“She’s sweet,” Jennifer said, looking at the door Nicki had left through.
“She’s the best,” Bryan said. Now all he had to do was convince her mother of that.
AN HOUR LATER Nicki and Jennifer stood in front of the video cabinet in the living room trying to decide which movie to watch. They’d let Lucy inside as soon as the dishes were done, and Jennifer, after confessing she’d never been allowed to have a pet while she was growing up, took an instant liking to the dog. The three of them played tug-of-war with her until Lucy, finally tired out, curled up in a corner of the room and went to sleep. That was when Bryan suggested a movie. He didn’t want Jennifer to leave when they were all finally starting to relax.
Nicki grabbed a movie from the cabinet, but Bryan had a feeling she didn’t even know which one she held. She was spending more time looking at Jennifer than at the movies in front of her. He waited by the videocassette recorder, watching them both. Their resemblance was amazing.
“I like your jewelry.” Nicki’s words were soft, hesitant.
“Thank you.” Jennifer glanced at Nicki briefly before returning her attention to the triple stack of movies.
“I had a baby ring,” Nicki said. She was looking at the gold chains around Jennifer’s neck. “It had my name and my mom’s engraved on the inside.”
“Oh,” Jennifer said, pulling out a movie to read the blurb on the back.
Bryan remembered the ring. Lori had bought it for Nicki for her first birthday, their first birthday together. Come to think of it, he hadn’t seen it since the—
“I used to wear it on a gold chain around my neck, but I took it off to go swimming and then the tornado came and I never saw it again.”
Oh, God. He should have realized. He should have remembered how important that ring was to Nicki. They could at least have looked for it in the rubble.
“Your uncle told me about that tornado,” Jennifer said gently. “I’m sorry.”
“Me, too.” Nicki shrugged. “Have you ever seen The Lion King?” she asked, pulling another video out from the cabinet. Bryan was amazed. It was the first time Nicki had ever mentioned the tornado without crying.
Jennifer looked at the movie Nicki held out. “No.”
“It’s a great movie. You and Uncle Bryan should watch it.”
“What about you, Nick?” Bryan asked. “I thought you were going to watch with us.”
“I’ve already seen it a hundred times,” she said. “I’d kinda like to go to bed.”
He should consider himself lucky. Nicki had stayed up an hour later than usual already.
And it wasn’t like time alone with Jennifer was going to be any hardship for him.
Grabbing Lucy, Nicki kissed Bryan on the cheek. “Night, Uncle Bryan,” she said.
“Night, Nick. Be sure you brush.”
Nicki grimaced at him. “I will. Night, Ms. Teal.”
“Good night, Nicki. Thank you for the meat loaf. It was very good,” Jennifer said, standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room.
If she’d been watching she’d have seen the glow that spread across Nicki’s face at the polite praise, but she was still looking at the movie cassette Nicki had given her. Bryan couldn’t figure it out. Though she was gentle about it, Jennifer continued to shy away from Nicki as if the child had some kind of disease, yet Nicki was blossoming before his very eyes simply having Jennifer around.
Jennifer seemed to relax the second they heard Nicki’s bedroom door close behind her. “We don’t have to watch this if you don’t want to,” she said, handing him the movie.
Bryan reached for the video, pulling Jennifer up against him as he did. “As good as this is, there is something I’d rather be doing,” he said, nuzzling her neck.
Tilting her head back, she gave him better access. “Mmm. I see what you mean.”
They were alone and in private, and he’d been wanting her too long to just stop. He covered her lips with his, hungry for the taste of her. She was warm and sweet, and far too sexy for his peace of mind. Her lips opened beneath his and his body quickened as he accepted her invitation, deepening the kiss.
Never had a woman affected him so powerfully. His body surged against hers, aching with the strength of his yearning to take her with him on the wildest ride of his life. She was perfect. Her slim body filling his arms was like heaven, her breasts pressing into his chest an exquisite torture.
