Perfectly Imperfect Mine

by Amelia Shea

  “People have to be arrested for you to find them?” Sadie asked, gauging his reaction. She watched his eyes for a sign of deception.

  “Yeah,” he said suspiciously.

  “So, what did that guy Cavanaugh do then? Why was he arrested?” Sadie watched his eyes grow intense. This was not the intense she had seen before. This was not lustful intense, this was intense fury.

  “Why?”

  Sadie flinched slightly at his tone and shrugged.

  “All you need to know is that is my business and you need to stay out of my fucking business, you got me?” He growled as he pushed her off his lap and onto the couch. He got up and walked to the kitchen.

  “I just want to know what he did. It’s public knowledge when someone gets arrested, what’s the big deal?” Sadie was pushing him, she knew it. He was getting angrier by the second.

  He ran his hand through his hair to his neck where it stayed. His back was to her. She could feel the tension radiate through the room. They remained in silence while she tried to figure out why he had gotten so mad and what he was hiding. Sadie knew something wasn’t right about this situation but she didn’t think it would start a fight.

  “Why are you getting so upset?” she asked evenly. She didn’t want to make him angrier.

  “Because it’s none of your goddamn business!” he roared from across the room.

  Sadie jumped back at his tone. His words were like a slap to her face, filled with rage. Watching his tense body tremor, she knew he was hiding something. Sadie walked slowly over to him. She didn’t want this to come between them but they couldn’t base their relationship on lies. Whatever this was, they could work through it. She was willing to work through it if it meant being with Stone. She was two feet away when she halted at his words.

  “Shit! I won’t lie to you, Sadie.” He sounded defeated. He looked down, his hands on his hips.

  “Stone, I…”

  “I fucking knew this wouldn’t work. I knew better. Fuck!”

  Sadie took another step forward.

  “This isn’t going to work. I can’t…” His defeat turned to wrath. “Fuck! We’re done. This is over!” He straightened to full height with his back to her.

  “What?”

  “This is over, I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this.” He was calm but she could almost hear the regret. She knew she could. He turned to the door and stepped forward.

  “Wait! You’re leaving? Just like that? Stone, talk to me, just talk. ” This couldn’t be it. One argument and it was over?

  He stayed silent and turned to her. His eyes were filled with sadness. She knew what was coming. She held back her tears waiting for him to speak.

  “It’s over, Sadie! You and me, it’s not going to work for me,” he said, and walked out the door.

  The tears fell.

  He was gone.

  *

  He slammed the door behind him and stopped. All he could hear was Sadie crying. Her sobs grew louder. He turned and gripped the door handle to go back in. The sound of her gasping for breath between sobs was ripping his heart out. He couldn’t this, not to her, not to him. Not to them. He would just explain it all, come clean about his job and about Cavanaugh and Shaw. He would put it all out there. His breaths were deeper and his body shuddered. You can do this, he chanted to himself. His forehead came down to rest on the front door. He could still hear her crying. He caused those tears. But he couldn’t be the cause of anymore.

  He had to leave her. He cared for her that much, he had to walk away. After the shit that went down last night. Shaw. He knew she would keep digging until she found out the truth. All of it. If he didn’t tell her, she would eventually find out. He couldn’t let her know everything, see everything. This job, what he did was his choice. He wasn’t going to take Sadie into his world, he couldn’t. She deserved better than what he saw. His Sadie deserved sweet, and the only way he could give her that was to walk away.

  Stone released the handle and rushed down the deck stairs to his truck. He jumped in and started the truck. He threw the car in reverse and took one last look at the trailer.

  Bye, baby…

  Chapter 17

  Stone had called T on the way back from Sadie’s. They were all to meet in his apartment in fifteen minutes. When Stone arrived, they were all there. He walked in and found Bogs, T, and Roxanne on the couch and Ethan in the kitchen on a call.

  “Hey, what’s up?” Roxanne asked.

  “We need to head home tonight, the earlier the better. I’ll cover everyone’s cost of changing the flights.” He looked at their stunned faces. Even T looked a bit confused.

