by Mary Ting
I saw the three little faces on that roof, on the glider that day. They were so young. They were the age I’d been when my mother died. At least I had been safe in juvie.
I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling nauseous. Turning away from the door after Novak and Payton exited, I shoved my palms into my face, breathing in and out, in and out.
I had forgotten Russ was in the room when movement caught my eye, and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. Russ inched toward me and stopped, looking at me as if I were a stray cat ready to bolt.
“Ava. Are you okay?”
No, Russ. I’m not okay. Mr. Novak just murdered a bunch of kids and I’m probably next. How are you so calm?
“Did you know? Did you know he was going to ...?”
I couldn’t let him know I knew they were children. I also realized then how little I knew about ISAN. Being sheltered and practically locked up, I imbibed the rumors and made my own assumptions.
I’d learned you didn’t need special DNA to qualify to be a super assassin. Some actually signed up, like Mitch and Rhett. And some, like Drew, got paid. They must have found by accident that those with the special DNA gained unique abilities with Helix serums. Brooke, Tamara, Payton—and how many others?
Russ lowered his gaze long enough to let me know he had known Mr. Novak planned to kill those children. He’d known. He’d known and he couldn’t do anything about it, even if he wanted to. Who could he trust? Who would go against Mr. Novak?
“Come on. Let me take you to your room.” Russ draped an arm around my shoulders and guided me out.
I couldn’t recall passing the gray walls or seeing ISAN guards stationed in each hallway. And I couldn’t remember how I got inside my room. I only heard blood rushing in my ears and my heart drumming out of sync.
“Do you need anything?”
Russ’s voice sounded muffled, far away.
“No, thank you. I’m fine.” But I wasn’t. I struggled to gain control of my muscles.
I plopped down on my bed and curled my knees into my stomach. I had to get ahold of myself. This frightened girl was not me. Both times I’d stayed with Rhett and came back, I’d realized what I could lose. It scared me so much.
“Is Mitch all right? The doctor told me he got shot in the shoulder. I don’t know who to believe anymore.”
“Yes. He’ll be fine. He’ll be stiff for days, but he’s lucky it wasn’t bad, and Dr. Machine was able to heal the wound quickly.”
I sighed with relief. “Okay. Good.”
Russ draped the blanket over me and sat on the edge of the bed. Then he crept closer and closer until his breath warmed the side of my neck. I knew then he was leaning to whisper just in case a camera was hidden in my room.
“I’m so sorry, Ava. You’re right. This is not what I promised you. I’m not trying to make excuses, but I thought I was helping girls like you. ISAN is not what it promised to be. Things have changed. I’m not a person who will make a difference, but you are. You can turn things around. I know what you’re capable of. I know your full potential, if only you believe in yourself. I told you when I recruited you that you have what it takes to be a hero, and I still believe that. You would be surprised how many agents and assassins would back you up. Sometimes you have to let go and trust. Not everyone is Mr. Novak.”
“I know.” I pulled back and caught his eyes.
Even after plenty of rest, I was exhausted, like I was going to sink into an endless pit.
Russ stroked my hair. “Are you going to give me the coordinates? Are you really going to hand over the rebels to Mr. Novak after what he did?”
I blinked, crisscrossing my legs. Russ had never been explicit about going against Mr. Novak. He had given me hints, but he’d never been this blunt. It was the moment I’d been waiting for.
This curtain between Russ and me had to drop. So, I told him everything, starting from the message on the TAB from Rhett. Then I told him about the Abandoned City, Zen, and Mr. Novak killing little children when he’d ordered the bomb attack in the South.
Russ told me he had met Rhett once after Russ first joined ISAN, but he had been transferred and had come back after Rhett’s escape. He also told me he had been the one to recruit me and that what I remembered about the way he tested me was accurate. However, it had been a year before, not six months.
“I’m sorry I lied to you, but because your memory was unstable, Mr. Novak ordered me to keep it to myself or he would end my life.” Russ lowered his head as if ashamed.