Bryan started to shake with the effort it took him not to lower her to the floor and pump himself into her until he found the blessed relief her kisses promised. She deserved better than that. So did he. And Nicki was right down the hall.
He dragged his lips from her mouth, resting his forehead against hers. “I guess we better watch that movie, after all,” he said, his breathing heavy.
“Probably.” Jennifer smiled wryly. “Nice girls don’t seduce their hosts when they’re invited to dinner, do they?”
“Is that what you were doing, seducing your host?”
“I don’t know. If I was, was it working?”
Bryan grinned at her, still holding her against him. “What do you think?”
“I think that you’re one hell of a man, Bryan Chambers.”
“Because I’m so hard it hurts?”
“No!” She burst out laughing. “Because you don’t let your physical desires overpower your brain—”
“You haven’t seen me at four o’clock in the morning,” Bryan interrupted, thinking of all the cold showers he’d taken since he’d met this woman.
“—and you don’t put pressure on me to satisfy those desires,” she finished.
“One thing I’ve never done was coerce a woman into bed. Either she wants it as badly as I do, or we don’t do it.”
“See, that’s what I mean.” She looked up at him. “Why couldn’t I have met you when I was fifteen?” she whispered.
Bryan tensed. “Who did you meet?” It was important for him to know the details, to understand.
She pulled away from him and sat on the couch. “No one really,” she said, looking down at the dainty white sandals on her feet.
“You had a baby, Jen. There had to be someone.”
Her head shot up. “I had a baby, yes, but I didn’t say it happened when I was fifteen.” She looked at him, puzzlement furrowing her brow.
Bryan froze, thinking back to the day she’d told him about her giving up a child. No. She’d never said when she’d had the baby. That was something he’d figured out on his own, because he knew how old Nicki was. Good Lord, what had he just done?
CHAPTER TWELVE
MORE THAN ANYTHING, Bryan hated the lies. He sat down beside Jennifer on the couch, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “I guess it was the way you said you wished you could’ve met me when you were fifteen,” he replied. “I just assumed that was when you got pregnant.” He tossed the truth around like a hot potato.
“Oh.” That was all. Nothing else.
“I won’t pressure you to tell me about it, Jen. But whenever you’re ready to talk, I’ll listen.”
She slipped her hand through the crook in his arm, resting her cheek against his shoulder. “I was too young, Bryan. But old enough to know better. And I don’t want you to know. I don’t want you to think any less of me.”
He couldn’t promise her it wouldn’t matter. It was his niece she’d given away. “The woman I care for is the woman you are today. Who you were with in the past is just that—in the past.” He spoke to her bowed head.
“I hope you mean that,” she whispered, raising her head, studying him, as if to determine the sincerity of his words.
“I’m more concerned with how you and Nicki get along than in how old you were when you lost your virginity.”
She pulled back. “I’m not sure she likes me,” she said, sounding just about her daughter’s age.
“She likes you, honey. After dinner the other night, she asked if we were going to see you again.”
“Ma
ybe because she was hoping you weren’t.”
“Trust me. She wasn’t. She almost got excited when I told her you were coming for dinner tonight.”
“She barely said two words to me.”
“You barely said two words to her, Jen.”
“Because I don’t know what to say.”
“You say what you’d say to me, within reason of course. You just need to learn to relax around her a little bit. She’s a great kid once you get to know her.”
Somehow he had to convince Jennifer she was good with children. She was having a hard enough time sticking it out with Nicki merely being his niece. She’d bolt for sure if she knew the true significance of winning Nicki’s regard.
It wouldn’t be like it was the first time she’d abandoned her daughter.
“She’s really strong, isn’t she?” Jennifer asked, sitting back on the couch. “I’m amazed how well she’s adjusted to the loss she’s suffered.”
“Until she met you, she spent most of her days in bed,” Bryan said bluntly.
Jennifer’s brows drew together in concern. “Was she sick?”
“Not unless you call the tendency to sleep your life away being sick.”
“But she seems so…so…normal.”
