Floors #2: 3 Below

by Patrick Carman

  Leo thought Remi had said too much. What if it wasn’t Jane Yancey? But he let it pass and gently knocked on the trapdoor.

  “We know you’re up there,” Leo said. “You stole our fuse.”

  The door, Leo knew, snapped shut from the inside. A person could get trapped up there by accident if he or she didn’t know the proper way to open it.

  Leo looked at Remi with a look that said Be ready to run, and then he unlatched the trapdoor and pushed it up a few inches.

  At first there was no one, just a long silence as Leo guided the door up another inch or two. Then four dirty knuckled fingers appeared over the edge of the door, pulling it all the way open.

  “I don’t think it’s Jane Yancey,” Remi whispered.

  A second hand drifted out above the opening, holding the missing fuse.

  “Looking for something?” a voice asked.

  “Oh no,” Leo said.

  “What?” Remi responded, because he didn’t recognize the voice, though he’d heard it in the basement once before from around a corner. “Who is it?”

  “Why, it’s me, Mr. Carp, of course. Who were you expecting, that Rickenbacker character? He’s too big to fit up here.”

  “Why are you hiding on top of my duck elevator?” Leo asked.

  Mr. Carp’s head appeared over the edge of the door. His glasses had slid down to the end of his nose, making him look older than he was.

  “I told you already — I’m supposed to keep an eye on you, make sure you don’t try to leave or do anything shifty. It’s my job.”

  “And you stowed away up there while we were in the Puzzle Room?” Leo asked. He was trying to keep Mr. Carp busy while he thought of a plan.

  “Yes, well, I didn’t mean to get stuck up here. Only to do my job, you see.”

  “Yeah, we see what you mean,” Leo said. “You’re serious about your job.”

  “You’ll find I’m impossible to shake,” Mr. Carp said proudly. “Like a bad cold or a wad of gum on your shoe. It’s a gift.”

  Leo thought Mr. Carp was more like a bumbling inspector than a serious force to be reckoned with, but Leo was also smart enough to know that looks could be deceiving.

  “How did you get our fuse?” Leo asked. “You were trapped up there.”

  “Not at first; that unfortunate part came later,” Mr. Carp said. He explained that he’d put a Popsicle stick in the trapdoor so it would stay open, and when they’d left the elevator, he’d opened it and reached down, taking the fuse. The only problem? He’d knocked the stick away when pulling up the fuse.

  “Before I knew it,” Mr. Carp said, “the trapdoor was shut and I was up here.”

  “Can we have our fuse back?” Leo asked. “We’re not going to leave the hotel. Promise.”

  “What’s behind the books?” Mr. Carp asked. His tone changed slightly, as if he were no longer bumbling along but instead had struck upon something important he could benefit from.

  “Hot dogs,” Remi said. “And popcorn. It’s just silly stuff like that. You know Merganzer, always with the strange rooms.”

  “You take me for a fool,” Mr. Carp said somberly. “I could tell important people about this, you know. I could tell Ms. Sparks, and she’d come right up here and look for herself. You don’t want that to happen, do you, Leo Fillmore? Just tell me. What’s in there?”

  “I’ll tell you if you give me the fuse,” Leo said.

  Mr. Carp seemed to consider the option, but he didn’t answer right away.

  “Nice mustache,” Remi observed. He’d seen it from a distance in the basement and had wanted to say something about it. Remi dreamed of growing a thick mustache someday.

  “It takes many years,” Mr. Carp said proudly, “a mustache like this. You’ll get there one day.”

  “You think so?”

  “With a head of hair like that? I know so.”

  Sometimes Remi was smarter than Leo realized. Mr. Carp’s only friend, as far as Leo could tell, was a stinky cat. Remi’s compliment was a rare treat for a man like Mr. Carp.

  “So a trade, then — the fuse for the information.”

  “Promise?” Mr. Carp asked. His intentions were impossible to read, but Leo nodded just the same. They were completely stuck without that fuse.

  Mr. Carp tossed the fuse down and Leo caught it, carefully handing it to Remi with a wink. In the space of two seconds, Leo had the rainbow key card out of a pocket, sliding it along the corner of the duck elevator, sending the walls into a dancing display of colors as Mr. Carp looked on in wonder.