I swallowed the pebbles blocking my air. “I didn’t start asking questions until after I was kidnapped. Rhett opened my eyes. Does Mr. Novak suspect I remember?”
“Ava.” He gave me a grave look. “You were clawing at the cafeteria wall, remember?”
I jabbed the heel of my palm between the center of my eyes.
“Calm down.” Russ gently lowered my arm. “I covered for you. I told Mr. Novak you were having a breakdown, PTSD, after being kidnapped. There was a trash chute there, but they covered it up. The one rebels escaped through is located in the restricted area, and that one has been sealed up, too.”
“Thank you, Russ. You’ve been so good to me. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you all these months.”
“I wish I could’ve told you the truth, but you wouldn’t have believed me. I also didn’t have all the facts. And ...” Russ closed his eyes as if his next words would be difficult. “I trusted ISAN. Trusted Mr. Novak.”
I shrugged. “Well, I think we all did. Mr. Novak runs the eastern territory. Who runs ISAN?”
Russ drew back, confusion on his face. “I thought you knew. Mr. Novak runs all of ISAN. He has his trusted personnel run the other territories, but he’s the head. Over all of it.”
“Ohhh,” I breathed.
I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad news. Chop off the head, bring down the whole body. But Mr. Novak had so much support. Someone’s head might replace his.
“I need to talk to you about a serum. It’s called HelixB88. Have you heard of it?” I needed to know if Russ could add anything to what I already knew.
“Yes. HelixB88 is effective on the males. It doesn’t give them the perilous side effects of 77. And you can clearly see the results from Payton and the other boys.”
“What happens if one of the girls is injected with it?”
Russ sat taller and crinkled his nose. “Well, the result would be life-threatening. From what we’ve been told, the males are able to bond chemically with the serum and benefit from Helix’s sensory enhancement, but female bodies reject it, causing all sorts of problems.”
“Have you, um, given—”
“No. Never.” He shook his head, begging me with his eyes to believe. “I swear. I would have never gambled with the girls’ lives. And Mr. Novak wouldn’t have taken that chance. I mean, I wouldn’t have followed the order if he had.”
A soft beeping sound came from his chip, breaking the long quiet.
Russ shot his eyes to the message only he could read. “I need to go. It’s Mr. Novak. He wants the coordinates. We will talk later. Not in your room, but somewhere safe. I shouldn’t be in here. I’m going to ask to run the team with you. Let’s plan our own agenda and get you out of ISAN. I’m certain Mr. Novak will ...” He didn’t finish.
Try to kill you.
Russ kissed my forehead and rose. “We have to keep everyone as safe as possible. It’ll be up to us. The others have no idea. We can do this. Then you leave and never come back. Mitch will know how to get a hold of Rhett. We’ll keep in touch that way.”
“Okay.” I nodded, dread swimming in my gut.
“You can let go of me now.” He smiled, his green eyes soft and gleaming.
I didn’t realize I was holding his hand. Without a word, I jumped into his arms and squeezed him. “Russ. Please, don’t let anything happen to you. I need you to stay alive. And if you ever get a chance to leave ISAN, just go.”
Russ cupped my face a
nd gently kissed my lips. Not passionately, but a you are my friend and I care about you kind of kiss. I didn’t jerk away. I let him, for it might be the last time I saw him alone. Then he backed away and pressed his forehead to mine.
“You too. Stay safe. Rhett is very lucky to have you.”
And I’m lucky to have him.
“Dinner will be soon. I’ll find you later.”
“Okay.”
When the door opened, Russ stopped as if there was an invisible wall. His shoulders slumped and then he shook his head.
“Brooke. Tamara.” He sighed in agitation. “Do you always stand this close to the door?”
“Well, hey there, boss.” Brooke gave her best southern accent. “Do you always barge out the door like you’re on fire? And what’re you doing inside Ava’s room?” Her voice shifted into panic. “Is she okay?”
I imagined Brooke frowning and Tamara pulling her eyebrows to the center, nervous and worried.
“You can see for yourself.” Russ stepped to the side, giving them a full view of me on the bed. “I’m glad you’re here. She needs the both of you right now. Don’t be late for dinner.”
