They called out their goodbyes and stepped into the clear, cool night. When the door had closed behind them, Cassie looked at him. “You’re not getting off that easily. I could smell the testosterone in the air. Was that some kind of male dominance contest?”
“Not at all.” He bent down and smiled at Sasha. “Would you like me to carry your pumpkin for a while?”
Sasha nodded. He took it from her, then held out his hand to his niece. Cassie took her other one and they walked to the sidewalk and turned right. Already there were dozens of children and adults out for the festivities. As they passed a group of boys dressed like monsters, Sasha shrank against Ryan. He squeezed her hand reassuringly, then continued his conversation with Cassie.
“Your sister and brother-in-law are concerned about your safety while you’re living alone in my house. They wanted to make sure that I understood they were looking out for your interests. I assured them that I respect you as a person and would never do anything to make you uncomfortable.”
“I’m impressed you two got all that said. After all, I wasn’t gone that long.”
“Guys read between the lines. He understood, as did I.”
“If you say so. You would have more experience with the guy thing than me.” She paused. “Why wouldn’t they trust you? I do.”
His first thought was to tell her that was because she was so young. She didn’t have enough life experiences to know that she should be wary. But then he realized it wasn’t about age at all. It was about Cassie. She was one of the most open people he’d ever met. She would be this trusting at eighty.
“You take the world at face value,” he said. “That’s not always a good thing. Be grateful you have family watching out for you.”
They’d reached the first house. Cassie dropped to one knee and straightened Sasha’s crown. “Do you remember what we talked about this afternoon?” she asked. “About trick or treat?”
Sasha nodded.
“Okay, then all you have to do is walk up to that door and knock. When the people come out, hold out your pumpkin, say ‘trick or treat’ and they’ll give you candy.”
Sasha hesitated.
“We’ll go up with you,” Ryan assured her.
With Sasha leading the way, the three of them moved toward the front door. The porch light was on and more light spilled from the open windows.
“Go ahead and knock,” Cassie said.
Sasha stood immobilized.
“I guess this is a bigger moment than I’d realized,” Ryan said. He leaned forward and rapped his knuckles on the door.
When it opened a large, older woman peered out. “Oh, look, Martin, this one is so precious. Aren’t you just the prettiest thing.” She beamed at them all. “What a lovely family. Can you say ‘trick or treat’?”
Sasha opened her mouth, but there wasn’t any sound.
“Next year,” the woman said kindly. “She’ll be demanding seconds for sure. Here you go, hon.” She dropped a small candy bar into Sasha’s pumpkin. “You have a good time tonight and don’t eat too much sugar.”
They thanked the woman and left. As they walked down the path, Sasha fished the candy out of her pumpkin and held it up to both of them. “Look,” she said.
“I see.” Cassie took it from her and put it back in the container. “We’re going to wait until we get home before we eat any. You want to go to another house and try again?”
“More,” Sasha said.
Ryan smiled at Cassie over the girl’s head. “I think she’s getting the hang of this.”
At the next house they had to wait while the group in front of them collected candy. Sasha held out her pumpkin. She still didn’t say “trick or treat,” but she managed a faint “tank you” when a candy bar was placed in her container.
“More!” she called out. “More and more and more.”
“Ah, the greed is setting in,” Cassie said with a laugh. “It sure doesn’t take long.” She bent down and swept the girl into a hug. “Yes, we’ll get you more. Unfortunately you won’t eat very much of it, so that means I’ll have to help. Like I need more chocolate decorating my hips, thank you very much, young lady.”
Against his will Ryan found his gaze focusing on Cassie’s hips. They were round and womanly. Did she really think there was something wrong with them? He loved the shape of her hips. He’d spent many pleasant moments thinking about touching them, of having her on top of him and grabbing those perfect hips to guide her up and down on his….
“Unk Ryan, there.” Sasha pointed to the next house.
“As my lady wishes,” he said, forcing his mind away from his passionate, albeit inappropriate, thoughts.
This time Sasha raced up to the house and eagerly knocked on the door. When it opened she held out her pumpkin. “Candy,” she said.
The man at the door laughed. “Not the traditional greeting, but it gets the point across.” He dropped two wrapped pieces into her pumpkin.
Sasha smiled at him, set her container on the ground, then carefully took out one candy bar and handed it back to him. He took it and winked.
“You don’t have this thing figured out yet, do you?”
“Candy!” Sasha said loudly. “Candy, candy, candy. Tanks!”
With a little wave, she turned and headed for the street.
“What about this?” the man asked, still holding the treat she’d given him.
“I think she wants you to have it,” Ryan told him. He took Sasha’s free hand. “How long do you think she’ll hold out?”
They ducked around Darth Vader, a ghost and a kid in a really ugly slobbering-monster mask.
“I thought we’d go to the end of the block,” Cassie said, pointing to the stop sign three houses up. “We can cross over and come back on the other side of the street. She should be tired by then.”
They continued to walk from house to house. Sasha collected more candy than she handed back. Around them the sidewalks filled with more families. Ryan saw parents with their children, groups of kids alone. Several people stopped to tell Sasha that she was a beautiful princess. The child beamed with each compliment and Ryan felt an odd sense of pride, even though he had nothing to do with Sasha’s appearance.
