Waking Hell

by Al Robertson

  ‘She hasn’t returned any of my calls.’

  ‘And you didn’t find that suspicious?’

  ‘Some of my messages were pretty angry. And then Dieter died. I thought she was hiding from me.’

  ‘I can imagine.’ The mind sounded amused. ‘I will of course try to reach her myself, if you’d be kind enough to share her contact details. And do you have a physical address for her?’

  ‘Dieter did.’ A pause. ‘So it’s gone. With all the rest of him.’

  ‘Oh, of course.’

  Leila said nothing.

  ‘I am sorry for your loss. To lose a life’s worth of memories like that – well, it’s profoundly shocking. And I know that my questions are causing you pain. But I have to pursue my investigation.’

  ‘It’s not just your investigation, Cassiel. I’ve helped you, you’ve got to start helping me. You haven’t told me anything about Deodatus. All I know is that you investigate fraud so it’s got to be dodgy, and that doesn’t get me anywhere.’

  Cassiel grunted disapproval. ‘That misunderstanding again,’ she said. ‘I’m not a fraud investigator. How to explain it?’ She thought for a moment. ‘In your terms, I suppose I’m an antibody.’

  ‘Can you stop changing the subject and just answer the question? What do you know about Deodatus?’

  ‘I am answering it,’ replied Cassiel. ‘Our society is very different from yours. Understanding my role within it will help you understand everything else I’m about to tell you.’

  Leila rolled her eyes.

  ‘So let me broaden your horizons a little,’ the mind continued. ‘I’m a free-floating purification agent within the Totality. Much like a white blood cell in a human bloodstream. I’m empowered to deep-dive into any corporate structure, up to and including god-scale entities, then purge any flaws or weaknesses that could damage our wider society. If necessary, I can step outside our normal legal structures and test them to destruction. Much like your Hugo Fist did, with Harry Devlin and Kingdom.’

  ‘He’s a great chat show host, but I’ve never really believed someone used him to kill a god.’ More sadness, softer this time, as she remembered Dieter rambling on about conspiracies and cover-ups. At least her own memories of her brother remained untouched.

  ‘Oh, he and Jack Forster played the devil’s role to perfection. They saw a weakness, purged it and helped the Totality replace it with something purer.’

  ‘They helped your people become more powerful.’

  Cassiel ignored the jibe. ‘And of course, if I encounter a truly honest, truly well-run corporate entity, there’s no action I can take against it.’

  ‘But Deodatus has to be dodgy. So you can purge it.’

  ‘I believe I could, if I could find it. It exists wholly virtually, a ghost within the corporate machine. Most of the data cores that might have recorded its activities, its personnel, its location were destroyed during the Soft War. There is no mention of it in any that survived. All I can find is three recorded transactions, all taking place within the last two months – the very substantial payment to your brother and a pair of smaller but still significant ones to family members of two other recently deceased Pantheon subjects. In my experience, secrecy times riches equals corruption. And so here I am. Trying to understand that corruption, so I can protect my society by eradicating it.’

  ‘So you don’t even know where it’s based?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Shit. What about the pressure men?’

  ‘This is the first I’ve heard of them. Clearly they represent Deodatus on Station. And they seem to be pretty elusive. Beyond that – well, further research is needed.’

  ‘And the people who got the other two pay-outs? Haven’t they helped?’

  Cassiel’s glow dimmed a little. ‘When I’m in Pantheon space I have to work through the Rose. Her people refuse to release any of the other beneficiaries’ or policy holders’ details to me. InSec say there’s no evidence of any crime.’ Frustration filled the mind’s voice. ‘All I need is their names. But the Rose has been so obstructive. I believe she’s actively trying to limit my investigation. There is a possibility of corruption.’

  Leila thought back to her own encounters with InSec. They’d always been so brutal. ‘That wouldn’t surprise me,’ she said. ‘So how did you find me?’

  ‘Through the trust fund that holds the money on your behalf. It’s a Totality-based financial entity. I didn’t need the Rose’s help to find and question it. And you’ve been very helpful, in your way.’ She indicated the artefact. ‘There’s that. It fascinates me. Aha! The reconstruction is complete.’