  “That’s quite a trick,” he said, inching his way around the edge of the trapdoor for a better look. Leo secretly handed Remi the beaker key card, the one they’d gotten from Ingrid, just as the wall of the elevator slid away.

  “What was that?” Mr. Carp asked, for he couldn’t see the wall in question from his perch. “And what about the room behind the bookshelves? What’s back there? You promised to tell!”

  Remi was on his belly in a flash, pulling out the old fuse and inserting the new one.

  “It’s a room full of dominoes,” Leo said. “Thousands of them, all set up to be knocked down.”

  “I do love dominoes,” Mr. Carp said, smiling for an instant. “But why? What are they for?”

  Remi looked up at Leo and Leo nodded.

  “Better hold on to the cable, Mr. Carp,” Leo said.

  Mr. Carp looked as though he had a mind to scold the boys further until they spilled the beans about what was really hidden in the room, but he didn’t get the chance. Suddenly, without warning, the duck elevator was moving.

  Fast.

  “I tried to warn yoooouuuuuuuu!” Leo shouted. Remi had inserted the beaker card. He’d gotten out of the way just in time as the wall slid back into place. And the elevator had dropped like a piano out a window.

  “Hold on, Mr. Carp!” Remi screamed. “Hold on!”

  But the trapdoor slammed shut as the duck elevator plummeted past the lobby, the basement, the Jungle Room. They could hear him up there screaming, so at least he had held on to the cable and wasn’t free-falling down the elevator shaft.

  “I’m not sure we should have left him up there,” Remi said.

  “At least now we know where he is,” Leo said as the duck elevator started to slow down. “And he can’t get out.”

  “Actually, you’re right!” Remi said. “Ha! This is perfect!”

  As the elevator came to an abrupt stop, they heard Mr. Carp yelling for them to let him out. It was a muffled cry for help, but it sounded like he was unharmed.

  “Don’t worry, Mr. Carp!” Remi yelled at the ceiling. “Technically, we’re still in the hotel. You’re doing a great job!”

  Leo and Remi smiled at each other. They even giggled a little bit. Everything was going to be just fine.

  “Shall we open the elevator doors and see what Dr. Flart’s dungeon looks like?” Leo whispered. He thought it best to keep Mr. Carp in the dark about where they really were, but Remi was too excited for that kind of nonsense.

  “Flart’s Fizz, here we come!” he yelled, opening the elevator door with a huge grin on his face.

  There was a muffled call from above that sounded to Leo like “What’s Fnarts Flizz?” He laughed, thinking of the tremendous adventure they were on.

  But then the doors were open and he was looking into Dr. Flart’s dungeon.

  All the color ran out of his face. His jaw went slack.

  “This might not be as much fun as we thought,” he heard Remi say.

  “I think you’re right,” Leo answered.

  And then they walked out into the first dungeon either of them had ever been in.

  Dungeons, as a general rule, are the kind of place people hear a lot about but rarely see. Hearing about them is a creepy kind of fun, like hearing about a sunken ship full of treasures and secrets. But no one wants to be on the ship when it’s sinking, and in the same way, being inside an actual dungeon takes all the fun right out of it.
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  The boys ran back into the elevator.

  “Leo,” Remi said with a shaking voice, “can we skip this part and go back to the hotel? I don’t feel so good.”

  “I’m with you. The only problem is we don’t have a fuse. The one we used is blown.”

  “So we’re not leaving here until we get another fuse, is that what you’re telling me?” Remi’s shoulders were pinned against the back wall of the duck elevator, as far away from the door as he could get.

  “And we have to get the four Floogers. And the iron box. Remember?”

  Something moved across the floor outside, casting a strange shadow into the elevator.

  “What was that?” Remi whimpered.

  Outside the elevator there was a room filled with all kinds of things that were loads of fun to read about but not very nice to be near. Remi’s mind raced as his eyes darted between objects and terrors.

  A table with chains and clasps for holding hands and ankles. For stretching people!

  Walls of stone with ropes hanging from them. For holding prisoners!