He felt a sense of community that was as tempting as it was unfamiliar. He wanted this all to be real. For the longest time he’d thought his brother was a fool, that John had sold out for something insignificant and that he would live to regret cutting back on his hours so that he could spend time with his wife and daughter. Now Ryan knew that John had made the right decision. He’d had no business judging his brother’s actions.
Cassie and Sasha chatted with each other, occasionally drawing him into the conversation. But he was content to mostly listen while he mulled over his own thoughts. They turned up another walkway. Sasha was a couple of steps ahead when Cassie tripped over an uneven flagstone. Ryan grabbed her around the waist to keep her from falling. She clutched his arms.
Their combined actions brought her up against his chest. He felt the pressure of her breasts against him. One of her thighs slipped between his and bumped his rapidly swelling arousal.
The need was as instant as it was unexpected. One minute they’d been talking about upcoming movie releases for the holidays and the next she was in his arms. It took all his self-control to keep from hauling her closer and kissing her until they both forgot all the reasons they had to maintain distance in their relationship.
“Ryan?”
It was too dark for him to read her expression, but he heard the question in her voice. What the hell was he doing?
“Are you okay?” he asked, trying to sound casual. He released her and, when he was sure she’d regained her balance, stepped back a few feet. “You nearly took a header there. That path is pretty rough. Watch your step.”
She drew in a shaky breath. “I will. Thanks.”
For a second he thought she was going to say more, but thankfully she turned away. “Sasha?”
The little girl had paused halfway up the path. Now she waved and headed toward the front door. “Candy,” she called over her shoulder.
“That’s right,” Cassie told her. “You can…” She groaned. “Sasha, wait. Don’t go there.”
Ryan heard the concern in her voice. He scanned the front porch and saw what had alerted Cassie.
Fake cobwebs hung from the eaves of the porch. Candles flickered on the porch railing and in the corner two masked kids giggled together as they watched Sasha approach. Spooky music rose to a crash of cymbals, drowning out Cassie’s plea that they not scare the little girl as she approached.
Unsuspectingly, Sasha trotted right up the front steps and headed for the door. Ryan raced after her, passing Cassie in three strides. Even so, he was too late.
Sasha innocently reached for the bell beside the door. As she did so, the two monsters sprang toward her, yelling and waving their arms. Sasha let out a screech that took ten years off Ryan’s life, dropped her pumpkin and fled down the stairs. In her haste, she lost her balance. Ryan scooped her up before she tumbled to the ground.
“Hush, sweetie, it’s okay,” he said.
Sasha screamed and sobbed, clinging to him. Cassie rushed over and hugged the child. The three of them stood huddled together, the two adults murmuring promises that nothing bad was going to happen to her. Ryan could feel the tremors rippling through her.
“We’re really sorry,” a young voice said. “We were just playing. We do this every year. Most people know to keep the little kids away if they get scared. We’re sorry, mister.”
Ryan saw the two “monsters” in question had pulled off their masks and were maybe eleven or twelve. The boys looked as shaken as Sasha, probably because they were under orders not to frighten small children. One of them held out Sasha’s pumpkin.
“Here’s her candy. We gave her a couple of extra pieces.”
“Thank you.” Cassie took it, then smiled at the boys. “It’s not your fault. She’s only two and doesn’t really understand what’s going on. We know you didn’t scare her on purpose.” She kissed the top of Sasha’s head. “Let’s go home.”
Ryan nodded. The toddler’s tears had slowed, but she still trembled. “I’m glad you spoke to those two boys. I wanted to blister their hides and I would have overreacted.”
“I don’t think they were being deliberately cruel. I saw the cobwebs and candles when we were walking toward the house. I should have realized what was going on.”
“It’s not your fault,” Ryan told her. He shifted Sasha. “Should you be holding her instead of me? I mean, I got to her first, that’s why I grabbed her.”
In the dim light from the streetlamps, he saw her smile at him. “She’s your niece. You should be the one holding her. I think it’s great.” She turned her attention to the child. “Better?” she asked.
Sasha nodded. “Bad boys,” she said.
“Not bad, just playing. I’m sorry you got scared. But you’re safe now and we’re not going to let anything happen to you. Okay?”
Sasha nodded.
She was so damn small, Ryan thought as he carried the toddler the rest of the way home. The world was a large and difficult place. He would have to protect Sasha as much as he could, all the while teaching her how to survive. The enormity of the responsibility made him shudder, but he couldn’t back away from it now—he was all Sasha had.
When they arrived at the house, they said quick goodbyes to Chloe and Arizona. The doorbell rang again and again as more children stopped by for candy. With each cry of “trick or treat,” Sasha clung tighter to Ryan’s neck.
“She’s not having much fun anymore,” Cassie said. “Why don’t you put her to bed while I man the door.”
“Me?” Ryan shook his head. “You know how to do that stuff. I’ll—”
Before he could finish his sentence, Sasha raised her head and looked at him. “Unk Ryan,” she said. Tears stained her face; her eyes were puffy from crying.