  “Wait, what? Why?”

  Stone turned to Roxanne. “I need to get back to Houston.”

  “And you can’t wait a day? What’s the rush?”

  Stone ignored her question and looked over to Bogs. “Make it happen, I want the next available flight.”

  Ethan had finished his call and now joined his brothers and sister in the living room. He didn’t say a word, he just stood and observed.

  “Wait a minute, hold up, Stone. Is this about last night? Because everything’s done, Trent took care of it.” Roxanne got up from the couch and walked over to Stone. Her confusion was obvious, as well as her concern.

  “Exactly, the job is done, it’s time to go home.” Stone turned toward the hall. He needed to get away from their eyes and their questions.

  Bogs called out, “So am I changing all the tickets?”

  Stone stopped and balled his fists. He answered without turning around. “Just ours, Sadie’s not coming.” He continued down to his room with Roxanne’s voice fading into the back. “What? What happened?”

  Stone grabbed his bag from the closet and started packing his clothes from the dresser. He packed all four drawers and headed to the closet when he noticed Ethan standing in the doorway. Stone scowled at him. “Not talking about it, man.”

  “Okay.” Ethan’s tone was low and calm.

  He stood there for the next few minutes while Stone grabbed his things from the closet and loaded them into his bag. Neither one of them said a word. Stone grabbed everything from his nightstand, tossed it into his bag and zipped it up. He was done.

  Stone turned to Ethan, who was still standing silently at his door just watching.

  “Not talking about it.” Stone growled in anger.

  Ethan nodded. “I heard you the first time, Stone. You don’t want to talk about it, I know.” Ethan walked into the room and stopped a foot away from him. Stone glared at him.

  “Do you believe in what we do?”

  Stone jerked back slightly, his brows scrunched. “You know I do, what the hell kind of question is that?”

  Ethan nodded again, face completely calm. “So do I. So does everyone in that living room. Everyone we work with, work for, they too believe in what we do. They understand.”

  “I know what you’re getting at and I told…” Stone snapped.

  Ethan held up his hand. “I know, you don’t want to talk about it.” He turned to walk away but stopped when he reached the door, he looked back at Stone.

  “It’s none of my business but I’m going to say it anyway. You’re making a mistake.”

  Stone glared back at Ethan.

  “You know I’m right.” Ethan walked out the door and Stone was left staring at the empty space.

  He clenched his teeth to almost the point of pain, his whole body tensed in anger. He grabbed the lamp from the nightstand and threw it against the wall. “Fuck!”

  * * * *

  Monday was a blur. She moped around her place trying to keep herself from driving over to Stone’s. She cleaned everything—her closet, the cabinets, and the fridge. By the time four o’clock rolled around her trailer had never been so clean.

  Sadie sent Stone four text messages.

  Sadie: Please talk to me.

  No response.

  Sadie: Stone, please, I’m sorry.

  No respons
e.

  Sadie: If we could just talk, please call me.

  No response and no call.

  Sadie: I miss you

  No response.

  It was over, all over something so trivial. She wanted to know but she didn’t need to know. If he wanted her to know about business he would have told her. But she knew deep down it wasn’t just the fight. She had been foolish to think he would stay. Stay for her. He was leaving tomorrow. He had needed to end it. She just gave him the out. He got off easy, she thought.

  She told herself it was a stupid idea but she did it anyway. She drove over to Stone’s place. She yelled at herself to turn around, calling herself pitiful. He doesn’t want you anymore. It’s over. Turn around now! But she didn’t, the heart wants what it wants. Sadie had become her mother. Even that thought didn’t have her turning around.

  Sadie was parked at his apartment staring up at his balcony. None of the trucks or cars were in the parking lot but there was a light coming from the apartment. She should just go home. This was bound to end badly for her. She didn’t even know what she was going to say to him. She should go home but she didn’t.