  Leila was now also very intrigued by the artefact. She decided to try and ask Ambrose about it, regardless of his objections. But before she inspected it there was one last thing to be sure of: ‘So is that all you know about Deodatus?’

  ‘As I said, it’s a beginning.’ Cassiel leant in, and examined the fully reconstructed image. ‘And all investigations have to begin somewhere. Though perhaps our true beginning is this box. I’ve queried the relevant data cores about it. I’ll hear back from them all in a day or so.’

  ‘Will you share those answers with me?’

  Cassiel tipped her head to one side and brought a hand up to her chin. ‘I don’t know,’ she replied. ‘Maybe. Maybe not. It depends. And perhaps Junky Fi will reappear. I’m sure she won’t hold anything back from you.’

  Leila thought about unanswered phone calls. ‘Perhaps,’ she said. She remembered her new wealth. ‘I’ll pay for information,’ she said. ‘About the device, about Deodatus, about the pressure men. Whatever it costs.’

  ‘But I’m Totality. Pantheon money means very little to me. We’re motivated by very different things. Mutual obligation, social cohesion, the common good…’

  ‘… taking care of your family? Protecting lost memories?’

  ‘Ah!’ the mind said, sounding almost amused. ‘Both good points. Very well then. I’ll see how things proceed. If I can help you without either disrupting my investigation or placing you in danger, then I will.’

  ‘I think that means no.’

  ‘It means maybe. And that’s the best you’re going to get.’

  There wasn’t much else to say. They parted and Leila returned home, where she spent most of the rest of the day organising Dieter’s wake. It was slow, sad work. She was surprised to find herself wishing that she was back with Cassiel again, where she’d at least had some sense that she was pushing forwards rather than looking back.

  And of course the next day was even worse, because then the wake actually happened.

  Chapter 6

  Dieter’s wake was an unusually sad event, because most of the people attending it expected it to be a very joyful one. It took place in his weavespace, the virtual landscape that served as his workshop, personal comms hub and general onweave home-from-home. Leila’s friends Miwa and Dave had offered to support her. She asked them to wait at the weavespace’s entrance and, as people’s avatars appeared, take them to one side and break the news of his true death. Then the guests moved into its public area – a large grassy space, surrounded by one- and two-storey utility huts. Rectangular windows showed workspaces that had once been cluttered with Dieter’s obsessions. Little of them remained. Deodatus had left only empty shelves, unused blackboards and vacant tables and chairs.

  The guests dealt with the shock of Dieter’s true death in different ways. Some pulled themselves out of the party to gather their emotions, then returned looking pale and controlled. Others came straight over the grass to Leila, shocked faces clashing with colourful party clothes. They stumbled out condolences they’d had no time to prepare, then moved on to drink too quickly. When she wasn’t greeting new arrivals Leila moved through the crowd, breaking awkwardly into conversations between people who knew each other far better than she did. She felt desperate
ly lonely. Everything seemed so wrong. She rolled the black pendant that hung around her neck between her fingers, letting its sharp edges spike into them, and decided to take refuge in solitude. She stepped out of the public area of Dieter’s weavespace into one of his private workshops.

  There was a table at one end of the room, lit by sunlight pouring in through long, high windows. Flies buzzed lazily, full stops weaving through the air. Three empty blackboards clustered at one end of the room. Memory showed her the clutter that had once filled it. This was the room where they’d worked together to rebuild her memory. Dieter had built two linked couches for them to lie back in as Leila restored structure to her past. They were gone.

  A child’s voice surprised her. ‘I looked forward to his rebirth. He would have contributed so much more to the Fetch Communion.’

  Leila turned. A young boy stood in the doorway, dressed in red shorts and a blue T-shirt. He looked about ten. Uncombed hair leapt up from his head. His face was friendly and open, but his eyes were pools of shining darkness. When he spoke the same deep void appeared behind his white teeth.