“She opens up when you’re around, Jen. Maybe it’s because you’re a woman, I don’t know, but she seems to have come out of her shell more in the past few days than she has in the whole past year.”
Jennifer’s eyes widened. “Really?”
Bryan grinned. She looked so naively pleased sitting there, this woman who’d given birth while still a child herself. “Yeah. Really. Listen, I promised Nicki a trip to the beach as soon as Calvin got caught up on things. Why don’t you come with us? We could take a couple of days, leave the day after tomorrow. What do you say?”
“To the beach?”
“Yeah. You can even pick the beach, as long as it’s on this coast.”
“I haven’t been to the beach since I was about ten.”
“Then it’s high time you went, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Just the three of us?” she asked, looking excited and scared out of her wits at the same time.
“Just the three of us. It’ll give us a chance to see if we’ve got something good going here or not.” It was time to make some decisions.
“I’m not sure I want to know if it’s the ‘or not,’” she said.
He didn’t want to know that, either. But it was time he found out one way or the other. And if, as he suspected, Jennifer was fine with Nicki once she allowed herself to relax, then he’d have to find out if Jennifer cared enough for him to understand when he told her who he really was, or rather, who Nicki really was.
“Don’t you want to find out now if we’re kidding ourselves here?” he asked.
“I guess.” She took a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll go. Just give me a couple of days to clear things up at the office.”
“You got ‘em,” Bryan said, telling himself he was doing the right thing. He wasn’t going to finally meet a woman who didn’t make him feel like her sheets were a straitjacket only to lose her before he ever really had her. He simply wasn’t going to let that happen.
NICKI WAS LOOKING FORWARD to the trip to the beach now that Ms. Teal was going with them. Uncle Bryan wouldn’t get bored with his pretty girlfriend along. They were going to some private beach Uncle Bryan knew about off the Florida Keys. It only had one hotel, and Uncle Bryan had gotten a three-bedroom suite for them. Nicki spent the next two days packing, and promising Lucy that she’d have a good time next door with Mrs. Baker and that she’d only be gone a few days.
Nicki really liked Ms. Teal. She didn’t talk much, but her voice was soft when she did say stuff and she always paid attention when she, Nicki, talked. And she smiled at her like her mom used to do sometimes when she came home from school. It made Nicki feel special, even if she really wasn’t.
Nicki looked at the three swimsuits spread out on her bed, wondering which one to pack. They were all one-pieces. When she’d gone to Shallowbrook for her birthday, her friends had all been talking about their new two-piece swimsuits. Knowing her uncle would never go for that, especially after he’d refused to buy her the baby T she’d wanted, Nicki looked back at the suits she had. She liked the plain green one the best, but the top was a little tight, and it made her feel kind of funny wearing it, like everyone could see that she was getting breasts. But the other one-pieces had flowers all over them and made her look like a little girl. She finally threw all three of them in. Maybe she wouldn’t go swimming at all.
She’d bet Ms. Teal looked like one of the ladies on TV in her swimsuit. It probably didn’t have any flowers. And she’d bet that Ms. Teal wouldn’t feel funny if her top fit tight, either. Ms. Teal probably never felt funny about anything. She was just about the most perfect person Nicki had ever met. Nicki’d sure love it if her other mother turned out to be someone like that.
But she wouldn’t. Someone like Ms. Teal would never have given her baby away. She’d have found a way to keep it, no matter what.
They were only going to be gone for three days, but Nicki packed all her new summer stuff. She didn’t want Ms. Teal to think she dressed like a dope.
She froze as a thought suddenly occurred to her. What if her real mother dressed like a dope? What if she didn’t understand about how some colors were good on some people but looked awful on others? What if she didn’t know how to wear her makeup or style her hair? Omigosh! What if she didn’t have any teeth?
Nicki giggled as she folded up one of her new shirts, picturing an old witch with no teeth knocking on the door, and Uncle Bryan telling her she had the wrong house when she asked for Nicki. But she stopped laughing when she thought about her other mother really showing up. Maybe she should tell Uncle Bryan she didn’t want to find her other mother—now, before it was too late.