How was he supposed to say no to her?
“You need to do this,” Cassie told him. “She doesn’t need a bath. I even brushed her teeth before we went out and she hasn’t had anything to eat since, so don’t worry about that. Put her in a nightgown, get her in bed, then read to her. She looks tired and I’m sure she’ll fall asleep fairly quickly.”
He wanted to protest that he wasn’t ready to handle this sort of thing. Instead he nodded and carried his niece upstairs to her room. It only took a couple of minutes to get her out of her costume and put her into her pink kitten pajamas. Then she was tucked in bed and he was searching for the right story.
“Unk Ryan?”
He looked up from the bookcase. Sasha’s big blue eyes were filled with tears again. “Me don’t like monsters.”
“I know, sweetie.” He sat on the edge of the mattress and pulled her close. “I’ll protect you. I promise to check the whole house tonight. Every closet, every door. You’ll be safe. Uncle Ryan will keep you safe.”
He didn’t know how much she actually understood. At first he thought he’d gotten through to her because she was quiet, but then he realized she couldn’t talk because she was crying too hard. He drew her up onto his lap and rocked her. She cried as if her little heart was breaking. Finally she murmured a single word.
“Mommy.”
Now Ryan felt tightness in his chest. None of this was fair.
“I know,” he murmured. “I know you miss her. I know I’m a poor substitute for both your parents. I wish I could offer you more, but I’m it. I don’t know how to do things, and to be honest, kid, there are times when you terrify me. But I’m not going anywhere. We’ll figure this out together.” With a lot of help from Cassie, he reminded himself. He wouldn’t have survived this without her.
Sasha continued to cry and he continued to hold her. Eventually she fell asleep. Carefully he lowered her into her bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. Then he sat in the darkness and wondered what the hell he was supposed to do now.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE LAST OF the trick-or-treaters had rung the doorbell about a half hour before. Cassie moved restlessly in the living room and wondered what Ryan was doing. He’d been in with Sasha for so long that if he hadn’t had to come down the stairs—which she could see clearly—she might have thought he’d slipped into his office. But he hadn’t. He was still with his niece.
She moved to the front door and stared out through the beveled glass. The darkness seemed thicker than it had before when costumed children had brightened the sidewalks. She sank onto the wooden bench there, then sprang back to her feet. She wanted to be doing something, but she wasn’t sure what—nothing felt right.
Part of the problem was her concern for Sasha. The poor girl hadn’t needed a scare like the one she’d experienced. It wasn’t a fun way to end her night. Cassie knew the boys had only been playing, but Sasha was too young to understand. At least she would probably forget between this year and next.
The good news was that in her time of need, she’d turned to her uncle and Ryan had been there for her. Slowly, uncle and niece were forming a family.
This was what she wanted, Cassie reminded herself. This was what she would have chosen for Sasha. She was pleased and relieved. At least she wasn’t going to have to worry when Ryan took the girl back to San Jose, or whatever he decided to do with her. But the knowledge that they were bonding also left her feeling like an outsider.
Cassie leaned her forehead against the cool glass. Telling herself that everything was happening the way it was supposed to didn’t help. Everything was mixed-up. She knew in her head that Ryan and Sasha had to form a family
unit. Originally she’d been concerned that he would simply ignore the toddler and not want anything to do with her. But when she’d reminded him of his responsibilities, he’d come through like a seasoned parent.
So what was the problem? Maybe it wasn’t about Ryan and Sasha at all, but about Ryan himself. The man had no flaws. Oh, he could get caught up in work and he liked to think he was the center of the universe. On a good day, he wanted to be treated as such, but Cassie wasn’t talking about the details. She meant the inner being that made up the essence of Ryan Lawford. He’d resisted dealing with Sasha, but when push came to shove, he’d been there. Now, only a few short weeks into the relationship, he was terrific with her: patient, caring, making the little girl feel that she was the most important part of his life. Acting as if she was. How was she, Cassie, supposed to resist that?
It’s just a crush, she reminded herself. Her feelings, whatever they were, had no basis in reality. In fact—The sound of footsteps broke through her thoughts. She turned and saw Ryan heading down the stairs. He looked tired and drawn.
She crossed the foyer and touched the curving end of the banister. “Is everything all right?” she asked. “Did Sasha have trouble falling asleep?”
Dark emotions filled his green eyes. “At first she was worried about the monsters. I told her I would protect her, but I don’t know if she understood what I was trying to say. Then—” He cleared his throat. “She was asking about her mother.”
His expression turned haunted and he swore under his breath. “How am I supposed to deal with that? I can’t fix her problem. There’s nothing I can say or do to make it better.”
“You’re right,” Cassie said gently. “You can’t fix it. No one can. You can only be there to help her get through the tough times.”
“Maybe.” He shrugged. “I held her. I rocked her in my arms and let her cry her little heart out. I thought I was going to go crazy listening to the sobs. I didn’t know what else to do. I’m useless.”
“No. You’re exactly what she needs.”
“Yeah, right. What with all my experience with kids.” His mouth twisted. “I’m screwing this up.”
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