  Swords and maces and giant hammers. For beating people up!

  Huge cobwebs made by king-size spiders. For eating your face off!

  As Remi inventoried all the terrible things in the dungeon, he heard a series of sounds that didn’t seem to belong next to one another. His mind was racing with possibilities.

  A whimper. Is that a rabid animal?

  A snort. Yes! A rabid animal! Or a monster!

  The mechanical sound of hydraulics moving up and down. A diabolical robot?

  The sound of steam pouring out of . . . something. Yes! A diabolical robot! Or a death machine!

  “What is that?” Leo asked.

  “If you get out of here alive and I don’t,” Remi said, pulling Blop out of his pocket, “take good care of Blop for me, will ya?”

  “No, don’t!” Leo said, but it was too late. Remi was hugging Blop like a stuffed animal.

  “Did someone say my name?” Blop asked.

  Leo tried to make Blop stay quiet, but it was impossible to keep the little robot from commenting on everything he saw. He started by asking Remi why he was sitting in the elevator acting like there was a monster outside. But then Blop’s head swiveled around and he took a good look into the dungeon.

  “Oh no,” Blop said, his head spinning back and forth in short, rapid bursts. “Why did you come down here? Take me back! TAKE ME BACK!”

  This had the appearance of a very bad omen. If Blop was freaking out, they’d definitely arrived in a place they shouldn’t be.

  Whatever had been making sounds where they couldn’t see began to move again. It was coming closer, the shadow looming into the duck elevator like Ms. Sparks’s beehive hairdo.

  “We’re all going to die!” Remi cried out.

  “Unfortunately, that will not be happening,” said Blop. “Please, Remi, put me back in your pocket before it’s too late!”

  The giant shadow covered the entire opening of the duck elevator. The awful sounds of slobber and steam and mechanical movements all clamored together, and Blop screamed. There is nothing quite as pitiful as a screaming five-inch-tall robot.

  The monster of the dungeon had arrived in front of the duck elevator.

  “What —?” Leo said.

  Mr. Carp’s muffled voice could be heard from above, asking if everything was all right. Remi had his eyes covered. Blop kept screaming in a tiny tin voice that was driving Leo insane. It was so bad, Leo got out of the elevator and stood in the creepy dungeon room next to the monster.

  “Remi, open your eyes,” Leo said. “It’s fine. This thing’s not going to hurt you.”

  Remi slowly moved his hand away from his face and opened his eyes just a little.

  There was a thing that looked like a dog hopping up and down. It had four legs fashioned from brass pipes, coiled springs for feet, and steam chugging out of its metal ears.

  “Wow, not what I expected,” Remi said, and he began crawling out of the duck elevator.

  “He can really bounce,” Leo said.

  The creature was very much like a dog, but it was made entirely of brass pipes and metal parts and wires.

  “Calm down there, little buddy,” Remi said. It wasn’t that little. It was short and squat, in the shape of a plump bulldog. When Remi got close, the hopping stopped and the mechanical thing sat down, staring up at him with glassy eyes, steam shooting out of its nose in quick bursts.

  Blop had gone cold and quiet, like he was trying desperately not to be noticed, but when Remi set him on the floor, he finally gave in.

  “Hello, Clyde,” Blop said. “Please stay calm.”

  Clyde and Blop clearly had some history. Clyde was fond of Blop. Extremely fond. She ran around in a circle, steam blowing out of every crack and crevice in her weird body.

  “You know this thing?” asked Leo. “How?”

  “I’ve been here before with Merganzer,” Blop explained. “I’m afraid Clyde is a little bit over the moon for me.”

  “Clyde likes you?” Leo asked.

  Before Blop could answer, he began to shake, like he was about to be magically pulled off the ground. Then, as fast as the eye could see, Blop shot across the floor and landed with a loud clang on Clyde’s back.

  “Blop!” Remi yelled. His robot had been kidnapped by a magnetically charged metal dog. He ran right up to Clyde and tried to pry Blop free, but it was no use. It was as if Blop were bolted to Clyde’s back. The Franken-dog pranced around happily in a circle.