  ‘Hello,’ said Leila. She’d never seen the boy before, but she recognised the entity that had possessed him. ‘It’s been a while.’

  ‘A couple of years, at least,’ the Fetch Counsellor used the boy to say. ‘We’ve all changed a lot.’

  Leila tried to remember what sort of body the Counsellor had been wearing when they’d last talked. It had no independent existence. Every time it appeared, it manifested through a different fetch. Only the eyes and the mouth remained the same. She’d spent a lot of time with it during the first months of her afterlife. It had worn many different bodies as she came to terms with her new, post-mortal status. Whenever she remembered all those different faces and voices, she felt like an entire community had cared for her. She supposed that that was the point.

  She pulled herself back to the present. ‘I’m surprised you came,’ she replied. ‘But thank you. I’m very touched.’

  The boy hopped up to sit on the table, moving with a confidence that was entirely adult. ‘I wouldn’t have missed it,’ he replied. ‘After he healed you, Dieter did a lot for us. Boosted our security, helped us guard against other attacks.’ Leila’s surprise must have been very obvious. ‘He never mentioned that?’

  ‘No. Not at all. I mean – he talked about how fascinating he found fetch memory structures. And he really hated those Blood and Flesh people. And any other fetch bigots, come to that. But he never mentioned doing anything for you.’

  The boy nodded. ‘He had a lot of respect for your choices. He did his best to protect you. But always within the limits you set. And when you chose to have nothing more to do with us, clearly he decided to respect that choice too.’ His tone was difficult to read. Leila wasn’t sure if he was chiding her.

  ‘I suppose he must have done,’ she replied.

  Out on the lawn, more people had arrived. ‘I should get back out there,’ Leila said. But she didn’t move towards the door. There was a question she had to ask. ‘Dieter seemed to think he was going to be reborn. Could Deodatus do that?’

  ‘Are you sure you want me to answer that?’

  She nodded.

  ‘We’re the only people who can create true fetches, and it’s taken us centuries and a revolution to work out how to do it. If these Deodatus people have access to the right technology they could probably create an approximate version of him. But it would be very incoherent. And it would chew up his weaveself’s memory structures. Could probably run for a month, maybe two, before it started doing irreversible damage. And of course if they only want part of him they can just delete the rest.’

  ‘Shit. I’ve got to find him.’

  ‘Of course,’ said the boy. Then he took her hand and looked up at her. She remembered when they’d first sat together on the ocean shore, where she would talk herself back into life again. ‘I am so sorry,’ he said.

  ‘I’m going to bring his weaveself back,’ said Leila. ‘He will be reborn.’

  ‘I hope so. For your sake as much as ours.’

  The little hands pulled lightly and Leila sank to her knees. Small arms wrapped themselves tightly around her. Her face was pulled in against soft, curly hair. The little boy’s grip was surprisingly strong, surprisingly comforting. The Counsellor had known her since her own rebirth. There was no need for any sort of façade.

  There was a whisper in her ear. ‘I’m speeding up time. Take as long as you want.’ The room shimmered as the Counsellor overclocked their deep selves, creating a very perfect privacy. Leila let grief take her.

  She sat with the Counsellor for several subjective hours. Sometimes she reminisced. Sometimes she wept. Sometimes she was silent. As time passed, therapy slowly became conversation.

  Leila told the Counsellor about Cassiel’s investigation. She showed him the reconstruction of the box.

  ‘Means very little to me, I’m afraid,’ the Counsellor said. ‘The gods guard their history jealously. I don’t have anything like the expertise your brother and his friends did.’

  ‘It didn’t come from Junky Fi. She finally replied to one of my messages. She’s been off-Station for the last few months, pretty much out of touch. Deodatus must have sent the box with a faked note from her. But why?’

  ‘Dieter has an intimate knowledge of fetch consciousness structures and mechanics. Anyone wanting to harm us would find his memories a very useful weapon.’

  ‘Shit.’ The thought disturbed her deeply. ‘Do you think all this is a Blood and Flesh thing? Have they got Dieter now?’

