from Darla after they had signed the adoption papers. She said, “T, we had been waiting for you, finally we have the missing piece to this family puzzle.”