“Yes, boss.” Brooke saluted and practically shoved Tamara through the door.
I jumped out of bed and wrapped my arms around them. “It’s so good to see you both.”
So good to see you both well and alive. And Mr. Novak didn’t hurt you to get to me.
“Hey. You’re still in your white gown. You okay?” Brooke pulled away first, her eyes demanding answers. Then she shot a glance toward Tamara. “I tried to come alone, but she insisted on following me.”
“I’m fine. It’s okay. I’m glad Tamara wanted to come see me. I missed you both very much.”
I understood Brooke, though. We had much to talk about, and Tamara being there would hinder our conversation.
“We missed you, too.” Tamara placed a soft hand on my arm.
Brooke lightly socked the other one. “What happened to you, or do you not want to talk about it?” Brooke tilted her head toward Tamara again.
I knew Brooke would escape with me, but I wasn’t sure about Tamara. When I saw them both by the door, I had decided I would tell Tamara everything, too. Then I would give her the choice to stay or come with us.
“Brooke. Tamara. I have things to tell you. You two sit on the bed. I’m going to stand.”
I gave a reassuring nod to Brooke and made sure my back was to my TAB. We had been told no cameras were installed in our room, but I wasn’t sure anymore—at least not about my room. And I had no idea what section of ISAN was safe to talk.
I told them about the message on my TAB from Rhett, about the rebels, The Abandoned City, HelixB88, the southern rebels being killed, and lastly how Mitch and Russ were on our side.
Brooke almost fell off the edge of the bed, mostly at the later part.
“What do we do?” Tamara lowered her eyelashes, twirling thumb over thumb in a methodical rhythm.
“First, before we decide, Tamara, will you be coming with Brooke and me? Or do you want to stay? This is your decision. I don’t want to—”
“What kind of question is that?” Tamara met my gaze. “Of course I’m coming with you. Unless you guys don’t want me to come.” Her voice lowered.
“Of course I do.” I approached the bed and gripped her hand. “We do.” I glanced at Brooke.
“You better come, or I’ll kidnap you.” Brooke schooled her face, trying to look intimidating.
“Thanks.” Tamara gave a small smile, conflict twisting on her face as she took her hand back. “I don’t want for us to end up like Chelsea’s team.”
Chelsea and her team were in my thoughts, but I didn’t know what Mr. Novak had told everyone about them. It was important for us to talk about it, but that conversation had to be for later. Right now, we had to focus on staying alive.
I stroked Tamara’s shoulder the way my mother used to stroke mine and sat between them. “I feel horrible, too. But first, we need to concentrate on us getting out, and then we’ll work on bringing ISAN down so no other child will have the same fate. Okay?”
Tamara nodded and grabbed my pillow to hug. “Ava, I have to tell you something. And I don’t know—”
“What’s our plan? We have to do something.” Brooke’s urgent tone superseded what Tamara was about to say.
“Tamara, you can tell me later. Time is running out. I need to let you know what’s going on. I have it all planned out with the rebels, and Russ and I will speak after dinner. I’ll keep you informed, but you can’t tell anyone. Not even Justine.”
“Justine might tell. Knowing her, she might go straight to Mr. Novak.” Brooke crinkled her nose and twisted her lips awkwardly.
“I wouldn’t trust Justine, either.” Tamara seemed a bit relaxed when she dropped her shoulders, but the tension in her face did not ease. “What about 88? Can’t we ask Russ?”
I felt a new sense of hope. With Brooke and Tamara’s help, we could do this.
“No. Mr. Novak holds it like gold.” Brooke lightly socked the mattress on either side of her. “Ava, you haven’t been here the past few days, but I’ve never seen Mr. Novak so protective of anything before. He started administering the 88 serum himself. He says he doesn’t want anyone getting them confused with the other Helix, but you know what, I think he’s afraid one of the male supervisors will use it against him. No one has access to 88.”
This is harder than I anticipated.