  “What can I say?” Blop said. If he’d had robot shoulders, he would have shrugged them. “She likes the sound of my voice.”

  A burst of steam shot out of Clyde’s upturned head, blasting Blop square in the face. Then Clyde began making beeping noises.

  “She says she wants us to follow her,” Blop translated.

  “You’re kidding,” said Remi. “You can understand what she’s saying?”

  “Or course I can. I’m a robot.”

  Clyde bounced up and down, higher and higher, nearly touching Blop’s head to the ceiling.

  “I hate when she does this,” Blop said.

  “How are we going to get you back?” Remi asked.

  “Oh, she’ll get tired of carrying me around. Eventually. But for now, I’m afraid I’m stuck here.”

  Leo shrugged, not sure what else to do. At least Blop could understand Clyde. It was a start.

  “Take us to your leader,” Leo said, feeling much better about the dungeon as Clyde bounded mechanically toward the back of the spooky room. Everything felt less scary, more wacky, just the way Merganzer D. Whippet liked it.

  Clyde stopped bouncing and started banging her head against the wall until Blop told Remi and Leo that it was a door they should open. It took them a few seconds to figure out all they had to do was push, and the wall drifted back on squeaking hinges. On the other side was a room less frightening than the one they were leaving.

  Leo thought of Mr. Carp and felt guilty for leaving him behind. But what could he do?

  “Hold tight, Mr. Carp!” Leo yelled behind him. “We’ll be back before you know it!”

  Clyde and Blop were already well ahead as Leo passed through the door into a high-ceilinged chamber.

  “That’s what I’m talking about!” Remi said, for this was less a dungeon and more the mad scientist’s lab he’d hoped to find. “This is the stuff!”

  A thick bolt of blue electricity streamed between two giant glass orbs hanging from springs on the ceiling; inside the glass, there was more electricity, moving in ghostly green and yellow patterns along the surface. There were tall round cylinders along the wall with dozens of rubber tubes sprouting out of their tops. Red and purple liquids ran through a hundred or more twisting clear tubes over their heads. A spinning belt wrapped over the top of a ten-foot flywheel turning in the center of the room. The wide belt disappeared into the floor, where the sound of pistons and gears leaked up through the concrete.
There were platforms and ladders and piles of journals and drawings everywhere they looked. In the middle of the room, there was a square iron table, its sides covered in meters, dials, knobs, drawers, and buttons.

  “I think I’m in love,” Remi said, and Leo knew why.

  The farthest wall back was made entirely of glass, and behind the glass sat row after row of Flart’s Fizz. Remi began walking like a zombie toward the wall of bottles.

  “Stay calm, Remi,” Leo said, following close behind, taking in the surroundings. “We need to find Dr. Flart fast. There’s no time for burping now.”

  Clyde bounced happily to her doghouse, which was in the corner and made of rivets and sheet metal. She tried to go through the door, but Blop banged into the frame and stopped her cold. Much beeping ensued as she tried again and again, each time with a little more force.

  “She’s not the smartest tool in the shed,” Blop said, banging into Clyde’s house before adding, “Takes her a little while to figure things out.”

  Leo didn’t have time to feel bad for Blop, because Dr. Flart’s mad scientist’s lab suddenly filled with the sound of a tremendous burp, followed by an explosion and a burst of light in one of the tall cylinders against the wall. The door blew open, pouring smoke, and a man stumbled out.

  “Clyde!” the man bellowed. “Bring me another!”

  Clyde immediately stopped what she was doing and bounced on her springy feet toward the bank of dials and knobs and buttons along the table in the middle of the room. The man didn’t seem to notice Remi and Leo standing in the shadows, and neither boy felt the urge to start talking. Clyde beeped and whirled. Steam shot out of her ears.

  “I haven’t got all day!” the man yelled. He had turned around and shoved his head back inside the cylinder, pulling out gobs of wires and adjusting things Leo and Remi couldn’t see. Even hunched over, the man was very tall.

  Clyde tapped her metal nose on a button and a claw attached to the ceiling by a coiled cord moved across the room. It plummeted to the floor near the glass wall, and when it reappeared, the claw was holding a bottle of Flart’s Fizz.