  ‘They are no longer a threat. And we monitor all of the other fetch-hatred groups. None of them could have pulled this off. Although the dress style of the pressure men is suggestive. It could be that they’re harking back to some sort of purer past. The second one you met didn’t even speak to you?’

  Leila nodded.

  ‘Perhaps he refuses to speak to all fetches, on principle.’

  ‘Maybe Deodatus is a new hatred group,’ mused Leila. ‘But I can’t imagine Dieter ever selling his weaveself to someone like that. No matter how much they offered.’

  ‘Agreed. And Deodatus’ financial resources and data hacking skills are far more substantial than anything we’ve seen in the anti-fetch world. As I understand it, the gods have accepted Dieter’s mysterious insurance pay out as fully legitimate.’

  ‘And the other two as well,’ agreed Leila. ‘Even the Rose. Although Cassiel doesn’t trust her. There’s definitely something dodgy about it. Theoretically Dieter’s been paying premiums for this insurance for years. But I know he hasn’t.’

  The Counsellor looked thoughtful. ‘It’s all so unlikely. Killing Dieter in such a targeted way – then rewriting the past to make the pay-out seem legitimate. After doing the same thing to two other completely unrelated people. I can’t imagine who it would benefit or how it would help them.’

  Leila shook her head. ‘I wish I knew. Then I’d use their own bloody money to go right after them.’

  ‘There’s that, too. The pay-out gives you so much power to use against whoever’s got Dieter. I just don’t understand it.’ Another pause, then the he spoke again, his tone more personal: ‘Look, I know how you feel about the Coffin Drives and the Fetch Communion. You have every right to reject us. We couldn’t protect you and we couldn’t rebuild you. But we’re very worried by all this. We’d very much like to know how it happened and where your brother’s been taken. We’d be very grateful if you could let us know if you or Cassiel find out anything of interest.’

  ‘If I find him – when I find him – it’ll be for him and me, not for you. And I don’t want to be anyone’s spy. Can’t you ask the Totality for updates yourself?’

  ‘We just need to know of any threats. And this situation – it’s so difficult.’ The Counsellor suddenly seemed so fragile. Leila wondered
if he’d chosen a child’s body with this moment in mind. ‘We’re a new people, Leila. We’re very exposed. We have to be very careful who we trust. Who we tell we’re in danger. And that includes the Totality.’

  ‘Have you looked for him yourself?’

  He sighed. ‘We can search the memory seas for stored weaveselves, for fetches awaiting rebirth, even for those who’ve chosen true death. We’ve already looked there for Dieter. Without success.’ He sighed. ‘Please remember how vulnerable we are. Your brother’s knowledge in the wrong hands could be very harmful. We need your help against that.’

  ‘I’m sorry…’ Leila began.

  ‘We can’t change the past. But we can try and make sure that others avoid the kind of pain you experienced.’

  That was a goal Dieter would approve of. ‘I’ll think about it,’ she said.

  ‘Please do,’ replied the Counsellor. ‘And of course if you need any help, just ask.’

  They talked for a little longer, but there wasn’t much left to say. Leila walked to the window and looked out at the wake. Insects hung in the air, glittering like jewels in the frozen light. The guests too were frozen. She looked around to see if there were any new arrivals. Ambrose stood by Miwa and Dave, one hand reaching out in awkward greeting.

  Leila turned back to the Counsellor. ‘We should go out again,’ she said. ‘And – thank you for listening.’

  ‘It’s what I’m here for,’ he told her.

  Time started again and they went out into the garden together. Leila found it easier to mingle, easier to talk. At one point, she spotted someone wearing a pastel-shaded suit, standing alone. She started towards him but was distracted for a moment by a tearful reminiscer. When she looked back again, he’d gone. ‘Shit,’ she said. She sent a call to the weavespace’s security systems, but there was no record of him. He could have been a pressure man. Or he could have just been one of Dieter’s more socially challenged acquaintances, moving as anonymously as possible through the world, fleeing when he saw that she’d spotted him.