“It’s okay,” I said more to myself and slid off the bed. Then I paced to my desk and back. “Do you know where Mr. Novak stores it?”
They both shook their heads.
I gnawed the inside of my mouth. Think. Where would he hide it aside from his office?
Tamara stretched her legs and arms to the ceiling. “I can talk to Kendrick. Maybe he knows.”
“Kendrick?” My voice rose a bit high.
“Well. If I were Mr. Novak and I didn’t want to hide it in my office, I might hide it somewhere no one would think to look.”
Brooke tapped Tamara’s shoulder with an approving look. “She’s got brains. It didn’t even cross my mind.”
I plopped between them, my back on the mattress. “Perhaps, but I’ll go talk to him. I don’t want him reporting back to Mr. Novak that you asked questions about it. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if something were to happen to you.”
Tamara’s features twisted. “You don’t trust me?”
“No. That’s not it. Of course, I trust you. This is—”
“Dangerous?” Brooke creased her brow and crossed her arms. “Either we’re in this together or we don’t do this at all. We’re a team ‘til the end. And you think your life is worth risking?”
I recalled Rhett’s words. You think your life is worth so little. You may not think you’re worth fighting for, but I do.
Perhaps my friends were right. I didn’t have to do this alone. I wasn’t alone. For so long I had been. I had friends now, more than one. My friends were my family, and there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for them, nor they for me.
Stop being an idiot. Do what’s right for everyone. Learn to trust.
“Okay, but be careful. Meanwhile, I’ll search the restricted area and see if I can get in.”
“Where should I look?” Brooke got off the bed and adjusted her shirt. “Maybe I could indirectly ask a guard.”
“Okay.” I leaned closer, my voice softer. “In order for this to work without getting caught, we can’t ask questions or Mr. Novak will be suspicious. You’ll have to use your charm. And we have to search during our break time only.”
“Sounds like a plan. You mean we just have to be ourselves.”
Brooke said it like this was a walk in the park, and that scared the hell out of me.
Don’t do anything stupid, Brooke. So help me, I will ...
“I agree with Brooke. Be actors. That’s what we do, anyway.”
There was a different side of Tamara coming t
o light. Fierce and bold. Maybe giving her a purpose made her brave. Or maybe when you have someone to fight for, you see no option but to prevail. Or maybe being an assassin had begun to change her after all.
Ava
During dinner, for the first miraculous time, Justine and Brooke did not cause a ruckus. In fact, they didn’t exchange words. As if the death of the rebels in the South had struck dread into everyone, the room was silent. Only the clang of trays and clink of utensils filled the air.
After dinner, I went to the washroom and did my business. On my way to my room, someone yanked me to the side, into the shadows.
“Russ. You almost gave me a heart attack,” I whispered sharply, placing a hand on my chest. “Maybe a warning next time.”
“Sorry. Walk with me to my office. Keep your eyes and mouth angled away from the walls and keep your words brief.”
I nodded and matched his step. He kept a steady pace, but my legs stiffened.
Relax. Be casual. Keep up the pretense.
“I ran into Tamara. Actually, Tamara came to see me right after dinner. She asked me about HelixB88. Whatever you girls are up to, ditch it.”
“What did she say?”
Russ gave a curt nod to the security guards as we rounded the corner. As for me, I gave them the bird—well I did in my head. In real life, I gave them my award-winning fake smile.
“Nothing much.” Russ waited until the guards were out of sight before he answered. “She wouldn’t tell me much. What’s going on?” His tone turned from concern to scolding.
I didn’t want another person to get involved, but Russ already knew everything. Perhaps he could help.
“I need a sample of HelixB88 for Zen. He believes we’ll have a fighting chance if we get a hold of it.”
“Maybe.” Russ scrunched his face and rubbed his temple. “Okay. I can’t believe I’m doing this, but Mr. Novak is away for a meeting, and the scientist has gone home for the day. Let me sneak into the lab and I’ll meet you at my office in thirty minutes.”
My anxiety eased a bit. “Okay. I’ll see you in thirty.”
Russ yanked me back as I slipped away.