  Sadie walked through the garden and up the stairs to the second floor. On the landing, she saw Ethan and Roxanne’s door closed but Stone’s was open. She edged toward the doorway when a big tall man with his back to her almost slammed into her. She jumped out of the way as he muttered, “Excuse me.” He and another guy were removing the soiled couch. The other man nodded at her and she watched them take it down the stairs. The door was still open.

  Sadie peeked in to see a woman with jeans and cowboy boots and a ponytail holding up her red hair. She looked around the apartment quickly.

  “Sadie?” a soft voice asked. Sadie looked up to see it was Jill from the other night.

  “Yeah. Hi, Jill.” She smiled nervously as she looked around again.

  “They’re gone?” She hoped she sounded indifferent but her face must have covered her sadness too well. Jill look surprised and then uneasy

  “Yeah. Stone didn’t tell you? They left early.” She looked extremely uncomfortable as she spoke.

  Sadie shook her head. He left early. He couldn’t get away from her fast enough.

  “Oh. T asked me to let the movers in for the new couch. Damn, I’m sorry, Sadie, I feel awful. Are you okay?” She sounded genuinely concerned.

  Sadie nodded and took a deep breath. It was over and done. No more tears. It was time to move on. She planted a smile on her face.

  “I’ll be fine, Jill. Thanks! Hey, come in and see me at the diner and I’ll hook you up with a free lunch.” She tried her best to sound normal, even chipper.

  Jill’s smile told her she didn’t buy Sadie’s act but she didn’t say it. “Sounds awesome, Sadie!”

  Sadie waved bye and headed to her car.

  It was over.

  Chapter 18

  She wasn’t living life, she was merely surviving it. Completely content with her day-to-day routine, then in walked a man who changed everything. Turned her life upside and rattled her to her core. Showed Sadie a life she’d been missing, feelings she’d only read about, emotions she had never expressed. Gave her the safety and protection of someone who truly cared, something she’d never had before. Sadie finally started living, really living.

  Then it was gone!

  It was the Wednesday morning before Thanksgiving. Sadie had cried all she could and mourned the loss of her relationship. Funny how heartbreak felt like death. Death being the end, and so final, just like her relationship with Stone.

  Grabbing her phone, she breathed in as much air as her lungs would allow and released. Twisting her head side to side, she breathed in again and held it, counted to three and released. Relaxing her body she inhaled once more. Oh, who was she kidding, she could do all the relaxing techniques ever invented, it wouldn’t make this any easier. Just do it! Sadie had dodged her calls long enough. It was time and she knew it. Grabbing her phone, Sadie dialed the number. She answered on the third ring. Damn, Sadie was hoping to get her voicemail.

  “So you’re not dead?” she sarcastically asked.

  “Nope, still breathing,” Sadie replied and breathed in again.

  “Well, I feel honored, you taking the time to call your mother back.” Oh, she knew this tone, nothing good ever came from this tone.

  “Sorry,” she lied. Sadie had learned sometimes it was just easier to appease people like her mom than throw sass. Hopefully, this call would end soon and Sadie could get on with getting on.

  “Well, anyway, I’m coming home.”

  “Home where?” Sadie asked, dreading her mom’s answer. She knew the answer but in some faraway place of unrealistic answers, she hoped for anything but Cedar Bluff.

  “Cedar Bluff, of course.” Shit! Her whole body bent over and she released a breath she didn’t even know she was holding. Shit! Pull it together, Sadie.

  “What happened, I thought you were getting married?” she inquired calmly.

  She sighed. “Well, he can’t marry me if he’s still married to her, now can he?”

  “Oh!”

  “Yeah, oh, so anyway, I’m driving back tonight, be home my morning. That’ll give you plenty of time to get your stuff out of my room and back into yours. Make sure it’s done, Sadie, I’m going to be tired from my drive and the last thing I’ll want to do is move your stuff.”

  Sadie was speechless. Her mom was coming home and she was kicking her out of her room. The room she paid for. Sadie had no words. Literally. Her mouth was hanging open and nothing was coming out.