She’d been worried a lot about why her first mother had given her away, about meeting a lady who’d allowed complete strangers to take her own baby. She’d been worried about the lady still not wanting her.
And besides, if Uncle Bryan was falling in love, if Ms. Teal was going to bring peace to his wandering soul, which surely she would since Nicki had never known her grandma to be wrong, then he’d be settling down, anyway, which meant Nicki didn’t need to worry about him feeling cramped and leaving her.
And Nicki hadn’t been feeling so crazy these past few days, either. She even felt a little happy about going to the beach and didn’t just want to stay in bed all the time. So maybe she didn’t need to worry about having something wrong with her from her other mother. Maybe she didn’t need her other mother at all anymore. And if she didn’t need her it wouldn’t matter, then, whether her other mother wanted her or not.
Ms. Teal would surely want her. Nicki could tell she liked her, ‘cause she smiled at her so nice. And she’d wanted to come to the beach with them, too. Besides, she loved Lucy. It had been her idea to get down on the floor to play tug-of-war with Lucy’s stuffed turtle, and she didn’t even say anything when Lucy’s hair had gotten all over her pretty white dress. She’d even laughed when Lucy had jumped up in her lap and kissed her. And if she loved Lucy she had to be someone who wouldn’t mind having a kid around.
Yeah, maybe if things went as good as she hoped at the beach, Nicki would just tell Uncle Bryan she didn’t want to find her other mother, after all.
THEY LEFT ATLANTA early Sunday morning. Bryan and Nicki picked Jennifer up at the penthouse before breakfast and drove straight to the airport. Nicki and Jennifer had breakfast there while Bryan got the plane ready to go. He said he’d grab a couple of doughnuts to take with him out to the hangar.
Jennifer stood with Nicki at the counter while they waited for the food they’d ordered, and then followed her to an empty booth, sliding in across from her.
Nicki smeared catsup on her hash browns, then handed the dispenser to Jennifer. “I liked your place, Ms. Teal. It’s really neat h
aving your own key to the elevator and everything.”
“Call me Jennifer, please. Ms. Teal makes me feel so old. And the elevator is actually a pain a lot of the time,” Jennifer said, reminding herself to pretend she was talking to a miniature version of Bryan or Tanya as she, too, covered her potatoes with catsup. “It takes forever to carry things up from the car after I’ve been shopping all day. And if you have to go to the bathroom, forget it.”
Nicki giggled. “What do you do then?” she asked.
“Tap my foot a lot.”
Nicki laughed again. Jennifer started to relax.
“You know, you’re pretty when you do that,” Jennifer said.
“Do what?” Nicki looked down at her plate, her face flushed.
“Smile,” Jennifer said, losing confidence. She’d bungled things already. She’d never have told Tanya she looked pretty when she smiled. And now she’d gone and embarrassed the child.
Nicki looked up, her eyes serious. “Thank you,” she said.
Jennifer’s fork hung suspended in midair. “For what?”
The child shrugged. “For saying that. My mom used to tell me I was pretty sometimes, but Uncle Bryan…well, you know, he’s a man. He mostly doesn’t like to see I’m growing up.”
“He’s giving you a hard time about it?”
“No. He just doesn’t want boys to notice me, which is okay, ‘cause I don’t, either, but that doesn’t mean I wanna look dumb.”
“You don’t look dumb! But I think I understand,” Jennifer said, trying not to smile. “Your uncle still sees you as a little girl, huh?”
“Yeah.” Nicki smiled and took a bite of toast.
“That’s not all bad,” Jennifer said, remembering her own youth. “At least he notices—and cares.” Maybe things wouldn’t have turned out as they had if someone had guided her a little more carefully.
“That’s what I thought, too,” Nicki said.
Bryan came in to get them just as they were finishing. He charged their meal to his account and led them out to the waiting plane.
The Birth Mother Page 16