  “Got to run, see you soon!” She hung up.

  This was not happening.

  Gazing around the trailer from where she stood, all her stuff, everything, which wasn’t much, would soon be shared with a woman she had come to despise. She could take a stand and tell her no, she wouldn’t move out of her room. She could even tell her mom that she couldn’t move back in with her. She’d been paying the rent for four years. This place was hers.

  Sadie sent her a quick text telling her exactly that. Her reply was immediate and took the wind out of her sails.

  Mom: It’s MY name on the lease.

  Sadie never had it changed. Emotion washed over her, part regret, part sadness, and another part she couldn’t define. She got her. Sadie paid the rent every month but it was still in her mom’s name. They had to keep her name on it when she moved because Sadie was a minor. She never thought to change it. She certainly didn’t think her mom would ever come back.

  She had been wrong!

  Accepting defeat, she cleaned out her childhood room that had been used as storage. She was able to move her stuff around and pile books to get all her stuff inside the tiny room. She didn’t have much but what was hers, she wanted to keep. It took her nearly three hours to complete the rearrangement. By the end, she plopped down on her couch and looked around the trailer. It wasn’t hers anymore.

  She grabbed the paper and instead of turning to the want ads, she looked at the rentals.

  The moving was done. The trailer was ready for her mom’s return. Sadie, on the other hand, was not. She quickly showered and got ready to go out to Henry’s Market. She might as well make a Thanksgiving dinner. The market was sure to have at least one little turkey left.

  Grabbing her phone, she glanced down—no calls and no texts. It was really was over. Her eyes welled up and threatened tears again but she inhaled a deep breath. Reigning in her heartache, purse in hand, she walked to the door. Before she could open it, she heard a knock. Sadie usually checked the kitchen window to see who it was but it was two in the afternoon, probably just Miss Trudy.

  She swiftly opened the door at the second round of knocking. She must have caught the man off guard because his hand almost knocked on her nose. His hand pulled back at the last second while she flinched.

  “Gosh, darling, I’m so sorry! Are you okay? I didn’t get ya, did I?” He had a cowboy drawl, deep and gravelly. It was a stro
ng tone but not threatening, almost soothing.

  She shook her head smiling. “No, you’re fine.” She’d always been a sucker for an accent.

  Sadie checked out the stranger. He was tall, about six-one. He was older, maybe in his sixties, but in good shape. His body looked lean, no potbelly from what she could see. His hair was thin and completely gray. His face was aged and weathered but his hazel eyes were what captured hers. He had kind eyes. Also, he had a face full of lines; this man had laughed and smiled a lot in his lifetime. This made her smile again at him, which he returned.

  He stared at her briefly before he extended his hand. “You must be Sadie.”

  She was taken aback that he knew her name. But she shook his hand and nodded.

  “My girl was right, you’ve got honest eyes. It is a pleasure to meet you, Sadie. I’m John Garrison, Stone’s dad.”

  Her mouth fell open. Stone’s dad was at her front door. The color must have drained from her face as she started to tremble because he lost his smile and his brows hiked up. A look of worry washed across his features. Sadie was still holding his hand. She was shocked that he was here and confused as to why. Just the mention of Stone’s name threw her into heartache mode. He looked down at his hand, which she was still holding. Sadie immediately pulled it back.

  “Mind if I come in?” He gestured inside. Sadie blinked out of her daze. This may have been the first time meeting John Garrison but she knew him. All the stories Roxanne shared, she felt as though she knew their dad.

  “Of course, I’m sorry.” Sadie stepped back as he walked in. He looked around and smiled at her.

  “Would you like to sit down?” She gestured to the couch awkwardly.

  He walked over to the couch and sat in the middle. Sadie sat at the end closest to the door. Her mind was reeling that Stone’s dad was in her living room. Her heart started to race as to why he might be here. Is Stone okay? Did something happen? Was his dad here to yell at her and tell her to stop harassing his son with texts and calls? Okay, that might be a little farfetched, even for her imagination.